Instead, he forced his gaze up to guide their path, feeling his chest cave in more and more with each breath. “I wasn’t around mirrors much. I just couldn’t, after…”
There was no need to spell it out again. He knew better now.
Strangely, a hint of a smile broke over her lips. “You neglected this dashing face?” From the side, she flicked at his chin before mussing up his hair. “No wonder all of this became so unkempt, then.”
“Shut up.” Daron swatted her away, shielding his face. Almost normal, for a moment.
“You shouldn’t have kept away. It nearly drove me mad.” Her grin soon slipped back into the cracks as her frown gradually resurfaced. “I could only imagine it was how you felt when I’d gone. As if you had disappeared.”
It wasn’t the first time he’d heard it. He’d broken so easily, like the mirror he’d pushed her through that night. And once she disappeared, so much else followed. Without her, without the stage or his magic, every constant in his life had vanished. Every anchor to steady him and pillar to lean on, shattered to pieces. It was no wonder how hard he’d fallen.
If only he could stop.
“Eventually, I did find you. Among other things.” Eva claimed the watch back, her gaze narrowed straight ahead. “When everyone forgot about me, you never could. You never stopped believing I was somewhere out there, even when the world had moved on,” she said quietly. “And yet, you’d look so broken. It was like seeing you in pieces sometimes.”
A pinch of hot shame scalded around his neck. She’d witnessed him at his lowest. His loneliest. “Maybe deep down, I always knew you would never come back. Even if you had a way out.”
Head shaking, she sucked in a breath through her teeth. “You act like the only thing this place can ever be is one big cage—as if the true side is any better off.” Her brow jutted up. “If it’s my choice to stay, is that really so bad?”
“But to be without your friends? Your family?” His throat tightened. “How can you choose what is all just illusion, Eva? None of this is real.”
A faint alarm rang in his ears when her spine went ramrod straight. Tense as a hawk. Her wrath doused the air as she stepped right in his path, glowering with eyes dark as a snake’s waiting to strike. “It may not be real to you—but what I’ve been able to build here, for myself, is plenty real to me,” she bit out. “Here, I can live. Let go. Rise higher than anything the real world has to offer.”
The thrill lighting that fire was all Vain. The main headliner, leader of the Diamond Rings. Watching her perform within her hoop the other night left him in awe of the stranger wearing his sister’s face. No longer Eva, but Vain.
Though perhaps the performer had never been the stranger to begin with. Perhaps her true side was this—the very stage she made for herself.
“All I’ve ever wanted to do is find you and make things right.” His voice became even smaller at the drop in the air. “To fix this.”
The mantra that had carved through his thoughts for years hushed at the surprise bite of nails. A hand that so rarely reached out for others, taking his now. “Some things break for a reason. And some things just … break,” she said. “You pushed me through the mirror, but I chose to fall.” And if I have no regrets over it, you shouldn’t…” She trailed off slowly with troubled eyes sliding past his shoulder. “Do you … hear that?”
Daron froze.
The devils. They were coming.
His heart slammed in his chest, thundering so loudly in his ears he begged it to stop.
Run. They had to run now.
“No,” he stammered, pulling her into a sprint with him. “I don’t hear anything, we have—”
Eva refused to budge. Still as a statue, carved with ever-widening eyes and an eerie ghost of a smile. “That applause means it’s show time…”
Daron dropped his hand from her.
Eva?” Panic tore through him the longer she stared through him like glass, unblinking. He fought every urge to turn, simply whispered her name again. Took her by the shoulders with a pleading shake. “Please, wake up. You have to—”
Pain burst everywhere from the burning force that slammed him to the ground. Daron lost his breath for a moment, tasting blood as he coughed. Eva’s laughter fell over him as she walked on, talking to herself and whatever waited for her.
If it takes me, you run.
Daron gritted his teeth, eyes tearing as he forced himself up.
And if it takes you, I’ll run.
Without hesitation, he ran for Eva and threw her behind him. Her screams pierced at an unnatural pitch as she scratched at his arms, drawing blood with her claws.
Daron felt nothing at all when he welcomed the illusion stretching over him like a net.
Go on, he dared. Take everything.
As he gave himself up to the darkness, only then did he see light.
43
Kallia didn’t cry. She didn’t resist. In silence like this, she wasn’t sure what to do. Getting ready in the way she did, without the usual chatter and laughter and cursing that volleyed among the Diamond Rings over her head, was more hollow than she could’ve ever imagined. Without the others by her, without even knowing where they were, she felt so small. So alone.
So unprepared.
She squeezed the diamond ring on her necklace, wishing she could just rip it off and fly away.
Only there was nowhere to fly to. Nowhere to run, except back into the cage.
Her heart cracked a little, but she stopped it at that. If she gave in to thoughts that would sink her to the floor, she would never get up.
She welcomed the deep rouge she brushed over her lips, the bold lines she painted along her eyelids. The blush that livened up her face like a lie. The jewel bowl stared at her from the edge of her vanity, the last piece of her mask. The most complicated one to put on.
It felt silly to put on makeup before she was brought to the gate, but she would take any power she could get. Anything to hide behind.
Soft footsteps sounded behind her, falling quiet as shadow on the carpeted ground.
Her body tensed, knowing those steps. Freezing the moment he came into the frame of the mirror, at her back. She focused only on the path of buttons of his suit by her ear, the one hand that almost dared touch her shoulder.
“Can I have a moment?”
His voice breathed more winter than usual. So calm, so controlled, it only stoked the rage in her more.
Before he could touch her, she whirled around with her fist flying hard—
Jack caught it in his ice-cold grip.
And eyes, black as the night above, stared back at her.
“Jack?” She faltered, fear digging into her when he kept his hold on her like a shackle.
Despite the terror, the dimmest hope sparked inside her. She knew Jack well enough at this point to know that this was not him. He was there, behind those eyes, with his own thoughts and wants and concerns.
He was simply unable to break free.
“Jack, wake up.” She forced iron into her voice, pulling back her fist with everything she had. “Let me go—”
He obeyed. The force sent her falling back onto her chair, facing the mirror with his hands over her shoulders. Keeping her there.
“You could never hurt me, Kallia,” he said. “But I could always hurt you.”
The tension in her jaw could split her skull in half. Despite gritting her teeth, they still chattered. Still shook. “Jack. Please. Wake up.”
“I am awake,” he said, dipping his head into frame of the reflection. His dark eyes, shining through. “We all are.”
She shuddered as he continued gliding his cold fingers up and down her shoulders, the length of her throat, before reaching the chain.
She flinched.
Jack smiled. “I won’t harm you. I would never,” he said. “Besides, I wasn’t given orders to hurt you.”
The specificity set her on edge. Meant to taunt her, like bait. “What did
you do?”
“Nothing too worrisome. Just sent two on a walk outside.” His fingers danced by her necklace. “Roth’s orders.”
Her heart stopped cold. He wasn’t joking. Without even asking, she knew who had been sent. The wounds to press to get her to scream the most.
“The gate is just outside,” he said, skimming the thin chain. “It’s waiting for you.”
“Why the hell would I help now?” she bit out, ducking out from under his touch. Easily, Jack snapped her back into place, her back to his front.
“Because your cooperation determines when the torture ends,” he whispered in her ear. “If I were you, I wouldn’t wait too long. The devils are ravenous. And they love a good hunt.”
Her heart became a crushing weight in her chest. Everything it touched hurt. Every breath brought an ache of pain. She was only glad she wasn’t crying. This Jack would relish the sight, breaking her down without even breaking a bone.
“Where’s the gate?” she seethed. Her insides tensed, the realization hitting her with a numbing force. The gate was here. It had brought its own wave of destruction to the city the night before, and now she would meet it.
She would face it.
“Just outside our gates.” Jack sounded pleased to answer. “Roth will be watching.”
“And you?” When his hand trailed beneath her jaw, she stopped him by the wrist and gazed up at him.
Please.
Those dark eyes narrowed on her grasp like a candleflame, curious. The first emotion to emerge from him aside from cruelty. When he didn’t pull away, she felt something coil tightly inside.
Closely, she studied his face as her thumb stroked the tops of his knuckles.
Jack.
Every soft press of her finger to his, she waited for him to show. For a piece of him to soften and warm, his lips to—
There was a hard yank, and the sound of a delicate break reached her ears.
Her heart echoed, feeling nothing but numbness, waiting for the pain to rush in a scalding wave.
Except he hadn’t snapped or twisted any bone.
With a hypnotist’s grace, he dangled her torn necklace before her eyes, letting it swing slowly as a pendulum while pieces of broken chain plinked against the table.
Kallia finally felt the edges of her eyes water.
Jack observed her with an accomplished smirk and whispered close to her ear, “I’m here to make sure you can’t escape.”
44
Kallia walked out through the city gates with her eyes closed. Her teeth chattered. She didn’t even care to wipe away the tears streaking down her face.
Jack had already watched her cry long enough. The fact that she couldn’t stop seemed to please him all the more.
“You’ll have to open those eyes eventually, my dear…”
The voice was Roth’s, but there was so much more inside it. More monster than magician. All along, he’d been exactly so.
Coward, too. If he wanted her to open her eyes, he’d have to force them open himself.
As she walked forward, it was the one thing she could choose.
One last choice, made out of terror.
Shame should’ve poured over her, covering her like hot oil before the drop of a lit match. She waited for the flames to devour her completely, to burn where she stood.
For each step after the other, to be her last.
The tears poured freely as the music met her ears. There were those who still celebrated in the Glorian behind her, completely unaware that death was just outside their gates. That death had been coming for them, every night.
If she didn’t get this right.
The thought filled Kallia with bile, before her fingers brushed cold glass.
She froze.
Open your eyes.
Her heart thundered hard against her chest, it pained every breath.
There were no more steps to take, no more time to think. Only one thing left to do.
Open your eyes.
They only shut tighter, even as tears fell. She was sure if she looked, she’d see only the picture of fear staring back at her.
It was the last thing she wanted to remember about herself.
“What are you waiting for?”
Roth’s roar from whatever safe pedestal he stood upon to watch was a sound of rage. Of demand and force. She knew what would happen if she didn’t obey. She heard what he would do to them, just in his voice.
Kallia hadn’t even given herself a moment to fear where they might be, what he might be doing to them despite what she was doing now.
At least they weren’t here to see her. To see this.
Open your eyes.
Her fingers shook as she lifted her hand once more, buying whatever time she could before the time came for her to see.
In all her dreams of this moment, she never thought it would feel quite like this. The worry had eaten away at her, when Vain told her not to worry at all. They’d been so confident, too sure, that it would never come to this.
Once here, she was even less ready than before.
She didn’t feel any more powerful than she did, first walking through the gates of this Glorian. Terror turned her back into that weak magician, grasping at whatever magic she could to feel powerful again. Whatever power she had gained would still never be enough.
Because when her fingers brushed at the cold surface again, she felt more power than she could ever hope to destroy.
The sort of power she’d always wished for, that she’d always dreamed of.
That it would be her end was not at all what she’d expected.
The hellish cries that rose around her drowned out the music that surged from the city behind her. A language she could not understand that sounded more like the growls and snarls of predators on the hunt. All of the devils that awaited in that darkness, that took up the sky, reveled and readied as one.
They would wait no more.
Shakily, Kallia dragged her finger over the smooth surface, reaching the web of broken lines in—
A scream.
It pierced through her like a knife and twisted as more followed.
Cries for help, in agony, for the end.
Names desperately shouted. Names she’d never heard before, the last word for some.
Kallia wanted to cover her ears, tear them off to silence this nightmare of noise. A sob caught in her throat, bile rising at the evil she felt in just those cracks. They stabbed more pain, more sorrow, than anything she’d ever felt.
It was the mirror’s promise, burning through every vein and every thought beneath the fractured surface—
Kallia …
She paused, stilling her touch over the crack at the weak whisper that rose from it. The crushed sound of someone’s last word.
Her name.
It almost sent Kallia to her knees, hearing that voice die. That final moment of a woman this mirror remembered. That this mirror had seen.
These weren’t promises, nor a future she heard.
The past remained in the scars of the mirror. Every break she felt held the screams of those from before, the last sight of the surface before.
Death, to all of those forced to face it.
The pain was overwhelming, and the mirror remembered it all. Every life it took, marked in every crack left over like a wound. An infection.
Kallia knew why Roth thought it would be easier this time, to break the mirror once and for all. One more blow, and it would shatter to pieces. A gate so powerful was just a fragile mirror, after all. Even the weakest magician, brave enough to go up to it, could easily make it shatter.
Kallia.
She held on to the voice it gave her. It could’ve been a mother. A sister. Someone who loved her enough to make her their final thought once that mirror took them.
For the first time, the tears fell for them. These strangers who would forever be at a distance. She would never know them. And they would never know her.
And they
would live on only in the pain of this mirror.
Open your eyes.
Break it.
Kallia wanted to. She wanted to pull away and run, if only to get the screams out of her head. To find silence.
Her breath shook as she pressed her brow to the glass. The web of veins and cracks, so sharp against her skin, she wouldn’t be surprised if they cut at her. A parting gift from one broken thing to another.
This would be Kallia’s.
The screams still went on in her head, where they would probably remain for the rest of her days. So much pain remembered, but never forgotten. She never wanted to forget this, or silence them.
She poured what she could into the scars. She didn’t have enough power to break, but this, she could do.
Slowly, the breaks in the glass softened under her brow, as did the voices in her head. The screams that would forever be remembered.
As her name rose for one last time, Kallia dropped to her knees.
Her muscles trembled from so much loss, she could hardly stand. Could hardly breathe.
As the world came back in a storm of noise, she found she had no choice when someone gripped her by the neck and yanked her up.
And stared straight into Jack’s fathomless eyes.
“Where did it go?” he growled, crushing her throat. “What the hell did you do?”
Roth’s voice flowed through him, and she smiled. If they were angry, then she must’ve done something right.
Through her blurred vision, Zarose Gate was gone. She saw it from the ground as he threw her down. She could barely feel the pain. She felt utterly boneless with bliss. Light and floating.
She lifted her head as someone approached. Roth, looking down at her, seething. He was a nightmare of shadows now, his face was hardly even recognizable. They’d been careful to place her away, far out of reach from the mirror. Roth glanced coldly at it from where he stood. “Why must you make this harder, Kallia? Harder than it should be?”
With his shoe, he kicked her over so that her back was to the ground. So that she had no choice but to watch him circle her from above.
“It can’t be broken,” she slurred. “It’s gone.”
When Night Breaks Page 41
