by Chris Bedell
BEFORE
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 2018
Afternoon sunlight trickled into Mallory’s bedroom while I was standing in front of her desk.
Yup. Somehow, I was gonna end my feud with Mallory by gaining the upper hand over the Tommy situation. Even if I had no idea what my sleuthing would uncover. There was no forgetting my twitching jaw when Mallory snuck into my bedroom and demanded I back off about Tommy. If didn’t know better, then I would’ve accused her of being unhinged.
I didn’t have to worry about Mallory finding me, though. She was in New York for the afternoon with the high school’s debate team and Kelly let me in the house under the premise of returning a book Mallory lent me.
I placed Mallory’s copy of Gone Girl on her desk, then did a 180 of her room. Whatever my search entailed, I had to be discreet. There was no telling how Mallory would react if she realized I snooped through her bedroom.
Something caught my attention from the corner of my eye. A leather journal poked out from a stack of papers and books on Mallory’s desk. I only had one option—time to read Mallory’s diary.
I snatched the diary from the clutter, then flipped through it.
I paused on one entry while my pulse continued drumming in my ears. I couldn’t have read what I just had—an entry from the beginning of last June. But I wasn’t having a fever dream, which meant accepting what I discovered. Even if said detail defied societal norms.
No matter how much rage pulsed through my body from Mallory’s behavior since the beginning of September, I now understood what was wrong with her. And maybe, just maybe, I would’ve empathized with Mallory if it wasn’t for her blackmailing Archie into an indecent proposal. I would’ve been angry if I discovered my boyfriend in bed with his sister, because there was no excusing Tommy and Gemma sleeping together.
I could speculate even if I needed more facts before accusing Mallory of murder. Discovering Tommy and Gemma’s affair provided a motive for harming Tommy. I might not have paid much attention in freshman English, yet I remembered the bit about nothing like a scorned woman.
Shuffling footsteps grew louder and louder.
Crap. Kelly might’ve been coming to check on me.
I shoved Mallory’s diary back under the pile of clutter on her desk, then forced a smile when Kelly entered the bedroom.
She giggled. “You’re taking a while to return a book.”
“I was feeling nostalgic.”
“Excuse me?” she asked.
“I regret my strained relationship with Mallory.”
“Dynamics change.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to like it,” I said.
“Count yourself lucky,” Kelly said. “You were her friend, not her sister, so you aren’t obligated to have her in your life.”
I smirked. “Do I detect resentment?”
“You said it; I didn’t.”
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2018
Water gushed from the bathroom sink, then I splashed it into my face.
Deep breaths. I had a few minutes before first period and could pretend life was okay. Nobody else had to know today was my father’s birthday just because I did.
I turned the faucet off and grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser to the left of the sink. After that, I wiped my face.
The door creaked, revealing a guy.
Archie grinned. “Funny seeing you here.”
“Hi,” I mumbled.
He elevated his eyebrows. “Something wrong?”
“Just normal school worries.”
Archie crossed his arms. “Try again. Even I’m not that gullible.”
“I’m not discussing this with you.”
“I still care about you.”
I snorted. “It’s a little late for that.”
“Don’t be like this. Give me another chance to prove myself.”
My lips curled. The universe shouldn’t have tested me, yet here I was. And I’d have to guard the secret about today being my father’s birthday. Archie didn’t have a right to see me vulnerable after agreeing to Mallory’s indecent proposal.
“Come on.” He inched forward, so close his breath prickled against my skin. “What’s the worst that’ll happen from an honest conversation?”
I grunted. “Fine. Have it your way.”
“Spill it.”
“Today would’ve been my father’s forty-second birthday,” I said.
He shuddered. “I had no idea.”
“I should go.” I was about to leave when Archie grabbed my arm, sending chills up my back. No matter how much time passed, the spark was still there. The spark that left my mouth gaped. If Archie hadn’t hurt me, then I would’ve wanted to kiss him. There was no point in our lips being so close to each other if we weren’t gonna do anything about it.
“We can ditch school if you want,” Archie said.
“I’m not in the mood to get in trouble.”
He extended his arm and parted a lock of my hair to the side. “You’ve got no reason to believe me, but I really am sorry about everything.”
“Archie, please!”
“If I could do everything over, things would be so different.”
“What’s done is done.”
“If you won’t talk about your pain with me, then you should chat with Rebecca and Dan. I’m sure they’d be happy to listen.”
“I’ll think about it.”
His eyes remained glued to mine. “You don’t deserve to be unhappy—you deserve the best of everything.”
“I’ve learned to live with the pain like everything else in life.”
“Fuck it.” Archie pulled me up against his body, then kissed him. He even buried his fingers in my hair and gave me tongue.
I didn’t push him away, though. I let him continue kissing me while closing my eyes. Things weren’t often mutually exclusive in life. I could be pissed with Archie but still wanna kiss him. While I might not have been sure of much, I had this moment, and I’d enjoy it while I could. Especially when I had no idea what I’d do about the Gemma and Tommy revelation.
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2018
Rebecca and I hovered in front of Dan’s locker before first period.
“I wish Thanksgiving would arrive already,” Dan said.
Rebecca glared, then rubbed her eye. “You’ve got some time before that.”
“Don’t kill a dream,” Dan said.
Archie drifted down the hallway, giving me a look. I met his gaze before he was soon out of sight.
“What was that about?” Rebecca sipped from her water bottle.
“You don’t wanna know,” I said.
Dan closed his locker. “Yeah, we do. Keeping secrets is rude.”
Fine. Time for me to reveal the truth. Perhaps getting their perspective would provide insight into what I was supposed to do about Archie. I could hope, at least. Needing advice was natural, even if I had to live for me, not anyone else.
“We kissed yesterday,” I blurted.
Rebecca’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets. “What?”
“It was my father’s birthday,” I said.
Dan’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “That’s right…”
“I’m sorry we weren’t there for you,” Rebecca said.
I exhaled. “No point in complaining about it now.”
“We should’ve been more considerate, and it won’t happen again,” Rebecca said.
Dan nodded. “Absolutely.”
“Do you know what you’re gonna do about Archie?” Rebecca asked.
Way to ask a loaded question. I had no clue how I was supposed to talk about my feelings with other people if I couldn’t acknowledge them to myself. Especially if I’d always wonder when the next thing would go wrong in my relationship with Archie. No telling what Mallory was capable of doing anymore.
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2018
I trekked through the school hallway on the way to lunch when I bumped into Archie.
“Doing better?”
he asked.
“Yeah. It was just a bad day.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“I didn’t mean to dump on you.”
Archie shook his head. “Please don’t apologize, Chad.”
“I hope I didn’t send mixed signals by not stopping the kiss.”
“Don’t worry about it—I shouldn’t have kissed you during your moment of vulnerability,” Archie said.
I took in a breath. “I wanted to kiss you.”
“Really?”
“Running into you is good—I was gonna find you anyway.”
He wiggled his eyebrows. “I’m not that hard to find—we’ve got several classes together.”
“I know, I know.”
“Is there any way you can give me another chance?” Archie pleaded.
Bad things would happen regardless of if Archie was in my life. I also couldn’t let Mallory win the “game.” I deserved the opportunity to pursue my own happiness. If Archie and I were gonna make our relationship work, then we actually had to try. No bullshit. No lies. No secrets. It was one hundred percent, or it was nothing.
I laughed. “Fine. You’re on probation.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’ll give you a chance to prove yourself, but don’t make me regret it.”
“I won’t.”
The bell rang.
“Would you wanna grab lunch together?” he asked.
I didn’t hesitate—not even for a second. “Sure. That’d be great.”
Archie grabbed my hand and we darted down the hallway. Having lunch together wouldn’t eliminate my skepticism of Archie, but it was a start, and I wouldn’t dismiss the opportunity to build a better future. If I wanted to improve my life, then I had to believe happiness was possible.
FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 2018
Archie and I stood in my kitchen a little past eight in the evening.
Mom was away on a business trip for the weekend, and Archie and I’d take advantage of the alone time. No telling when we’d have the opportunity again, because I so wanted Mom to walk in on us and give us a sex talk.
I handed Archie a bowl. “Enjoy!”
“I will. Espresso chip is my favorite flavor of ice cream.”
I was about to take a bite of my ice cream when something beeped.
I couldn’t help but check my phone when hanging out with Archie, even if some people thought doing so was rude. I was still a teenager, and Mom might’ve wanted to check in on me. I couldn’t let her worry. Pointless drama was the last thing I needed. My life was supposed to be getting less complicated, not more complicated.
I grumbled after sneaking a peak at my iPhone. I had one new text message from Mallory: I’m so sorry for everything and I hope you’ll think of me fondly one day.
“What’s wrong?” Archie demanded.
“Nothing.”
“It wasn’t nothing.”
“You’re right—the text was from Mallory,” I said.
“What happened to no more secrets?” Archie finished the rest of the ice cream, then placed the bowl in the sink.
“Mallory doesn’t matter. Nothing is gonna spoil our evening,” I said.
“If you say so. What did she want?”
“See for yourself.” Handing Archie my iPhone was best. It wasn’t like he wanted to track my every move—he was just a little curious. And if I wanted him to be open with me, then I needed to lead by example.
His lips quivered. “You aren’t worried about Mallory?”
“No,” I said, taking my iPhone back from him.
Archie put his hands on his hips. “How can you be so sure?”
“She always pulls crap like this.” I remained silent for a second. “Like last May when she got into a fight with her sister, Kelly, and made everyone think she was missing for a couple days.”
“If you say so.”
“Enough about Mallory. How about we go watch that movie?” I asked.
“Sure.”
Yup. No need for guilt. Mallory actually hadn’t said she’d harm herself, so I could pretend she was fine. She also wasn’t my responsibility after everything she put me through. If she had a problem, then she could bitch to her sister. Kelly was the only one who was obligated to tolerate Mallory’s crap, and that was just the way it was.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2018
Archie and I exited Starbucks while not much blue remained in the afternoon sky.
The universe was once again in the mood to fuck with us, though. Mallory just left the sandwich shop a couple of feet away from us. However, she didn’t have her typical hyena smile. Instead, her face drooped. Almost as if she hadn’t been faking it yesterday when she texted me.
Archie leaned into my ear. “Should we say something?”
“No,” I said, whipping my head back and forth. “Let’s just get dinner.”
Mallory hollered at us when we were about to walk away. “How are you guys doing?” she asked.
“Fine,” I said.
Mallory played with a strand of her hair. “What are you up to?”
“Just gonna grab a bite to eat, then watch some Netflix,” Archie said.
Mallory frowned at me. “I tried reaching out to you yesterday.”
I squeezed Archie’s hand tighter. “We were busy.”
“I’m really sorry for everything that’s happened and would like a fresh start,” Mallory said. “I don’t wanna fight with you anymore, Chad.”
Hell must’ve frozen over. Mallory didn’t have a wrinkled nose, and I once again almost believed she was being honest. She had nothing to gain at this point—more scheming would only make me hate her more.
Intellectualizing how she was young enough to start over didn’t mean I should’ve been the one to give her a second chance. Forgiving her wouldn’t erase everything she did to me. I might not have been perfect, yet I had never done anything as bad as Mallory.
The wind rattled through the air, and my teeth chattered. So much for hoping the cold weather wouldn’t arrive.
“I’d really like some company tonight,” Mallory said. “Kelly is out with her girlfriends, and it’d nice to do something fun.”
“And why should we do that? Nothing requires us to be friends,” I said.
Mallory pushed up her sleeves. “You’d want someone to give you another chance if you were in my position. Also, I can spring for a bottle of tequila because of my fake ID.”
No matter how much I almost kicked myself for considering the possibility, I wouldn’t. Being “friends” with Mallory provided an opportunity to dig for more information on Tommy. I’d beat her at her own game.
“Fine. We’re gonna go eat, but you can meet us at my house at eight,” I said.
“Great. You won’t regret this,” Mallory said.
Archie, Mallory, and I sat on my bedroom floor a little past eight with the bottle of tequila in the middle of us.
Mallory took a swig of tequila, then glanced at me. “I want a real answer about why you never pursued something with me.”
“Some people are only meant to be friends,” I said.
“But you’re bisexual,” Mallory said.
“That doesn’t mean I wanna sleep with everyone,” I said.
Archie let out a loud laugh yet didn’t say anything. Instead, his face turned bright red.
“What’s so funny? I asked.
“You’re gonna have to kiss Mallory to shut her up,” Archie said.
“That’s a terrible idea.” I yanked the tequila bottle away from Mallory and took a more than generous swig of it.
Mallory giggled. “It’s perfect. If you kiss me and honestly don’t feel anything for me, then I’ll never mention the issue again.”
My heart almost leapt out of my chest. Getting answers about Tommy shouldn’t have meant pimping myself out, yet I didn’t have a choice. Not when I had to do whatever it took to keep Mallory happy. And if she promised never to mention rejecting me again, then that was also a bonus.
I cocked my head. “You’re okay with this?”
“I’m all about love,” Archie said. “I also need to be honest with you two—I care about both of you.”
Whether the tequila caused Archie’s bluntness didn’t matter. He couldn’t take back what he just said, so I’d once again just have to live with something.
Mallory winked. “What are you waiting for, Chad? It’s about time you showed me why Archie gets all hot and bothered over you.”
“Fine.” I scooted towards Mallory, and she made the first move. The kiss lasted for a few seconds before we pulled away.
“Well?” Mallory demanded.
I shrugged. “It was a kiss.”
Mallory jabbed my shoulder. “Admit it. You felt something.”
“Fess up,” Archie said, slurring his words.
“Fine. It wasn’t terrible, but that doesn’t mean it should happen again,” I said.
Mallory’s eyes lit up. “You said it shouldn’t, not that you don’t want it to.”
“Drink your tequila,” I said.
Mallory smacked her hands together, and I could only wonder what idea she just concocted. “I know what will make this night more exciting—a threesome.”
“That’s okay,” I said.
“Don’t be so uptight,” Archie said.
I sucked in a breath. “We’ve been drinking.”
“Being drunk doesn’t mean we aren’t attracted to each other,” Mallory said. “Let’s go for it.”
“I’ll pass,” I said, raising my voice.
Mallory eyed Archie. “What do you say?”
“I’m game,” Archie replied. “Now the only question is if you are, Chad?”
Just because Mallory wasn’t ugly didn’t mean I should’ve agreed to her proposition—actions had consequences, and the morning after a threesome would bring all sorts of awkwardness, I might not have been ready for. Yet I still wanted to take Mallory down, and would do whatever it took. Even if I had to sleep with her. It wasn’t like someone put a gun to my head. And I also couldn’t forget about Archie—he seemed keen on this threesome, and I couldn’t lose him.
“Fine. But we are never ever gonna discuss the threesome after tonight,” I said.
AFTER
SUNDAY, MARCH 10, 2019
Archie, Dan, Rebecca, Mallory, and I were in Mallory’s living room a little past four in the afternoon.
