by Mia Kayla
Patty loved my girls like they were her own, and for that, I would be eternally grateful. When Natalie had died, my parents had hired Patty to assist us in helping raise the girls while I was at work. And when my parents had died a few years after, Patty had moved in with us permanently.
My phone vibrated on the table next to my beer, and I watched the light flash with a vendor’s number. My fingers itched to pick it up, but I had promised the girls that I wouldn’t work on this vacation. It was a promise I’d made to myself before we left for Cape Cod. And also one that Brad and Mason were making sure I kept.
Being the CEO of Brisken Printing Corp.—the largest printing company in the nation—I had endless responsibilities, but it wasn’t anything that my brothers couldn’t handle—Mason as CFO and Brad as VP.
I blew out a low breath, and regret settled deep in my gut as I thought of all the time I’d wasted on work before Natalie passed.
I wished we had taken that vacation to Europe that she’d always wanted. I’d promised her we’d go, but work always got in the way. A promise made was a promise kept. But back then, I thought we’d have eternity.
And then she was taken during childbirth, something no one could’ve prepared for. Her labor with Mary had been complicated. Natalie’s blood pressure had been through the roof, and …
I rubbed at my temple, pushing the memories of her lifeless body on the table out of my mind, and I forced my gaze back to my children. My biggest responsibility in life was raising those two lives that God had entrusted me with; therefore, I had to remind myself of that and focus on the present, the now.
When Natalie had died, people always said, “Be strong, for the girls.”
And when a drunk driver had taken my parents a few years later, they would repeat their guiding words. “Be strong, for your brothers. You are the oldest. The CEO.”
And I was.
I had been.
The only way I knew how to survive was just to push through.
So many people depended on me. Not only my girls and the family, but also the thousands of employees at Brisken. I had a duty to maintain with everyone. The reality of it all was that I just dealt. I didn’t get bogged down with the details because if I thought about all the responsibility set on my shoulders, it’d stress me out.
Mary sauntered over with the biggest pout, and I couldn’t help but smile. She was so sweet, really feisty, and mischievous as hell. But she owned my heart.
“Daddy! Sarah put sand in my butt,” she relayed, disgruntled. “Now, I have it in my swimsuit. I bet I’ll fart sand later.” She crossed her arms over her chest.
In one big swoop, I pulled her close. “If I saw correctly, you doused her with water when she was playing quietly and minding her own business.”
Her eyebrows pulled together, and right then, she looked like her mother—the blonde in her hair, the blue in her eyes.
Another pang. Harder this time.
My smile faltered but just a tad as she started making up more excuses.
“It was only a tiny sprinkle of water. Not that much. And it’s only because she didn’t want to play with me.”
I touched a finger to her nose. “Do you want Daddy to play with you?”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” She bounced on my knee and then hopped off. “Come chase me.”
“How about I give you a head start?” I stood and rubbed my hands together for exaggerated effect, and then she took off into Patty’s hands, who caught her mid-flight.
“Nana!”
“One second while I talk to your dad.”
“No!” Mary complained.
Patty put her hands on her hips and gave Mary her no-nonsense look. “Mary Katherine Brisken.”
Those three words had my baby cowering and pushing out her lip.
I couldn’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to be in trouble with Patty either.
“One second, okay?” Patty tipped Mary’s chin with her forefinger and kissed her head. “And you play nice with your sister.”
“Okay, Nana,” Mary replied begrudgingly.
When Mary stalked toward Sarah’s sand castle, Patty approached and sat down in the beach chair next to mine.
“Charles, how’s it going so far? How’s the search?” Concern was heavy in her eyes.
I exhaled deeply and rolled the beer bottle back and forth between my fingertips. “It could be going better. I’m sure this search has given Mason a few premature grays.”
She laughed.
“How’s your mother doing anyway?” I asked.
I knew how stressed out Patty was with her mother’s health, and my brothers and I tried everything we could to make sure she took the time she needed to go home to Florida and be with her mother by adjusting my brothers’ and my schedules.
“Well, I’m surprised she’s lasted this long, but being ninety and still kicking is a pretty good sign. She’s doing better since her stroke, but she’s aging.” The light in Patty’s eyes dimmed.
“Patty, I’m sorry.”
“She doesn’t have that much time left, Charles.” Her voice was soft, fragile even.
“I know.”
I’d lost both parents, so I knew the feeling. I’d mastered losing people. What I hadn’t mastered was the pain. I was so used to losing people that I couldn’t afford to lose any more. It had taken me years to stop putting Mary and Sarah in my own little self-made bubble, to stop going to every single playdate, to stop watching them fall asleep.
I took another long pull of my beer and focused on the waves rushing to the shore. That was much better than looking into Patty’s sorrowful eyes, which mirrored my heartache.
“I’m going to take care of her,” Patty said with a nod and a little more sadness since I knew she was going to miss the girls.
I nodded. “I just wish you weren’t leaving.”
Day by day, the hope that we would find someone as capable as Patty was dwindling and turning into desperation. In the moment of silence that spanned between us, I relived the nightmare of interviews that we’d already gone through—the hippie chick who had shown us all her herbs to treat the kids’ ailments and the drill sergeant who had told us her ways of disciplining the children, which I was pretty sure were all illegal.
Damn it. A worry threatened to choke me, and panic filled my insides. We were never going to find someone capable.
I cleared my throat. “What if we moved her here? Your mom.”
I’d suggested this earlier to Patty, but she’d shut me down.
“It’s not possible. I have to go back.” Her voice was resolute, her words final.
My breathing sped up as though I’d been knocked in the face with the bottle, but really, it was her words. “It is possible though. I have the means to make it happen.”
If tears could compel this woman to stay, I would force tears down my face like a little baby, but I had no idea how to even cry. My body had been built to keep myself intact, my emotions in check.
“I have no idea how to raise these girls alone.” My body shot up from the seat, and I paced the short distance in front of my chair. “I can’t do this without you. What does she need? Let us set Eleanor up here. I’ll pay for all medical expenses, living expenses. All of it.”
“Charles Emmanuel Brisken.” She used the exact tone she’d used on Mary only moments ago. She patted the seat that I had evacuated. “Sit down.”
My breathing quickened, as though I’d run a race, though I was standing perfectly still. “Patty, you can’t leave us.” I blew out a breath.
I had my brothers, but it was different. I didn’t trust many people with my girls, but I trusted Patty. My brothers and I knew her. The girls knew her. Above that, we all loved her.
“Charles, please take a seat,” she said patiently.
I fell to my seat, but I wasn’t ready to admit defeat.
Her jaw tightened, and she angled her knees parallel to mine. “I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. It hasn’t been eas
y, but she doesn’t have that long, and it isn’t right that someone else is taking care of her. She’ll be transferred to a nursing home that has care round the clock, and I’ll be there with her every day.”
“Move Eleanor here.” Desperation was heavy in my tone. I couldn’t help it. “We have a ton of room. You want privacy? I’ll build you another wing. Forget the nursing home. I’ll hire in-home care.” I rubbed at my temple, the panic rising to my throat, threatening to choke me.
“Charles, I can’t uproot her from Florida.”
“Patty …” I was six-two, stocky like a football player, and the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. I didn’t beg. Begging was not in my vocabulary, but now was a whole different story. “I’ll triple your salary.”
Patty gave me a look, one of those stern looks that she only gave the children. “You know you pay me more than enough. It’s not about the money. I have to do this.”
And as I stared into her eyes that held so much wisdom, I knew she had already made her decision. There was nothing I could say or do to change her mind. In the deepest part of me, even though I didn’t want to see it, I knew it was the right decision for her—to take care of her family—because that was the decision I would make.
I dropped my head and ran both hands through my hair. “I … I can’t possibly do this alone.” I breathed deeply through my nose and exhaled a shaky breath, my whole body trembling now. “I just … can’t.”
“Look at me,” she said harshly.
Instead, I closed my eyes tightly because in about two more seconds, I was about to lose it.
Our life was stable now. We’d had years of instability because tragedy hit us year after year, but now … things had finally subsided, evened out. Routines had been established. This would be another blow, another hiccup to the girls’ everyday lives, to my everyday life, to all of our normal.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d broken down. One of my greatest strengths was to keep my composure in the hardest of times because so many people depended on me. But today, as time dwindled down and Patty’s end date with us quickly approached, I panicked.
Leading a multimillion-dollar company did not make me nervous. But this—raising my girls by myself—made me so nervous that I wanted to throw up. Maybe if I’d had boys, I could have managed, but girls? I exhaled a shaky breath. What did three men know about raising girls?
“Charles …” She knocked on the table. “I’m waiting.”
I lifted my head to see Patty smiling at me.
“I’m glad you’re laughing at my misfortune.”
“If I thought for one second”—she pursed her lips—“that you weren’t capable, I wouldn’t leave you. I wanted to leave a year ago when my mother really got sick, but I couldn’t then, and you know why.”
“And I appreciate it, Patty.” I searched the heavens for some sort of sign from my angel.
God, did I miss her. Especially in moments like this.
“You know Natalie would be proud of you. You know that, don’t you? To do all of this by yourself and raise those beautiful girls.”
I sank into my chair, and my eyebrows pulled together. “That’s the thing. I’m not doing this by myself. You’ve been assisting me throughout it all. Since Natalie passed away, since my parents hired you on, you’ve been there.”
With one more attempt at making Patty stay, I picked up my beer bottle, dipped my finger in the bottle, and applied it to the bottom of my eyes. “I’m crying here, begging you to stay.”
I turned to face her, and she covered her mouth in laughter.
“Your desperation is showing now, Charles. You’re cracking jokes.”
My eyebrows pulled together. “I crack jokes.” Didn’t I? Maybe I wasn’t the best at it. I needed to get a joke book.
Sixty years of wisdom pushed through her eyes. “Charles, you’ll be fine for one reason alone. You love those little angels with all your heart, and you only want the best for them.”
I nodded, the panic still making things fuzzy. That was the truth I knew and lived by—wanting the best for my children.
I glanced at my daughters fighting in the sand. Mary had toppled over Sarah and was burying her.
My eyes met Patty’s, and we both laughed.
“Did you say angels?”
Her smile stretched across her face. “Yes, most definitely. Angels when they are asleep.”
When she let out a deep chuckle, I slumped against the beach chair and ran one hand down my face. I’d miss this lady, not only because I needed her to help with the girls, but also because she reminded me so much of the mother that I had lost.
“Patty, don’t go.” It was my last desperate plea, but I knew it was all for nothing.
She needed to do what was best for her family. Out of everyone, I understood that the most.
“Don’t worry, Charles,” she urged with empathy. She sat back and sighed, and then she eyed me for a minute, finally saying, “I think I have someone who can fill the spot. Someone I would trust with the girls, someone I would trust with my life.”
My back straightened in the chair because this was the first time Patty had mentioned it—a direct referral.
“Who is it?” I asked with wide eyes, wondering why she’d been holding out on me all this time.
Patty’s smile widened. “I’ll give you more information once I talk to her. If she says yes, then I have no doubt you and the girls will be in good hands.”
That ugly panic finally started to subside. “Can I bribe this person with a new car? Higher pay she can’t refuse? A vacation to Fiji once a year?” I laughed, only half-kidding.
The humor vanished from Patty’s features. “It’s not like that, Charles. Money will not be the determining factor in this person’s decision in taking the job. And if by chance she decides to take the position, there will be a slew of stipulations that is attached with her coming on board.” She patted my leg. “But we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”
I frowned at her. Stipulations? I wondered what they could possibly be.
Chapter 3
Becky
I rubbed at my throat, swallowing air because I could. Because I remembered a time when I couldn’t. Where darkness surrounded me and I couldn’t breathe.
My eyes shut, and I gritted my teeth.
I pushed those memories back down, to a place I refused to revisit—my past.
That’s not my life anymore.
A movie on the television had triggered the memory. It was a movie that Eleanor, the ninety-year-old woman I was taking care of, had wanted to watch. Eventually, she had fallen asleep, but I hadn’t turned off the television.
I didn’t like violent movies because it hit too close to home. I couldn’t avoid the memories in my nightmares, but I had a choice to avoid them now.
I inhaled deeply and forced myself to the present. Automatically, I stood and paced the room, back and forth and back and forth again, watching Eleanor sleep. Her bed was situated in the great room by the kitchen, so I’d have everything I needed to watch her. Her lips were slightly ajar, and she seemed peaceful in her slumber, forcing the corner of my mouth to tip upward.
I walked toward her bed and pulled the covers over her arms, my fingertips lightly brushing against her skin. My heart ached as I noted her deterioration. She’d always been independent since I’d met her but not in the past few months.
She could sit up but couldn’t eat by herself anymore. I had to spoon-feed her. But her mind was alert. It was in her nonverbal cues that told me she was okay, her little smiles and the evident frown and the tip of her chin when she was being stubborn—and ninety-year-old Eleanor was more stubborn than a child.
There was no denying her body was ailing. She was unable to get out of bed nowadays, and Patty, her daughter, had made the hardest decision. She’d be transferred to a nursing facility, which had round-the-clock care available for her. Currently I was at their home caring for her.
I had done ever
ything in my ability to keep Eleanor comfortable here. I didn’t mind changing her and giving her the meds. But ultimately, Patty was leaving her nannying job because she wanted to spend whatever time her mother had left on this earth with her.
And I got that because they were close.
Eleanor and Patty were the family I’d never really had. This never felt like a job because from day one, Patty had invited me to eat with her and filled me in on her childhood, on how Eleanor was the best and most patient mom.
She’d told me how her parents had fallen in love—a love made for romance books, a love that was everlasting, a love that I’d never known.
Patty’s stories were what I craved because I’d had an untraditional childhood. I’d never met my father, and my mother had been in and out of jail. I’d been sent to foster care, where I bounced in and out of homes until I was fifteen. Then, I’d run away, and I’d been fending for myself ever since.
So, this—this life I’d built with the people I cared for—was my family.
The doorknob shaking had me jumping up to a standing position and my heartbeat picking up in speed.
All my muscles tensed. My anxiety spiked, and my heartbeat pounded in my ears.
But then Patty walked in, pulling her suitcase behind her.
I let out a long sigh of relief.
When would my nerves ease up?
When would my life get back to normal?
Never, the tiny voice said.
Because since I had been born, my life had been anything but normal.
“Hey.” My heart rate stabilized as I assisted her, taking a bag from her shoulder. “I wasn’t expecting you this weekend.”
“Yeah, Charles gave me the weekend off to settle things.”
I made my way to the living room, following her in through the small two-bedroom ranch.
“I hope it won’t be too long, Becky. They are looking for my replacement, but you know their love for the girls is endless, so they want to find the perfect match.”
I smiled. I lived through Patty’s stories when she came home. About the family she cared for. I felt like I already knew them sometimes. As I didn’t have a family of my own, it was refreshing to hear her stories about her sweet Mary and Sarah.
