by Lucy Connell
I nod and she links her arm through mine, leading us to the escalator. Even though everything is awful right now, I feel that little bit better seeing Nina and am so grateful for her. How could I ever have grown apart from my twin, the one person by my side no matter what?
‘I’ve made things worse for you and Chase, haven’t I?’ I say as we walk down a quiet street off the busy road. ‘That’s why you had the panic attack. Are you OK?’
She nods, holding open the cafe door for me. ‘Yes, thanks to you talking me through it.’
While I go to the bathroom to wash my face and redo my make-up, Nina orders two hot chocolates at the counter and then we find a nice, quiet table in the corner, away from the window.
‘I’m so sorry, Nina,’ I say, holding the warm mug in my hands. ‘I’ve ruined everything.’
‘No, you haven’t.’
‘Layla took my phone and she saw that video. I did try to get my phone back from her, but she and Sophie wouldn’t let me. She sent it to herself without me knowing and then when we spoke on the phone she must have overheard everything. I swear, I didn’t write those stories. I’ve asked her to take them down but she won’t, and now it’s too late. I’m so sorry, Nina. You had a horrible panic attack because of me.’
‘No, it wasn’t you. It was a buildup of everything. And, anyway, if anyone needs to apologize, it’s me.’ She takes a deep breath. ‘I just saw Dad and it turns out that he’s exactly the person you thought he was. I have been so wrong about him.’
I stare at her. ‘What happened?’
‘He’s not interested in being our dad. Only interested in being the dad of a famous pop star.’
‘Oh.’ I take a sip of my hot chocolate and place the mug down on the table. ‘Are you OK?’
‘I think so. You?’
I take a moment to think about my answer. ‘I guess I didn’t have the chance to really connect with him again. I’m disappointed he has met my expectations, but I let him go a long time ago. Still hurts a bit, though. Rejection is never nice, especially not from your own dad. It made it worse that he wanted you but not me.’
‘I let myself get caught up in the idea of him being around again at the cost of your feelings,’ she says, shutting her eyes in anger at herself. ‘I was so naive. You must think I’m such an idiot.’
‘I don’t think that. It makes sense that he’d be more interested in you than me. You’re the interesting one with the big, bright future.’
‘Nancy,’ she begins, looking me straight in the eye, ‘I’m really sorry that I didn’t push for him to make an effort with you, too. It must have been so hurtful and he never should have made you feel like that, and neither should I. If it makes you feel any better, I’m never going to let him into our lives again. Not that I imagine he’ll try that hard. I can’t believe he came back just for the fame and the idea of making more money.’ She shakes her head. ‘I got him so wrong.’
‘We don’t need him,’ I say quietly but firmly. ‘We never did.’
‘I know that now.’
‘And Chase?’ I say, watching her carefully. ‘What’s going on with him?’
Her forehead creases and I know she’s trying her best not to cry.
‘He’s very upset about everything.’
‘It’s all my fault,’ I say desperately. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll tell him that you didn’t do anything. I’ll explain what happened and when he knows everything, he’ll realize that none of this is because of you. He can be angry at me instead.’
‘It’s not only this, though,’ she explains. ‘It’s everything. Tension has been building for a while and maybe this was the excuse he needed to end things.’
‘I don’t believe that,’ I tell her. ‘And I don’t think you do either.’
‘We’ll see.’
‘Nina?’
A tall woman with jet-black hair sleeked back into a ponytail and incredible bone structure comes over to our table holding a take-away coffee cup. Everything about her screams authority, even the way she holds herself. I hope I have this exact vibe some day. Nina instantly straightens up and blushes.
‘Hi,’ Nina squeaks. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m good, thank you. I’ve just come from a meeting.’ She looks over at me. ‘You must be Nina’s twin sister.’
‘Um, yes, sorry,’ Nina says, stumbling over her words. ‘This is Nancy. Nancy, this is Caroline Morreau; she’s the director of music at Guildhall.’
‘It’s nice to meet you,’ I say, shaking her hand.
‘And you. I’ve seen your website. It’s very good.’
I glance at Nina, assuming she must have told Caroline about All That Glitters for her to know about it, but from her expression I can see she had no idea.
‘My daughter is a big fan of Tyler Hill,’ Caroline explains, noting our surprise. ‘She showed me the exclusive piece you wrote about her fashion line. When I realized it was written by Nina’s twin sister, I was intrigued by your other music posts. It’s nice to meet an aspiring music journalist.’
I drop my eyes to the floor. ‘Actually, after someone posted under my name this morning, I won’t be writing about music ever again. No one will take me seriously as a music journalist any more.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ she says, watching me curiously. ‘The piece under your name about how music makes you feel was very beautiful and poignant. Not easy to write either. I take it you were actually the author of that piece?’
I nod. ‘Yes, that one was me. You liked it?’
‘I did. You clearly have a talent for writing about music. It’s a shame you’re giving up. I was hoping to see more posts along those lines or perhaps invite you to write about some of the goings-on at Guildhall. It’s always good to find someone who really gets it. Oh well, never mind.’ She checks her watch. ‘Ah, I better be getting back. I’ve got plenty of paperwork to do that will keep me from sitting in on your group rehearsal, Nina. Something I expect you’ll be leaving for any minute, so as not to be late?’
‘Yes.’ Nina nods, blushing. ‘Straight away.’
‘I’m pleased to see your time-keeping has improved. Nice to meet you, Nancy.’
When she walks out, Nina’s shoulders visibly relax.
‘Caroline seems nice,’ I say, watching her go.
‘Yeah, if you’re not one of her students,’ Nina says. ‘I mean, she’s great, but she’s ever so slightly intimidating. I’m sorry I have to leave you to get to rehearsal. I promise as soon as I get out we can talk everything through.’
‘That’s all right – I’ll come to meet you in reception. I’ll find something to do until then.’
She raises her eyebrows at me. ‘Are you going to try to speak to Miles? Once you’ve explained, he’ll understand, I know he will. He’ll just need time.’
‘I don’t know,’ I say into my mug. ‘But I have to keep trying to make things right. Oh, and before you go, when I rushed home this morning to grab my bag before getting the train, Mum asked me to give this to you. Apparently Mr Rogers dropped it off at the shop this morning.’
I reach into my bag and hand her the large, thin envelope Mum had insisted I take with me. She opens it and then breaks into a smile as she pulls out what looks like a few sheets of crumpled paper with a sticky note on the front.
‘What is it?’ I ask.
‘Some sheet music, that’s all,’ she explains, her eyes glistening. ‘Thanks for bringing it.’
She gets up and comes over to give me another hug before telling me she’ll see me in an hour or so after her practice. I wave to her as she walks out of the door, the envelope of sheet music tucked safely under her arm. I finish the last gulp of my hot chocolate, and get my phone out with a fresh wave of determination.
But I don’t call Miles. I know there’s no point. None of the members of Chasing Chords have any interest in speaking to me right now.
Instead I call someone who I know will always pick up his phone, no matter what, no matter how m
uch he dislikes me. Because I know that he’ll want to fix things as much as I do.
Walking into the record store, I’m hit by that same dusty smell that Nina finds so comforting. It’s much bigger than the one on our village high street but I suppose that’s hardly a surprise as this one is in London. I have to walk down a few aisles before I spot him right at the back, his hood up, headphones on. He doesn’t hear me approach him. I tap him on the shoulder and he spins round, scowling when he sees it’s me.
‘What are you doing here?’ Chase says, pulling his headphones down round his neck. ‘How did you find me?’
‘I spoke to Mark. When Nina was in that coma, you gave me his number in case I couldn’t reach you.’
‘Why did he tell you where I was?’ he asks irritably. ‘I said I wanted some time to myself.’
‘He’s worried about you. So, even though he hates my guts right now, he was more than happy to tell me where you’d be in the hope I might persuade you to stop brooding in an old record store and actually go and help him sort out this mess.’
Chase narrows his eyes at me. ‘The mess you caused.’
‘Chase, do you really think I wrote those stories?’
He pushes his hands into his pockets and lifts his eyes to the ceiling.
‘Honestly,’ I continue, when he doesn’t say anything, ‘now that you’ve had some time to really think about it, do you believe I wrote that story about you? And that story about Miles? Do you think I would do that to you and Nina? Do you think I’d go out of my way to destroy whatever it is I had with Miles for the chance of winning a competition?’
He lets out a long sigh and then finally lowers his eyes to meet mine.
‘No,’ he says, his face softening. ‘No, I don’t.’
‘You still have the right to be angry at me, though. I was careless about something very important, and I trusted people I shouldn’t have. So, though I didn’t write those stories, I am really sorry for this whole mess.’
He nods slowly but doesn’t say anything.
‘None of this is Nina’s fault. That’s what I came here to say. She didn’t tell me about your solo career for some gossip or anything like that. She let it slip this morning when she was upset about you arguing, and then it was me who talked about it so loudly that someone overheard who shouldn’t have. You can be mad at me, but please don’t be mad at her. Also, I don’t really know what’s going on between you and Nina right now, but can I give you my opinion on the matter?’
‘Do I have a choice?’
‘No, because I think you need to hear it. It’s important to have an outsider’s point of view every now and then. Also, I don’t care what you musicians say, the answers do not always lie in dusty old record stores.’ I glance around the shop and wrinkle my nose. ‘Speaking of which, did you have to be so predictable and come here to do your brooding?’
He tries to suppress a smile, but he can’t help it. ‘Go on then, Nancy. What is this important opinion of yours?’
‘Don’t focus so much on the future that you mess up everything in the present. That’s what I’m taking from today, and I think you should, too. It’s easy to forget about what’s really important, and then realize too late that you’ve lost it. Pop stars always sing about stuff like that. You would know.’
‘Wise words. I’ll think about it.’
‘Promise me that, whatever else is going on with you two, you’ll forgive Nina for telling me about the solo thing? It really wasn’t her fault. I can’t emphasize that enough. You can trust her. Chase –’ I push for an answer – ‘promise me.’
‘All right,’ he says eventually. ‘I promise.’
‘Thank you. I’ll let you get back on with your brooding over dusty old records now.’
‘Hey,’ he calls after me as I’m walking away. I turn round to face him. ‘What have you lost?’
‘Huh?’ I check I’ve still got my handbag round my shoulder. ‘No, I’ve got everything.’
‘You said that today has taught you that it’s easy to lose something important,’ he says, coming towards me, his piercing blue eyes boring into mine. ‘What is it that you’ve lost?’
I smile sadly at him, my heart sinking as I speak.
‘It’s not what I’ve lost. It’s who I’ve lost.’
He nods in understanding. ‘You know, this is the second time you’ve come looking for me to fight for me and your sister. The last time I didn’t even realize you existed.’
I smile, remembering when I barged into the studio to tell Chase that Nina was in a coma and he needed to come and be at her side right away.
‘It’s funny,’ he continues, ‘you were so determined then, just like you are now. Nothing was going to stop you from getting what you wanted. You weren’t going to leave that studio until I came to the hospital and right now you weren’t going to leave without me promising to forgive Nina for a mistake that you think is your fault.’
‘Yeah, well.’ I shrug. ‘You know me.’
‘I do,’ he says, folding his arms. ‘And that’s why I’m so surprised you’re giving up so easily on the person you think you’ve lost.’
‘There’s nothing I can do, Chase.’ I sigh, wishing that we weren’t talking about this because it makes everything hurt and my eyes well up all over again. ‘I can’t bounce back from this. That story is mortifying, and so personal with the video and everything. He doesn’t want to speak to me; he doesn’t want anything to do with me and with good reason. I wouldn’t want to speak to me if I was in his shoes. He’ll stay mad at me forever. There’s nothing I can do.’
‘Really? Nothing?’ He stares at me as though I’m supposed to be getting something, but my mind is completely blank. ‘Nothing you can do to stop him being mad at you?’
I’m about to tell him no, when something clicks. Suddenly, standing in the middle of that dusty old record store with Chase Hunter watching me with a knowing smile, it dawns on me what I have to do.
Well, this is going to be interesting.
School News Blog: Updated 15:00
WINNER OF THE DISNEY INTERNSHIP COMPETITION ANNOUNCED!
Votes have been counted and I am delighted to announce the winning website of our Disney internship competition: ALL THAT GLITTERS! Congratulations to Layla, Sophie and Nancy, who will all be working hard at the Disney Channel this coming Easter holiday, and congratulations to runner-up Jimmy Morton for his brilliant website, JIMMY’S JOURNAL. Thank you to all who voted and well done to all our finalists for their hard work and fantastic creativity.
Carolyn Coles, Headmistress
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Nina
‘I made cupcakes.’
Mum places a tray down on the sitting-room table, on which there are three mugs of steaming hot chocolate and a plate of pink-iced, sprinkled cupcakes.
‘I was going to get you a congratulations cake, Nancy, like the one you got Nina,’ she continues, passing us our mugs and then sitting in the armchair opposite us on the sofa, ‘but I felt like baking myself. I hope that’s OK! We’re so proud of you for winning the competition. And I’m sorry these are a little late. I should have baked them at the weekend when you were announced as the winner, but with everything that happened, I couldn’t find the time … Well, anyway, congratulations, darling!’
‘We really are so proud of you, Nancy,’ I say cheerily. ‘I knew you could do it. All That Glitters is brilliant, and mostly because of your content.’
Nancy smiles. ‘Thanks. But –’
She looks down at her hands, frowning.
‘What’s wrong?’ Mum asks.
‘I don’t deserve congratulatory cupcakes.’
‘What?’ I laugh. ‘Why not?’
‘It doesn’t feel right!’ She sighs. ‘I don’t know. I didn’t want to win like this. By leaking personal information about people I care about in order to get enough clicks.’
‘But you didn’t leak that information. We know that,’ I say, as Mum nods in agreement
. ‘And you can’t let that take away from all your hard work on the website this term. The rest of your content was really good.’
‘Absolutely,’ Mum says. ‘I think you would have won even if those stories hadn’t been posted. Everyone loved your music posts!’
Nancy attempts a weak smile. ‘Thanks, Mum. And the cupcakes look great.’
As I hold up my mug of hot chocolate to cheers Nancy, Mum takes a deep breath.
‘Girls, I wanted to give you some time and space after such an eventful weekend, you know, to get your heads in order, but, as it’s the middle of the week and we’re all home, I thought this evening would be a good time to talk about your father and everything that happened.’
She takes a moment. Her expression is full of concern and her eyes are glistening with tears that she’s trying to hold back.
‘I wanted to say … I’m so sorry, to both of you,’ she says quietly, shaking her head. ‘I should have protected you from him. I can’t believe what happened outside St Paul’s Cathedral, Nina. The way it all came out. And, Nancy, that he should have treated you so badly –’ she pauses, collecting herself – ‘I shouldn’t have let any of this happen.’
‘Mum,’ I say quickly, unable to bear how upset she is, ‘none of this is your fault at all.’
‘Yeah,’ Nancy agrees. ‘You giving us the choice to have him back in our lives, even after everything he’s done to you, was so brave. Seriously, you are so strong.’
‘I couldn’t agree more,’ I say firmly. ‘And you can’t protect us from everything. We had to see his true colours for ourselves.’
Mum smiles weakly at us. ‘I’m still sorry this happened. He really doesn’t deserve you.’
‘He definitely never deserved you,’ Nancy states.
‘If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me,’ I say, putting my mug back down. ‘I’m the one who got sucked in. I’m the one who wasn’t brave enough to question his motives.’
‘You know what?’ Nancy says, putting a hand on my shoulder. ‘Let’s stop blaming ourselves, shall we? This was all on him.’
