by R. A. Boyd
“I choose you, Zeke.”
“You don’t know me. It’s not that simple.”
She gave a cynical scoff and turned away from him. The sound of her small feet slapping against the concrete of her porch echoed as she paced “It is that simple for me, Zeke,” she yelled. “Yes, I’m a fallen angel but my instincts are shifter now. Have been for millions of years. I know who and what you are to me, and it pains me that you’ve been fighting this. But that’s okay. You don’t feel what I feel. You don’t know what I know. Another fucking point for the Creator who crafted this godforsaken curse to punish us. So for me, Ezeqeel, I know exactly who and what you are and I still don’t give a shit. I don’t know your whole story, but you’re broken. Just like me. And that’s a good thing. You’d never be able to handle someone like me if you couldn’t relate to my damage.”
A wave of nausea blasted through his chest at her admission. He fought everything inside not to lean over and chuck up everything he’d eaten that still resided in his stomach. She knew? She said his name the way it was supposed to be said. The way the Creator made his name to be spoken on the lips of beings on every plane of existence.
“How?” he asked, grabbing hold of his chest to calm the erratic beating of his heart. Like that would do something. “How do you know?”
How could she, a blessed angel of the Lord, bear to look at him? Bear to be near him? He was an abomination.
“No,” he said, backing away from her.
Shame curdled his insides. He could feel her eyes on him, watching him. Pressure built in his head as the wind picked up around them, kicking up dirt and old snow. It started as a low howl whipping through the trees, but quickly grew to the beginnings of a violent wind storm.
He looked up and saw clouds gathering in the waning sunlight, blocking out the very thing he’d been denied for centuries. The beautiful, life-giving Sun.
Zeke fell to his knees, the cold sting of the frozen ground shocking him. He had to stop. He needed to stop. If he wasn’t careful he would rip this place apart. New Rose, Maryland would be no more, and it would only grow. Only spread.
He slammed his palms against his ears as if that alone would clamp down on the rage, the shame. No one knew. But Audra did, and she still wanted him.
Thunder rumbled and cold bites of rain stung his skin. This was it. He’d held himself in check, kept everything under control for so long, but this woman had done it. Had done what he’d feared. In only such a short amount of time she’d made him let down his guard.
And now, they would all suffer.
Chapter 6
He was falling apart. His name falling from her lips had taken him down. Ezeqeel. She hadn’t meant to do it. She just wanted him to know she was there with him, that nothing he could reveal about himself could push her away.
Zeke had agreed to give her a chance, and she wanted to tell him everything. But she had rushed it. She had to. Neither one of them had the time to take this slow. They had to lay their demons out like a stack of cards to find out where they both stood in this game.
This game?
This shit wasn’t a game. Her mate had the power to rip this entire town to shreds. How could she even think for a moment that this was a game?
Audra walked toward her mate as he kneeled on the ground, conjuring a storm that could bring so much devastation to the people they loved and cared for. To the town they’d loved and cared for.
Pain, his pain mixed with hers, tumbled around in her head and chest and almost blinded her. But they had to do this. They wouldn’t be able to move forward if they didn’t
She cupped his face in her hands and pulled his gaze to hers. His eyes burned bright like the sun. Power surged through is body. “Ezeqeel,” she said, forcing him to look at her. “I know you.”
The voices of her brothers and sisters floated to her from the main hall, but she dare not take her eyes off her mate. He needed to know that she was here with him. Audra could feel his longing for her pulsing from his body. She wasn’t the only one in need. He needed her, too.
Audra let one hand drift from Zeke’s face as she held out a hand to Jax and Damon, telling them to stay where they were. She had to do this on her own.
She touched Zeke’s face again and lowered herself to him, letting her lips skate along the skin of his eyelids. The heat and need he felt for her soaked into her skin, covering her in all his emotions.
“Stop,” she said. She kissed his nose and then brushed her smile against his frown. A low snarl worked its way up her throat, and when she spoke her voice was a blend of hers and her beast. “I’m here. Don’t run from me.”
He wouldn’t meet her gaze. His features trembled with power, and the only thought she had to make this right was to kiss him. Slowly, she lowered her lips to his and he stilled beneath her feather-like kisses. She would wake him from this nightmare that he’d built for himself. He’d been holding so much inside for so long. She could feel it, all of what he had tried so hard to hold on to, leaking from the prison of his shackled emotions.
With a tortured moan Zeke wrapped his arms around Audra’s waist and opened his mouth, allowing her deeper access. He responded when she brushed her tongue along his and dug his fingers into her sides. He was holding her so tight it almost hurt, but it let her know that she knew she was alive and that he was giving in. Letting her in.
The winds calmed and the rain began to dissipate. The reddened post-storm sky began to lighten to the early blue of the evening. That storm was Zeke. Who he was on the inside. How had he managed to keep it all in without dying a little inside every day? Maybe he had.
She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. That cool whiskey brown color was back, and they glistened with falling tears.
“Come on,” she said, taking his hands and pulling him to stand with her. “Let’s go inside. I think we both need a nap.”
They hadn’t said much since they came in. Audra went and took a shower in her upstairs bathroom and Zeke showered in her downstairs guest bathroom. From the warm citrus scent of her brother, Audra could tell that Jace had been nice enough to bring in dinner for them along with Zeke’s overnight bag. It sat opened up on the floor of her living room.
Secretly, Audra wished she would have come downstairs a few minutes earlier just so she could watch Zeke walk from the guest room in a towel to retrieve his bag. The swishing sound of a door opening pulled Audra from her naughty thoughts, and when she looked up Zeke walked toward her from the room.
His hair was wet. It looked darker now as it pointed everywhere but the way he was trying to flatten it. He was palming his hair and pulling his shirt down at the same time. Audra caught an eyeful of a strip of skin right above his dark blue sweat pants.
A light dusting of dark hair ran from his navel down into his pants, and cheese have mercy he had that sexy Adonis belt. Those beautiful bands of muscle that ran along his hips and down into his pants. Those were the nice muscles on men that made women forget how to behave.
“Keep looking at me like that, mate, and you’re going to get yourself into trouble,” he said, hunger flashing in his eyes.
The scent of his hormones kicking up a notch drove her to distraction. He wanted her. She could see it in the dilation of his pupils and in the way his eyes kept darting to her lips. For good measure she bit her bottom lip and swept her tongue along the same spot.
She looked down at herself and realized how easy it would be to give up the goods if he came knocking. Since, at least for the moment, she was going to get to stay in her house and not sleep in some anger-leeching room somewhere at the coven, she wore her favorite night gown. It was purple and covered in pictures of classic books and coffee cups. Her most comfy, fuzzy orange and purple socks with tassels on the heels topped off her sexy nightwear. This may not be the normal get-up that drove men crazy for her lady bits, but Zeke was watching her like it was the spiciest thing he’d ever seen on a woman.
“Careful, Zeke,” she s
aid, breaking the spell between them.
“No.” He took a few steps toward her and the left side of his lips quirked up in a quick grin. “I don’t think I have to be careful with you.”
“Hell no, you don’t. I may be small in stature but I’m as strong as they come.” She took a step toward him. “And here I was, thinking I had to be careful with you. How wrong was I?”
That made her feel good inside. She didn’t have to be careful, worrying about whether or not she hurt him if she got too rough. A long time ago, she had hurt someone. It was the first time she had been with a man. It was centuries ago but she would remember it always.
She could feel the regret trying to claw its way back into her mind but she pushed it aside and focused on her mate. Audra brought herself back to the present as she watched Zeke. His gaze was predatory as he stood there, watching her. Watching.
As if he could hear the words ringing through her head, his sexy stance faltered and he said, “How did you know?”
She closed her eyes at the loss of the sensual connection between them. She wanted him, and she could feel his need for her too. It had been decades since she had sex. Beastie chiming in and letting her feelings be known while Audra tried to reach orgasm was a killjoy.
“A few things,” Audra said, turning to grab two glasses from the cabinet and filling them with water. “Your tattoo behind your ear. It’s just like the charm I found for the one who would be my mate. I didn’t make the connection until I saw it on you.”
“Impossible,” he said, grabbing the two plates full of food left on the counter and putting one into the microwave. “That doesn’t even make since. Are you psychic?”
The astonishment on his face made her laugh. “No, I’m not. You didn’t let me finish. I’ve met members of the coven before and they all have a tattoo behind their ear of what kind of capacity they served in Heaven. Warriors have a bow with a sword through it, messenger angels and those who sang praise of creation have music notes behind their ear. Like Willow. But I’ve never seen any member of the Fallen coven with a star with wings. That symbol translates to Ezeqeel or Cloud of God. Shooting Star of God. And only one angel has ever been called that. You taught humans how to read the sky, predict the weather. Summon changes in the weather.”
Embarrassment darkened his features and he wouldn’t meet her gaze. “I don’t—”
“You were a Watcher angel, charged with watching over humanity to give them gentle pushes to advancement. Zeke,” she said, stepping closer and looking up into his eyes. She wouldn’t let him hide from her. She ran a finger along the leather of his necklace until she traced the star and wings. His skin was hot beneath her touch. “How did you escape?”
There were two hundred Watcher angels charged with keeping an eye on humanity, but they threw their jobs away and taught the people everything they knew. And they lusted after the daughters of men. The daughters of Eve. The Watchers were the fathers of the Nephilim. And the Nephilim were the reason for the Great Flood. The Creator had to wipe the Nephilim from the face of the Earth, lest they try to rule over God’s creation. And no one did that but God the Creator alone.
Zeke took Audra’s hand into his and pulled it to his cheek. He pushed his face into her palm, almost demanding that she caress him. She did and she could tell that her comfort had eased him. It eased her too. Shifters needed touch. The thought of him picking up on her habits through their bond made her smile. They were growing closer.
“Our children were reckless giants who caused war and destruction. Many of us stopped touching the human women that came to us when we saw what we’d done, but so many more kept… allowing themselves to give in to the lust and continue to have children.” He closed his eyes and his eyelids twitched as if watching the scene play out before him again. “They were horrible, every single one of them. They pretended to be gods, forcing humans to praise and worship them. Killing them if they didn’t.” His stubble rubbed against Audra’s hand and she sighed in satisfaction as he moved his head and kissed her palm. “Every single one of us was gathered, and we were locked away where we were to be imprisoned in the valleys of the Earth until the end of days.”
Audra brought him forward and kissed his chin, loving the prickling feel of his almost beard. “I heard Willow say that to you when we were leaving the hall. I don’t know if it’s my bond with you that helped me hear it, but I heard a little of what she said. She said she would lock you away again if you fell apart.”
That hadn’t sat well with Audra. Listening to Willow threaten her mate made her want to go grab the pretty woman by her pretty hair and toss her around like a dirty tee-shirt being pitched into a laundry basket. Audra’s lip quivered and a growl rolled through her chest at the thought.
“Easy, woman,” Zeke said, running his fingers along her arms. “That little taste of me causing a storm outside was nothing. I’ve leveled entire civilizations with only the thought to do so. If Willow intervenes it’s because she needs to.”
Audra shrugged, still picturing her fingers wound tightly through the woman’s waves as she slung her around. Audra would rip out every single one of those curls and make a weird jacket. She’d wear it every day in honor of kicking the ass of someone who tried to hurt her mate. Maybe she would dye the bottom half blonde? Fuck yeah! That sounded like fun.
Her beast grumbled in her chest, giving some sick form of a laugh. Audra took a deep breath to calm herself. If Beastie was laughing at someone’s pain that meant Audra was about to take things ten steps past too far before she had to.
Zeke laughed and shook his head, his eyes dancing as he watched her. “We really need to work on your temper. Do you want to know why?”
“So I don’t start killing?”
“Well, that too. But most importantly, we need your temper level so that your anger doesn’t infect me. I’m already fighting to stay level, and from what you just said you can feel what I feel. Well, vice versa. Can you imagine what would happen if I started channeling your rage?”
A shit show of epic proportions.
She thought for a moment, imagining what his small breakdown would have been like if Beastie was in control. She let out a long breath and shook her head, hating the feel of victory Beastie was holding. She’d been silent, but Audra could still sense her there.
“We can’t let that happen, Zeke. Fuck a duck, maybe I do need to be put down until I’m better. You and I,” she said, pointing between the two of them, “are fucking awesome together. I can see it. But it sounds like we’re also really, really destructive.”
That would never come to pass, not if Audra had any say in it. She’d take one for the home team and take a quarter century nap.
“No,” Zeke said, pulling Audra from her thoughts. “I… I don’t want to lose you. We just found each other and I know I fought it at first but, Audra, I’m in this now. We can do this together. Despite what I did earlier you make me feel balanced. You make me feel. I’ve been fighting feeling anything for so long.”
Natural Woman by Aretha Franklin started playing in her head. She had to fight the urge to dance.
“Then we have work to do, Zeke. Me and you.” She took one plate out of the microwave and put in the other as Zeke looked through her kitchen drawers searching for utensils. By the third drawer filled with batteries and rubber bands he looked like he wanted to punch a hole through a wall. She pointed to the one next to the refrigerator to put him out of his misery. And to save her walls. “You didn’t answer my other question. How did you escape?”
He pulled out two forks, two knives, and ripped a few paper towels from the holder on the counter. “I didn’t. I was released.”
Zeke opened the microwave and took out the warmed plate. He grabbed the other and motioned Audra to follow him to the breakfast nook. With both glasses of water in hand, Audra slid into the bench seating and smiled when he came in after her. He could have sat across from her so they could look at each other while they talked, but here he was w
ith his hip pressed closely to hers.
“This smells fucking delicious,” he said, scooping up a forkful of mashed potatoes and dipping it in the gravy of the roast.
Audra almost moaned as she watched his tongue slide out from between his lips to taste the gravy. He made a small sound of approval and then wrapped his lips around the tip of the fork. He held it there for a moment, eyes closed as he reveled in the savory food.
Eyes only for Zeke, Audra swallowed thickly and forgot about her plate. Watching him eat was sinful.
With a quick glance he looked over at her and smiled. “I’m sorry. I haven’t had a home cooked meal in a long time.”
“Why? Your coven don’t gather and eat together?” She used her fingers to pick up a Brussel sprout and popped it into her mouth.
He shrugged and reached for his glass. “Not too often. I’m the outcast of the coven. Many of them still believe I should be locked away.”
“Fuck them,” she said. She tried to focus on the smoky flavor of the Brussel sprouts to take her mind off of his coven. If she didn’t shift her thoughts she would wind up hunting them down. “If you were still supposed to be in prison you would be. You were released for a reason.”
He took another pull from his glass. “Yeah. They still see me as a traitor. And the way I got out was… unexpected. I was used to the dark. It was always so dark. The only light that shown was the light that emanated from the angels. From me. That light began to dim over time.” He flexed his fingers as if gathering the strength to tell her what he’d been through. “We were all locked in cells, much like the one you were in. A bed. A chair and a table. We had nothing to do but talk, but that stopped so long ago. Most cursed the name of the Creator, cursed the existence of humans. Mad rantings of beings who had nothing to do but wait. Wait for the end. But I didn’t.”
“You weren’t angry?”
Zeke belted out a bitter laugh so loud it shook her chest. “I was fucking furious. In the beginning. But as time went on I began to see what we did was wrong. We were supposed to let man develop on their own, only showing them what they were capable of. Instead we taught them divination, how to make weapons, how to read the signs of the stars. These were things they should have learned on their own. Our forceful shove into the unknown was enough to drive them to their own ruination. They weren’t ready. It’s like giving a child the unconditional freedom to do whatever they wanted. Children need boundaries. They need to grow and learn. So did man.”
