“Does Camila know we’re not really together?”
She shakes her head. “I told her we’re dating, but that it was new. I thought it would be easier until I could explain in person.”
I mull that over. Is it easier or is she just really going the extra mile to sell this to everyone in her life?
“If you want me to tell her now, say the word. If anyone would understand, it’s Cam. She’s always had my back. She’s one of the few friends who didn’t magically disappear when things went down.”
“Up to you, princess. I’m glad you have her though. Friends like that are hard to come by.”
“Speaking of friends, I was thinking maybe we should tell yours, too. At least Gabby and Joel.”
“Definitely not Joel, he’s got a big ass mouth.”
She laughs. “Okay, but Gabby. I felt really awful lying to her. I can tell how much she cares about you.”
“Yeah.” The reasons I haven’t told Gabby have more to do with me than Chloe. I guess I’m still hoping this thing will turn into something real before our fake relationship is over. I can’t shake her. Even distancing myself and loads of porn hasn’t helped. “I’ll think on it.”
We hang out at Camila’s place for the evening, and she invites over a hand full of people—most of which know Chloe. I stand by her side and am introduced as the boyfriend. Not a bad gig, really, and it feels awesome to be out of Valley. I rarely get to leave with the team schedule and the expense of flying.
“I’m gonna grab another drink,” I say when I notice her cup is empty. “Want something?”
“Thank you.” I know she means for more than the drink.
Wandering inside, I fill our cups and linger a moment before heading back to the deck where everyone is hanging out. I think I expected it to be lavish and over the top, but it looks like any other college apartment—mismatched furniture, minimal wall hangings, and more plastic cups than dishes. The location is pretty sick, though—only a mile or so from the beach.
Camila enters and slaps her empty cup on the counter, grabs the rum and Diet Coke, and fills it up. “It’s good to see Chloe so happy. I’ve been worried about her.”
I smile and nod, my go-to when I don’t know what the fuck to say. Chloe is happier than I’ve seen her, but I’m almost certain that’s due to Camila, not me.
“Guess I have you to thank for that.” Camila lifts her cup, and I clink mine against hers.
We cheers and drink before I say, “I didn’t do anything. She’s a tough chick.”
Camila lets out a long breath. “You didn’t see her two months ago.”
“That bad?” I equal parts want to know and don’t. The latter feels like an invasion of her privacy on some level.
“She couldn’t go anywhere. Team turned their backs on her, some of our friends. And don’t get me started on her parents. They’re completely clueless about who Chloe is and what she wants. They threw more money at the problem to convince Golden to take her back.”
“Chloe’s coming back to California?” I don’t like the tight feeling in my chest at the thought of her leaving Valley to come back to a place where she was made to feel unwanted. Or the idea of her leaving me.
“She didn’t tell you?” She nods at my blank stare. “I’m not surprised. She still worries everyone is going to blame her for things she has no control over.”
“But she’s not coming back, right?”
She shrugs. “I doubt it. We’ve filled her spot on the team, so she’d have to give up volleyball—the one thing that keeps her sane.” She smiles. “Well, one of the two things that keep her sane, now that she has you.”
The next morning, I’m up with the sun. Sleeping next to Chloe all night, or not sleeping as it was, has me agitated and nervous. There’s no winning when it comes to sleep. I can’t even entertain the possibility that I might have a nightmare in front of her. Talk about a fucking ten on the humiliating scale.
“Morning.” Chloe slips out onto the deck, looking rumpled and mussed and exactly what I wish my girl looked like in the morning. Except she’s not mine—at least not in any way that matters. “Coffee inside.”
“Don’t like coffee,” I say, my voice too deep and hoarse. I clear my throat and turn to rest a hip on the side railing. “What are you doing up so early?”
“I can never sleep in here. Even in high school, I’d wake up early every morning to run on the beach, listen to the waves, or surf. The ocean is my happy place.”
“Surfer Princess,” I say with a grin.
“I was planning on going for a run this morning if you want to come.”
20
Chloe
We drop onto the sand, both panting from the last sprint. Nathan pulled his t-shirt off somewhere around the one-mile mark and tucked it in his waistband. His chest lifts and rises with his breaths, sweat sliding down the cut muscles of his abs.
“Good God, woman. You can go forever.”
Five miles has never felt better. Running next to Nathan… yeah, that’d inspire anyone to push a little harder.
Sitting ten feet from the water, we both stare out into the ocean. The sun is still rising in the sky behind us.
“I love it out here,” I admit. “Reminds me how small and insignificant we all are by comparison.”
When I turn to him, he’s staring at me with stormy blue eyes.
“What?”
He shakes his head. “You just surprise me sometimes is all.”
I stand and brush the sand off my shorts. I’m sweaty and dirty and need a shower in the worst way. “Ready to head back?”
He doesn’t budge but holds his hand up like he wants me to help him up. I grab ahold of him, except when I pull, so does he and I fall to the ground—half on him and half sprawled in the sand.
“Is that a no?” I chuckle and move off him so fast I wonder if I dreamt the burn on my skin from the contact.
Wrapping his arm around me and pulling me back close, his voice reverberates against my back. “May never be ready.”
Nope, definitely didn’t dream the scalding feeling of his skin touching mine because it’s back and lighting my insides on fire.
I stay quiet then, sinking into his hard chest, listening to the ocean and enjoying the gentle lull of his steady breathing. I feel so safe and untouchable like this. I don’t need Nathan to protect me, not here, but the idea that he might want to makes everything else as insignificant as we are to the ocean.
An older couple walks by hand in hand. I’ve seen them before, though it’s been a few months now. They walk the beach together every morning.
Today I notice how they’re smiling at one another and looking more in love than I would have guessed possible at that age. Funny, I never noticed that before. I’d always assumed they were married, but I’d never been able to see the love surrounding them.
“Alright, I guess I’m ready,” Nathan says, sounding like he’d rather eat sand than leave.
“No.” I push harder against his chest to prevent him from moving. “Just a few more minutes.”
“You’re on my team,” Camila says to our friend Jill, who joined us for a day at the beach. Jill is one of the few who didn’t turn on me after the shit last year, but we’re not as close as I am with Cam.
“Seems only fair since I got the best player out here.” Nathan hugs me from behind and kisses the top of my head. Without my teammates, I don’t feel the need to pretend to be anything we’re not so every touch and glance between us makes my heart flutter.
Camila makes a retching sound. “Ugh, you two are going to make my lunch come up.”
She and Jill take their positions on the other side of the net, and Nathan reluctantly lets me go. Or at least that’s what I’d like to think since he inches away slowly, not dropping his fingertips from me until he can’t reach.
Jill serves to my right, and I lunge to save it. Nathan takes his time setting it and I spike it over right between Cam and Jill.
W
e take the point and I move to serve. It’s my favorite part of volleyball, I think because it’s one thing I can control. Once a serve is over the net, it’s all reactionary. Sharp senses and repetition training until the movements happen almost on instinct are key. But serving is all about power and control.
Nathan is a natural and his height is a definite help. We win the first game, and he lifts me up to celebrate. I’m screaming, babbling nonsense mostly, as he runs a lap around the beach. When he can’t carry me any longer, he sets me down and falls to the ground beside me. I lay back, letting the sun kiss my skin, and Nathan’s eyes scan the full length of me.
He takes me by surprise when he covers my body with his and kisses me on the mouth. It’s just a quick, chaste kiss, but I wrap my arms around his neck and demand more.
It’s not until I hear Camila and Jill drop down close to us and he pulls back that I realize him devouring me was for show. At least I think it was. He’s sporting that smirk that does me in every single time, and his eyes are a dark blue that makes me wonder if he’s as keyed up as I am.
I know this is fake, but my libido doesn’t and even if she did, I think she’d tell me to pipe the fuck down and let her have her moment.
“You guys want to go back and get showered and changed for tonight?” Camila asks when Nathan has removed his fabulous body from mine and sits in the sand in front of me.
Nathan looks at me as he answers and his deep voice rakes over me. “Yeah, let’s shower.”
When we get inside our room for the weekend—my old room—I glance at all our stuff tossed around and the mess makes me smile. Sharing space with him makes me insanely happy.
“Today was fun. I’m glad you came,” I say as I pull out the dress I want to wear tonight.
“Me too.”
“I’m going to tell her.” I motion with my head to the door and the general direction of Camila’s room. “I thought about it, and I don’t want to leave here with anything hanging over my head. When I moved to Valley, I was still carrying so much pain from everything, but I’m not anymore. I’m happy.” He shoots me a questioning glance. “I am. I mean, the situation with the team isn’t perfect, but it has nothing to do with Camila and lying to her… well, it just doesn’t feel right. She deserves the truth. She’s stuck with me this long.”
Nathan takes my hand and squeezes. “I’ll be here. Whatever you need.” He clears his throat. “That reminds me. Cam mentioned you might be moving back to California.”
I shake my head. “My parents worked out a deal with the university so I could finish my degree here, but too much has happened. Valley is the clean start I need. My chance to prove that I can make it on my own.”
“I get that,” he says. “That’s how I felt my freshman year when I got to college, but don’t confuse clean start with avoidance.”
I tense at his words.
“Not saying you are,” he adds when I shoot him an insulted look. “But I know what it’s like to try and start with a clean slate… it’s messy and not all that clean.”
I nod, but I can’t seem to shake his words as we get ready for a night out to celebrate Camila’s birthday. I’m still thinking about it as we head to JT’s house. He graduated last year and has an apartment that’s basically on the beach. His parents are better off than mine—both of them doctors with their own medical TV talk show—so he gets my situation more than most.
The party is still small when we arrive and I decide to talk to Cam before more people show up. I introduce Nathan to JT and a few others I vaguely know and then make excuses so I can talk to my bestie.
“I’m going to chat with Cam and then get us drinks. You good?”
Nathan smiles as he nods and falls back into conversation with JT.
I link my arm through Camila’s. “Take a walk on the beach with me, birthday girl.”
She eyes me suspiciously but smiles. “Okay.”
Neither of us speaks as we walk arm in arm. We kick off our shoes and hold them in our free hands.
When my feet hit the wet sand, I breathe in the salty air. “I missed this.”
“You could come back. I’ve always got a room for you.”
I smile at her and lean my head against hers.
“Something tells me you’d miss that fine hunk of male. Nathan’s really great. I’m glad you have him.”
“Actually, that’s why I wanted to talk to you.”
Her brows pull together in confusion.
“I don’t have him. Not how you think.” Saying it out loud makes me realize how much I like him. I want to have him.
I give her the short version of the story. The bullet points. One-night stand, my big mouth claiming him as my boyfriend, and his real reason for helping me… money.
“Do you think I’m just as bad as my parents?” I ask, unlinking our arms so I can look her in the eye.
“Of course not.” Her tone is sincere but something in her expression tells me she’s holding back.
“But?”
“I don’t know if I believe that’s all this is. I’ve seen you two together. You can’t fake that kind of chemistry. Why not just date him for real?”
“I don’t want to get swept up in some guy so soon into the school year. I have to prove to myself that I deserved to be at Golden. I know it probably sounds dumb, but I need to know I could have done it on my own. And that I still can. But the more time I spend with him, the harder it is to not get carried away. And there’s the whole setup. I never know when we’re pretending or when it’s real. He might not even be interested in me if it weren’t for me paying him.” I groan.
“You said he asked for your number after your one night… I’d say he’s interested.”
“He was then, but that was weeks ago, and I’ve shown him a whole lot of crazy since then.”
“Talk to him. Tell him how you feel.”
“What if he doesn’t feel the same and then this whole thing would have been for nothing?”
“That’s another thing. You have to stop trying to win over your teammates by using Nathan.”
“You think I should come clean with them too?” My stomach churns at the thought of Bri’s smug face.
“I do. I get why you did it, but it’s not solely on you to fit in there. You’re an incredible player and a pretty kick-ass person, too. Don’t play their games. You’re too good for that. You’ve never let people push you around, not even when they came down hard on you for your parents’ bullshit. Stand up to them, Chloe. You belong there. Don’t let them make you feel otherwise.”
Her words hit on something I’d been thinking but hadn’t verbalized, and I know she’s right.
“You’re right. I know you’re right. It’s been harder than I expected to start over.”
She nods and hugs me, making me miss her and adding a new sense of determination to be as tough as she thinks I am. “I’ve got your back. If you need me to come to Valley and kick some ass, just say the word.”
“You’d brawl for me?” I ask, thinking of Nathan and stealing his word.
“Hell yes, I would.”
Nathan
“Everything okay? You’ve been quiet tonight.”
Chloe walks just ahead of me to the cross streets where the Uber is supposed to meet us to take us back to Camila’s, her arms wrapped around her waist. “I just forgot how much I loved it here. I miss it and I’m already a little sad about leaving.”
She’s silent again for a minute before she adds, “I told Cam.”
I glance over and raise a brow. “And?”
“She was understanding. Felt good to tell her the truth.” She drops her hands in front of her and fidgets with her fingers. “Speaking of truth, I need to tell you something.”
“What’s that?” I ask, trying to prepare myself for the worst.
She glances back at me, her blonde hair blowing into her face and the blue dress making her body blend in with the darkness. “I like you.”
I chuckle out my r
elief, and my heart skips a fucking beat. “I like you, too.”
Stopping in front of me, she blocks my path. “No, I mean, I like you. The flirting, the touches, the kisses, spending time together—I wanted all of it. And not just because it’s helped with my roommate situation. Volleyball and proving myself is my number one priority, but I’m done pretending this is all for show. At least for me.”
It’s always been easy to be with Chloe. I’ve had to fake very little of our time together. I thought she knew that. I mean, she’s the one who keeps pushing me away. But the thing is, I’ve learned not to question the good. Grab it, swallow it up before the bad crashes in again. So I don’t question it, I just go for it.
I frame her face with both hands and bring my lips to hers. “It was never for show, princess.”
21
Chloe
The next morning, I wake up with a smile on my face. Stretching my arms over my head, I sit up and then jump out of bed to go find Nathan. After a lot of kissing, he pushed me into my room and insisted he sleep on the couch. I’m sure it was supposed to be some gentlemanly move, but I missed him beside me.
He’s on the couch, his long legs over one end and his head propped up on a pillow at the other. He’s got one arm over his eyes and a Golden throw blanket covering his lower half.
My mouth waters at his bare chest, and I press my fingertips to my lips. They’re tender from his bruising kisses and scruffy face, but I’m ready to do it again.
I make coffee and pour myself a cup and him some Gatorade into a mug with the intent of taking them into the living room and maybe snuggling in next to him on the couch, but his gruff voice comes just as I pick up the mugs to take them to the other room.
“Morning.”
I hand him one of the mugs. He glances down at the orange liquid and laughs. “Morning.”
The Fake: A College Sports Romance (Smart Jocks #4) Page 14
