by Kat Mizera
“I just like having easy access for staring into your gorgeous eyes.”
He knew how to push every one of my erotic buttons; being with Ace was heavenly. I loved everything about this man, from his chiseled jaw and strong hands to the muscles bulging in his biceps to the way he looked at me like he wanted to devour me. I’d never thought about a man literally devouring me, but with Ace, that’s how it felt.
“It’s time to call it a night,” Chance said as the song ended and we reluctantly headed back to where we’d been sitting.
“Us too, I think,” Ace said, his arm around my waist. “It’s been a long few days for us.”
“I’ll see you in the gym at seven.”
“See you then.”
Ace kept his arm tightly around me as we descended the stairs and headed back to our room. I kicked off my heels and sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing my sore feet.
“Want a foot massage?” Ace asked, smiling down at me.
“Absolutely.” I scooted back on my bed and presented my foot to him. He sat on the edge of the bed and set it on his lap, using both hands and rubbing his thumbs up the center of my foot. “Oooh.” I leaned back and closed my eyes. This was heavenly. Those damn hands of his were going to be the death of me. He was holding my foot gently now, as if it was the most delicate thing in the world, but his fingers were working magic and goose bumps rose on my flesh. We were both fully dressed but this might have been the most erotic moment of my entire life. He kneaded the ball of my foot with his fist, the pressure just enough to erase an evening of high heels and leave me feeling relaxed and comfortable.
His hand moved up my foot, to the ankle and then to my calf. He rubbed both hands along the skin there, going back to my foot and then up to the calf again. I’d had foot massages before, but not like this, and I barely recognized the longing inside of me. Once upon a time, I’d been an excited virgin anxious to learn what the big deal was about sex. About orgasms. And everything to do with intimacy. Instead, my best orgasms happened by my own hand and there had been no such thing as true intimacy with my husband; he’d never lasted long enough and foreplay was nonexistent.
“You just got stiff as a board,” Ace murmured. “Where did your mind go that took you away from the here and now?”
“To a time when I gave up on my dreams and settled for something spectacularly underwhelming.”
“Your ex.” His voice was strange, as if he was holding back anger, and I opened my eyes, lifting myself to my elbows to look at him.
“Are you mad?”
“Not that you were thinking about him, but that he did whatever he did.”
“He didn’t hurt me, if that’s what you’re thinking. He was just…boring. Staid. And sex was over so damn fast, I never had the chance to enjoy it.”
“Can I ask why you got divorced?” He’d picked up my other foot now and was starting the whole process again, so I laid back again.
“My mother introduced us.” I laughed even though it wasn’t funny. “Which should have been my first clue that we were totally wrong for each other, but I was twenty-five and wanted children, so I started going out with him. It was nice. Nothing earth-shattering, but he was smart, well-traveled, educated and attentive. We went to nice places and did fun things constantly. So the man, who he was beneath the surface, didn’t become apparent until it was too late.”
“Pretty on the outside, ugly on the inside,” he murmured.
“It wasn’t entirely his fault,” I said sadly. “I wanted him to be something he wasn’t. I was fairly quiet and shy when we met, because I was trying to be who my mother told me I should be, so I could find a husband and have the children I wanted so much. I should have let him see who I was much earlier as well, but I didn’t understand what that meant in the context of a relationship.”
“But you are quiet and shy, aren’t you?”
“Shy, yes. Quiet? Not really. Not with people I know. The thing is, he thought I would be the perfect submissive little wife and bow to his every whim. He didn’t realize that shy doesn’t mean easily manipulated or naïve about the world. Naïve about sex? Definitely. But the world? Absolutely not. When he realized I wasn’t going to be what he wanted, he tried to access my trust fund, but I wasn’t willing to let him have a dime. He wanted me to stop working, but I love to teach and wasn’t ready to quit.” I swallowed hard, slightly embarrassed to be telling him about this. “He also wanted threesomes, and while that’s fine if it’s your thing, it’s not mine. Not because it’s bad—everything he proposed actually seemed kind of sexy—but our relationship was already precarious and, frankly, I’m not the kind of woman who could do that, share my husband with other women. Maybe if I’d been sexually active before I got married, I might have tried it with a one-night stand or something. But with my husband? Not a chance in hell.”
“While polyamorous relationships are fine in theory, I don’t think I could do it either,” he said, his hands moving up my calf and squeezing a little harder than before. “But it was unfair of him to spring that on you, especially knowing you were a virgin before you got married.”
“Well, we had sex before we got married, because I didn’t want my wedding night to be painful or messy or any of the stories you hear about your first time.”
“So he knew you were inexperienced and thought he’d be able to mold you into the sexual partner he wanted instead of allowing you to find out what you wanted.” It was more of a statement than a question and I merely nodded.
“I suppose.”
“Of all the things I regret in my life, that might be at the top of my list now. If your first time had been with me, I promise it would have been very, very different.”
I thought I said, “I know,” but I wasn’t sure because I must have drifted off to sleep.
The next time I opened my eyes it was morning, though it was still dark out. I was under the covers, still fully dressed, and I nearly cried with frustration. I’d fallen asleep and he’d been a perfect gentleman. I didn’t expect any less, of course, but this wasn’t fair. I didn’t know how long I’d have him in my life and I wanted him, all of him, all of everything there was to have while we were together. And maybe, if the intensity between us continued to grow, he wouldn’t leave me at all.
Ace was awake, because when I turned over, he was lying on his side with his back to me, but I saw the light from his cell phone and heard him lightly tapping on the screen. Though he was just a couple feet away, since our beds were separate, it felt like miles and I was suddenly sad. As if the distance between us was some kind of metaphor for my life. The loneliness I tried so hard to pretend was okay. The babies I hadn’t had. The emptiness that had become so poignant since I lost my father. Even when my marriage had been unraveling before my eyes, I’d had my father to lean on.
I still had my mother, of course, and though we were closer now than we’d ever been, it wasn’t the same as the bond I’d had with my dad. And now that I’d gotten so close to Ace in such a short time, had him in my life again, he was keeping a distance between us I didn’t understand. I would have gladly made love with him already, but he’d used excuse after excuse and though my heart believed he was being a gentleman, my brain was starting to doubt everything about us being together.
“I waited nearly five years for you to come back.” I kept my voice soft in the darkness but he immediately glanced over his shoulder at me.
“What?” He turned over in the small bed, the muscles in his bare back flexing as he moved.
“I mean, not like, sitting by the phone or anything, but in my heart of hearts, deep down in the part of your soul you don’t let anyone see, I believed you would come back. Your service would be done or you’d retire or something, and you’d show up and tell me you’d been thinking about me the way I’d been thinking about you.”
“Oh, baby. That hurts my heart. You knew I wasn’t coming back. I told you I wasn’t coming back.”
“I know. But my heart, well
, it has a mind of its own, I guess.”
“I’m sorry.”
“The night before my wedding, I couldn’t sleep. I was with my parents, so I went down to my dad’s den and sat there in the big armchair by the fire, wondering how I was going to survive being married to a man I didn’t really love. I liked him at that point, and thought we were going to have a good life, but I wasn’t madly in love with him. I didn’t have the feelings a woman getting married should’ve had.
“Dad came downstairs around three in the morning and found me. He knew I wasn’t happy and said we could cancel if I was having doubts. I said no because I didn’t know what else to say. He asked me what he could do and I asked him if he knew where you were. And just like that, he understood. He knew why I’d asked and said that while he didn’t know where you were, he’d move heaven and earth to find you if I wanted him to.”
I sniffled, mortified that he might hear me cry. He’d moved closer to the edge of my bed and reached out a hand, waiting until I closed my fingers around his.
“And then I felt so stupid,” I whispered. “I mean, you and I danced a few times and you kissed me. Big deal. I felt like an idiot admitting what I was feeling to my father, so I said I was just having last-minute jitters, that I was okay, to forget about it. But Dad knew me better than anyone, and he sat up with me all night, telling me stories about you from when you served with him. Telling me all the wonderful things about you that I didn’t know but somehow sensed anyway.”
“Your dad was a good man.”
“He was the best.” I sniffled again, tears starting to fall no matter how hard I tried to stop them. He slowly slid across the small space between our beds, until he was pressed up against me.
“I thought about you a lot,” he whispered, slipping under the covers so he could wrap his arms around me. “But I couldn’t come back, couldn’t be the kind of man you wanted and needed in your life. Not then.”
“But how could you know what I needed? I didn’t even know what I needed.”
“Well, they say that love is wasted on the young…and this is one of many examples of why they say it.”
“But we weren’t… Aren’t?” My voice was shaky, completely overwhelmed with emotions because I didn’t know what love felt like, but I was getting there.
“No, but whatever happened between us that night ten years ago is definitely special because it’s lasted more than a decade. Feelings like that don’t always have a label, but they should never be ignored.”
“Then why are we sleeping in separate beds and not making up for all that lost time?” I whispered, swiping at my tears and pulling away enough to look at him, despite the darkness.
“Because you mean a lot to me and I don’t want to cheapen it.”
“There wouldn’t be anything cheap about us making love.”
I turned so we were facing each other now, bodies close, eyes locked together. We lay there in the semidarkness not saying a word, just looking at each other. He had one hand on my hip but slowly brought it up my torso until he was cupping the side of my face.
“I want you so much it hurts,” he whispered. “Tell me what you want.”
“You, silly. Being with you like this is like a reward for ten years, seven months and twelve days of dreaming.”
“You’re my reward for nineteen years of sacrifice for my country.” He slowly dragged his lips along my jaw, pausing just before settling on my lips. “And I’m not waiting another second to claim you.”
Chapter Seventeen
Ace
I kissed her with far more passion than I’d ever used before. A whole decade of fantasies came true in that moment, because this was beautifully romantic and excruciatingly sensual. I wanted to rush and slow down all at once, which was confusing as hell. She was still fully dressed and I needed to be skin-on-skin with her immediately because I’d waited way too long for this. For her.
I reached out and slid up her dress, my hands resting on her thighs. “Will this come off by pulling it over your head or does it need to be unzipped?”
“Unzipped, unfortunately.” She sat up, turning her back to me. I unzipped her and stilled her hands when she got ready to take it off herself.
“Let me,” I whispered. “The first time I see you naked needs to be special.”
“Can you actually see me?”
“It’s getting light out. Hang on.” I got off the bed and moved to the windows, opening the curtains. We had a lower level room, so we had short, half-windows, but they let in plenty of light during the day. It was barely dawn now, but it wasn’t pitch-black out either, so I could see her well enough. I turned to her with a smile and held out my hands.
She got to her feet and reached for me.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I whispered. I was shirtless, wearing pajama bottoms I’d picked up specifically for this trip. Normally, I slept nude or in boxers, but I’d needed to be prepared for whatever happened between us, including nothing. Which meant pajamas, even though I normally hated them.
“So are you.” She reached out and gently ran her fingers along a scar on my shoulder. She traced a line with her fingers along my biceps, and then across my chest. She grazed her nails along my stomach, staring down at my torso with pure admiration. She worried her lower lip for a few seconds, before running her tongue over it, and my cock sprang to life immediately. Just watching the look in her eyes and the small smile playing on her lips was a huge turn-on.
“Is it my turn yet?” I asked her in a throaty whisper.
“Yes.” She let the front of the dress slip down a little but it was tight so it wouldn’t come off on its own, and I held out one hand to steady her as she stepped out of it. She was in nothing but a strapless bra and panties now, but her body was exactly as I’d envisioned it when I saw her in the dress last night: perfection. Her hips were round and full for someone as thin as she was, the indentation of her waist giving the illusion she was curvy, and her thighs were mouthwateringly shapely. Everything about her was flawless in my eyes, and my self-control was about to get lost in a big way.
I reached out to touch her, circling her small waist with my hands. There would be plenty of time for everything but right now, I needed to make contact until we were ready to take it further.
My phone buzzed and I turned, worried it was Chains; who else would be calling at this time of the morning?
“It might be Chance, waiting for you at the gym. It’s almost seven.” Her eyes twinkled with mirth as she all but read my mind.
“Hang on, let me tell him I’m not coming.” I grabbed the phone, typed a quick reply to Chance, and tossed it back on the bed. “Where were we?”
“You were going to make mad, passionate love to me,” she whispered.
“Nothing mad about it,” I said, drawing her close to me. “You told me once you didn’t care if you lived in a high-rise in the city or a hut on a beach… Is that still true?”
“Absolutely.”
“I don’t know where I’m going to be or what I’m going to be doing the next few years,” I said softly. “I won’t disappear again, like I did last time, but I don’t know if we can be together like a normal couple. I need you to understand that before we do this.”
“I’d rather be alone six months of the year knowing you’re coming home to me than be with anyone else full-time.”
My mouth found hers with a ferocity I’d never felt before. This wasn’t just sex or passion; this was an overwhelming sharing of every goddamn thing that made me who I was. She kissed me back like a woman who knew what she wanted and was going to take it—and I was going to let her.
I plunged my tongue into her mouth again and again, dragging my fingers through her hair and pulling her even closer. I kissed her thoroughly, until I hoped her toes curled and her pussy dripped for me. Her lips were like velvet, soft and warm against mine, just like that night all those years ago. Except now we weren’t hiding and I wouldn’t have to stop.
I drop
ped my head and let my mouth travel down her throat, pausing to lick and nuzzle her salty skin. I pressed a kiss between her breasts before reaching back to unhook the bra. Her breath caught a little as it fell away but I was too focused on the swell of her breasts and her raspberry nipples, which were already hard little peaks of anticipation. I flicked my tongue over one, watching as she inhaled sharply, her head falling back. I blew lightly and watched her nipples tighten even more as she arched her chest against me.
“More?” I asked softly, trailing one hand down her back.
“Yes. Please.”
I moved to the other breast, squeezing one with my hand and softly cupping the first. Need shot through me with such force, it was almost unbearable, but this was about her. Her needs, her pleasure, her desires. And she was so damn responsive. Every kiss, nip and lick elicited the most exquisite responses, my cock swelling behind my boxers almost painfully. I’d been on an unintentional hiatus from sex and now I needed her desperately.
“You’re making me crazy,” I whispered against her chest.
“Ditto.” She reached up and ran her short nails along my scalp, tipping my head so she could look into my eyes. “You’re taking your time because that’s what you think I need, but it’s not. Take me, Ace.”
She didn’t have to ask me twice, so I backed her onto the bed. Since there was barely any room around it, it only took one step and I followed her down, holding myself up on one elbow as I hovered over her. I reached out and gently circled one nipple with my thumb, watching it harden again instantly.
“Does that make you hot?” I asked.
“Oh yeah.”
I slid my hand between her legs and her panties were drenched. “You’re very wet.”
“I am.” Her eyes met mine and they were filled with so much anticipation it accelerated my own.
I fumbled with my clothes, pulling off my bottoms and realizing I no longer carried a condom in my wallet like I had when I was younger.
“Shit.” I collapsed against her.
