by Rae Knightly
A thousand images flipped through his mind and he clung to one of Kimi’s smiling face. He pulled out the dreamcatcher she had given him and felt the soft web of strings under his fingertips. Being born with two cultures is a gift, not a burden. For some reason, her words echoed in his mind. She had lashed out at being half First Nation but then had come to realize her difference was her strength, not her weakness. The idea wouldn’t let Ben go. He twisted uncomfortably on the snowy bed Mesmo had made him, knowing, somehow, that those words applied to him, too. Acceptance was inevitable and part of him longed to embrace it, to feel confident and steadfast in his new identity, the way he had witnessed Kimi’s transformation.
But the sickness?
He pushed the thought to the back of his mind. There was no time to think about that.
“Mesmo?” Ben’s voice pierced the darkness.
“Yes?”
“I want you to teach me about the skill.”
There was a long pause, then Mesmo said, “Are you sure?”
Ben sighed in resignation. “Yes.” He felt Mesmo approach.
“Why this change of heart?”
Ben stared at the invisible ceiling. “Because it could save Mom,” he said.
***
Laura woke to clanging sounds. She opened her eyes in a hurry and found the Shapeshifter sitting on a rock opposite her, rummaging through her backpack. He fished out a can of ravioli, a swiss knife, and a plastic spoon. With little effort, he unscrewed the top and began gobbling up the cold contents.
Laura couldn’t help staring at the alien, for the bald man named Connelly who had caught her the night before, was no longer there. In his place sat Bordock: a man of muscular build, shorter than Mesmo, though with the same olive-coloured skin and white hair, which spiked out of his head like hedgehog quills.
He must have felt her gaze because he turned her way. She caught her breath and closed her eyes, but he wasn’t fooled.
“Wakey, wakey,” he said. “Time to get up. We have a long day ahead.”
Laura gave up pretending to sleep and struggled to sit, remembering that her hands were cuffed together before her. How convenient that he’s a police officer, she seethed silently.
She looked out of their rudimentary shelter, which Bordock had found below some jutting rocks the night before. It had been enough to prevent snow from swirling inside and he had even managed to light a small fire. Still, the night had been long and cold, and by the headache that hammered in the back of her head, Laura guessed she hadn’t slept much.
“It’s still snowing,” she pointed out.
“Yes, but it is also daytime. Which means it’s time to go.”
“Go where?”
“Down the mountain, of course,” Bordock said, munching. Laura tried to ignore her grumbling stomach. Bordock dug into the can of ravioli and said with a full mouth, “We have to get there before they do. We’re the welcoming team, see?” He waved an empty spoon at her.
Laura glared at him. “You won’t get away with this. Mesmo will crush you.”
Bordock burst out laughing. Laura felt fire rise to her cheeks. “Poor little Earthling. Still thinks the friendly alien will save her.” Using his tongue, he cleaned out the piece of meat stuck in his teeth, then threw the can at her. It cluttered to the ground. The spoon fell out and ravioli spilled everywhere. Laura picked it up in disgust and stared at the few remaining pasta cushions that plastered the very bottom of the can.
The alien pointed his index finger at her. “Let’s get one thing straight. That Toreq scum doesn’t care about you. All he cares about is the translation skill. Get this through your little brain. It’s not your son he’s protecting. It’s the skill!”
Laura choked on the ravioli she had managed to extract from the can with her fingers.
Bordock stared at her in amazement. “Don’t you realize that yet? Do you really think he’s out there looking for you? He doesn’t care where you are. He doesn’t care whether you’re alive or dead. Right now, all he’s interested in is escaping these mountains with your son as fast as he can.”
Laura’s appetite was gone. She dropped the can to the ground. “You're lying,” she said with an effort.
Bordock shrugged. He bent to gather their things and shove them into the backpack. “I know the Toreq better than you do. Trust me when I tell you, it’s the skill he wants.”
“…and you don’t?” Laura said in a low voice, launching an accusing glare his way. To her horror, he turned slowly and smirked.
“Yes, all right,” he admitted, plopping down on the rock again. “I can’t deny the translation skill would be a valuable asset to my collection. But at least I’m honest about it.”
Laura shuddered, thinking of Mesmo’s wife. “You see, that’s where you and Mesmo differ. He would never forcefully take someone’s skill from them.”
The corner of Bordock’s mouth lifted in half a smile. “Ah, I see Mesmo has told you how I became a Shapeshifter.”
Laura watched him heave the backpack onto his shoulders. Her heart sank as she realized he knew very well she couldn’t survive on her own without it.
“What can I say?” he said as he fished out a tiny key from his pocket. “War comes fraught with sacrifices.”
“What war?” she chided. “The War of the Kins happened millennia ago. And you lost. He told me so.”
A funny smile crept into Bordock’s face, one she did not like at all.
“Strange…” he said thoughtfully, releasing one of her hands, then attaching the empty cuff to his own wrist. “…strange that he should open up to you, yet tell you only half the story…” he trailed off.
“What story?”
The weird smile crept on to his face again. He shook his head. “No,” he said as if speaking to himself. “No. It would be a lot more fun to watch him tell you.”
He turned and pulled her away from their rocky shelter.
“Tell me what?” she insisted.
“Enough!” he snapped, making her cringe. She did not like the way his eyes had hardened. “If you want to see your son again before Mesmo takes him away, you’ll want to get down this mountain as soon as possible.”
Laura struggled behind him with the faintest glimmer of hope blossoming in her mind. From Bordock’s last phrase, she gathered that he was not aware of Mesmo’s current condition. Mesmo was reduced to a mere apparition. He could not physically force Ben to go anywhere.
***
Ben woke to a ray of light that shone in his left eye. He blinked and gathered his bearings, then remembered where he was.
Faint daylight seeped through cracks in the makeshift igloo. Tike scratched at its snowy surface, making some of it crumble. The terrier trotted back to the boy to check that Ben was satisfied with him.
Ben stared at his dog as if seeing him for the first time.
Can you hear me?
The blood rushed to his ears as soon as he directed the question at Tike with his mind. The dog wagged his tail vigorously.
Of course, I can! What took you so long?
Ben shrank back into the snowy wall. He willed himself not to think anything for a moment, but the connection was crystal-clear in his mind. The part of him that was Tike, was overly thrilled and happy, while the part of his brain that was still his own was more cautious. An image of blue filaments flashed through his mind, but he pushed it away before he could panic. There was no time to think about that. He had to master the skill if he was going to help his mother–even if it meant losing himself to it.
What’s wrong? Are you still angry at me?
Tike’s words were unmistakable as, for the first time, Ben opened up to them entirely. It also meant feeling all of his dog’s feelings, and he realized just how much he had hurt his companion in the past weeks by ignoring him.
Oh, Tike!
He picked up the terrier and hugged him.
I’m so sorry I was mean to you. I’m an idiot!
Tike licked his face.<
br />
No, you’re not. I love you.
Ben was taken aback by such innocent sincerity. He hugged his dog harder.
I love you, too!
They stayed close like that for a long moment, Ben stroking Tike’s back and Tike kissing him in the neck with his snout.
Light poured into the igloo as the snow melted and Mesmo appeared in the open doorway. “Benjamin?” he called. “Time to go. It’s a long way down. I’m hoping to reach the road by tomorrow morning.”
“After we’ve saved Mom.”
“Right.”
“Before that you have to teach me to use the skill.”
Mesmo didn’t answer right away. “First, let’s get this day over. I need you to save your strength.”
“I’m fine,” Ben reassured him, before noticing the emptiness in his stomach.
Mesmo must have noticed his face change, because he said, “Time to go.”
Ben stepped out of the igloo and caught his breath. Though it was still snowing, the clouds were high and grey in the sky, allowing him a glimpse of the vast landscape ahead of him. The steep Kananaskis Mountains sloped dangerously before leveling out into the plains that crossed half of Canada. Somewhere, down below, a road followed the mountain and rejoined the highway. Ben suddenly understood Mesmo’s urgency. If another storm hit, he could be stuck here for days without food. Ignoring his hunger, he stepped after Mesmo as they began their descent.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Grizzly
Ben fell headlong in the snow.
“Benjamin?” Mesmo called, hurrying to his side.
Ben turned his head but was too weak to flip onto his back.
“Get up! You have to keep going!” Mesmo urged.
“Can’t,” Ben muttered. He had walked for seven hours straight and he was exhausted.
Mesmo melted some snow by his mouth. “Drink!” he ordered.
Ben obeyed, feeling the fresh water flow down to his empty stomach. The descent had been brutal, especially when Mesmo had had to cut the connection with the spirit portal to return to his physical body, leaving Ben on his own for several hours. Ben’s progress had been excruciatingly slow during that time because Mesmo had not been there to melt the snow in his path.
Fortunately, sometime after two o’clock, the alien had returned, allowing Ben to make good progress.
But now, Ben was done. He needed rest. And he needed food.
“You can’t stay out here in the open,” Mesmo said with his back to the boy. “Come on. You need to make it to the edge of the forest at least.”
Ben raised his head slightly.
What forest?
He spotted it way below.
I can’t.
Yes, you can. Get up!
Tike was by his side. Ben stared at his dog, whose exhaustion was more palpable even than his own. Ben felt a pang of guilt and picked himself up. Then he grabbed Tike and covered him under his jacket. His dog sent him a wave of gratitude, giving him the energy he needed to clamber down to the forest.
Ben, Mesmo and Tike made it to the border of trees by early evening. The boy collapsed in the igloo that Mesmo melted out for him and fell into a troubled sleep. His dreams bordered on hallucinations. He shivered from cold in spite of the protective snow-womb he lay in, the low temperatures having anchored themselves to his clothes. Sometimes he was talking to Tike, other times he was calling Mesmo’s name, but he couldn’t tell if the alien was there or not. He dug his mouth into a juicy steak, only to realize it was made of thin air, and he woke to his stomach grumbling painfully.
By morning, he couldn’t shake off the fuzziness in his brain and his eyes blacked out for a second as he tried to sit up. His legs felt like numb stumps. He rubbed his face with his hands to try and get rid of his exhaustion, then broke out of his snowy shelter.
The sun shone, warming his cheeks. He lay in the snow, half-in and half-out of the igloo, unable to move. Finally, he attempted to stand shakily, his legs feeling like stubborn logs. He scanned the barren landscape with his eyes. There was no sign of Mesmo.
Having nothing better to do, Ben followed Tike as the dog wandered off into the trees. It wasn’t long before they reached the edge of a lake. Ben knelt at its edge and broke a hole in the ice. Tike lapped at the water thirstily while Ben struck at the ice to make a second hole. He plunged his cracked lips into the icy liquid, ignoring its stinging cold. Somewhat satisfied at having filled his stomach with something, the boy wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
Tike tensed beside him. The dog crouched to the ground suddenly, ears laid back, teeth barred.
Ben froze with his arm half-way up to his mouth. A low growl reached his ears, chilling his blood. Filled with a sense of foreboding, he turned to face the source of the menacing sound.
A grizzly bear towered a few feet behind him. Its mouth bristled with saliva. Its nostrils huffed. It shook its robust body, making its shaggy coat sway to-and-fro. The beast sniffed at the air, then rose on its hind legs and let out a furious roar, displaying its sharp teeth.
Ben scampered back in terror. His brain exploded with stars, the blood rushed to his ears and instantly, he was pulled into the grizzly’s mind. He saw himself through the eyes of the bear with a powerful sense of irritation at the sight of this insignificant, trembling creature before him.
You trespass!
The words boomed in Ben’s mind. The beast shook its mane to show off its power and might and the small creature shrank into a ball of fear before it. This only made the grizzly angrier. It wanted to swipe at the thing with one mighty paw.
A tiny part of Ben’s mind was still his.
I must give in to the skill, now!
It was imperative. It was critical. His survival depended on it.
For Mom.
He let go willingly. He resigned to the translation skill and instantly slipped into the bear’s thoughts, the words he needed forming in his mind’s eye.
Yes! I trespass! This is your domain, mighty one. Forgive me.
The bear fell back down to its front paws in bewilderment. It sniffed at the air, trying to decide whether the insignificant creature was a menace.
Ben crouched on the ground, making himself as small as possible. He pushed aside his feelings of fear and made the bear aware that he was completely harmless. He bent his head, avoiding eye contact, and reached out a glowing hand in submission.
The grizzly blew angrily through its nostrils, but its curiosity was piqued. It spoke with a deep, authoritative voice.
You kill my family with thunder. You steal my food. I do not like your kind.
Ben knew it was referring to hunters. He also knew it was no use lying. His mind was open to the bear, just as much as the bear’s was to him.
Yes, my species can be unkind. But I am just a cub. I have no thunder. I do not like thunder.
He remained silent, allowing the beast to scan his mind, ignoring a surge of nausea.
You are strange, different. Not like the others.
Ben bit his lip.
That is because I speak your language. I can listen and obey your will.
The bear relaxed slightly and took a step back.
Ben dared lift his head to peek at the animal. It observed him curiously, deciding Ben wouldn’t make a worthy meal after all. Instead, its threatening mood fell away and it was replaced by compassion.
You are hungry.
The bear could read his every feeling.
No cub in my domain goes hungry!
The grizzly lurched forward, making Ben jump. But it headed straight for the lake. Ben watched, awestruck, as the majestic creature waded into the water, scanning the depths for fish.
Not long after, Ben plodded through the snow, away from the lake, through the forest, and out into the sun. A sleepy corner of his brain knew that he was still submerged with the bear, at the animal’s complete mercy. He spotted a movement a little way off. The intrusion of another being in the bear’s territory angered
him and he advanced with determination.
The being had flimsy arms and legs, and fur on its small head. The being turned to face Ben the Bear and looked straight at him. “Benjamin? What’s wrong?” it said, frowning.
Why do you call me Benjamin? Why do you not fear me?
Confusion entered Ben’s thoughts.
Am I not a bear? What am I?
A part of his mind detached itself and became that of a boy. Ben’s awareness slowly replaced the bear’s thoughts as it focused on the being.
I know you.
“Ben!” Mesmo urged. “Snap out of it!”
Ben’s mind uncurled entirely from that of the grizzly, which had remained by the lake, and through a hazy fog in his mind, he remembered who he was. He looked down, expecting to see huge paws, but instead found that he had hands, and that he was carrying a large trout. He let the fish slip to the ground.
I’m not a grizzly. I’m a human boy.
He stared at Mesmo in utter confusion. “Grizzly,” he muttered. Then everything swam before his eyes, and he fell into darkness.
***
When he woke again, Ben found himself lying on his back in the snow. He turned his head, but when he did, his stomach heaved, and he retched. Nothing came out of his mouth as he had not eaten in two days. He found Mesmo staring at him intently. He remained on his side, panting, holding Mesmo’s eyes as if they were anchors. His mind was free from the bear’s thoughts. He was just Ben again. But fear paralyzed him. He had used the skill and it had knocked him out, making him weak and nauseous. It took a while before he found enough strength to speak. “Am I going to die?” he breathed.
Mesmo studied him with deeply knitted brows. He approached Ben and knelt beside him. “No, Benjamin Archer, you are not going to die.”
Ben rolled to his side, ignoring the dizziness in his head. “Then why is the skill making me so sick?”
Mesmo’s gaze bore into him. The alien’s shoulders sagged as if a great burden had been placed on them, and Ben thought he saw the shadow of a deep sadness pass before his eyes. “It is not you who is sick,” Mesmo said. “It is the animals.”
