“You think that’s funny?” a voice asked.
Ramsey’s voice.
I didn’t know what the hell was going on.
As I turned to go into the kitchen, I couldn’t believe my eyes.
Ramsey standing at my stove, with Sam standing on a turned around dining room chair next to him. Sam was still way shorter than Ramsey, but they were like two peas in a pod.
“You have to keep smashing the eggs,” Ramsey said. “That’s why they’re called scrambled eggs. You have to scramble them. Want to try?”
“Sure,” Sam said.
I cringed when I saw my son take a spatula from Ramsey and lean over a hot stove.
Sam poked at the eggs and kept looking at Ramsey for approval.
The way a son would look at his father.
I wasn’t sure how to feel in that moment.
My son with my… what?
I cleared my throat and Ramsey turned his head.
“There she is,” he said. “Sleepyhead over here.”
“Excuse me?” I asked.
Sam turned and smiled. “I’m cooking, Mom.”
“I see that,” I said. “When did you get up?”
“I don’t know,” he said.
“Hey, dude, why don’t you go watch some cartoons and I’ll finish up here,” Ramsey said.
Sam jumped down from the chair and took off out of the kitchen. Ramsey turned off the burner and moved the pan to the other side of the stove.
“Breakfast is done,” he said with a wink.
“Wow,” I said. “Did he wake you up?”
“I was awake. I heard him in the hallway. So, I kind of snuck my way out.”
“Okay. Did he say anything?”
“No,” Ramsey said. “I told him I was using the bathroom. That I slept over to fix your car.”
“He wasn’t scared of you?”
“No. Is he supposed to be?”
“No,” I said. “Sorry. This is…”
Ramsey smiled. “Get some eggs and get ready for work, darling. I have to take off now. I need to meet Matt and Ed at a job.”
I put my hand out to stop him from getting away that easily. “Thank you for staying last night.”
He touched my face. “Of course. I wish I could do it every night.”
“Who says you can’t?”
Ramsey didn’t respond. I felt heat rise into my cheeks.
I had stepped over a line.
Suggesting he lived with me? And Sam? Joking or not, that was a big line to cross over.
“You’re beautiful in the morning, darling,” he said, gently stroking my cheek with his thumb. “I’ve wondered how you’d look in the morning for a while now. Now I know.”
“Thank you, Rams.”
He leaned down and kissed my cheek. “You should come by my place, darling. You’d appreciate the house. Everything it means to me.”
“I’d love to do that,” I said.
I casually touched the bottom of his shirt. I started to flirt with the top of his jeans.
Ramsey had found a secret side of me and unlocked it.
I wanted him again. Right there. Right in the kitchen.
“You’re pushing it now,” he whispered.
“Maybe I don’t care.”
He laughed right in my ear, sending a hot, tingling sensation through my entire body.
He kissed my cheek again and walked away.
I stepped from the kitchen and watched as he said goodbye to Sam. Running his hand over Sam’s messy bedhead hair.
And then he was gone.
I had worried about this moment for a long time. Knowing I never wanted to be alone in life. Knowing even with leaving Keith, he was going to forever be in our lives. Knowing I would eventually have to make the decision to have a man come over and be near Sam.
But that wasn’t the scariest part of it all.
The scariest part…
Ramsey made it all feel normal.
22
Last Words to Hang on to
Ramsey
I know what you’re thinking. That this all must be crazy to imagine. How fast and twisted our lives can get. How one second and one look can change everything in the world you’ve built on your own. But when that happens, and you believe in it, you now have someone to walk with on a new path.
One day soon we’ll look back on today and know it was the start of our family. Everything we’ve ever wanted to build. Right from this exact moment.
Your thoughts on family are built from a dark place. I saw you in that dark place. I went there with you so many times. Knowing where it would get us. I believed in that, Ramsey. I really did. And here we are today, finally away from that darkness.
I promised myself I wouldn’t write something cliché and filled with random poetic lines of garbage. You’re worth more than that. I’m looking you right in the eyes as I speak these words. Words I’ve written so many times, over and over, finding a way to say it differently. But nothing should be different right now. It should all be from the heart. And from the heart, it’s us. It’s what we’re going to build next. You know what I want. You know what I desire. It goes beyond the look in our eyes. It goes beyond our future.
It goes…
I put my head into the shower and let the heat and the sound of the water wash away the thoughts. There were times when everything played out moment by moment, as though my heart and mind wanted to force myself to face everything that went right, and wrong, and find a way to make sure it would never happen again.
The simple solution for that was to not fall for anyone ever again.
Except now I was too close to Jordyn.
And I couldn’t get away. I didn’t want to get away.
The second I saw her sitting alone at the bar, it just did something to my heart that I never thought possible again. And no matter what happened between us, or her life or my life, that feeling only grew.
Now things were taking another turn.
Aunt Millie insisted on cooking dinner for us. Us being myself, Jordyn, and Sam.
That one extra step forward into me falling harder for Jordyn. Which meant getting closer to Sam. And that left me wondering exactly how Jordyn felt about that and what her boundaries were.
But she knew there was no getting Aunt Millie to back down. She insisted on cooking a big dinner and having Sam be there. She was too excited about it, but it was well known why. There were no kids around. Her heart forever beat with hope to become a mother and grandmother. And all she got was me. A kid that almost ruined her life. A kid that became a man who ruined what could have been a good marriage and family.
After I showered and dressed, I drove to pick up Jordyn.
The whole every other weekend notion seemed to have been thrown out. Which wasn’t the worst thing to have happened. We were free to be with each other, which gave us each the chance to challenge how we felt and where things were going.
She opened the door, wearing a black sundress with red and brown flowers on it. Not wearing any shoes, her hair down, tucked behind her ears, little holes in her ears for earrings but she wasn’t wearing any. Not a drop of makeup on her face either.
The most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Enough that it made me reach for the doorway to make sure I could keep my balance. It took a lot to bring a guy like me down. Punches, a beer bottle over the head, that wouldn’t do it. But the stare from Jordyn’s honey eyes wearing that dress…
“Wow, darling,” I said. “You look amazing.”
“No, I don’t,” she said. “It’s an old dress. I don’t have that many nice clothes.”
“Don’t ever say that,” I said. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward me. “You look fucking beautiful right now. Are you sure you want to do this?”
Jordyn shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t want to upset your aunt.”
“Right,” I said. “She’s going to go crazy over you and Sam. Just be warned now.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
“I don’t know. That’s up to you. She’s dreamed of this.”
“You bringing home a struggling, single mother?”
“No, darling, not that. A bigger family.”
“Family,” Jordyn said. “Well, then we both get something we want. Which is the same thing. It’s not like we have anywhere to go for the holidays, you know? We usually just float around friends’ houses.”
“You never have to worry about that again,” I said. “Aunt Millie is going to love Sam. And Uncle Tom will try to intimidate him. Feel free to give him a smack to the back of the head.”
“Are you nervous about this?”
“Me? No.”
“I think you’re lying to me, Rams.”
“Not even close, darling. I would never lie to you. You’re too pretty.”
Jordyn threw her head back and laughed. She pushed off my chest and turned to walk through the living room. I stepped into the house, my eyes locked onto her ass. I couldn’t wait to get the chance to tear that black sundress off her later. I’d make it so-
“Hey, Rams,” a little voice said.
I turned my head and looked down to see Sam sitting on the bottom step, wrestling to get his foot into a light-up character shoe.
“Hey, dude,” I said. “Hope you’re hungry.”
He shrugged his shoulders.
I crouched and asked, “Are you nervous?”
“A little.”
“Don’t be. My Aunt Millie makes the best food in the world. And I may have tipped her off that you really like chicken nuggets and mac ‘n’ cheese.”
“Really?” Sam asked.
“Yeah. Oh, and apple juice, right?”
“Yeah,” he said.
“Did you pack toys?”
“No. Mom said-”
“Pack some toys. This isn’t a fancy restaurant. You should enjoy yourself.”
“Okay,” Sam said.
I stood and turned to find Jordyn standing a few feet from me. My instinct was to take her, have her, do whatever my heart desired with and for her.
“Hope you don’t mind,” I said as I touched her arms, “but I told Sam to bring some toys. Trust me, it’s okay. I don’t want him to get bored.”
“That’s fine, I guess,” Jordyn said. “I just don’t want to look like a mother who can’t control her son.”
“Never,” I said. “You need to let all of that go, right now. This place… this is home to anyone who needs a home.”
“I’ve been there,” she said. “I know that.”
“Good.”
“Did you really tell your aunt to make food for Sam?”
“Of course I did,” I said. “He has to eat. And if he’s picky, then so what?”
She swallowed hard. “That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Well, then you’ve obviously been with the wrong person.”
Jordyn rolled her eyes. “Breaking news.”
“You both deserve to enjoy your lives,” I said.
“I think I’m liking you a lot, Rams.”
She moved to her toes and kissed my chin.
The look in her eyes as she did was something else. A look I had never seen before.
She left me standing there and I couldn’t move for a few seconds.
I was in love with her.
Aunt Millie tore open the door wearing a frilly apron around her waist. Her hair was extra puffy, and she wore her favorite light blue button-down shirt. She clapped her hands together and let out a shriek of happiness when she saw Sam. I watched as Sam inched closer to Jordyn’s leg.
I took the liberty of entering the house before everyone else and whispered to Aunt Millie, “Try to take it easy for a second here…”
“Well, you two come in, right now,” Aunt Millie ordered. She waved her right hand at Jordyn. “Come here, doll. Come to me.”
Jordyn put a hand to Sam’s back and led the way.
Aunt Millie wrapped her arms around Jordyn and hugged her tight.
I backed up and watched Jordyn’s cheeks turn red.
When Aunt Millie broke the hug, she bent her knees and went eye level with Sam.
“And you must be Sam,” she said. “I’ve heard a lot about you. Chicken nuggets. Mac ‘n’ cheese. Cars. Trucks. You’re a busy guy, huh?”
Sam just stared.
“Say hello, Sam,” Jordyn said. “Don’t be rude.”
“Oh, hardly,” Aunt Millie said. “We’re just talking.”
“We don’t have much family,” Jordyn said. “So this is…”
“Well, there’s no worry about that anymore,” Aunt Millie said. “Hey, Sam, have you ever heard the story of the boy who ate dessert before dinner?”
“No,” Sam said.
“Oh, that’s a good story,” I said. “Come here, dude. I want you to meet Uncle Tom. He’ll tell you about it.”
To my surprise, Sam moved away from his mother and came to me. Aunt Millie quickly swept Jordyn toward the oven to talk about her famous baked whole chickens.
Uncle Tom sat at the table, enjoying a beer. When he saw Sam, he turned his chair and leaned forward. With his big belly pressing against his flannel shirt, his unkempt black and gray beard, and his big and wisdom full looking eyes, Uncle Tom looked like a lumberjack character out of a cartoon.
“Good evening, Sam,” Uncle Tom said. He offered his hand.
“You can shake his hand,” I said to Sam.
Sam shook Uncle Tom’s hand.
“He wants to hear the story of the boy who ate dessert before dinner,” I said.
“Ah,” Uncle Tom said. “You’ve never heard that story?”
“No,” Sam said.
“Well, there was this boy. About your age. And he wanted nothing more than a cookie before dinner. And everyone told him no. But he kept asking. And asking. And asking.” Uncle Tom leaned toward Sam. “Do you know want happened then?”
“No,” Sam said.
“He finally got that cookie. Before dinner. And this is the most important part of the story, Sam. Do you want to know what happened to that little boy?”
Sam nodded, looking intently at Uncle Tom.
Uncle Tom gently touched Sam’s shoulder. “He ate the cookie. Then a second. And then…” Uncle Tom sighed for dramatic effect. “He was happy.”
Uncle Tom smiled big.
Sam looked up at me.
“I know, dude,” I said. “The stories are bad. But the food is great.”
“Sam, come over here,” Aunt Millie called out.
I walked Sam back to the kitchen where she had two chocolate chip cookies for him. That got Sam’s face to lighten up quite a bit.
“Do I get a cookie?” I asked.
Aunt Millie swatted at my arm. “You’ll spoil your appetite.”
Jordyn laughed at me.
“Hey,” I said. “When have I ever not eaten dinner?”
“That’s a good point,” Aunt Millie said. “I thought we were going to have to take out a second mortgage on the house to feed this creature.”
“I was a growing boy,” I said. I lifted my left arm and flexed. “Still am.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Aunt Millie said. She looked down at Sam. “Go grab a seat at the table, Sam. Enjoy your cookies.”
“What can I help with?” I asked as Jordyn took Sam to the table.
“Carry the pan to the table for me, Ramsey,” Aunt Millie said. “My wrists have been sore lately.”
“Sore?”
“Seasonal,” she said. “Happens all the time.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure, Ramsey,” she said.
Arguing medical stuff with Aunt Millie was useless. She believed garlic healed everything. Her chicken soup was her version of antibiotics. And there was nothing a cool washcloth or a warm towel couldn’t heal either. And if things were bad enough, a shot of whiskey could take care of that too.
I took the giant roaster pan out of the oven an
d as I walked to the table, I paused.
Aunt Millie stood behind Jordyn and Sam. She was pointing everything out on the table as though nobody knew what food was. She was happy. Jordyn was smiling. Sam sat, his chest barely above the table, a giant plate in front of him. It made me wonder when the last time was that they had a big meal like this.
Then there was Uncle Tom, forever in the same seat, at the same table, with the same beer, with a different look on his face. Knowing this was what Aunt Millie always wanted. A family dinner.
It wasn’t exactly the perfect situation, but looking at Jordyn and Sam…
They were perfect.
There was a loud slam and Jordyn whipped her head around. “Sammy. Please be careful.”
“Ah, he’s fine,” Uncle Tom said. “Just a boy being a boy. He can’t break anything in there.”
“That’s Tom’s study,” Aunt Millie said with air quotes.
“I plan on using that room someday,” Uncle Tom said.
“Yeah, right,” I said with a laugh.
“Hell, if I could just retire…”
“You can retire anytime you want,” I said.
“Yeah, right,” Uncle Tom said in a mocking voice.
“He’s fine in there,” Aunt Millie said, touching Jordyn’s arm. “Let him make a mess. Nothing I haven’t cleaned up before with Ramsey.”
“You played with trucks and cars when you were a teenager?” Jordyn asked me with a smile.
“Yeah,” I said. “I was a sheltered boy.”
Uncle Tom let out an obnoxious ha! and took a gulp of his fresh beer.
“So, tell us everything about Sam,” Aunt Millie said. “He’s adorable, Jordyn. Looks just like you.”
“Really?” she asked. “A lot of people say he looks like his father.”
The conversation was bound to take an uncomfortable turn with reality forever creeping in.
“Well, I think he looks like you,” Aunt Millie said. “Did his father…”
“Aunt Millie,” I said. I shook my head.
“What?” she asked. “I’m just asking questions.”
“It’s okay,” Jordyn said. “Things just didn’t work out. That’s all.”
“Is he good to his son?” Uncle Tom asked.
“Jesus, both of you,” I said.
Every Other Weekend Page 22
