“Surrender…”
A whisper from her Guidestar that only she could hear caused a giant crack in her power. The shattering manifested in a bright, white spark that was so intense, it blinded everyone in the room.
Lucerne, having been closest to its source, stumbled back, rage filling his face at the pain that pulsed into his eyes. He held his hands over them in anguish, taking a few moments to recover.
When the pain eased, he moved his hands slowly, staring at Yara in confusion and wrath. “What… was that?!” he asked with a dark, measured tone.
Yara felt her heartstar beating in panic. All the power from her le-feer was suddenly subdued and even her Guidestar was silent once again.
Grandam and Toler warned me that no one can find out about Guidestar. WHY is it choosing to manifest like this now? I shoved it away! It’s only going to make my life worse. What do I do…what do I say?
“Was that not the Wielder?” Yara asked, stammering through an inept diversion.
“Most certainly not!” Lucerne responded curtly. “The Wielder in you is of Spreuken blood. It would never attack a fellow Spreuken.”
“Attack?! You think I attacked you?! I would never do that!” Yara exclaimed, horrified. Sighing, she held her head in anguish. “But…I fear it is as you said. I am not in control. I do need your help, your training…and today proves it more than anything. I apologize, Master Lucerne. I am sincerely sorry for that…burst of light. I have yet to come to terms with my le-feer.”
Lucerne seemed unconvinced, but Atlase stepped in, taking great compassion on her.
“Father, after the display of power we saw today, I am certain there is much we too need to learn in order to expertly train our Queen. She is operating beyond even our understanding, especially as an untrained Eld. Perhaps we rushed today’s lesson, and put too much pressure on her. Remember, she grew up among these…creatures. It is not her fault that she did not have her father to show her our ways. How can we expect her to know that which she cannot?”
“Hmmm…” Lucerne responded pensively. He remained quiet for a few seconds, considering his son’s words. A strange look passed between him and Atlase that unnerved Yara, and for a moment she felt unsafe again.
“I think you’re right, son,” Lucerne finally said. Yara felt relief flow through her.
He turned to her, his expression softening once again.
“My Queen, I am sorry to have pushed you like this today. It was not fair of me to expect so much of you when we haven’t even officially begun your training. But it would do you well to practice the chant I taught you today, as it will be useful in what lies ahead. The Wielder’s Chant will grant you access to your Spreuken capabilities, which is the only part of you that will be able to harness your latent power.”
“I am grateful, Master Lucerne, for both you, and your son…”
Yara’s eyes gravitated toward Atlase’s as she said his name, and a sense of profound care crept into her. He returned her expression a thousand-fold, with deep sympathy flowing from his face.
Could it really be…? I think he does… I can feel it. He cares for me, too…
She felt it so assuredly that it became the only firm knowledge she had of anything about the Eld. It comforted her to have this unspoken connection, and it was even more meaningful after he chose to defend her “attack” on his father. He seemed to sense that she was doing the best she could right now. His empathy was invaluable.
“Perhaps we should head back, before Master Nox dies of worry from his overprotective ways,” Lucerne remarked with a small grin. “I do advise, my Queen, that you be careful how much you share with him about what happened here. An Agarb would not be pleased to know you are learning about your Spreuken side, or our chanting ways.”
Yara surveyed the Photaks once more with a stern look, then walked out of her father’s healing room. Walking ahead of Lucerne and Atlase through the corridors of the main keep, she soon got lost in her reminiscent thoughts.
When she was a calculated distance ahead, Lucerne grabbed Atlase’s arm, stopping to observe him closely.
“Tell me my son doesn’t actually believe that what we just witnessed was a surge of her le-feer,” he hissed sternly.
“Of course I don’t, Father!” Atlase whispered back. “But I also don’t think she knows that she manifested an unknown Eld power. And you risked pushing her away by treating her as if she intentionally attacked you.”
“Do not underestimate her, Atlase. Something in her did attack me,” Lucerne responded, eyes narrowed, as he finally released his son’s arm. “We do not know anything of the sixteen years she has been here, so keep your guard up. You already know her Agarb blood will fight us at every turn. We must be prepared for whatever she is.”
Atlase nodded silently, but hints of sadness crossed his face when his father turned away.
Rejoining Yara as she exited the main keep, they made their way back to the stone structure where her carriage stood waiting. Its two Urse beauties shifted impatiently and Master Nox stood at their side. Nox was unusually calm, with a pleasant expression plastered onto his face.
Lucerne and Atlase exchanged faintly quizzical glances but Yara seemed relieved that Nox wasn’t charging at her with questions.
“Thank you for your patience, Master Nox,” she said with a smile. “We are ready to head out now.”
“Of course, my Queen,” he responded happily. Her use of formality in saying his name seemed to imply he was back in her good graces.
Yara felt a little perturbed by his overly eager smile, but with her body and mind wrung and exhausted, the soft furs within the carriage were a welcome sight. But as she stepped up and into the carriage, a blurry burst of happiness squealed from below a furred blanket and flew up into the air at her.
“YARASTAR! I GOT YOUUUUU!” squealed an ecstatic voice.
“MilaStar!!!” Yara exclaimed, laughing heartily.
She grabbed the little girl in midair, spun, and swept Mila into her arms as they landed on the ground in glee.
“Oh, little one, you are getting so much better at this!”
“Yes, YaraStar, that’s twice in a row now that I got you, remember? That day you left the village, I got you when you were sneaking out of your dwelling to leave!”
“I do remember, sweet child…” Yara said as love enveloped her heartstar.
“My Queen,” Master Nox said, now grinning, “I hope you do not mind but I’ve made a decision on your behalf, one that I think you would have made yourself.”
“Oh?” Yara said, growing serious. Lucerne and Atlase became alert.
“I have invited the Photak girl to accompany you, and perhaps stay with you for a little while so she can see your world. She has been so excited to know about your new life, asking us question after question, so I thought perhaps you would like to show her for yourself.”
“Can I YaraStar, please please please, can I pleaseeeeeeeeeeee?” Mila begged emphatically.
Yara’s heartstar burst at the thought of having Mila around again, and of having her spend time with Toler. Mila had a way of keeping her grounded, and the unconditional love in her embrace had prevented Yara from killing Malek. It had also allowed her to bring her powers back under control.
I didn’t think about that…
“Of course!!” Yara exclaimed with pure happiness. Maybe there was a chance to figure out her unconventional le-feer after all.
As she began to imagine all the things she longed to show Mila, Yara was overtaken by another thought.
“But, Master Nox, we are heading back to Skotad territory, and Mila can’t see in the Blurry…and if she stays she will suffer with Light Blindness. No…no…oh, Mila, I am so sorry to have gotten your hopes up, but you can’t come!”
Mila’s crestfallen face broke Yara’s heartstar. She felt angry that Nox would even make such a decision without considering the consequences. She glared at him, shaking her head in condemnation as Lucerne scoffed in
the background.
“My Queen,” Nox said slowly while eyeing Lucerne strangely, “I believe it is time for you to know all the things of which you, as our Eld Queen, are capable. Your royal marking gives you access the very power that created the Photaks and the Skotads.”
Lucerne cleared his throat uncomfortably, subtly directing its sound at Nox. Nox smiled at him with a slightly sly grin, then looked back directly at Yara.
“So, in the interest of sharing all things, you should know that you can remove Mila’s susceptibility to darkness. Together, we can ensure that she sees in both darkness and light…that she never suffers the Blurry or Blindness.”
“What…?” Yara said softly, mouth opened wide as hope rushed through her being.
“WHAT!” screamed a jumping Mila. “YOU CAN?! SO THAT MEANS I CAN GO WITH YARA?!!”
“Nox!” Lucerne growled.
“Yes, my Queen,” Nox continued, pointedly ignoring Lucerne, “and we can also remove the Skotads’ inability to dwell in light. In fact, I think it would be a great reward for their loyalty and care for you while you were unmarked, especially for Toler. Granted, we will have to ensure we understand the full repercussions of changing an entire race of creatures at such a primal level, but it is well within your jurisdiction to free individual creatures as a reward for their service to you. This is the way in which your honorable Eld Mother ruled. Don’t you agree, Lucerne?”
Chapter Ten
Maia
Four Thousand Years Ago
I can’t do this… I can’t do this without you…
Burning tears flooded Maia’s eyes as another sleepless night turned into a sorrowful morning. She reached out her hand and gently stroked the spot on the swaddling where the love of her life once lay. She closed her eyes and imagined the many mornings she would wake up to see him lovingly gazing upon her, ever amazed by what they shared.
The furred pillow beneath her head was damp again with runaway tears.
There is no life without you, Jaren…
She felt a slow push from her belly as Yasmin seemed to respond, sending a blurred sense of comfort.
“Thank you, little one…I know you feel the loss of his presence too. It aches me so much that you will never get to meet your brave father…and it’s all my fault.”
Maia choked up once again and turned away from Jaren’s side of their swaddling, which she had left reserved for his presence every night for the past two months.
Her memory of the last day she saw him tortured her every waking moment. Even in sleep she found no peace, as her nightmares weaved sadistic dreams showing her doing the one thing she wished to Sunstar she had done. In those imaginary visions Jaren was still alive, contingent on one decision: if she listened to her le-feer, she would not let Jaren go with Lucerne to the core that day…and he would still be alive.
It’s all my fault…
Maia was ripped apart by the guilt of choosing to be a mate over being the Queen.
The Queen would have protected Jaren. She would have listened to her inner guidance and would not have trusted Jaren’s ability to handle the situation. The Queen would have stopped him from going to the core. She would have saved his life…
She squeezed her eyes shut so hard that they hurt enormously. Her head pounded and her heartstar was ready burst open. This sorrow, losing one’s Eld mate, was like losing a part of your soul. The only thing keeping her alive was the life that dwelt within her. It was the only piece of Jaren she had left in this world.
“My Queen?” a fraught Tilly whispered as she softly pushed open the door to the bedroom chambers.
Maia didn’t respond, and Tilly didn’t expect her to. She knew that what Maia really needed was silent company. Tilly attended to little things around the swaddling, eventually heading to the adjacent room to pick out clothing for Maia to wear that day. Despite knowing that it was pointless to try to get Maia out of the room, she still laid out an exquisite dress as she had done every morning since Jaren’s death.
“Mum?” a timid voice called out.
“Yes. Come, Mibery. You can lay out our Queen’s breakfast by the window. Perhaps if our Queen desires sustenance today, she will try a bit of it.”
Tilly’s daughter hurried into the room, terrified to be there but grateful to help in any way she could. Tilly loved Queen Maia. It broke her heartstar to see the Queen immobilized by grief this way, especially while the House of Spreukens were vying for control.
Mibery and Tilly exchanged a quick, loving embrace before Mibery respectfully excused herself. As Tilly attended to the room, lost in her thoughts, she jumped to hear a broken voice near the window.
“What’s it like, Tilly?” Maia asked softly.
“My Queen…you’re up!” Tilly responded breathlessly. Her eyes widened when Maia reach for a small piece of sensopa. “What is what like, Queen Maia?”
“Being a mother, Tilly…having a daughter. Did you feel Mibery speak to you while she was still within your core?”
“I did, my Queen… vaguely, and in jumbled ways, pulses, but quite distinctly. It was the beginning of our lifelong connection. There is nothing like it, really, to see a piece of you grow to become an Agarb girl with such a humble, well-meaning nature. She is Sunstar’s gift to me…”
Maia smiled a little, giving Tilly a little hope. She pressed further.
“My Queen…I am concerned that little baby Yasmin may not be getting the proper nutrition she needs to be as strong as she should be. I went to see the Skotad, the Great Grandam, so she could concoct potions to give your body strength to support the little life within you. Please forgive me for telling her of your secret pregnancy, but I know you trust her completely and I did not know what else to do…”
Tilly’s sincere, apologetic face moved something within Maia. She realized what she must have been putting her handmaiden through while she wallowed so deeply in her sorrows. Tilly had worried over her for the smallest of things since Maia was just a little girl. This must be the worst version of Sunstar’s hell in Tilly’s mind, to see Maia’s pain and be unable to do anything to help.
“Tilly, thank you. I do trust the Skotad Grandam, and I appreciate this more than you know. If it will ease your mind, I will take what she prescribes.”
Smiling widely at the Queen’s agreement, Tilly bustled over to the old, woven bag she had brought in and took out a formidable stock of potions in small, red bottles.
“They are all dosed correctly, and just a few drops a day will build back your strength,” she said excitedly. “There is enough here to last you over the next two months, after which you will start to give off the lifegiver’s glow. Only then will we need to change the dosage as your baby starts to grow and begins pulling on the power of your le-feer for the creation of her marking.”
Taking the first dosage from Tilly, Maia lifted the little bottle to her lips. The smell was pungent, but the taste was exceedingly sweet. The moment it touched her tongue, Maia felt sparks of energy surge through her le-feer.
She raised an eyebrow at Tilly who looked a bit nervous but quite pleased at her mischief.
“Tilly, what else is in this?” Maia asked, feigning seriousness.
“Well, my Queen, the Skotad Grandam also knew of your great loss and she has heard of the civil…consequences…that have erupted. She included an ingredient to clear your mind of the haze so that you can fully perceive your le-feer again. Your people worry about the moves being made by certain Spreukens, and they question whether those in charge during your absence are executing the will of Sunstar. But I know that once you can feel your le-feer, you’ll know the will of Sunstar, and you can direct us all in following it once again.”
“What moves? And which Spreukens?” Maia asked, alertness creeping into her veins with a taste of rage. Whatever the Skotad Grandam had made was already bursting through the layers of smog that had clouded Maia from feeling her divine pulses.
“Master Lucerne has been asking where is the
Queen in this time of need. His House has found some old Spreuken manuscripts stating that the normal grieving period is two weeks before royals must return to duty. They are contemplating declaring you temporarily unfit to serve. They are saying it is both to protect Mira, and to honor your need for a longer time to grieve over Master Jaren’s…accident… in the core.”
“It was no accident, Tilly!” Maia snapped.
Tilly stared mouth-opened, shocked that the Queen would finally express her feelings on Jaren’s death. Tilly had been there when the Eld unit sent to the core brought back Maia’s dead mate, calling for the healers to try to save him. Lucerne had been there, too, distraught and inconsolable. He had said that there was an unstable cavern that Jaren had ventured down, claiming to have heard strange noises coming from there. The walls had fallen in and crushed him. By the time they had dug him out, Jaren was dead.
Maia had screamed so tortuously that all the Urses in the realm broke free of their stables and ran to the castle to try to find her. The queendom sunk into mourning, haunted by cries from the royal chambers. It had been days before her wailing quelled, soon replaced by soundless tears and deafening silence.
Maia had not spoken to anyone about Jaren’s death, not even Tilly. This was the first time she had uttered a single word about what she really thought and felt. And Tilly fully agreed.
Nodding fiercely now, Tilly told her of the observations she had made in Maia’s absence.
“Lucerne and his son Atlase are the vilest Eld of them all, my Queen. They were angling to have Atlase handle certain royal affairs just one week after Master Jaren’s horrific demise. And it hasn’t stopped ever since!”
“Of course,” Maia muttered bitterly. “Lucerne has always wanted Atlase to sit on the throne, but it is really him desiring it for himself. He knows he can control that boy with even a look! How unfortunate for Atlase to have such a despicable father!”
The Eld Queen (The YaraStar Trilogy Book 2) Page 9
