by Hannah Brown
With fire in our eyes and lightning in our hearts, we will rain down all the bitter tears you made us cry and watch as they melt your skin like acid. Before grabbing our daggers- our swords forged in the hurt you caused- and tearing you limb from limb. The same way you did to us. Like the savages you made us out to be.
so much more than a pretty face
I’m sorry for complementing your physical qualities before anything else.
The truth is you make me nervous and I didn’t know what else to say.
this love is
Everything. It is sunshine on a cloudy day.
The first sip of coffee in the morning.
What humans have been searching for
since the beginning of our time.
It is me and you dancing in the moonlight,
making love to the sound of waves
crashing on the shore.
Daisies in vases. A cottage by the sea.
a gentle relief
I’m liking this idea that things don’t have to be heavy or hurt to be real
girls
To the girl with the icy blue hair:
You are not the first girl
I’ve developed a crush on
and something tells me
you won’t be the last.
But right now, you are my favorite,
and I like to think that counts for something.
To the girl with the short blonde hair:
You know everything I’ve been through
because you had to live it too.
For you, I wish the world.
All the stars in the galaxy belong to you.
The heavens quake at the strength you exude.
I hope you never forget that.
To the girl with the long brown hair:
You are my firecracker
the thing that keeps me going day after day.
You bring me strength and stand as my backbone
when I forget where it is.
I hope you choose to stick around.
To the girl with the long blonde hair,
the one I’ve never met in person:
you are simply amazing-
I still hope you hear that once a day.
You are the sun in the morning sky and
I will never forget the kindness you have shown me.
for the sun
We haven’t met yet
but I know you’re out there
I can feel it in my bones.
I hear your voice in every song
and your laughter in the little birds
singing just outside my window at dawn.
Sometimes I sing their songs back to myself
as I bathe in my tears at night.
I see your smile in the stars
and the light in your eyes
radiating
through every picture of the galaxy.
We haven’t met yet
but I know you’re out there.
I’m laughing at your jokes already.
I feel your dimples when you smile
and the barely-there scar on your temple;
the one that only appears as you turn your head.
I sometimes trace them with my fingertips
as I tuck myself in at night.
I feel your hand in mine
and your heart
pounding
from within its cage of bones.
I smell the dirt on your sweaters
and the rain in your hair
even the shoes you remove after work.
I hope you don’t mind me
using memories of us from past lives
to keep me alive in this one.
I hope you don’t mind me
being too weak
to put myself back together,
not again,
not on my own.
I hope you don’t mind me
asking him to give her the sun,
please.
You should know
I wasn’t talking about you then.
But most of all,
I hope you don’t mind me
and my stubborn soul
learning to carry on without you.
Because waiting is for the girls
who don’t know what they want.
ours
A beginning worthy of its own romantic comedy.
things you don't own
The sun. the sky. The moon. The earth.
The books I sink my teeth into at night.
The paint I brushed across this canvas.
The flowers blooming in my garden.
The rain. The wind. The night. My body.
i am the sun and the moon
The stars in the sky are jealous of my shine while the vast emptiness and life sucking gloom of everything else does not come close to encompassing half of the deadness inside me. Didn’t you know neither could exist without the other?
and you still chose to burn me
I never asked you to settle down.
Didn’t ask you to change
or want anything other than
to be included in your little
game of make-believe.
I would have given you anything
you could ever want in life.
note to self
That wasn’t your fault.
You can’t let it hold you back anymore.
genuine hopes
You will put her first and treat her right.
There will be no more abuse of any kind.
She will never feel pain or sadness because of you or something you do.
You will love her the way she deserves to be loved… give her the sun, please.
Your parents will stop being so disappointed… not because you stopped being you, but because they stopped being them.
You are happy… really truly happy… not because you deserve to be, but because I’m tired of wishing anything else for you.
things no longer accepted as love
Being “fixed”
Games
Lies
Ignorance
even if we never speak again
My heart will still beat
My lungs will still breathe
I will be more than okay
to dig your own grave
And here we are again
trying to do the same damn thing
in a slightly different manner,
dancing to a different beat.
Breaking my back to give you space
before bending into place again
every time you say you’re sorry.
Covering bruises with blush and
too much highlight
singing love songs to mask the pain
ignoring the lipstick stains
all over your collar.
I am doing whatever is necessary
to avoid another confrontation.
Lying to my mother, my sister,
my brothers,
and hearing those three little words
over
and over
and over again
until they have lost all meaning.
I’m so sorry.
I love you.
I will not sugar coat any of the pain that has been caused.
If you refuse to consider how your actions might affect me, I will do the same.
thank you II
You’ve given me something new to write about.
i'm letting it go
The idea that you might be “the one”
"I would never hurt you."
I KNOW.
I WOULD NEVER LET YOU.
My horoscope says I’m going to fall in love with someone new this year.
It’s me.
I’m the someone new.
you are
Who is worth more than this endless cycle of abuse?
Who is deserving of everything golden that blossoms out from under the sun?
&
nbsp; Who is going to make it through this and come out on the other side
stronger than the monsters in their nightmares?
Why does it have to rain?
So the clouds can drift away
anything but a goodbye
I need you to know that I love you
more than the sun loves the stars.
This does not change that.
I need to take care of myself right now
and I’m afraid
that has to be done from a distance.
Your names are forever engraved in my heart.
My soul will never forget yours
and soon enough
we will pick up right where we left off.
say goodbye
The days of you picking at my bones with that toothpick tongue are long gone.
get ready
I’m taking myself back now.
i am the sea, and so are you
I fell in love with Poseidon,
a being with grace and fluidity
mightier than the skies above.
I read stories of his children at night,
flashlight in hand,
of how they fought demons and won wars,
commanding the seas with their might.
I longed to feel so powerful
to control a thing so mighty and unpredictable,
but the sea cannot be vanquished.
She belongs to herself and
will not be harnessed or reasoned with.
She is the one who fought
this mighy man’s battles.
He accomplished nothing without her
and it was wrong of me to think
she could be anything
other than her own.
change the way the story is told
Darling, fight fire with fire.
Make them see the monster disguised as a man
and bring him to his knees with the fear
of being discovered for what he truly is.
Cut off his head
and wear it around your neck as a trophy
for fighting back against the thing
that never wanted you to be strong
in the fear you might someday outgrow
his childish antics or
expect him to carry his own emotional baggage.
the most important thing to know
Our demons are just the parts of
ourselves we refuse to accept
