by S. R. Cronin
“You’ve always been such a softie.” My mother put her arm around my shoulders. “Well, now you’ve got a big strong Svadlu prince to look out for you and your child. Well done.”
Then she hugged me like I’d discovered gold. Given the dowry that would be coming her way, I guess I had.
I wished I could let Davor know I’d told my parents. I considered sending him a message thru the Svadlu, who always had people riding from nichna to nichna, but my instincts told me he wouldn’t be happy about that. Yet, I was nervous. School closed in Vinx for two anks while we harvested the wheat and the time for harvest drew near. Did he even know about the school’s closing?
When he finally reappeared at the end of a school day, I was so relieved to see him and excited to share my news that I didn’t notice how troubled he was. He suggested we dine at a nearby tavern and when I agreed without argument he raised an eyebrow.
“You no longer mind risking being seen together?”
“I don’t.” I’m sure I grinned. “I’m happy to be seen with you, and my family can’t wait to meet you.” He gave me a funny look and commented on how fast the weather had turned warm.
Once we were inside and seated, I studied his expression.
“What’s wrong?”
“I counted on your continued timidity, frankly. I’m sorry you spoke with your family before I got this chance to talk to you.”
“I thought you’d be happy!”
He took both of my hands in his. He seemed more sad than angry.
“Coral, I’m having second thoughts about us. For good reasons, mind you. I risk my life often. Being married to a Svadlu isn’t for the easily frightened, or the overly emotional. Yes, I heard you crying the last time we were together and I’m not sure you’re cut out for such a life.”
Not cut out to be his wife? The suggestion infuriated me. Who did he think he was, to say such things?
He continued to hold my hands and look into my eyes as he spoke, willing me to understand.
“I’m sorry I got too caught up in the pressures on me and I didn’t give this decision the thought it deserved. For the sake of your happiness, we need to reconsider.”
He thought he’d do me a favor by breaking up with me?
“Perhaps I’m stronger than you think.” It popped out of my mouth and surprised me.
“I don’t see any evidence of it.”
That comment hurt. I knew I could make this man a fine wife, but first things first.
“I’m pregnant, Davor. Before you ask. Yes, I’m sure it’s yours. I’m five anks along now and yes, I want to keep it.”
“Well. That does change things.” He stared into the ale he’d ordered, sitting in silence for longer than was comfortable.
“How would you feel about my providing financial support without a marriage?” he finally asked.
“Awful. The child deserves to be born in wedlock.”
At that, he put his head into both of his hands so I couldn’t see his face, and he kept it there for so long that I thought about getting up and leaving.
When he did look up, he said “Okay then, this is how it’s going to go. We’ll marry. It’s only right because I did propose to you, and of course that factored into your decision not to end it. My family isn’t poor, and a Mozdol is well rewarded. Your family will get a nice dowry, and I’ll see to it that you and the baby have all you need. You’ll stay in Vinx. You can raise the child here, where your family can help you.”
“You won’t live with me?”
“Vinx is on the farthest edge of Ilari, Coral, and most of the time I’ll need to be closer to Pilk, where the action is. Yet it makes no sense to bring you there, with me gone so much. Nor should you have to live in Lev. I’m there even less, and you don’t know any of the Levish. So, I’ll see you as often as I can, but you need to adjust your expectations.”
I wondered what sort of arrangement he asked me to agree to. “This will be a real marriage?”
“Of course. We’ll hold a legal wedding in Vinx, as soon as your family is ready.”
“When do I get to come to Lev to meet your parents?”
“Uh. Give me a little time. My family is more socially conscious than yours, and they’ll consider your situation more awkward than practical farm folks do. But don’t worry. We’ll work it out.”
I believed him, though at the time I had no idea of the various things he’d be “working out.”
When my mother came home from the market a few anks later glowing with happiness, I knew she’d shared plans for my upcoming wedding with anyone who’d listen. My dad and the farmhands harvested the wheat; adequate spring rains and a lack of hail storms left us with an ample crop. Once they put the wheat in storage, things would calm down on the farm and we’d plan my ceremony in earnest. It would be held at Plono.
“I spoke with the Velka in the marketplace,” my mother said. This surprised me. Some of the locals were a little afraid of the Velka, and others who’d lost family members to them were sad, but only my mother seemed angry with them and had been for as long as I could remember.
“Did they have news of Ryalgar?”
“The two of them, selling their usual potions, told me Ryalgar was doing well, adjusting and learning their ways.” She hesitated. “Under the circumstances, I guess we have to hope for that, right?
I nodded. There didn’t seem to be a better answer.
“She’s able to have visitors,” my mother said. “Did you know that?”
“She told me. Are you going to go see her?”
“Me? Oh, definitely not. She’s invited you to come, however, one ank from today. She’ll meet you at the forest’s edge where she went in. She’s heard of your situation. I’ve no idea how. She wishes to speak with you about it.”
I hadn’t expected this. Would she be helpful with my pregnancy? Angry about my deception with Davor? Or appreciative of the way I’d tried to spare her feelings?
“Do you want to go?” my mother asked.
“Of course.” I hesitated for a heartbeat. “Mom? Why do you hate the Velka so much?”
She looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I could tell she hadn’t expected such a bold question.
“I don’t hate them. But, under your circumstances, perhaps you should know the story.”
“What do you mean?”
“They once failed me in the same way they failed you.”
“What? You were pregnant with Ryalgar before you got married?” I don’t know why, but this made me feel better.
“No. I misspoke. What I meant was, after I had my first three children, I didn’t want any more. I mean, what woman would? Your father wanted a son though, so I agreed to try one more time.”
This was fairly common knowledge in the family. Mom’s reluctant fourth try for a son had yielded twin daughters instead.
“I went to the Velka after the twins were born and begged them to make sure those were the last children I ever had. I wasn’t cut out to raise a big family. I sunk under the weight; I didn’t think I’d survive. They promised me. They promised.”
“Oh dear.” I’d always assumed my next sister resulted from a more reluctant fifth try for a son. It hurt to know she was an outright mistake. “Poor you. Poor Dad. He didn’t want you to end the pregnancy?”
“He begged me not to. I didn’t blame him. We should never have been put in that horrible position.” She smoothed her dress as if her hands could smooth over the conversation as well. “Your beautiful wanted child will have much love. Let’s not ever speak of this other situation again.”
*******
Ryalgar met me as planned, and I followed her into the forest on the small donkey she provided. Watching the single thick, long braid of her dark hair sway across her back as she rode, I realized I knew the perfect Velka to ask about being a luski. Would Ryalgar laugh at my question? I hoped not.
At the end of our short journey, I discovered Ryalgar lived in a beautiful stone lodge filled with
friendly women. She had a lovely room of her own, with fresh linens and a guest bed in which I could stay. Her existence lacked any of the oddity I expected.
I’d barely plopped my things in a corner when I burst out with the question at the front of my mind.
“Do you know what a luski is?” Asking about it made me nervous.
“Why?”
I tried to keep the flush off of my face. “Someone I work with said they thought I might be one.”
She laughed. “Oh, I don’t think so, Coral. I know a lot of people don’t believe luskies are real, but we Velka know they are. I’ve learned it’s a rare gift, though, and luskies are powerful women. Not that you’re weak or anything, but ….”
“Never mind.” I’d grown tired of being told I wasn’t strong enough and didn’t want to listen to her explain why I couldn’t have this talent. Was it so important to her to be the only one in the family with magic tendencies?
“You misunderstand me,” she said. “I’m pretty sure motherhood, actual motherhood, is a qualification.” She pointed to my still-flat belly. “You’re not eligible. Yet.”
I supposed I preferred that to being told I was too weak, but I dropped the subject anyway. She didn’t bring it up again.
We sat on one of the Velka’s many porches after dinner that night, listening to the crickets chirp as we sipped the rest of our dinner wine and enjoyed the scent of the wild lavender now blooming all around the lodge.
I’d already learned that the open forest housed over a thousand Velka, far more than people thought. This evening Ryalgar told me that while many lived in the lodges and cabins I’d seen, others preferred life alone deep in the woods.
“We’re as varied as any other group. Who’d have thought?”
“Yet …. no men.”
That was the next surprise.
Ryalgar told me that while the Velka welcomed no man deep in the forest, plenty of the women enjoyed male company, and not just for sex. Cabins near the forest’s edge allowed fathers, brothers, friends, and lovers all to mingle. Ryalgar hoped Dad would come to see her one day.
Also, she was free to come and go as she pleased.
“By custom, the Velka seldom leave the forest, but obviously some of us have to come into the markets and others travel to the far corners of Ilari to provide help where we’re needed. We’re encouraged to be here most of the time because our power dissipates when we’re gone for long. But I’ll be at your wedding if you’d like me to.”
“I’d like nothing better!”
She asked about Davor and I answered, feeling more comfortable sharing confidences as the growing darkness pushed against the last of the summery dusk.
“A soldier? He’s not the sort I’d have picked for you. Do you love him?”
“I think so. I know I did at first. He’s so tough, and yet he has more style than the farmers in Vinx.”
Ryalgar didn’t respond. Instead, she used the candle she’d brought out to light a second one that she gave to me. “I’ve made you a packet of things to take, to keep you and your baby healthy through the pregnancy,” she said. “Promise me you’ll use them.”
“Of course. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Davor when you were still with us. And I’m sorry about Nevik. I wished it could have worked out for you.”
She smiled a strange smile behind the flicker of her candle.
“Perhaps it has. He’s visited me twice now, and our time together is more precious than ever.”
“How can that be? All of Ilari gossips about the princess he met from outside the realm and how the two of them fell madly in love. A wedding is expected.”
“I know. Things are not always what they seem, Coral. Nevik is playing a role he must play. Please understand; my happiness depends on your discretion.”
“Oh. You have it, of course.” Suddenly Ryalgar’s decision to live without men made a lot more sense. “Is that why you joined the Velka? So you could be the mistress of a prince?”
“No.” She said it sharply. “I joined the Velka because they can teach me to develop certain powers I have. The occasional night with Nevik is a bonus and one that’s likely to become less frequent. Aside from keeping up appearances with his new wife, there’s this group of marauders moving westward every winter, stealing crops. Soon they’ll threaten our realm.”
At the mention of these invaders, I squirmed in my rocking chair. “Davor spoke of them, too. Frightening horsemen from the east.”
“That’s them. Nevik is the second son of the Ruling Prince of Pilk, so he’s been put in charge of ensuring the Svadlu are properly trained to repel them. It will take most of his time until the attack comes and it could be as soon as this winter.”
My stomach fluttered in fear. “Davor says that’s why he’ll need to keep a second home in Pilk. Most of his time will be spent on this, too.”
Full darkness had come so we each stood, holding our candles high to make our way back inside.
“Then they must know each other,” Ryalgar said. “Or if they don’t, they will soon.”
I nodded in agreement. “Oh, I hope they turn out to be good friends. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
Chapter 4. Almost Everything
School resumed after I returned from my visit to the forest. There wouldn’t be another farming-related pause in classes until the oats ripened in the fall. Davor had promised to come meet my family when we finished with the wheat harvest and he did.
He laid the charm on thick when he greeted my mother, and she melted under his flattery the way most people did. She hastened to prepare the guest room and then began discussing wedding plans with him. I’m sure she attributed his relative lack of interest in them to his gender. I noticed he never mentioned how excited he was to wed me, but if she noticed the omission, she hid it well.
Once my mother retreated to the kitchen to make sure the dinner was fit for a guest, he greeted my blushing sisters. Well, some blushed. Others scrutinized this older Mozdol who’d gotten their sister pregnant. Sulphur, the sister only a year younger than me, seldom paid attention to any man we courted. But tonight her unfashionably short blonde hair bobbed up and down as she nodded along with Davor’s every word. I wondered why.
My father worked in the fields when Davor arrived. The oats had to be planted right after the wheat harvest, and my dad probably wished Davor knew more about grain farming and had waited another ank to come.
Maybe it was Dad’s fatigue, but Davor failed to charm him. When he asked my dad to bless our nuptial plans, my father responded politely but I could sense no warmth between them.
Davor barely touched me the entire evening, even during the few moments when my family gave us time alone. He asked after my health, but otherwise had little to say. I went to my room feeling empty inside. As I got ready for bed, the desire to throw something at someone overwhelmed me. I settled for hurling my slipper at the wall before I flopped onto the mattress filled with a frustration I couldn’t quite name.
Davor left early the next morning, before he and I had a chance to talk.
Back at school, I felt nauseous and out of sorts. Davor’s visit to the farm had driven home the fact that he no longer wanted me. As I stood outside supervising the children's play, I stewed over the reasons why.
Had he really decided I wasn’t fit to be a Svadlu’s wife? If that was the only problem, I knew I could show him otherwise. But what if he’d fallen out of love with me for other reasons? What if he’d given me an excuse he hoped I’d believe? Perhaps another soft and sweet woman had taken my place in his heart.
The idea made me wince. If she existed, she couldn’t have him. I wanted my child to have the life Davor could provide as a father. For the sake of my baby, I’d win the tug of war for Davor’s heart.
“You doing okay?” Sakina walked over to me from the other side of the play area. “Problems in your classroom?”
Scump. She’d probably noticed my wild gesturing as I held angry conversations in my hea
d. The other teachers all said she and I had the toughest jobs, me because I handled the scared little ones and her because she dealt with those who’d almost outgrown the school. Our shared challenges had strengthened our concern for each other.
“No. Thanks for asking, though.”
She stood, waiting for more information. I relented; I probably should have told her already.
“Look, I’ve been keeping it secret for a lot of reasons, but I want you to know. I’m pregnant, and I’ll be married by autumn. I’ll be leaving my position soon.”
She seemed sad at the idea of my going, but she said the right thing.
“That’s wonderful, Coral. Congratulations. It’s got to be that guy you’ve been sneaking off with, huh? You look so in love with him.”
I had to laugh. “How many people know about him?”
“Pretty much everyone.” She laughed too. “I’ll miss you, but I wish you every happiness. You deserve it.”
I thanked her. I thought I deserved every happiness too, even if it looked like I wasn’t going to get it.
As the days wore on, Davor’s lack of interest in me occupied my thoughts.
Yes, I’d probably waited too long to tell my family about him. I should have been less concerned with Ryalgar’s feelings and more worried about my future.
Yes, continuing the pregnancy could have been a bad idea. Maybe I should have won his heart back first, and then gotten pregnant again.
Then I asked myself the hardest question of all. Did I still love him or did hurt pride fuel my anger? Perhaps my affection had cooled as well and I’d been slow to admit it.
Well, he had offered me financial support without a marriage. I could reconsider, raise a child without him, and find another husband. Some wouldn’t want a wife with a baby, but others would welcome the proof of my fertility.
Yet, the wedding plans were so far along. My mother and sisters adored him. Would he be relieved if I canceled it? Or angry at me for hurting his pride? Perhaps so angry that he wouldn’t support our child?
