“You should know that I’ve been invited to dinner with you and your parents tonight, too.” His voice was husky.
The news surprised her. “Oh? Are you going to come?”
“Don’t worry,” he chuckled. “I have reports to write.”
“You sound like you think I wouldn’t want you there.” Tori sank deeper into the sofa. She was actually considering not showing up, either, but then again, that would hurt Mom and part of the reason she’d stayed in Rainey was for her parents.
“Are you saying that you would?”
She could feel his eyes on her as she stared into the fire he’d made.
Would she? What exactly was she thinking? She edged forward on the sofa and rested her elbows on her knees. “Ryan, believe it or not, I do have regrets about...” us “...regrets about everything.”
When he didn’t respond, she risked a glance at him.
He stared into the fire as if he was afraid to hear what else she might say. The flames flickered softly and the ambience was more than romantic. She should get up. Move around. Ask him to leave. Something.
So she did. Tori moved to stand closer to the fire and rubbed her arms. Maybe she should explain her comment about regrets. “Sarah’s death has given me a different perspective on life.”
As it well should.
A few seconds ticked by, then Ryan’s voice was gentle. “Don’t tell me you regret taking the FBI job.”
She heard no antagonism or resentment in his tone, which invited her to share her deepest thoughts. “The work has been fulfilling. But now I see that my family should have mattered more to me.”
Tears freely leaked from the corners of her eyes.
That you should have mattered more.
Suddenly Ryan was there, next to her by the fire. He gently wiped one tear away before turning her to face him. “Your family knows how much you love them, Tori. They’re so proud of you. Sarah...she was proud of you.”
Why did he have to be so kind and sensitive?
He cupped her jaw and brushed away the tears. Though her mind screamed warning signals, she felt equally compelled to stay right where she was. She ached for his touch, his gentleness. Her heart was like parched, cracked ground and Ryan was a pitcher of cool water.
His lips pressed against hers. She expected a quick kiss of reassurance, but he lingered. Her hands slid over his shoulders and around his neck, pulling him closer. Heart pounding, she soaked in this man. Everything about Ryan that she’d thought she loved at one time.
Oh, how she’d missed him.
He was the one to ease away first, but then he pressed his forehead against hers. She kept her eyes closed while she steadied her heart and held back more tears. Stupid, uncontrollable emotions.
She hated being so vulnerable.
When he released her and stepped away, she opened her eyes. His tortured expression spoke volumes. He was as confused by their kiss as she was.
“I’m so sorry, Ryan,” she said. “Kissing you doesn’t help. We’re trying to work together on this, unofficially, and I don’t want to make things more complicated.” She should stop talking if all she was going to do was fumble around.
Ryan scraped both hands through his hair, his frustration evident.
Oh. Now she’d hurt him. That hadn’t been her intention. Would she ever be anything to him but a huge pain? Surely he didn’t want a second chance with her.
“Look, Ryan, not that you’re asking me, but I don’t deserve a second chance with you.” Especially since she wasn’t sure that she wanted one.
* * *
Far more than the words themselves, Ryan was stung by the tone in her voice, and the complete lack of warmth in her eyes. This was her way of trying to brush him off. He blamed himself for getting in this situation in the first place. He could have put another deputy on the house while Jackson got her car. Ryan didn’t have to personally sit in the house with her on the comfy sofa with a fire. And he definitely should never have kissed her—a woman whose sister’s murder he was in charge of investigating. He should have never kissed her—the woman who almost destroyed him four years ago.
And he should walk out now, but he couldn’t leave without addressing her comment. “Don’t worry. I learned my lesson long ago.” He grinned, hoping to dial down the tension. If he let it get the best of him, this wouldn’t end well.
But he wouldn’t let her hurt him again. He would never trust her with his heart. He’d known better than to get his hopes up, which was how he knew he was going to be okay, despite her rejection today.
Regardless, he had to rein this conversation in before it became a full-blown argument. He needed to keep this civil because of what he was about to tell her. So far, he’d kept his distance from her personal investigation into Sarah’s murder, but now he needed to shut her down.
First things first. “Your father came by the county offices to see me today.”
That brought her chin up. “What did he want?”
“He wants what I want for you. Your safety. That’s only going to happen if you stay out of this.”
“You told me earlier you knew you couldn’t stop me,” she said. “And you can’t.”
“Yeah, well, there was another attempt on your life today, remember? That’s two in one day. Someone tried to run you over and when that didn’t work, they plowed right into the café! So that changes everything. I can’t imagine what Sarah was into that someone is so determined to hide, but so far they’ve killed four people and now they’re going after an FBI agent. This isn’t an investigation you can handle as a private citizen. It’s just too dangerous.”
“They might not know that I’m FBI, Ryan. You give them too much credit when it seems they are becoming careless, which is good for us. We can get the killer sooner.”
He took a step closer and tried to skewer her with his eyes. “I’m telling you right now, do not think about continuing to look into her death. Step back from it and hand over everything you’ve learned so far.”
She stepped closer as well and stood taller, unwilling to back down. “Maybe I can never get her back, but I can find her killer. Please don’t try to stop me.”
“You’re exasperating, you know that? Let me do it, Tori. This is my job, not yours.”
“Who’s stopping you from doing your job? Not me.” She thrust her hands on her hips, as if to dare him to stand in her way.
“You’ve always doubted me. Doubted my abilities. You think you’re more qualified to find her killer than I am.” His gut twisted as he laid his insecurities out there for her to tromp on.
She raised her arms into the air and moved away to pace behind the sofa. “It has nothing to do with that, Ryan. Nothing at all. I explained this to you. Why do we keep coming back to this?”
“You’re right. It does feel like the same old argument.” Like the one they’d had when she left him to move and take a new job. He’d thought he’d gotten over that. But it was painfully obvious to them both that that wound remained and still festered.
Why hadn’t he gotten over that hurt? Gotten over her? He must somehow shove aside those forbidden feelings to stay focused on this investigation.
He crossed his arms. “If you’re going to do this then I insist you share information with me or I’m going to slap you with obstruction charges.”
She narrowed her eyes. “You wouldn’t.”
“Try me.” Ryan set his jaw.
Releasing a slow breath, she said, “I haven’t learned anything that could be useful to you, Ryan.”
“You were in Shady Creek to follow a lead. That much is obvious. Someone tried to kill you while you were there—to prevent you from finding out more? Don’t lie to me.”
Her throat moved up and down with her swallow. “Okay. Okay. It’s a slim lead, at best. I found out that Sarah participated in an envi
ronmental protest in Sacramento with a group called A Better World. Did you know about any of that?” she asked.
“No. My investigation hasn’t gotten into the victims’ hobbies or personal causes yet. We’ve been confirming alibis of all those nearest to the four. Talked to families, significant others, people at their places of employment. I questioned those who worked with Sarah at GenDynamics.” Before the attacks on Tori, he was looking into all possibilities for the four victims but looking more closely at Mason’s life.
“Her part-time work as an accountant didn’t matter to her nearly as much as her volunteering. Sarah was always into social justice and protecting the environment.”
“What was the protest about?” Ryan tugged out his pad and pencil.
She arched a brow as if surprised that he was taking this lead seriously, but this could all be important. She obviously thought so, and he wanted to know everything.
“Pollution. I don’t know all the details. I think this protest had to do with pesticides used on commercial farms. I haven’t spent a lot of time on that. Not yet.”
No. She had to go to Shady Creek because she’d found something else. “What triggered you to look into that?”
She scrunched her face. “I’ve been reading all her emails to me. I never delete emails, so I started as far back as I could find, searching for any hint of activity that might seem suspicious or indicate danger. She doesn’t always tell me everything, of course, especially these last few years. I’d been—” she shoved back tears “—My job kept me fully occupied.”
Groaning, she rolled her head back and stared at the ceiling and swiped at the tears, clearly frustrated with her emotional state.
His heart kinked. He’d never seen her like this, but then she’d never endured such a tragic loss.
“She mentioned marching in a protest with the environmental group. So I contacted the guy who ran the group. It was clear he knew Sarah, but he didn’t offer me answers. Just said he couldn’t help me. The conversation had a nuance to it that told me he knew something.”
“So you drove out to see him today?”
She nodded. “I had hoped to meet with him, but he’d refused. I figured if I found him and saw him face-to-face, he might be more willing to give me information.”
“And what is this guy’s name?”
“Dee James.”
“Tell me the conversation exactly.” Ryan waited with pen ready.
Tori shared as much as she recalled. On the one hand, the guy could be telling the truth about not knowing anything, but Ryan agreed with Tori. There was the hint of something more and it was worth questioning him.
Going there alone to do that had been a dangerous move on her part, but he pushed down his fury at the situation. Beating her up now wouldn’t serve any purpose. Still, Ryan couldn’t help the admiration that swelled inside at her ability to find a promising lead while he’d only hit dead ends. He simply didn’t have enough investigators to dig so deeply. It would take time.
“Good work, Tori.”
She hung her head. “Look. I know you don’t have the manpower to do this kind of searching. Nor do you have access to communications from Sarah like I do, so please, let me help. I’m sorry... I’m sorry about—”
The kiss.
“It’s not your fault, and I’m sorry, too. Let’s just forget it ever happened and move on.” He was the one to approach her and kiss her, after all. He wouldn’t let her carry the blame.
Arms crossed, she shrugged, her right cheek rubbing against her shoulder. The familiar action brought back a flood of memories. “Listen, are you coming to dinner then?” she asked.
“I think I will.” It would mean he’d know when she was coming back to the bungalow afterward—that way, he could clear her home again before she settled in for the evening. He would also make sure someone watched her home at all times. “If that’s all right with you.”
He half expected a frown, but she offered a tenuous grin. “Only if you promise not to say a word to my parents about what happened today. All they need to know is to remain cautious for their own safety because Sarah was a target, which they already know.”
“You drive a hard bargain.” They might see something on the news channels, but that was in Shady Creek so who knew if it would make the evening news.
Her parents were likely to ask a million questions about the investigation. Maybe eating with them was a bad idea. “Let’s make sure to let them know we don’t want to talk about the investigation and that it’s just a pleasant meal between friends.”
Except if they connected just as friends, without the investigation as a distraction, that would mean dredging up the past and too many memories.
EIGHT
Roast beef, potatoes and carrots had been served and eaten. Oh, and homemade rolls, too. Tori’s mother had outdone herself, but Tori thought the dinner would never end. She had made it clear that she and Ryan didn’t want to discuss the murder investigation.
Besides, she didn’t want to scare them or make them worry more than they already were.
So they’d talked about Sarah. Rehashed old but good memories of life growing up. When the conversation had finally waned, Tori yawned.
That had been a perfect segue into announcing it was time to leave. She and Ryan said their good-nights to her parents. This felt far too much like the good ole days when they had dated and grown serious, and her heart was heavy with memories. Add to that, she’d had a hard time shaking thoughts of the earlier kiss she’d shared with Ryan by the fireplace.
At least she had her own vehicle—she’d insisted on driving it to Mom and Dad’s rather than riding with Ryan. After they left, Ryan followed her back to Sarah’s house in his vehicle. The deputy who had delivered her car remained parked next to the curb. His presence would presumably serve as a deterrent to another break-in or something even more nefarious.
She hoped.
Tori parked in the driveway and waited for Ryan. After parking at the curb he jogged over to her. “Deputy Jackson will stay here and watch your house this evening. He’ll be trading off with another deputy close to midnight. I’m not sure whom yet, but I wanted you to know.”
At her porch, she nodded. “I truly didn’t mean to cause you problems by staying in town. You probably don’t need to waste manpower on me, though I appreciate it. I realize that your investigation would be easier without having to worry about me being here.”
Ryan said nothing. But he studied her.
Averting her gaze from the handsome detective she might have married, she stared out at the streetlights that barely illuminated the neighborhood and rubbed her arms against the chilly night air. “I know you think it would be easier for you if I went home to South Carolina and maybe even took Mom and Dad with me. But I would be no use to my employer in my current frame of mind. I won’t be until this is over. If this is all resolved before my bereavement leave is over, then that’s different. I’ll be settled and can be of use to my employer.” But she had a feeling that she would end up staying no matter what.
“I don’t think my investigation would be easier without you,” he finally said. “Obviously you’ve run across information that could help us, but I’m worried about you, Tori. I can’t...” His frown lines deepened, then he appeared to rein in his emotions.
What was he going to say? I can’t lose you, too? She wasn’t sure her heart could take this painful dance she and Ryan found themselves in. Bad enough she might not come out of this ordeal unscathed beyond the agony she already suffered at losing Sarah.
“I promise I’ll stay alert,” she said. “In fact, I’ll try to go through Sarah’s home again and be more thorough this time. If I can’t find anything to help us, then I’ll move to a safer location.”
“Good. In the meantime, we’ll bring Dee James in for questioning.”
“No, please
,” she said. “Let me handle him.”
Ryan stiffened.
She’d better reel him in. “If you want me to share information then please let me handle gathering it. I think this guy is spooked. If you bring him in, he’ll lawyer up and you won’t get a word out of him. But if I approach him alone, he might be willing to talk. I don’t think he had anything to do with what happened today.”
“How can you be sure?” Ryan asked.
“I can’t, but something in his tone on the phone let me know that he cared about my sister. As I’ve already said, I got the feeling he knows something, but he could be scared and might even run. In fact, he could already have disappeared.” She hoped that wasn’t the case.
“All right,” he said. “I’ll give you two days to try to make contact again.”
“Come on. You know it could take me that long to hear from him. Give me a week.”
He huffed an incredulous laugh. “Are you kidding me? A week is too long. Two days, plus you have to bring me with you if you arrange a meeting. Anything face-to-face and I’m there with you, Tori. It’s much too dangerous otherwise. Do you understand?”
She chewed on her lip. Could she agree to that? “Fair enough.”
“I’m only agreeing to this because I believe that you’re right that he could clam up if I brought him back to the sheriff’s offices for questioning.”
She saw in his eyes that he hoped she wouldn’t make him regret this decision. Tori turned and unlocked the door, disarmed the alarm system. Ryan conducted his usual bungalow clearing and this time, he didn’t linger but instead wished her a good evening and left.
She closed the door and locked it, rearmed the system, then peeked out the window. Ryan was talking to the deputy through the vehicle window, his gaze searching the area as he talked. The neighbors had to be wondering what in the world was going on. But that was good. They would be more vigilant about keeping their eyes on the house. That way, they could spot anyone lurking around looking for trouble, out of view of the deputy parked at the curb.
Target on the Mountain Page 9
