Daughter of Ninmah

by Lori Holmes

  A feeble voice interrupted them. “Am I in t-trouble?”

  Omaal’s eyes were blinking open. He was still sleepy but Nyri could feel a growing undercurrent of anxiety. “Daajir was mad at me. I was only playing. And t-then, and then…”

  Kyaati reached out to brush his cheek. “Shhhh. No, little one, no one is mad at you. You be a good boy now and rest. We’ll watch over you until your mama and papa get here.”

  The boy clutched at her hand and drifted again. They waited until he fell back to sleep before Kyaati grabbed Nyri by the wrist. Wait until I get my hands on him!

  Nyri sighed. She didn’t want any more fighting. Save your breath. Daajir is Daajir. It’s too late for him to change. He takes our situation hard. As if that wasn’t true for all of them. Nyri changed the subject. She was focusing overmuch on what had passed. Her hands were beginning to shake again so she clenched her fists. She could not let herself succumb to the shock. And anyway, I don’t think he’d mind you getting your hands on him.

  Nyri thought back to before the attack and the appreciative look in Daajir’s eyes as he and Kyaati had walked together. Kyaati was very beautiful. The lavender shade of her large eyes was the envy of all tribeswomen. Her hair was a shocking waterfall of a now rare silver, offsetting her red-gold skin.

  Not that any of that really mattered. Kyaati’s most seductive feature when it came to attracting a mate was her strength. The essence of the Great Spirit flowed truly within her soul. She also bore no defects. It couldn’t have escaped Daajir’s notice that Kyaati was now unJoined. Her certainty hardened. In fact, I think he’d like it rather a lot if you got your hands on him.

  Nyri received the mental equivalent of a pinch.

  “Ow!”

  Don’t even think it. After I lost Yaanth, I swore I would never take another mate. No matter what happens. Kyaati stroked her swollen belly, a look of eternal sadness and loss shadowing her face.

  Maybe this hadn’t been the best subject to have started after all. Nyri, however, frowned. Even if the Elders decide it’s a good match? How could you refuse? You are strong, Kya. Ninmah blessed you with a powerful Gift, as She did Daajir. They would have Joined you to him before if you hadn’t gone off with Yaanth and had Sefaan Join you in secret. Now that Yaanth is… gone, it might be a match they feel they cannot afford to pass up.

  Kyaati stiffened and Nyri felt her anxiety spike. My father would never do that to me.

  Kyaati’s father, Nyri’s own father’s brother, was an Elder. Pelaan loved his daughter dearly but Nyri doubted Kyaati’s wishes in this matter would sway him from a ‘strong match’ to ensure the survival of their people. He had been furious when Kyaati had gone behind his back and Joined with Yaanth, whom he had seen as far beneath her potential. Kyaati was his only surviving child and, as such, his only chance to pass on his progeny to future generations. Nyri believed Pelaan would do anything to achieve that goal. Even Join his daughter against her wishes.

  Nyri prayed that nothing went wrong with Kyaati’s pregnancy. If she bore a healthy living child, then maybe she would be freed of this obligation. Maybe.

  Kyaati’s next thought startled her. And what if the Elders decide you should be Joined?

  Nyri’s thoughts scattered. What?

  Oh, come, Nyriaana! You think I am strong? I am only half of what you are. You’re quite possibly the strongest female in the tribe besides Sefaan, with an aptitude for healing, too. Ninmah has indeed favoured you. Did you honestly think Baarias chose you as his akaabi just because he felt sorry for you? Do not be so foolish. You were the only one with the potential to learn his work.

  Nyri did not answer. She stared ahead, a dreadful anxiety quickening in her stomach with Kyaati’s every word.

  And don’t tell me it has also escaped your notice that you have now reached childbearing age. Kyaati continued. It has not escaped others’ attention, believe me. Daajir has never yet been Joined. The strongest male. Isn’t that strange. They are waiting for one worthy enough. You are certainly more than worthy.

  But, but… we barely made it as friends, Nyri argued. How could we possibly be Joined?

  Kyaati snorted. I don’t think that would be taken into consideration.

  What about Raanya, Nyri thought desperately, clutching at anything she could think of. She is unJoined and older than I.

  Raanya is not meant for Daajir. She is not that strong. You’ve been spared so far because Baarias took you under his wing and you needed to learn his art without distraction. But his teaching of you is nearly complete. It may well be time for you to fulfil your ultimate obligation to our people – securing our future, if you can.

  Nyri blanched. This was one worry that had never crossed her unsuspecting mind. The grishnaa now seemed a small threat by comparison. Why had she never considered this possibility? And who was there other than Daajir? He was certainly the best choice for strong children. She had known him her entire life but she could not imagine being Joined to him as his mate.

  Nyri shuddered. They might have moved beyond mere kinsmen and become friends but there were still parts of his soul that turned hers to ice and those parts of him were growing in dominance the more desperate their situation became. His reaction to Omaal was just one example. There were times when Nyri felt that she did not know him at all. Times when he seemed to be more fanatical than all of the Elders put together. No. She could not bear the thought of being Joined to him in mind and soul.

  What can we do?

  I don’t know, Kyaati thought sadly. All I do know is that we have enough to concern ourselves with at the moment. She touched Omaal’s forehead and shivered as a cold wind blew in from outside. I have to concentrate on bringing this child into the world safely. My last connection to Yaanth. That is all there is for me.

  A fresh wave of fear for her friend very nearly overwhelmed Nyri in that moment. There were times she could not comprehend how Kyaati was still standing. The words she had spoken to Daajir that morning were true. If their places were reversed, Nyri was not sure she would be. Too many babies and children had been Cast to the river. Their bodies given back to the Great Spirit before they even drew their first breath.

  Kyaati had already Cast three.

  * * *

  6

  Blessing

  Baarias returned to his tree bearing the herbs he had gathered. Kyaati was just slipping out into the evening light. The girl pressed a finger to her lips as she passed him and pointed back into the chamber beyond. Nyri had fallen into a doze next to the healed child. Baarias squeezed Kyaati’s hand in acknowledgment.

  His student was exhausted from her ordeal. He winced at the sight of the position she had fallen into. It looked painfully awkward and she would suffer for it later. The healer in him longed to wake her and send her back to her own tree where she would be more comfortable but as her guardian and teacher, he knew that she was not ready to be left alone. Her mind needed time to recover.

  Keeping his tread soft, Baarias stooped down next to her and brushed a strand of dark hair away from her face. He resisted touching her cheek as his heart contracted painfully. So like Rebaa…

  “Omaal!”

  The sound of Umaa’s frantic voice startled Baarias and he took a hasty step back. Nyri was shaken from her doze, her dark indigo eyes flying open at the intrusion. Upon seeing Omaal’s mother rushing into the tree, she rose to her feet. Her bowed head and flushed cheeks told Baarias all he needed to know: she blamed herself for the danger the child had been in. He pressed his lips together, promising himself he would speak with her later.

  Imaani joined his mate at their son’s side. Baarias took in their strikingly similar faces and resisted the urge to cast his eyes to Ninmah. Half brother and sister. But what did that small issue matter to the Elders when the strength of Imaani’s and Umaa’s Gift was so evenly matched?

  He hid his feelings behind a serene smile as Umaa rushed to her son, hands fluttering over him as she asked: “Will he live?”
>
  “Of course he will live, Umaa,” Baarias assured. “He’s just scratched and in shock but Nyriaana and I fixed him up like new. He’s resting now.” He emphasised Nyri’s involvement in Omaal’s recovery, hoping it would ease her misplaced feeling of guilt. Disappointment thudded through him when the praise had no effect and her eyes remained downcast.

  “Thank you,” Umaa whispered to them both.

  “Mama.” Omaal blinked his blind eyes open.

  “I’m here,” Umaa comforted as Imaani leaned forward to better see his son.

  “What were you doing so far from Batai?” Imaani scolded.

  Omaal sniffed. “I was following a maamit. Batai was asleep and I got bored. I didn’t know I had gone so far” Omaal moaned. “I could see so high into the trees. I-I did not see the ground!”

  Imaani’s exasperation filled the tree around them. “What have I told you about getting so lost in another creature’s senses that you forget your own, foolish boy?”

  A tear leaked from Omaal’s sightless eyes. “I’m sorry, papa,” he whimpered as Umaa hugged him tight, shushing comfortingly.

  “I think a valuable lesson has been learned today.” Baarias decided to step in. He could understand Imaani’s frustration with his son’s actions, knowing how they had almost cost Omaal his life, but the boy did not need any further trauma if he was to recover. “Scold him no more, Imaani, he is just a boy. Take him home, let him rest. Come to me if anything changes.”

  Umaa rose to her feet and Imaani moved in to scoop his son from the nest of moss and leaves.

  “Thank you, master akaab.” Umaa’s eyes were filled with tears as she came to stand before him and held up her hands. Baarias raised his own, meeting her gesture fingertip to fingertip, bowing his head so that she could rest her forehead against his in thanks. He felt his heart lift as her gratitude flowed through him. But as Umaa stepped away to follow the rest of her family outside, Baarias’ smile dropped. He had helped so many in his life as a healer but it would never be enough, never enough to heal his soul.

  Dusk had fallen in the forest beyond and it was getting harder to see inside. Nyri was moving about the walls, brushing the girru moss into life. It began to glow beneath her slender fingers, seeking more of her warmth and attention. Its soft light filled the inside of the tree, the released spores dancing through the air.

  Baarias knelt on the ground and began sorting the herbs he had gathered into bundles. Finishing with the moss, Nyri came to kneel at his side. She did not speak. Only the sound of the dried herbs brushing together broke the stillness. Baarias watched her carefully out of the corner of his eye. Her movements were as deft as ever but her energy was far from peaceful. Anxiety hummed around her like a swarm of restless bees.

  “What’s troubling you Nyriaana?”

  Her hands twisted sharply around the herbs she was bundling. Sharp anger zinged on the air. It was clear that she had not wanted him to pry. He was so surprised by her reaction that he forgot to scold her for ruining his herbs. But as quickly as her anger had arisen, she let it out on a breath. Now she was…embarrassed.

  Baarias was puzzled. What did she have to be embarrassed about? She had saved Omaal from certain death. “Are you sure you weren’t hurt?” he prompted carefully, not wishing to rouse her strained temper again. “Maybe you should go home now and rest a while. You’ve been through a lot. A grishnaa-”

  “No, Baarias.” She cut him off with a shake of her head. “There were times I thought Omaal and I…”

  He watched as she visibly shuddered. His hands twitched, wanting to reach out to her in comfort. His heart thudded as the thought struck that it had not only been Omaal who had escaped with his life today. He could have lost her-

  “But that’s not what troubles me!” Her voice broke into his thoughts. “It’s…” She hesitated for a moment then the words flowed out in a sudden rush. “Kyaati just made me face a reality I never considered before but now she’s spoken of it, I cannot think of anything else.”

  “What reality could be more disturbing than a grishnaa attack?” His voice bubbled with an incredulous laugh.

  “That I may have to be Joined soon!” Her dark eyes were wide with horror. “Joined and expected to bear children.”

  “Ah.” Her words hit him in the gut. Anguish tore through him. Covering his tension, Baarias made a show of arranging his bundles of herbs upon the ground while he gathered his thoughts. He had hoped they would not have to face this for many seasons to come. He studied his student surreptitiously under his lashes.

  How she had grown and he had not even realised it. Before him sat a young woman, beautiful and capable. His heart swelled with bittersweet pride. No wonder Aardn had started querying her readiness, wanting to know when her training as a healer would be complete. “Time has caught up with us indeed,” he sighed.

  “So it’s true then?” He heard her breath catch in her throat.

  Baarias rubbed at his face, feeling the long scar at his jaw pull slightly. He wished he could have denied reality for her and starved off the tears that were springing to her eyes but that would mean lying and that was something he would never do.

  “Yes, I’m afraid it is true. The Elders will soon wish to see you Joined. Rest assured that I,” his voice hardened, “do not.”

  “You don’t?” She was surprised by the vehemence of his tone.

  “No, I do not.” She had no idea how little he wished it. He would not wish such a fate on his worst enemy, much less upon the girl he regarded as no less than his own daughter. “I have tried to protect you from this for as long as it has been in my power. Right from when you were that lost little girl I swept up onto a stag all those years ago. Your strength and potential shone out even then and when I looked down into your broken little face, I knew I could not allow the Elders to use you in their misguided plans. I’m ashamed to say, I have played out your teaching for far longer than I should. You were ready to ascend long before now. For that I ask your forgiveness.”

  He saw her sit back in surprise at these words. Oh, Nyriaana, he thought, how little you think of yourself. He felt a pang of guilt knowing that, in holding her back, he might bear some responsibility for her doubt in herself.

  Her face, however, was already soft with forgiveness. “And now?” she asked.

  “I will try and keep you at my side for as long as I am able, if that is what you wish?”

  He had failed to protect Rebaa when she had needed him the most. His sister’s wasted face would haunt him for the rest of his life. He would not fail Nyriaana, too. He did not care if the Elders did to him what they had done to Sefaan; diminishing the tribe’s respect for him until his every word was doubted for the ramblings of a mad man.

  If she was Joined, then she would face only death and misery, just as Kyaati had. Dead baby followed by dead baby. Her tender heart would fail. He closed his eyes so that she would not be able to see the anguish in them. He realised his own hands had now crushed the herbs he still held.

  “I know you will do everything you can for me.” Her gentle voice broke through his turmoil. “You always have. But even you cannot challenge the Elders’ will. It will be done.”

  Over my dead body.

  She stared at him in open desperation. “Baarias, I am not ready for this.”

  Baarias banished his own agony with an effort. She needed his strength right now. He placed a steadying hand on her shoulder. “I know. We are seldom ready for what fate throws into our path, Nyriaana. All we can do is be strong, weather the consequences and hope that whatever power is out there sends us a miracle.”

  “Or Ariyaana.” Nyri laughed humourlessly but did not elaborate on what she meant. “I do not believe in miracles.”

  “Maybe not but try to remember, as your beloved mother once said, the future isn’t certain and we can only do what is within our power in the present moment. It is a waste of energy to worry about things that may not be.”

  At that moment, the summo
ning horn sounded from outside. Baarias pulled himself reluctantly to his feet. “We’d better get to the auscult. Time to see what the Gathering has brought in.” He offered Nyri his hand. She took it and he helped her to her feet. Together, they walked out into the evening light, following the others as they all made their way to the little clearing where the Elders were waiting by the standing stone. Ninmah hung low behind them.

  The tribe was placing its earlier harvest next to where the Elders stood, before moving to sit upon the scattered tree roots and stones forming the meeting circle.

  Baarias felt a wave of guilt roll out from beside him.

  “What’s wrong?” Baarias asked, glancing down at Nyri. She was staring at the piles of food. She had never been very good at hiding her emotions.

  “I-I had two gathering baskets,” she muttered. “I-I must have dropped them when I heard Omaal scream. They were full of food.”

  Baarias patted her shoulder. “You did what you had to, akaabi. Take Daajir and go back for them at first light. I’m sure most of what you gathered will still be there.”

  She smiled gratefully at his reassuring words.

  Everyone sat, murmuring amongst themselves as they waited for the Elders to begin the evening’s proceedings. The tribe came to this place at the end of every Gathering as Ninmah diminished but before Ninsiku rose in the heavens to look down on them with his ever blinking silver eye. It was a time for stories to be told, wisdom to be shared or important announcements to be made. The Elders looked pleased with the results of the earlier labours.

  “That is the best sight I have seen in a long time,” Kyaati said as she appeared at their sides. She was looking to the centre where the Elders had started to sort through the food, judging how best it should be divided and stored for leaner times. It did not appear that anyone would go hungry for a while. The coming Fury looked just that much more bearable.