by Lori Holmes
“Baarias,” her mother’s voice was insistent. “He is dying. You must help.”
Baarias stood, agony scrawled upon his face. “You know the consequence I would face if they ever found out.”
“To Ninsiku with them!” Her mother cried. “Show some courage, Baarias, for Rebaa’s sake. He is just a boy. He does not deserve to die. He cannot help his heritage.”
“It is because of his heritage that he is already doomed. We have no way of knowing what he may become. It may be safer for all our sakes just to let him go.”
Nyri had no idea what they were talking about. She moved over to clutch Juaan’s hand. His eyes fixed on her briefly as they rolled deliriously in his head. He smiled. “Nyri, Nyri, Nyriaana…”
“I here.” Terror washed through her. She wished she were a healer. Then she could make him better herself.
Behind them, her mother continued to argue with Baarias. “You cannot know that. We have no idea what his fate may be. The future isn’t certain. We can only do what is in our power now and it is within your power to help this child. Your own sister-son!”
But fear was the only expression on the healer’s face as he stared at the stricken Juaan. “You truly have no idea of what you ask of me. I do not have your courage, Jaai. I cannot help you. It is wrong.”
Nyri’s mother dropped her arms in defeat and Nyri began to cry. Juaan was going to die.
Baarias shifted uncomfortably. “Here,” he held out a bundle of herbs. “I will do this much. They might help. If you can break his fever, he may have a chance; he is uncommonly strong. In truth, he should be dead already.”
“Thank you,” her mother whispered, taking his offering.
He squeezed her hand. “The boy is lucky to have you watching over him,” he murmured. “Your courage may see him through yet; Rebaa would be pleased. I just hope your sacrifice does not lead to the same hardship and despair that hers did…”
* * *
Nyri felt like she had only blinked when she awoke before the dawn. Exhaustion sucked at her. She lay for a while in the cocoon of darkness trying to sort through the turmoil of her thoughts. She cringed at the memory of her fight with Kyaati. Such a lapse on her part was unforgivable, she should know better. The disappointment on Baarias’ face had been a slap across the cheek. He was right. She had to get a hold on herself. She would be of no use to anybody if she kept falling apart.
Her mind turned to the outer forest. Juaan had resided in the Pit for four days. Four days without food. If she did not get through to him, he was going to die. Nyri’s stomach lurched as she scrambled to her feet, the last vestiges of sleep falling away.
First things first, she needed more food. Cautiously, she made her way towards the nearest store. None of the rest of the tribe was awake yet.
Or so she had thought.
Umaa had just climbed back down from the store ahead of her. Omaal’s mother glanced around and then flinched when she saw Nyri.
“It’s only me, Umaa,” Nyri soothed as she approached. “You’re awake early.” She tried to sound conversational, though she was dismayed to find another up and alert before dawn. She had hoped she would be alone.
Umaa shifted. “Omaal had another nightmare. He will not go back to sleep.”
“Another? About the Woves?”
“Woves, yes.” Umaa edged away. “I’d best get back to him. Imaani is on watch.”
Nyri’s throat tightened at the thought of what Umaa’s mate was watching for. “The Woves…?” She was almost afraid of the answer.
“Still on the plains,” Umaa said before all but running in the other direction back to her unprotected son. Nyri watched her go, noting idly that the other woman did not appear to be moving easily. She shrugged it off. If Umaa had been injured, she would have come to Baarias.
Shivering from standing in the chill mist, Nyri climbed quickly into the store tree. One item. That was the limit. Her lips pulled down; one piece of food would not keep two people fed each day. She needed to take two.
It’s worth it, it’s Juaan, she chanted in her mind, it’s worth it. She stole the extra ration without another thought.
Imaani was in another part of the forest that morning and Nyri was surprised at how much easier it was to evade Javaan.
As she ran she tried to put from her mind the argument she had had with Kyaati. She had not been a naive baby. She remembered all too clearly the love and affection in Juaan’s eyes whenever he had looked at her and knew it had not been a lie. She let the warmth of the memory carry her along.
She reached the Pit and lifted back the coverings. He was waiting in the dimness.
“I came back,” she said breathlessly.
If she had hoped to see a change from the day before, she was bitterly disappointed. His posture remained defensive, aggressive; a cornered animal waiting for his enemy to strike. His eyes were filled with the same terrible hatred.
Fighting the lump forming in her throat, Nyri asked, “How are your injuries? Are you in any pain?”
His hands closed around his healing leg.
Where are you? Nyri thought, searching his eyes for a spark, anything that would let her break through. You are him so you must be in there somewhere. Whatever has made you forget, fight it!
“Please, try to remember” she begged, “It’s me. It’s your Nyri.”
His eyes narrowed dangerously.
Nyri’s breath hitched. It was becoming obvious that any mention of his true name or their childhood would only make things worse. She decided that she must avoid such things until he was ready to hear them. She shifted under his forbidding glare and tried another course. The food that she had thrown to him on her last visit remained untouched. “Aren’t you going to eat?”
His chin lifted in defiance.
Forcing down her rising despair, she assessed his condition. He felt so weak. She did not know how he was still upright, though the rock wall at his back seemed to be having a lot to do with that. Despite herself, Nyri couldn’t help but feel awed by the strength of will it must be taking. It also unnerved her. She needed to break that will before it was too late.
His rigid face was shadowed and hollow with exhaustion. His green eyes were growing increasingly dull, yet he still managed to give out his warning. Don’t come near. Leave me.
No! Nyri dug her nails into her palms. “Please, eat. Please,” she appealed. “You are dying. You cannot go on like this. Please.”
It did no good. The fading stare remained unyielding and Nyri felt tears sting her eyes as she faced the reality of losing him for a second time. She did not know how she would bear the pain. And the same curse now lay over Kyaati. She reached out a hand, wishing she could bridge the distance and touch him. “Please. What can I do to prove myself to you? I do not mean you harm. Let me help, I need to be able to help someone-”
The emotions she was fighting so hard to hold in check in the face of her people’s plight, Kyaati’s suffering and now Juaan’s slow demise got the better of her again and the tears broke loose to spill down her cold cheeks. She was losing everybody and her world was falling around her. She stifled a sob.
A movement caught her eye. Juaan had shifted infinitesimally, his features twisting between hate and confusion. Nyri blinked, fighting to clear her blurring vision. Her tears had affected him somehow. Juaan, Juaan, please.
He watched her with the same torn expression for a moment longer then closed his eyes to block her out. He leaned back, resting his head wearily against the rock wall behind.
Maybe he was just too exhausted to fight anymore and didn’t care what she did now but Nyri felt hope surge at this small gesture. Closed eyes suggested a certain amount of trust, surely. It bolstered her waning confidence. Perhaps he had decided that if she were going to hurt him or betray his presence to the rest of her tribe, she would have done it by now. Whatever the reason, she would take the opening.
Wiping her face dry, Nyri began to talk. It felt stupid just to
sit there saying nothing and now that he wasn’t glaring at her, the words came easily. “My tribe posted extra watch. It is very important that you do not draw attention to yourself. Do you hear me?”
He half opened his eyes, regarding her with a raised eyebrow. She got the uncomfortable impression that he was questioning her sanity.
The shadows of the predawn were receding and Nyri realised that her time was already running out. She had to press this small advantage she had gained. She pulled the rest of the food she had brought out from concealment. “Maybe you’d prefer these.” She displayed a bunch of fleshy vine roots. “Try them. Please.”
The longing on his face was obvious. His hunger was breaking his will; he wanted to give in. Nyri’s heart quickened and in the spur of the moment, she forgot herself.
“Juaan-”
It was a mistake. The hostility blazed back to life. Fury rolled from him such as never before. The hairs stood up on the back of her neck as the air around her grew cold.
“Get away from here, witch!” He uncoiled from the ground like a grishnaa preparing to strike. “Get. Away!”
All strength left Nyri’s hands and the food she held toppled away into the depths.
“Get away from here!” he snarled. “Elf witch! My kin will find me and when they do, you had better pray to the gods for mercy!”
He stooped to pick up a jagged rock, swinging back his arm. Nyri stumbled from the edge only just in time. She felt the rush of wind as the rock grazed her ear. Had the blow connected, it would have been fatal. Nyri gasped but did not feel the air in her lungs. She turned and fled from the Pit, hot tears of betrayal blinding her vision.
The trees swept by as she ran, whipping and cutting her face. She heeded nothing. She had been wrong. She had been so wrong. All of her childhood memories flashed through her mind, every word, every shared moment. Lies, all of it, lies.
Kyaati’s words echoed with merciless clarity. You were a naïve baby, Nyriaana, easily fooled by the poison that came from his mouth. You did not see what he was.
Now she saw it. Ninmah had been right to forbid such half-breed creatures. All that resided in that Pit was a vicious, bloodthirsty enemy. Nyri choked, feeling the blood ooze from her grazed ear. She only ran faster.
22
Missing
Nyri was gasping for breath when she reached the border of the eshaara grove. She skidded to a halt and back-peddled quickly, sensing the sentries before her. With a thrill of panic, she realised that it was not going to be as easy getting back into the settlement this time.
Four of her tribesmen were hidden on the outskirts, evenly spaced. Fighting against the hysterical sobs that wanted to break loose from her chest, she crouched in the undergrowth to wait. She hoped they might move after a time to keep an eye on other areas.
But the moments slipped by and the sentries remained. Nyri dug her nails into the earth in frustration. Oh come on! Ninmah’s warmth crept up her back. She would soon be missed and her actions would be questioned. They would find her out in a heartbeat.
Not that she really cared about that now. So what if they found him. He was nothing but a monster. But what would they do to her? She had no idea what the punishment would be for doing what she had.
If she made it through without being detected, she vowed she would never venture out again. She would obey the Elders’ commands from now on. There was nothing out here for her but heartbreak.
Drawing a breath to steady herself, Nyri started forward, willing herself invisible. Time to put her woeful skills at concealment to the test.
“Raanya!” A familiar voice called suddenly. “Come and help an old woman, will you?”
The sentry nearest to Nyri abandoned her place of concealment and rushed away. Unable to believe her luck, Nyri was quick to take advantage of the hole in the defence. She slipped back into the protection of the eshaara trees.
She was in time to see Raanya aiding Sefaan with a basketful of goods.
“Thank you, thank you!” The Kamaali thanked her profusely. Then, even though she had not yet reached her destination, she started to brush Raanya off. Nyri found herself pausing in her escape to listen. “No, I’ve got it from here. No, I’m fine. You get back to your watch. Anyone could have slipped by while you had your back turned!” Nyri could have sworn Sefaan’s eyes flickered to hers.
Exasperated but obedient, Raanya disappeared back into the outer trees. Nyri moved hastily to continue her own escape. She did not like the way Sefaan was looking at her. She could feel the ancient eyes burning into her back all the way to Baarias’ tree. Nyri forced her pace to remain even until she ducked through the entrance of Baarias’ home.
Out of sight at last, she collapsed back against the tree wall and buried her flushed face in her hands, the full intensity of her grief washing over her. None of it had been true. She had been a lonely child, desperate for somebody to love her. Easy prey for the monster hatched in their midst. Now she had let that need ruin her again.
Why is Ninmah doing this to me? She knew the answer. It was a punishment. She had known she was committing a sin by aiding a Forbidden creature but she had gone ahead anyway. Ninmah was teaching her a lesson. The jagged shards of her heart sliced through her chest. She had failed everyone. She wished with all her might that her mother had never accepted him into her family.
With a soft growl, Nyri pushed herself away from the wall. She could not afford to go to pieces as she had the first time she had lost him; she was not a child anymore. She would wait until she retired to her own tree to allow herself the luxury of breaking down.
She found Baarias sitting with Kyaati. An untouched piece of honey fruit was clutched in her friend’s hands.
“Ah, Nyriaana has finally arrived.” Baarias seized upon her appearance. “Now the day can begin.”
If he had thought Nyri’s presence would raise Kyaati’s spirits, however, her teacher had been sadly mistaken. Kyaati did not look up from her untouched fruit, the wild gleam in her eyes was still there, her face had the removed appearance of someone thinking hard. Nyri ignored that and crossed the space to squeeze her shoulder. Even bewitched, Kyaati had seen to the truth before she had.
“What happened to your ear?”
Nyri clamped a hand over the wound Juaan had inflicted on her, feeling its sting. “Nothing,” she murmured. “I grazed it climbing down my tree. Careless.”
“Nyri,” Baarias admonished. “There is no need to show off every time you leave your home. Try to be more steady for once.” He reached a hand towards her injury.
“Leave it!” she snapped and Baarias recoiled at her sharp tone. Nyri drew a breath and forced a smile onto her face. “Let it stand as a reminder for me to be more careful from now on.”
Baarias lowered his hand and acquiesced silently, though a frown still marked his face as he watched her.
The morning meal was stifled. Kyaati refused to speak and Nyri offered no conversation. It was almost a relief when Pelaan came in and broke the stifled silence. “Baarias,” he called. “I would like to spend some time with my daughter. I am sure you have much to do.”
Baarias’ lips pulled down. Nyri could tell he was not happy to leave Kyaati in anyone’s care but his own. He could not deny an Elder’s request, however, and inclined his head.
“If you need me, I will not be far.”
Nyri felt her own shiver of apprehension at leaving Kyaati without Baarias, remembering all to well the last time they had left father and daughter alone together.
“Nyri,” her teacher rose to his feet. “We must go.”
Nyri trailed along as Baarias made his visits to the most infirm members of the tribe. As much as she was hurting, she still had to function and perform her duties.
It was a sad business. The shortening of food rations and the constant threat of the Woves’ return were already beginning to take their toll. Nyri felt an echo of Kyaati’s craze sink into her own mind, threatening to take a hold. She struggled to
see how she could carry on with her life as she had before. She had not realised how much Juaan’s return had given her something to live for. Naïve baby, indeed.
Little Naaya had fallen and broken her wrist. The tiny girl had been spare before; now she was gaunt. Despite Baarias’ ministrations, her injury was not healing as it should. Nyri emulated Baarias’ impassive expression in front of Naaya’s anxious mother as her teacher gave his assurances and bound the wounded arm. Only Nyri knew him well enough to see his true concern. The child’s condition was not promising.
“You must keep it still for a while, little one,” Baarias told the starving child in a light voice. “I’ll do all I can to make it better.”
Naaya smiled at him, blinking sleepily. She barely had the energy to keep her eyes open.
Nyri was glad when they left Naaya’s family tree. Baarias squeezed her shoulder in silent support as they walked away; he said nothing. There was nothing to say.
Naaya was not the only one suffering. Nyri’s own stomach ached. She had not eaten with Baarias and Kyaati; she had lost her ration to the Pit. Before she could stop herself, she wondered if Juaan had finally eaten or if he still faded slowly towards his own demise.
Why should I care! She told herself angrily. He is your enemy. That is all that there is, now. All there ever was.
But as the day passed, her shock and her anger at what had happened began to fade, to her dismay the strange pull in her heart once again began to tug her towards the trees. Familiar green eyes overshadowed her every thought. Her stomach gave a little lurch as it occurred to her that she would never see them again.
We have got to look after him now because no one else will…
Nyri shook the voice away. I cannot risk my life or those of my people, mother, and you were wrong for doing so. He made his true nature clear. I will look after my tribe. That is my duty. Her father had had the good sense after all. Her traitorous and foolish heart, however, remained unconvinced.
