by Lori Holmes
“I still don’t know how I can go back. I don’t know if I can bear such a choice.”
“If you don’t, you will never find Ariyaana.”
“Ariyaana.” Nyri threw her head back to stare at the ceiling of the ground level chamber. “Another Forbidden. How do you know if she is even real? How can she be real?”
“You saw her, too. What do you think?”
Nyri did not know what to think anymore. She closed her eyes and the strange girl smiled at her from behind her lids, as though she were the keeper of the most sacred secret. Vestiges of KI swirled around the image. You have to find her and this boy can help you… Her Juaan. They still needed each other, perhaps now more than ever.
Nyri lifted a resolute face to meet Sefaan’s gaze. “It seems the path I must follow has been chosen for me. May Ninmah have mercy.”
“You are your mother’s daughter.” Sefaan touched her cheek. “You are carrying much on your young shoulders, child. It is no shame to waver but you must not fall.”
“I will try,” Nyri sighed. “But I need help, I cannot do this alone. Can I at least tell Baarias? I can’t bear lying to him. He wants me to care for Kyaati but I don’t know how I am going to do that-”
“You must not tell Baarias.” Sefaan’s voice was hard. “He cannot know. If you tell him, all will be lost.”
Nyri was taken aback by the firmness of her tone but she nodded her understanding and clutched on to the Kamaali’s presence for strength. “At least I have you on my side, Sefaan. It helps knowing there is one person who does not think me a traitor for my actions. If I know that, I can walk this path. Never leave me.”
Sefaan smiled, her old body looking more ancient than ever. “Ah, my dear Nyriaana, you must find your own strength, for that is one thing I cannot promise.”
* * *
That night her sleep was broken. Nyri tried to keep her experience with KI firmly in her mind, clinging to the sense of rightness she had felt within the vision.
She had precious little time to do what the Great Spirit wished. The Woves were hunting for Juaan and now her own tribe was hunting for her. There was no more time. She had to make it right. Giving up on sleep, Nyri pulled herself from her bower. She still felt sick as the thought of what she must do to walk the path that had been put before her but she forced herself to continue.
The air outside was bitter; Nyri’s fingers grew instantly numb as she emerged from her home and moved stealthily to the nearest store. Her senses hummed, every nerve ending alert as she climbed inside. She paused, feeling the currents of energy around her. After several moments of holding her breath, she relaxed slightly. She was alone. There was no time to waste, she picked a large gora root and stashed it inside her clothing before turning to pick up a fresh set of berries.
She still did not sense anything when the hand came down on her shoulder.
30
Caught!
The wave of desperation hit Baarias full in the chest. Kyaati was sleeping beside him as he leaped up from his vigil.
Nyriaana!
He felt the all too ready panic shoot through him. She was in trouble.
With no more than a glance at Kyaati, Baarias dashed from his tree following in the direction of his student’s desperate plea.
His stride faltered as he caught sight of the scene unfolding at the store tree in the distance. Imaani had hold of Nyri by the arm and was forcibly dragging her back to the ground.
“You’re lying. I can feel it. Thief!” Imaani’s voice carried on the wind. “I was praying I would be the one to catch you.”
“No, please. I’m taking the ration to Kyaati. I am not stealing. Please, believe me!”
Umaa was waiting for them at the base of the great tree. Baarias felt the energy swirl between her and Imaani. The Bonded pair were communicating with each other.
“Watch the tree while I’m gone,” Imaani told his mate. “I won’t be long.” Then he continued to drag Nyri, who stumbled weakly in his wake, towards Aardn’s tree.
Baarias shook himself and rushed forward. “What is the meaning of this?”
“I caught her stealing food, Baarias.” Imaani did not slow his pace, appearing determined to reach Aardn before Baarias could stop him. He held up the gora root and some berries in his free hand as proof. “This is enough for three! She is our thief.”
Shock rippled through Baarias, rendering him temporarily speechless.
“No, please, I can explain!” Nyri was digging her heels in.
“You have already explained!” Imaani snapped dismissively. “I do not believe you. You are hiding something. Your mind is closed.”
Baarias quickened his step enough to place himself between Imaani and the Elder’s tree. He raised an eyebrow at the younger man. “What was her explanation.”
“She told me she was collecting a ration for herself and Kyaati.” Imaani’s tone was begrudging. He did not want Baarias to interfere, that much was clear. “Only, I know you always collect the extra ration for Kyaati.”
Imaani was right. Nyriaana was not telling the truth. His eyes fell on his student. He did not want to believe it. He couldn’t believe it. Not his Nyriaana. She would never betray her people so.
Help me. She appealed with her eyes. Please.
Baarias held her gaze for a moment longer. She had a lot of explaining to do. Drawing a breath, he faced Imaani. “What she tells you is true,” he said evenly, no hint of waver in his voice. “I had some important work to do and sent Nyri to collect our rations. I apologise for not informing you, Imaani.”
Baarias reached forward and took Nyri’s other arm, tugging her out of Imaani’s still determined grip. “You have my word that she is not your thief, Imaani. Nyri would not steal from her own tribe. I trust her with my life.”
Tears sprang to Nyriaana’s eyes.
“I was only doing my job,” Imaani muttered sullenly, handing back Nyri’s food.
“I respect that,” Baarias inclined his head, “but do not be overly zealous. Next time, corroborate someone’s story before you march them to Aardn.”
With that, he towed Nyri away.
“Would you care to explain yourself?” he asked sharply as soon as they were out of earshot.
She was trembling from head to foot. She kept her eyes down. “I couldn’t sleep,” she began. “You have so much on your mind at the moment, Baarias, I thought I’d help you by collecting our rations for the day.”
She was lying again, he could feel it. Thorns contracted inside Baarias’ heart. She had never lied to him before. He felt the walls closing about her mind, shutting him out. She had changed. He could not believe she was capable of betraying her people but something was seriously wrong and it was clear that he was not going to get the answers he sought from her her lips.
He pretended to accept her words. “I thank you for your kind gesture, Nyriaana, but next time, please inform us of your actions before you act. The Elders are extremely touchy at the moment. You can’t afford to raise suspicion. If their focus falls on you, the real thief will walk away unpunished.”
Her lips pressed together and she said nothing, confirming his former thoughts. She would not speak.
He led her back to the healer’s tree. Kyaati was waiting for them. Silent, Nyri shared out the rations she had taken from the store tree. Kyaati hardly spoke as she chewed listlessly; she had shrunken to skin and bone. Baarias was growing more and more concerned for her. Something needed to be done soon otherwise her prospect for survival was grim.
A furtive movement caught his eye and he was in time to see Nyri trying to conceal her own ration behind her back without eating it. She caught his eye, flushed and began to chew.
What are you doing, Nyri? Baarias felt one more worry sink deep into his heart.
31
Finding Trust
When Nyri approached the store tree the next morning, Imaani was waiting for her. Without a word, he broke a gora root in two and thrust the meager h
alf into her hands. Nyri quailed at just how little was in her hand. She had a feeling Imaani was daring her to complain. Without giving him the satisfaction, she left the tree and walked far enough to be sure she was out of Imaani’s sight before cutting into the outer forest.
At least if Imaani was guarding the stores, he was not out here. The other sentries were easier to deal with. She could not tell if Sefaan was still helping her.
She reached the Pits and pulled back the coverings from Juaan’s prison. She could see nothing in the pre-dawn dimness. She paused before lowering herself down into the misty depths, still slightly hesitant as to how she would be received. After her near disaster, she had not been able to return the previous day as she had promised him.
The mist was thicker and colder at the bottom. She stood on the icy, damp rock, shivering and on guard. “Juaan?” she spoke softly to the dimness, voice falling dead on the damp air. Water dripped from the rocks. There was no answer. “Juaan?”
The shadows swirled, threatening. Nyri held her breath, not daring to move. He promised not to hurt you, she told herself bracingly. But he was so much stronger now, he might have changed his mind in the light of her absence. Her palms were awash with nerves, Nyri swore if he was waiting to pounce, he could find her by her heartbeat; it was the only sound.
Finally and to her relief, Nyri caught his essence. His muted energy had the stillness of sleep. He was a couple of strides to her right.
Now that she knew he was there, Nyri could just detect a darker shape in the mist. She stepped closer until he became clear. He did not wake. He was sitting propped against the Pit wall. Nyri crouched before him, alarmed to see fresh cuts and bruises littering the rich red-gold flesh. His hairy chin was propped against his chest, brown hair falling across his face, brushing the high cheekbones, darkened by the damp. The long hands were draped carelessly, one was in his lap, the other lay on the freezing ground. Nyri could see that at least one of the fingers was broken and the skin was bluish from the cold. What had he been doing? She took the wounded hand quickly between her palms. It dwarfed her own but she did her best to warm it. She traced the rough and smooth paths delicately with her fingers as she studied the damage.
“Don’t.”
Nyri flinched at the sound of his voice and looked up. She hadn’t noticed him wake. His eyes were half open now, watching her. The green gaze sent a thrill through her, reminding her hauntingly of the vision Sefaan had shown her. Hastily, she let go and the hand swiftly disappeared beneath the furs.
“Don’t what?”
“Creep up on me. I don’t like it. I could hurt you and I gave you my word that I would not.”
“I’m sorry. I did not mean to.” Nyri nodded at the hand he had hidden from her, frowning. “What have you been doing?”
He straightened up, backing her off. “What do you think? You don’t expect me to just sit here, do you, placidly waiting for you to come back?”
“You tried to climb out?” Nyri asked incredulously. “You can’t climb out of this Pit. It’s sheer rock!” She couldn’t help but feel a sting of agony at the fact that he was trying to get away from her. She was nothing more than an enemy keeping him prisoner and entirely dependent on her. He didn’t strike her as a man who liked to be dependent on anyone.
“So I found,” he said dryly, closing his eyes and leaning his head back.
Nyri shifted. “I’m sorry I did not come yesterday.” She decided not to tell him the reason behind her absence. She shuddered as she thought of it; of how close she had come. Worst of all, she knew she had now made Baarias suspicious of her. “Here,” she said, pulling forth the half root. Half was rightfully hers but she couldn’t bring herself to take it. He was already noticeably leaner than when he had first fallen into the Pit.
He stared down at the offering for a moment, frowning. “Thank you, she-elf” he muttered finally.
“Nyriaana,” Nyri reminded him. “It’s Nyri. Can’t you remember, Juaan?”
“Khalvir,” he reminded her sternly. “And of course I don’t.”
He picked up the root and took a bite. She watched him struggle not to spit it out. He pulled a face as he chewed and swallowed valiantly.
“This is awful! What is this?”
In spite of herself, Nyri’s lips twitched. “Gora root. It’s very good for you. Makes you big and strong.” She nodded sagely.
His face was askance. “Whoever told you that complete and total-?”
“Never mind.” Nyri shook her head. “It’s a private joke. Just eat.”
And he did so, though he pulled a face at every bite.
“What?” he asked irritably after a few moments.
Nyri realised she had been staring openly at his face again, or more specifically his chin. She reached out unthinkingly to touch the hair growth. He shied away from her hand. She dropped it quickly, embarrassed. She really needed to stop forgetting herself around him. The years apart had not diminished the attachment or the familiarity. Not for her. She touched her own chin instead. “You have hair here.”
“Yes.” His tone once again questioned her sanity.
“It’s… strange. I’ve never seen anything like it before.”
His eyebrows rose. “Your people don’t grow beards?”
“Beards?” she tested the word. The entire concept of someone growing hair on the chin was very unnatural. Nyri shook her head still studying his face closely.
This seemed to amuse him. “You are very strange, elf.”
Nyri frowned. “What is this ‘elf’?”
“That’s what you are, aren’t you?” he threw her previous words to him back at her. “It’s what we call you. The people of Ninhursag.”
Nyri lifted her chin. “I am not an elf. My people are the sacred Ninkuraaja, created by the holy Ninmah.”
“Oh really?” he raised his eyebrows again.
He was mocking her. She heard the pompousness of her own statement and got defensive. “So what do Woves call themselves?”
The edge returned. “We have clan names.” He looked down at the remaining gora root in his hand. Her mouth watered as her empty stomach rumbled softly. “Is this all you can bring to eat?”
That was the last thing he should have asked so flippantly. In an instant, Nyri was on her feet, standing over him, shaking with anger. “Yes, as a matter of fact it is!” she spat ruthlessly. “Thanks to your ‘clan’ we now no longer have enough food to get us through the Fury. You took most everything. You are lucky to get that, believe me, Forbidden.”
He rocked backwards in the face of her rage. His eyes flickered and then to Nyri’s surprise he looked contrite. “I’m sorry,” he said. “That was wrong of me.”
“Huh,” she grunted. “Small comfort that is to the old and the young who will die this Fury from starvation.” Her voice began to crack. Stop. She thought at herself. Don’t break down in front of him.
“I’m sorry,” he said again and Nyri felt the last thing she expected – remorse. It reminded her of what she had forgotten in the last few moments. This was Juaan here with her, not a mindless Wove. He would never have taken their food. He had been brainwashed and made to serve them. Her anger drained away. She sat back down before him, exhausted.
“No, I’m sorry,” she sighed, staring at the ground. “You don’t need to hear.”
The silence stretched.
“Are you hungry?” he asked finally. She looked up to see the most gentle expression on his face. He seemed to be taking her in for the first time.
Nyri felt her mouth fall open slightly. Removed of the bitterness, his was a handsome countenance, she hadn’t really noticed until this moment. Nyri closed her mouth and shook her head in response to his question. He needed everything she could provide for him, even if it meant sacrificing her own needs. What she had told him was true. It was no less than he had always done for her.
“Here.” He moved to break off a piece of the root for her. She saw him wince as he used his bro
ken fingers.
“Let me heal that.” She held out her hand.
He instantly withdrew, anger and mistrust returning to his gaze.
“Please, I don’t like to see you in pain.”
His eyes moved to his hand and back again as he warred with his better judgement. Some deep-set instinct was compelling him to trust her with his very life while his whole life experience was telling him to fear and mistrust the elf-witch. She had to reach that deeper part of him.
“Please,” she spoke softly. “Please trust me.” She held her hand out further, deliberately displaying how small and vulnerable it was next to his.
His hand made an involuntarily move towards hers then stopped, trembling on the air. Conflict and confusion flitted through those green depths. Come on, Juaan. I know you’re in there.
He made his decision. “I’ll let you heal me but only if you eat something. You look like the wind could blow you away.” And he placed his hand in hers.
How was it that in the midst of so much fear and uncertainty, all Nyri could feel in that moment was the purest joy. Juaan was still with her, somewhere beneath the depths of this Wove façade. He was there and Nyri felt whole, his hand was warm and solid in hers. Everything she was sacrificing was suddenly worth every moment of the agony it cost her.
She healed the bones. He held stone-still the entire time. Nyri could tell he was holding his breath. It was easier for her this time; she understood more the muted energy within his body. He was Ninkuraaja but not. The Ninkuraaja part worked with her but the other was sluggish, slower, buried.
He pulled his hand from her as soon as she was finished and stared at his fingers. Pain twisted his face as he screwed his eyes shut as though he were trying to block out a dark memory. “If only.” Nyri heard him murmur.
“If only what?” she asked.
He shook his head, covering the unguarded moment. “It doesn’t matter. You have a great power, young elf.”
