by Lori Holmes
Nyri turned her face away from him to stare determinedly at the cold, grey wall of the Pit, her jaw worked as she tried to contain her emotion. They had hurt him. They had made him fight. They had made him… Nyri wanted to ask but the desolate look in his eyes was all she needed to know. They had made him kill. The answer was obvious. You win or you die. He was still very much alive. His opponents were not.
Like Baarias, Nyri had come to the conclusion that the Woves were not the evil servants of Ninsiku but, also like Baarias, she realised they were still murderous savages. Monsters that would kill even their own kind over a scrap of meat.
When she could finally bring herself to meet his gaze once more, her cheeks were wet with tears. “They hurt you,” was all she could whisper.
He frowned and reached out to touch her damp cheek. An array of emotions played over his face. “You weep for me?” he asked. “Why?”
Nyri growled in frustration. “Can you not figure it out?” she hissed, wiping her eyes fiercely, trying to keep the choke out of her voice. “Have I not made it perfectly clear? I love you, Juaan. I always have. I cannot bear to see you hurt. Even when it’s to protect me.”
A loaded silence fell between them. Neither breathed. She dared not look at him.
Fingers brushed her cheek for the second time and this time, the touch was almost shy. Nyri’s eyes darted up at the contact and her breath caught.
“I… could not see you hurt, either.”
She could have melted in his eyes in that moment. She lived in it. Then the moment was gone and he pulled his hand away. He shook his head, hissing out a breath. “What is it about you? I do not know.” He stared hard at her face, searching. His own were filled with unquenchable frustration.
Impulsively, Nyri reached out and caught his hands between her own. She had no hope of holding them there should he decide to pull away. She held her breath, waiting for him to break the contact; her heart beat faster when he did not. He was still, his soul searching for something beyond his understanding. The world turned around them. Nyri did not care that he could save them or that she had to somehow find a strange girl who may not exist. She could not bear to let him go back to those savages. She would do anything.
“Please stay with me, Juaan,” she whispered pleadingly. “You do not have to go back there. I cannot let you go back. You are not their killer. They took you from me now come back.”
He looked down at their joined hands. He still did not pull away but the smile that came to his face was bitter. “How?” he said. “Even if I wanted to, even if what you are saying is true and I am a boy you knew long ago, how can I stay here? My life with my clan may be hard but your people,” he glanced up to where Imaani had stood before staring Nyri full in the face, “would kill me.”
Nyri kept her gaze locked on his for a long and helpless moment. In the end it was she that pulled away. She couldn’t deny it.
40
Eyes Closed
Nyriaana skirted around the side of the massive family tree. Pausing to catch her breath, she leaned a small hand on the rough bark. She could feel activity buzzing against her senses. A family was waking as Ninmah rose over the blossoming village. Nyri loved the Blooming. It was when everything was at its most beautiful. All of the giant trees around her were splashed with pastel colours and blushing the prettiest shade of green, the nest-like homes growing from them were draped in white blossoms. There was no time to pause this morning, though. Drawing in a lungful of sweet, bloom-scented air, she focused her attention back on her mission. The stranger she was shadowing was quickly getting lost from sight. She was supposed to be getting breakfast. If she returned with nothing, Juaan would be cross with her.
Nyri glanced around the tree. The stranger had disappeared. She could still feel his energy, faintly vibrating up ahead among the sleepy presence of the trees but now he was out of sight. For a second she was torn. Her stomach rumbled. Then curiosity won out. She pushed away from the tree and trotted on.
The tribe was coming alive around her. Her people were emerging from their homes to greet the day. She was not the only one taking an interest in the strange man up ahead. Curiosity could be tasted on the air. She heard comments and mutterings as she went by. Word was spreading fast.
Nyri had been on the outskirts of her home, watching Ninmah rise over the trees, when the strange man arrived. He was the same in appearance to the rest of her people. Honey coloured skin with eyes a light shade of indigo and hair in the rare silver-white shade rather than dark. His clothes were different, the leaves fashioned in a strange design but that was all. At first Nyriaana had been disappointed. She had been held enthralled by Juaan’s tales of the Cro. She would love to see one one day.
This man was the same height as everyone else she knew. Certainly no giant. Not very old. One of his arms looked misshapen and his gait was uneven. Again this was not unusual. Over half of her tribe had such complaints. Some found it difficult to go about their daily life. But still, he was interesting. He was someone she had not seen before. That was exciting and a little frightening all at once. What was he here for? Where was he from? He was quickly trailed by two of her tribe who had been on sentry duty. They followed him but remained relaxed.
Now Nyri watched the man pause as he reached the centre of her tribe’s home. Here stood the largest tree. The Elders’ tree. The Elders often met here to discuss important matters. The giant limbs of the tree twisted this way and that, forming many different spaces within them. Vines supplying water twisted like veins over the great tree’s skin. Nyri watched as the stranger and his watch climbed up and disappeared into the nearest chamber.
Dare she follow them in there? She was dying to know what he was here for. He had an air of importance. Usually the Elder Tree was open for everyone to gather and meet in, even the children unless there were more ‘adult’ matters to be discussed. Was this an ‘adult’ matter? Nyriaana twisted the leaves at her waist anxiously. Should she go inside and try to listen in? She’d come this far.
She started forward before she could worry about the consequences too much. She climbed up after the stranger. Inside the Elder Tree a curving passageway lead away to the left. It was nice inside here. She could smell the life and growth of the ancient tree.
Hearing voices down the passage, she started slowly along. It led to another larger chamber ahead. She crouched a few steps from the chamber, just out of sight from the five people she knew were inside. One was her stranger, the two sentries who had escorted him here and two of her tribe’s most respected Elders. She held her breath and did her best to mask her presence. Not one of her strongest skills. She hoped they were too distracted to realise she was hiding just out of sight.
This seemed to be the case. A low discussion started. She heard snatches of words like: “Thals… sighted… lands.’ Nyriaana risked slipping closer to better hear what was said.
The man was from a tribe whose home bordered mountains further to the north, their nearest neighbours. He was warning the Elders that Thals had been sighted on his tribe’s territory, moving south. The increasingly harsh Fury’s were driving even the Cold People down from their wastelands.
Upon hearing this, the Elders grew agitated and asked many sharp questions. Nyri’s curiosity burned even more hotly than theirs. She had exhausted Juaan’s stories of the Cold People of the north. She listened avidly but was soon disappointed when the stranger said the Thals had been driven off successfully. No one knew where they were now. The stranger advised a closer watch be kept on her tribe’s borders. The conversation then turned to boring things like Joinings and food. The Elders were quick to seize on this stranger’s presence. She stopped paying attention. Her mind was filled with the thoughts that Thals had been close, so close. It had been worth following the stranger. As close as the mountains…
“What are you doing?”
Nyriaana jumped. She spun around to face the Elder who had come up unnoticed behind her. Pelaan raised a stern eyeb
row. Nyriaana’s mouth was dry. She didn’t know what to say. Pelaan was the worst person to have caught her. He wasn’t nice. He hated Juaan. It didn’t help that the voices in the room beyond had stopped to listen to her telling off as well.
“I-I….”
Pelaan watched her flounder. His eyes cast around, clearly looking for someone else. When he saw that she was alone, his features softened. His gentler tone surprised her. “You’d better get out of here, Nyri. There’ll be no punishment for your bad manners today, however, do not let me catch you doing this again. Curiosity is not a bad thing but never let it get the better of you. Listening to the private matters of your Elders is very impolite. Go and find Kyaati and play.”
Nyriaana shifted her feet shamefully and risked a glance into the chamber next to her. The Elders within were looking back at her severely. She could feel the sting of their disapproval. The stranger was looking at her with a faint smile on his thin lips. She dropped her eyes and shuffled past Pelaan, not meeting his gaze. They all watched her as she disappeared out of the tree. She blew out a breath as she touched the ground. She had been lucky to get out of there without punishment. She was sure the other Elders had wanted to.
She walked away from the Elder Tree feeling her heart rate return to normal. As the shame faded, curiosity began to burn. Thals had been sighted close to the tribe!
Her pace increased, faster and faster. She could not wait to tell Juaan. What an interesting morning she’d had! She was soon running as fast as she could, eagerly eating up the distance she had to cover to get home. But Juaan wasn’t there. Puzzled, she began to search for him. He was nowhere to be found. Then, quite suddenly, she knew where he would be. He had gone to his mother’s tree.
She raced to the edge of the eshaara grove. Grabbing the first hold on the decaying tree, Nyri suddenly remembered the original purpose for her morning trip. Breakfast. No matter, as soon as Juaan heard her news and the adventure she was plotting in her head, then hopefully he wouldn’t notice. Her friend was definitely inside. She could feel his familiar presence radiating out to her.
She scrambled up the tree. As always, it was dim inside. As her eyes adjusted to the light, Nyri spotted Juaan sitting curled into a corner, his long arms folded around his knees. He held the Thal spear in his hands.
“Juaan, c’mon!” Nyriaana called excitedly, attempting to be as distracting as possible considering she was breakfast-less.
Juaan looked up as she pounced on him. She did not notice his drawn, serious expression, she bounced up and down on her toes before him like the seven-Blessing-old she was and didn’t care a bit. Juaan’s green eyes were bemused under his mess of red-brown hair.
“What is it this time?” he asked. “Have the wolves had pups again?” He was being deliberately calm in the face of her excitement, provoking her. His lips tugged into a rare smile, dispelling his sombre expression.
Nyri huffed, too excited to put up with this behaviour. “No, silly.” She grabbed a large hand and tugged. “C’mon! We gotta go!”
“Where?” Now he was definitely trying not to laugh at her futile efforts to move him.
Nyri stamped her foot. “To find the Thals! A strange man has come from another tribe. I heard him talking. He saw them! I wanna see! Come with me. He’s still here, we can ask him where they went.”
Juaan’s expression closed down and he pulled his hand from hers with no effort at all, placing it back on the spear. “I can’t, Nyri,” he said, his voice flat.
“But I want you to come and see!” Nyri tried to keep the whine from her voice.
“I can’t,” he said again. Irritation began to saturate his tone.
“Why not?” Nyri lost her battle with the whine. She was vibrating with excitement. Why was he being so stubborn? Juaan always came with her when she wanted to explore. “Why won’t you come with me?” she asked again when he didn’t answer her the first time.
“Because I can’t be seen out there. Baarias came to warn me that the stranger was here. He told me to hide and not be seen under any circumstance.”
Nyri fought the urge to stamp her foot again. “Why?” she asked, hiding her surprise that Baarias had sought Juaan out. The healer usually avoided him, which Nyri thought strange. Baarias was always such a caring person towards everyone. “Of course you can be seen.”
He let out a frustrated sigh and stood up. He towered over her but then, he was twelve. “Look at me, Nyri,” he burst out, gestured sharply to his face and body. “Really look at me. Now surely you’ve noticed after all this time that I don’t exactly look the same as everyone else around here? And don’t tell me you still believe the ‘I ate my gora roots’ story, because it’s just not true.”
Nyri blinked at him, taking in the familiar large frame, the green eyes, his deep skin. Juaan was different. Of course she’d noticed, she just hadn’t thought much about what had always seemed so natural to her. Juaan was her life, as much a part of it as the air that she breathed. She was so confused by this she forgot to be annoyed that he’d been lying to her about the vile roots all this time. She’d get to that later.
“I’m different, Nyri. I can’t be seen by the stranger. Our tribe turns a blind eye because… because of Sefaan. But I can’t be seen by an outsider. I can’t come with you.”
He sank back down into the shadows, folding his long arms around himself, closing off. The expression on his face turned Nyri cold.
“Why aren’t you allowed, Juaan?” She was suddenly terrified of the answer although she could not say why.
Juaan’s green eyes were shadowed but for the first time he didn’t try to shadow her from something that would hurt. “They will kill me.”
Four little words. Four razor thorns to Nyri’s heart. She gasped. The horror of their meaning threatened to choke her. Kill Juaan? No. Not her Juaan. She would not survive without him. He was the best thing that had ever happened to her since her parents were taken. Without him….
“I’m unclean.” The words were bitter. “Forbidden. It’s only a matter of time before our tribe… as soon as Sefaan-” He squeezed his eyes shut.
Nyri dropped down beside her best friend. She clung to him and buried her face in his strong arm to hide her frightened tears. She would never let him go. Her fists tightened. She tried to make sense of somebody being killed simply for being unclean. Juaan wasn’t unclean. He made sure they washed twice a day in the stream at the edge of the village. It kept them healthy, he said. Like those horrible gora roots he was always making her eat. She inhaled his familiar scent, letting it comfort her. No, Juaan wasn’t unclean at all. But she didn’t want to question him. Juaan was upset and she was afraid now, too.
“Promise you won’t go out,” she begged, babbling in her fright. “Promise me you won’t ever leave me.”
“Shhh, shhh.” He brushed her tears away. “I promise. I’ll never leave you.”
“Promise.”
“Promise.”
She stayed with Juaan in the dimness of his mother’s home for the rest of that bright day. The world outside suddenly seemed like a very frightening place indeed.
* * *
Juaan’s blood soaked furs were starting to attract flies.
“You can’t put those back on,” Nyri told him. “I’m going to have to take them and wash them in the river.” She glanced up at the sky. Could she make it there carrying Wove garments? If she was caught with them… There would be no explaining her way out of that. She had no choice. These furs needed to be cleaned.
“Make sure you bring them back,” Juaan said, folding his arms. Nyri could see that his skin had already prickled against the chill. He was fighting a shiver.
She smiled softly at his comment. “I will. They needed a wash anyway. You were beginning to stink.” She wrinkled her nose as she lifted the dark furs.
He rolled his eyes. He threw his arms wide to indicate the Pit, lifting his eyebrows, the message clear, “and where am I supposed to wash?”
&nbs
p; “I know, I know.” Nyri looked at the rope that would take her back to the surface and hefted the furs. They were much heavier than he made them appear. She doubted she could climb while carrying them.
“Here,” he said with the briefest of grins. He bundled his clothes up tight, swung back a long arm and hurled them into the air. Up and over the edge they flew.
“Show off,” she muttered, trying not to stare at his movement and the way it made his muscles move. Nyri climbed back to the surface, pulling her rope with her. She gathered up the bundle and set off in the direction of the river, aiming for a location far from the tribe and little used. Nyri often visited the place when she needed to be alone or to think. The sound of the water was always soothing.
She needed that balm now. Her thoughts played over everything Juaan had told her and her heart burned. She reached the river. There were no shafts of Ninmah’s light playing on the silken ripples today. Clouds masked Her golden face from view, but the music of the water was still beautiful as the shallow current scurried over the rounded pebbles. A few of the trees stooped on the bank, trailing the tips of their fingers in the stream, waving gently with the motion.
Nyri dipped the furs in the water and the flow became an instant ruddy red-brown. Nyri waited until the water ran clear and all traces had been cleansed. No scent of blood could remain; there were worse things than flies in the forest.
Nyri splashed her face with the cold water and crouched, hugging her knees as she wrestled with her dilemma. She had to keep Juaan with her, but she didn’t know how. He was right. Her tribe’s eyes were closed to him. But Nyri could not let him go again, either. She chewed a fingernail. Maybe… maybe she could go to Sefaan. The Kamaali had forced her tribe to accept Juaan once. Perhaps she had the power to do it again.
