by Lori Holmes
She could not wait for the dark to come. She could not stand the stifling tension of her confinement. She needed to see him. It was time to tell him, to plead with him to order his clan away before Daajir could carry out his terrible plan.
Ninmah at last set in the sky. Relief was close at hand. When Kyaati curled up into her bower to find her own escape, Nyri did not stop her. She herself could not find sleep, she paced restlessly, waiting for the time to be right. When the night reached its darkest phase and she was certain the rest of her tribe were deeply asleep, she hastily pushed Kyaati into deeper unconsciousness and left. In her head, she knew she shouldn’t be leaving. Her luck had already failed spectacularly. She was in terrible trouble as it was. But she couldn’t resist. It wasn’t as if she could make things worse than they already were. She had to see him. The Woves had to leave and… she couldn’t bear to be alone any longer. She imagined being in his arms again, like last night…
The journey seemed to take forever. First she had to collect Juaan’s furs from where she left them. They were thankfully dry and clean, the thicket had sheltered them from the drizzle. Nyri bundled them up as small as they would go and struck out for her destination.
“Juaan,” she called softly into the darkness once she was safely into the Pit. Her muscles were tense with the need to be near him but he was nowhere to be seen and he did not answer her call. Nyri frowned. Hefting the heavy furs, she made her way to his shelter. It was the only place he could be. She peered inside. He was lying on his side in the cotton moss with his back towards her. His pose suggested sleep but she knew that he was quite awake. “Juaan?”
He did not stir.
Nyri felt a quiver of unease in her heart. She forced it down. “I brought you your furs.”
“Thank you,” he said, stiffly. He made no move. His shoulders were tense. “Leave them there. Now please, get away from here.”
Nyri rocked back, the shiver in her heart rattling nastily. “Juaan…?” She reached out to touch his arm.
He flinched away, becoming furiously animated at her touch. “No! No more. I can’t allow it. I am Khalvir. I am not your Juaan. Get away from here. I should not have allowed you to keep coming to me. It would have been better for the both of us if you had just killed me from the start.” He crawled from the shelter. His anger burned hot against her senses.
This was almost more than she could take. Nyri followed after him in open desperation. “Juaan, don’t. Don’t do this to me! Please, not now, I need you,” she half sobbed. “Why are you saying these things?”
“Just leave. Go back to your people where you belong.”
Nyri’s bitter laugh edged upon hysteria. “I’m not sure if I do anymore. I struck another Ninkuraa. Such a crime is forbidden.” She turned her eyes on him, beseeching, it was now or never. “Please, Juaan, Juaan listen to me. Your clan is still here. They have been searching for you.”
His face showed no hint of surprise. He continued to stare at her coldly.
She swallowed. “Please, you are their leader. You can save the lives of my people. You must order them away. Tell them to leave.”
Juaan’s eyebrows shot up. “So that’s what you think?” He laughed and his eyes brightened as though he’d come to an unpleasant, though not entirely unexpected, realisation. “That is why you have been coming here? You thought you could use me to order my people away from your forest?”
Nyri shook her head, reaching for him. He stepped away. “No, no, please, that is not the only reason, I have not lied. I love you, Juaan.”
He turned away in disgust. “It matters not. I cannot do what you say. I cannot order my men away.”
“Why not?” Her last hope died around her.
He turned on her angrily. “Because they will never stop coming, you fool! My clan chief will not stop until he gets what he wants.”
Nyri’s arms dropped to her sides. “What does he want? What could we possibly have that he wants?”
He barked a laugh. “Have you still not figured it out? Do you still cling to the belief that my people mindlessly pursue you for no other reason than to gobble you up? You are mistaken.” He shoved his hand with the finger she had healed into her dazed and confused face. “We covet your healing skills! I did not believe it to be real until I witnessed it for myself. Now I understand.” He touched his recently healed leg. “It is your healing skills that have put you in danger. My clan chief will never stop until he possesses the skill for himself.”
“W-what?”
He didn’t answer, just watched with a bitter twist to his lips as her mind caught up with his words.
Nyri sank weakly to the ground. “I-I never thought, we j-just thought-.” Mindless spirits killing without reason. Child eaters. Nyri had never felt so foolish. Delusions, all of it. “B-but… if you didn’t believe before… how did anyone else… why?”
He laughed bitterly. “I am not the first to be healed by one of your kind, elf,” he said. “My clan chief was mortally wounded by wolves when he was no more than a child. His scout party left him for dead on the edges of a forest. An elf found him, took pity and healed his wounds. As soon as he was strong enough, the child attacked the elf in fear. He tried to cut his throat but the elf was too quick. He only manged to wound the healer’s face. He got away and returned to his clan. His father, amazed by the miracle, grew hungry to possess this power for his own people and started hunting your race in an effort to capture a live elf. He thought to use them as slaves or capture women to breed with in the hope they would pass on the gift to their offspring. We have taken many, but none of them ever survived away from their forests. They grew sick and failed. When the chief’s son grew up to take over the clan, he continued the efforts.”
Nyri’s hands went to her face but she could not feel them. A Ninkuraa was responsible for bringing the Woves down on their heads. She dug the heels of her hands into her eyes. “I can’t believe it,” Nyri whispered. “I can’t…”
“Believe it. It is the truth. I am your mortal enemy and I will only bring you death. I never was your Juaan. I am Khalvir. Now leave before-”
Nyri never really heard what he said. A powerful wave of urgency and misgiving bore her to her knees. She clutched at her chest, suddenly short on breath. Something was wrong. Something was seriously wrong. The sense of foreboding hit Nyri again, stronger this time. She fell forward, catching herself on her hands. Juaan was suddenly there, steadying her.
“What is it?” he asked, the cold façade had slipped, betraying his concern. “What’s wrong?”
Nyri gripped his arms, struggling to formulate a single coherent thought. All she knew was that she had to get back to her people. Now.
“I have to go,” she pushed his hands away sharply. “I have to go.” Before he could ask her anything more, she was scrambling up and out of the Pit.
Wave after wave of distress rolled over her as she raced. She tripped and fell, stumbled up and ran again. The sense of urgency she was feeling reached fever pitch. She had no idea what had befallen her tribe in her absence. All she knew was that it was awful.
42
Death of Hope
Nyri could hear the voices raised in distress before she even came near. She pushed her exhausted body to its limits. She was terrified of what she might find. Had the Woves finally returned? Her legs faltered at the thought, seizing in fear. You have to go. She told herself fiercely. If this is the end, then you have to be with your people. Maybe if you give yourself up, tell them you are a healer, and they will leave the rest alone. They’ll have what they came for. Even as she thought it, she knew she did not possess the courage to do it. She did not want to die. If she was taken, that would be a certainty. She knew. Juaan told the truth. No one could have survived being taken long enough to be of use, otherwise why would the Woves keep on coming back?
Nyri burst through the undergrowth and into the relatively open space the settlement provided. She paused, gasping. There were no signs of a Wove
attack. There was no blaze of destruction with monsters driving her people before it. The trees stood untouched in the still pre-dawn air. But the silence was not comforting. It was ominous. As her eyes came to rest upon the crowd gathered at the base of her home, Nyri knew.
A fist closed around her throat so tight no air would pass. No, no, no. Oh no, no. Nyri could not see the focus of the crowd but she knew in her heart what had drawn them and knew that she would never live through the consequences that would follow. She wished the Woves had come.
Stumbling, half on her feet, half on her knees, Nyri dragged herself towards the crowd and pushed her way through. They parted for her, their stares of shock and pain turning to anger and hate as they recognised who had come among them. She did not have to travel far to witness the horror that had befallen. Baarias was coming towards her carrying Kyaati’s broken body in his arms. Her arms and legs dangled lifelessly towards the ground.
“No,” Nyri whispered, the gasps and the tears clawed their way up her throat, choking her. She screwed her eyes shut to block out the terrible sight. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be true. This was a bad dream and soon she would wake. But when Nyri reopened her eyes, the nightmare remained unchanging before her. Baarias shouldered past her. He did not even look at her. The crowd began to mutter, it seemed all eyes had turned on Nyri, staring down her guilt. Nyri could not look at them, could not raise a defence. In a daze, Nyri dragged herself after Baarias to the healer’s tree. She did not know what else to do.
Baarias had laid Kyaati on a bower of cotton moss. He was kneeling by her side, his head bowed.
“Baarias,” Nyri’s voice was a broken whisper. “W-what?”
His shoulders stiffened at the sound of her voice. He was on his feet in an instant. His eyes were terrible as he rounded on her. “You left her.” His voice was barely recognisable. “Again. I trusted you with her care and you left her.”
“Baarias,” Nyri wished she could die right there. She deserved nothing less. “I-I…I’m sorry.”
“You have no idea how small a comfort that is, Nyriaana,” he seethed.
“Please… forgive me.”
“I do not know if I can.” He was beyond exhaustion. “I warned you not to leave her and you have betrayed me. And not only me. You have betrayed us all.” He pointed accusingly across the chamber. Nyri turned and the sight that met her eyes caused her to sway on her feet as the world turned sickeningly. For there sat her two gathering baskets. “Daajir found those hidden in your dwelling.”
Nyri could raise no defence. There was nothing she could say.
“You have betrayed Kyaati. You have betrayed our very people. Never in all the years I have known you, would I have thought you were capable of this. That you were the thief. I do not know you anymore.”
His every word ripped chunks from her heart. She wanted to tell him that it hadn’t been her, Umaa had been the thief but she could not find the words, the evidence was too damning, why drag somebody else down with her? She was no less guilty. “Please, Baarias,” Nyri begged, “I cannot explain what I have done. I only care about Kyaati. Is she…?” She couldn’t bring herself to say the word. Dead. It lodged like a blade in her throat.
His fists clenched. “No,” he said. “She lives but she is badly broken from throwing herself from that tree. I do not think there is any hope this time.”
Gasping, Nyri took a step forward, intent on getting to Kyaati’s side. She would heal her. Where there was life there was hope. Nyri had brought her back before. She would do it again. She had to. Baarias blocked her path.
“No,” he denied. “You have done enough. I do not need you. Please. Leave.”
“Baarias…”
“LEAVE!”
Nyri flinched backwards as if he had struck her. With a last look at his unrelenting figure, she turned and fled. The crowd was still outside. Their accusation and hatred raked over her. Thief. Traitor. She wanted to escape but she had nowhere to go. Juaan did not want her presence anymore. There was no one to run to. There was no escape, no shelter from the eyes. They were all around her. Inside her mind. Inside her very soul. They crawled up her back as she climbed up into her tree and hid.
The night passed and the morning found her sleepless with no more tears left to cry. She did not go out. All through her confinement, Nyri wandered back and forth to the edge of her tree and stared down at the ground far below, imagining what must have been going through Kyaati’s mind. She thought of how her friend must have needed her and Nyri hadn’t been there. Instead she had been seeking comfort for herself with a Wove, trying to save their enemies. Nyri burned. She recalled asking herself not so long ago whether life could get any worse. Now she had her answer.
Ninmah rose higher in the sky. Nyri knew time was passing only by the movement of shadows. She did not stir and no one came. In the end, as the day grew late, hunger drove her down. She kept her head bowed as she made her way through the eshaara trees but it did not protect her from the sight of backs being abruptly turned and children being shepherded away.
“There’s the traitorous snake,” a voice jeered. Nyri would’ve given anything, anything in that moment to vanish into thin air. She raised her eyes to see Daajir standing with Pelaan and Oraan. Scorn was carved openly upon his face. The Elders’ faces were devoid of any kindness. Their eyes were stone cold as they regarded her. Daajir was drawing further attention; everybody within earshot was pausing to listen. “She who would defend Woves and neglect her own.”
Oraan started towards Nyri but Pelaan grabbed his arm. “Wait Oraan. She will pay for what she has done to us. You’ll get your justice, as will I, as will we all.” He looked like death.
“Pelaan,” Nyri croaked. “I’m…”
The sound of her voice seemed to snap something inside him. He rounded on her in fury. “Do not speak to me! I cannot bear to look at you. Your selfish actions have cost me my daughter’s life. I should have taken care of her but Baarias insisted that I give her care to you. I should never have agreed, my daughter may still be here if I hadn’t.” It was clear that he shared Baarias’ assessment that Kyaati would not survive her injuries. She was already lost to him. He turned away from Nyri and walked away, taking Daajir and Oraan with him.
Nyri stared after them, reeling from the blows his words had dealt. She collapsed to the ground on her knees, wrapping her arms around her chest in an attempt to contain the raw agony. She rocked back and forth, choking.
Suddenly, strong hands were lifting her. Nyri fought against them. No, no, leave me down in the earth, she thought. It is where I belong.
“Come,” a familiar voice said. A voice she had felt she could never face again. “Come with me.”
“No,” Nyri whispered. “Leave me. I deserve it.”
He ignored her. Baarias half dragged Nyri back to his dwelling. He set her down and pushed some fruit into her hands. “Eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Eat!”
Nyri lifted the fruit to her mouth with a shaking hand and bit into the flesh.
“I am s-so sorry.”
“Not half as sorry as I,” he said. Nyri dared to raise her eyes to look at him. He was rubbing his face with his worn hands. He looked infinitely older than Nyri had ever seen him.
I have done this to him. Nyri thought, rocking aimlessly back and forth. “I’m so sorry. It is all my f-fault.” The fruit roiled in her stomach. She wanted to vomit.
“It is as much mine as yours,” he sighed bitterly. “I saw that something was wrong but I left Kyaati in your care anyway,” he said. “What has happened to you, Nyriaana?” He crouched before her. “I cannot help you if you do not open your heart to me.” He took her hand. “You have taken food from the stores, hidden it in your home but you waste like you never have more than a mouthful. Your eyes are blackened like you never rest. You left Kyaati unattended when she needed you. When I asked you never to leave her. Something has happened and you will not tell me. Your heart
is closed and hidden and I cannot figure out why.”
Nyri huddled down deeper into herself. She could not tell him. Even now. She hadn’t protected Kyaati but she would still protect Juaan. No matter what.
He dropped her hand in frustration. “The auscult will take place when Ninmah sets,” he reminded her. “We will find out what is to happen then.”
Nyri knew what that meant but she was powerless to stop it and too weak to care anymore.
“H-how is Kyaati?”
“Unconscious,” he said shortly. “The healing process has begun. I have done all I can. It is up to her now but she is very weak. I do not hold much hope. Prepare yourself.”
“Can I see her?”
“I do not think that wise. If Pelaan catches you–”
“I doubt he can do anything worse than he is already planning to do to me. Please, Baarias,” Nyri begged. “I want to see her. Just once.”
He appeared torn but then he relented. “Be quick.”
Nyri had to steady herself against the walls of the tree as she made her way towards the chamber where Kyaati rested. She couldn’t stand it any longer. At the sight of Kyaati’s body, she wretched - what little food she had in her stomach she caught in her throat as she vomited into the corner. You did this. You did this. You were not there. She should have taken better care of her.
Kyaati’s skin was deathly pale, marred by hideous bruising and swelling. How many bones broken, Nyri could not count. Her chest hardly moved as it drew one breath, paused frighteningly, then drew another. Nyri took her hand, feeling for her life force. She shuddered. It was a trail of smoke and one more breath would blow it away. Nyri knew then that Kyaati would never return to her. She would never recover.
