by K T Grant
“I want you to call and text me every day to keep me informed,” she said on a soft moan and placed my hand on her center.
I circled her slick flesh. She responded with a hitched breath and said my name with such longing I was tempted to forgive her for everything.
“I promise.” I flicked my finger upward, satisfied by her surrender. Next time she wanted a finger to make her come, it would be her own and not mine.
“Tell me you love me.” She clutched me as I pleasured her.
I ran my mouth over the side of her neck as she found her climax. She was so lost in her release, she didn’t ask again for my proclamation of love. Nor did I offer any.
Never again.
Chapter Three
I left early Sunday morning for my five-hour drive. I would have left Saturday evening, but Bianca wouldn’t let me. While I called her brother Clifford, owner of the energy consulting firm I had worked for since I was twenty-two, and then Aunt Lorraine to give her the update, Bianca went back to her apartment, which was a few blocks away, to grab a change of clothes. Within two hours, she returned to help me pack, which meant later that afternoon because she still wanted some “us” time. For once, she was very generous with her affection and praise, keeping me in bed as we talked about our past and everything we had accomplished together as a team.
She spent the night again, keeping me from getting any sleep until we both crashed a few hours before dawn. I wanted to smash my alarm when it rang, but at least it had gone off. I really had expected her to shut it off during the night in order to get me to stay later. I left her smothering grasp after we showered and ate breakfast, and finally got on the road, promising to call her every day to “keep her informed.” At least she didn’t ask me again to say I loved her. If she had, I didn’t know how I would have responded. But I said I would miss her. A part of me would, but the rest wanted to shout in glee. I was free of her for the next six weeks, not two as I had told her.
When she found out I would be gone for over a month, she would freak. Clifford would tell her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she called him as soon as I drove away. For the first time in a long time, I would be away from her for more than a few days. Driving with the radio blasting, I sang at the top of my lungs, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.
The closer I got to Pennsylvania, the more nervous I grew. I was fearful of what I would find when I went to the hospital. The first time I saw Grandma on an oxygen tank with the small plastic tube in her nose, I ran from the room and broke down in tears.
After one bathroom break and a stop for a drink and a snack, three hours into my trip, my phone rang. Bianca’s number popped up. I’d kept my phone on in case Aunt Lorraine called with an update, but since I was close enough to my destination, I powered it down. That free feeling returned, and I relaxed again.
As soon as I saw the sign welcoming me to Delpoint, a rush of anticipation came over me. I hadn’t been back in over a year, but as I turned off the highway and onto the exit that would take me to Grandma, everything seemed familiar from the trees lining the road to the houses and small businesses I had passed many times on my travels back and forth.
Thanks to my car’s GPS system and the signs directing me to the hospital, I found Delpoint General easily. It was one of the best hospitals in the state. I was lucky to find an empty parking space near the entrance. Ambulances parked in front and a few people in scrubs smoked off to the side on benches. So strange to see these smokers in front of a place promoting wellness and health, especially those offering those practices, smoking poison in their lungs. Even more ironic with Grandma dying because of her smoking addiction.
Finding her room was easy. The front desk in the lobby provided all the information I needed. I took the elevator up the fourth floor where the ICU was located. I passed the waiting room and the small chapel as I walked down a long hall, which led me to two double doors. With a push of a button on the wall, they opened and I entered.
The first person I saw, talking to a woman behind a desk, was Aunt Lorraine. I paused to view her. She looked exactly the same with her copper-brown hair tied back in a ponytail, and dressed in jeans and a yellow pullover sweater and her brown slip-on loafers. She loved wearing sweaters during this time of year. I was dressed the complete opposite, in gray wool slacks and a button-down silk blouse under a long cashmere trench coat. She’d probably think I had dressed to impress, but this was what I typically wore. I had come far from the days when I wore jeans and T-shirts, or flannel, like most of the people in Delpoint.
She turned toward me and her mouth opened. Surprise and then recognition spread over her face. She stepped away from the desk and approached me with a smile.
I met her halfway and we hugged.
***
I waited outside Grandma’s room while Dr. Trepman finished his examination. He was an attractive and sophisticated-looking man near my aunt’s age, and had an easygoing vibe to him. He was also very friendly with my aunt, perhaps too much so. But, then again, my aunt was an attractive woman. I hoped I looked as good as she did at fifty-four, but with my own stylish fashion sense. After she introduced me to the hot doctor, she went to the ladies room. Instead of joining him in the room, I kept my distance, staying in the hall. I didn’t want him to witness my possible breakdown when I finally saw Grandma.
Aunt Lorraine came out of the women’s room and strode toward me with more of a power walk.
“Why are you out here?” she asked, sticking her head in the room.
“I’m waiting for the doctor to finish. I prefer to see Grandma alone.” I started to slouch into the wall behind me. Instead of falling back into that bad habit, I lengthened my stance and folded my hands in front of my stomach.
“Mom is having a good day.” She rubbed my shoulder and gave me a small smile.
Dr. Trepman exited the room, nodded at me, and then asked Aunt Lorraine to walk with him. It stung I was excluded from his consultation, but I didn’t complain.
Now anxious to see Grandma, I entered her room. A curtain split the room in half, showing a vacant bed near the front. She lay in the bed by the window with a view of the mountains instead of the parking lot. That was something she would enjoy, at least.
I took off my coat, laid it over a chair, and then approached her. She lay with her eyes closed. The only sounds were the sucking from the oxygen tank and her wheezing.
Grandma had always been a petite woman, but in the bed, covered by blankets, she looked so tiny, the size of a little girl. There were dark shadows under her eyes and her face was yellow, her wrinkles more pronounced. Her silver hair was knotted and snarled.
My lip quivering, I dropped in the chair at the base of the bed and covered my mouth, as if that would stop my tears. I blinked them back and drew in a shuddering breath.
Grandma moaned and then gasped. I rose from my chair, ready to call for help, but she opened her eyes and licked her lips. Awareness came to her eyes, and the corner of her mouth tilted up. She whispered my name, drew her arm from under the blankets, and held out her hand.
I grasped her hand and kissed it. She squeezed mine in return and we smiled at one another. Then I broke down in tears.
***
After a short chat with Grandma before she fell back to sleep, I stared at the vending machine down the hall. I wanted something to drink, but I couldn’t decide. My brain had shut down. When two nurses walked passed me, I became aware of my surroundings again, dropped the change in the machine, and chose a seltzer.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I had turned it back on. Stupid move on my part because I found various text messages from Bianca and now a voice message. At some point, I would call her, if only to stop her harassing me. That conversation would go over well.
I snorted and popped open the can, the carbonated bubbles tickling my throat as I took a long gulp. I then gulped more and didn’t bother to cover my mouth when I released a soft belch. Bianca would have been appalled. I giggled at
the thought and drank more.
“What’s so funny?”
I lowered my can and faced my aunt, ashamed I found humor in something when I should act more sober out of respect for Grandma. Why should I find happiness when she was dying?
“The bubbles from the seltzer tickled my nose. Want something to drink?” I offered, indicating the display of drinks behind the glass.
Aunt Lorraine slipped her hand inside her jeans pocket and nudged her chin toward my phone which was lighting up again with Bianca’s name. “Bianca is checking in?”
The sour note in her tone was clear. I choose to ignore it and put my phone away. “She wanted to make sure I arrived safely, that’s all.”
She pursed her lips but then nodded. “I’m glad you came. It’s so good to see you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t visit for the holidays—”
She flicked her hand and shrugged. “Don’t apologize. It was hard for you to come home because of work and volunteering with the governor’s race. Thinking of changing careers and going into politics?”
“Hell-heck no.” I grimaced. “It was a one-time deal.”
“Well, you do come from a long line of strong and independent women who took on leadership roles. Your grandma almost ran for mayor of Delpoint after your grandfather died.”
“I had no idea.” Grandma had been an active member in the community, so it made sense she would want to be a mentor of some kind. “You don’t fall far from the tree, Madam Principal of North Star Prep.” I saluted her with my can.
Aunt Lorraine laughed and started to respond, but then a ring in her purse stopped her. She took out her phone but didn’t answer it. Grooves in her forehead appeared as she stared at it.
“Bad news? Is it Grandma?” I threw my can in the recycling bin and headed back toward her room.
“Just a friend calling.” She didn’t offer more information, and her phone disappeared from view.
She had many friends, unlike me, so it wasn’t a surprise. I’d been a loner with the exception of one childhood friend, who I would likely see at some point. That was one interaction I wasn’t looking forward to because of the way we’d ended our friendship.
I checked my watch. It was a little past five. Suddenly, at the knowledge of the time, my stomach growled loud enough Aunt Lorraine noticed. Her lips twitched in humor.
I set my hand on my stomach and shrugged. “I’ll get something to munch on from the vending machine.”
She tugged me away from machine of fattening goodies. “I have a better suggestion. Let’s grab dinner.”
“You don’t want to stay with Grandma a little longer?” I asked as we walked down the hall.
“We’ve been here for most of the day. I’ll come back tomorrow to check on her. If there’s any problem, the hospital will call me.” She patted my hand, as if she needed to soothe me.
The exhaustion and worry was very noticeable on my aunt’s face. I could only imagine what I must look like to her with less than four hours of sleep and a gnawing concern for Grandma combined with the recent emotional upheaval in my life because of Bianca. It would do us a world of a good to eat something substantial and then sleep. I actually looked forward to sleeping in my old bedroom that hadn’t changed since college. For once I was happy to be in familiar surroundings.
“Sounds good. Do you want to pick a restaurant near the hospital?” I pressed the button for the elevator.
“Let’s go with something close to home.” Aunt Lorraine’s smile grew. “I have just the place. It used to be your favorite in high school.”
My stomach flipped. I wasn’t ready for a trip down memory lane where I would come face-to-face with my past and perhaps the one person who could force me to acknowledge how horrible I’d turned out.
Chapter Four
“I hope you don’t mind if my friend joins us,” Aunt Lorraine said as she stopped at a red light.
She sounded somewhat breathless and uncertain, which I founded odd. Could it have to do with the text message on her cell from someone named Chief?
“I don’t mind. Who’s this friend of yours?”
She actually blushed! Or I thought she did. Her cheeks were much redder than a second ago. Now I had a good idea “friend” meant more than just a buddy.
When the light turned green, she stepped on the gas a little too hard, causing the engine to roar.
“His name is Gerald, and he’s Delpoint’s police chief.” She jabbed her bottom lip with her front teeth. “He lived a few houses down from me growing up, and we went to school together. Five years ago he moved back to Delpoint for the job. He’s a widower with two children, both boys, ah, I mean, men.”
“Is he your boyfriend?” I asked with a teasing tone. Maybe the chief was her boyfriend, or a lover? If true, the chief was a lucky man because my aunt was an incredible woman. It was a shame she had never married after the shocking death of her fiancé a few years after I was born. I was thrilled she had found a romance with someone who supported her with everything going on with Grandma.
“No! We never dated or were together like that. We’re just friends.” She tugged on her silver cross necklace and flexed her fingers around the steering wheel.
Something more was going on with my aunt and her male friend. She didn’t fluster easily. I had a ton of questions to ask about her current relationship, but then she turned into the parking lot of The Horseman, a restaurant I had eaten at many times. I had once been very close friends with the owners’ daughter, who would probably be working tonight. I expected some type of confrontation. But I was an adult and could handle it.
Aunt Lorraine shut off the car and then did something I didn’t see very often. She pulled down the visor in front of her, fixed her lipstick, and rubbed lotion on her hands. She then held out the bottle to me. I simply raised an eyebrow at her primping and squirted the lotion on my hands.
“Let’s go,” she said with stiffness in her voice and got out of the car.
I finished moisturizing my hands and joined her, taking my time as we strolled up to the front doors. The exterior of The Horseman hadn’t changed at all, other than a new awning with the restaurant’s name. The brick walls and white window panels were the same. A nostalgic feeling rushed over me that pushed aside my nervousness. Almost every Friday night, Grandma, Aunt Lorraine, and I had eaten dinner here, up until I left for college. I hadn’t been inside since the summer after my freshman year when I broke ties with the town.
Aunt Lorraine strode inside with me trailing behind. As soon as we entered, clanking dishes and the buzz of conversation hit my ears. Soft jazz filtered overhead, and hungry patrons crowded tables. People sat at the bar off to the side, watching sports on the televisions, and the smells from the kitchen, of pizza baked in a wood-burning oven and pasta swept inside my nose. My stomach creaked, and my mouth watered in anticipation for those delicious carbs, and perhaps a glass of wine.
A man called Aunt Lorraine’s name. She lifted her hand in hello and bypassed the hostess to walk to the table where he stood. I inspected the older man dressed in business attire. His suit jacket hung behind his chair, and the sleeves of his white shirt were rolled below his elbows. Some of the diners looked in his direction, specifically women. I understood why a woman would stop and stare at him. He was distinguished and handsome with beautiful blue eyes and hair graying at the temples. He could be mistaken for an actor, he was that good looking— classic Hollywood, like Paul Newman or Steve McQueen.
He didn’t seem to notice he was on display. He only had eyes for my aunt. When we reached the table, he curved an arm around her back and kissed her. It was a quick kiss, but the warmth, or rather the heat in his eyes was obvious, at least to me.
Aunt Lorraine dipped her chin to her chest and said hello. She didn’t return the kiss. He then turned to me and held out his hand.
“Hello, I’m Gerald. It’s great to finally meet you.”
I felt the heat rising up my face. His smile and a dimp
le appearing in his chin made me giggly. I cleared my throat and shook his hand. He had an excellent grip.
He was also a gentleman. He held out a chair for Aunt Lorraine. After squeezing her shoulder and kissing her cheek, he did the same for me. I thanked him and shot Aunt Lorraine an approving glance. This one was a keeper. She ignored me by opening the menu, even though she knew it by heart.
“It’s great to meet you,” I said to Gerald after he sat down. “Aunt Lorraine told me you knew one another growing up?”
“Yes. My parents were friends with your grandparents. Lorraine and I used to study together in school.” He placed his hand on Lorraine’s lying on the table.
She moved her hand away and fiddled with her cross. “History. We used to study history together.”
Gerald’s smile dimmed as he stared at his empty hand. He lowered it. Based on Aunt Lorraine’s eyes widening, I assume he had poked her or perhaps done something to her leg. An almost lazy, satisfied look appeared on his face. “All those study sessions and history and social studies papers your aunt helped me with were why I went into law enforcement.”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh hush.” She lightly slapped his arm.
He chuckled and slung his hand over the back of her chair. He winked at me, and I laughed.
“Are my eyes deceiving me, or is it really Cassie Slazak?”
I jerked in my seat upon hearing that high pitched voice. Mrs. Koeman always sounded excited, unlike her husband, who was more reserved. I twisted around to face the woman who had been like a second mother to me.
“Hi, Mrs. Koeman. How are you?” I asked politely, swallowing down my trepidation that threatened to rise again.
“That’s all you have to say? Come here and give me a hug.”
