by Ruby Vincent
“Ready for this?!” Landon shouted.
I opened my mouth to reply and we shot forward. The world blurred in a haze of colors, screams, and whoops. I ping-ponged in the seat. I was so slight, my butt lifted off the chair every time we flipped and the fear that I would fall through the bars made me cling to the handles for dear life. It was too much.
I need to get off. I need to get off. I need to get off!
The coaster hurtled to the earth and my stomach shot to my throat.
“Wait for me!”
The fuzzy world of shrieks and rollercoasters blinked out.
People streamed around, bumping and shoving as they rushed to do their Christmas shopping.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
The elf rung his bell. “Right this way, kids. This way to Santa’s workshop.” The tiny bells on his shoes tinkled as he stepped toward me. “You ready to see Santa’s workshop, princess.”
I shook my head, making my ponytails smack my cheeks. “No.”
Across the bubbling fountain, a blue cap bobbed amongst the sea of people.
“Sweetie,” said the elf. “Where are your parents?”
I pointed.
“Well, go to them. All of you can come and see Santa.”
I took off, chasing after the blue cap.
“Whoo! Yes!”
I gasped. I was wrenched out of the memory with the force it took to propel the rollercoaster.
“Wasn’t that amazing, Zee?” Landon shook my thigh. “We should do it again if we have time at the end.”
My fingers shook as I scrambled for the restraints. My body twitched and shook under the restraints.
“Wait for me! Wait!”
A soft cry escaped my lips as I yanked at the belt. I needed to get out now.
Then a hand crossed in front of my eyes. Michael unbuckled me and lifted the restraints off. “Zee, you okay?” Concern laced Michael’s voice.
He took my hand and I clamped down—too hard if his wince was anything to go by. Taking it in stride, Michael helped me down and pulled me to his side. I leaned on him as we walked away from the ride to our group.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” Landon brushed my fringe from my sweaty forehead.
“You look really pale,” said Adam. “Let’s go out so you can sit down.”
“I’ve got him.” Landon tugged me out of Michael’s grasp.
I tried for a laugh but it sounded more like a whimper. “Apparently, I share more than just blood with my cousin.”
“You’re motion sick,” Adam stated. “Jaxson gets that too. You’ll feel better now that we’re on the ground. We’ll get you some water.”
The five of them led me to a superhero-themed café in front of the ride and fussed over me. It was Cole who set the cup of water in front of me. I might have reached for it but my hands were still shaking. I balled them in my lap so they wouldn’t see.
“Thanks, guys,” I said. “You can go now.”
“Go?” Melody said. “We’re not leaving you.”
I tried to laugh again. This time it sounded more like one. “I’m done with the fast rides and I don’t want to ruin your day. Please, go. I’d feel so bad if you didn’t have fun because of me. I’ll hang out and you can text me when you get on line for the slow ones.”
Landon knelt at my knee. “Then I’ll stay with you.”
“No way. You were most excited of all for today. Please don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine here.”
“I’m not going to leave you by yourself.”
“I’ll stay with him,” Michael spoke up. “I’m not a fan of rollercoasters either.”
“See,” I said. “I won’t be alone. Landon, go.”
I could see how torn he was. “Are you sure? I’m happy to stay with you.”
“We have the whole trip and after to be together, but we’re only at this park for one day. I want you to do everything you planned.”
Landon let out a sigh. “Okay, but I’m going to call you after we get off Doom and we’ll do Popeye’s. It’s nice and slow.”
I nodded. Landon gave me one last kiss on the forehead and then he, Melody, and Adam left. Cole didn’t follow them.
“I’ll be at Harry Potter world,” he said to Michael. “Catch me up there.”
“Sounds good.”
After his friend left, Michael pulled out a chair and sat before me. His knees brushed against mine as he scooted closer. “What is really up with you?”
“What do you mean?” I reached for my water and took a small sip.
“You didn’t look sick when I helped you off that ride, Zee. You looked... scared.”
I lowered my head until my hair obscured him. “I’m fine. All those flips just made me queasy.”
“If that’s all it is, why are your hands shaking?”
I turned away from him, face burning. “Please, stop.”
Michael was quiet for a moment. “Okay, I’m sorry. After you finish that, we’ll get out of here.”
“What? Why?”
“Because it looks like a comic book threw up in here and smells like it too.”
A tiny laugh escaped my lips.
“If you’re not feeling well, this is the last place you want to be.”
“Alright.” I drained my cup and the two of us left the café.
The muted sounds of the park turned up to maximum as we stepped outside. I tensed but Michael didn’t notice as he led the way.
“We can just walk around,” he said over his shoulder. “We’ll grab something to eat if we see anything good. Or we could catch up to Cole. The butterbeer is insane. You have to try it.”
His words washed over me. The noises, the shouts, the smells were all pressing on me.
“Wait, Dad!” A kid bumped into me as he chased after his father. “I want to buy cotton candy.”
“Wait for me.”
My head spun. There were so many people, moving in and out of frame, blurring around the edges of my vision. Maybe I wasn’t far off with the motion sickness because my stomach was heaving.
“No!” A scream cut through the air. “No! I don’t want to go!”
My sight cleared on a little girl a few feet in front of me wearing Gryffindor robes. Tears ran down her face as she yanked at the hand around her wrist. “I don’t want to go!”
“Stop!” A shout shattered the scene. It took me a second to realize it was ripped from my own throat. “Stop! Leave her alone!”
Michael whipped around, eyes wide. “Zee?”
Everything was spinning. Noises from the past mixed with the screams from the present and bile burned as it surged up my throat. “Stop!” I sprint past Michael’s outstretched hand.
The man’s eyes bulged as I advanced on him. Jerking back, the hood of his Ravenclaw robes slid off his head, revealing a portly, sunburned face.
“Get off of her!” I screamed.
Tourists halted in their tracks to watch the scene I was creating.
“Excuse me?” The man cried. “Who are you? What do you want?”
He pulled the girl closer and I leaped forward. “Leave her alone!”
“What are you doing?!” he bellowed as he stumbled out of my reach. “Get away from us!”
“Daddy!”
The cry pierced me. The little girl clung to her father looking terrified... of me.
“Zee,” Michael shouted. Hands grabbed me from behind. “What’s wrong?”
My head whipped around at the shocked, scared, and disgusted faces.
They’re all looking at me. They think I’m crazy. I’m not crazy!
The man flinched. “You seem crazy to me!”
I hadn’t realized I shouted it.
I couldn’t be here. I had to get out.
I ripped out of Michael’s hold and ran.
Chapter Nine
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
I ignored the vibrations in my pocket. Tears ran down my cheeks and soaked the knees of my jeans. The tiny corner of Seussland that I tuck
ed myself away in was a cramped little space between the side of a gift shop and some hedges. I could see families walking past. Children ran amongst the colorful rides and cheerful music looking like they had never been happier.
I lowered my head, encasing it in the circle of my arms as I choked back a sob.
It’s been so long since I’ve reacted this badly. Why is this happening now? What will it take to make it stop?
“Zela?” I lifted my head and met Michael’s eyes. He shoved through the tiny space, carefully making his way over to me. “There you are.”
I gaped at him. “How did you know I was here?” My voice was barely more than a croak.
“I didn’t know.” Michael sat down and stretched his long legs through the hedges. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you for the last thirty-five minutes. You didn’t pick up your phone. Are you okay?”
“How can you ask me that?” I hugged my legs to my chest. “You saw my show.”
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
My nails dug into my thighs. “I just... heard her screaming,” I whispered. “I thought he was hurting her.”
“Oh. Well, it’s good that you wanted to help.”
I shook my head roughly. “There’s nothing good about going off like a crazy person.”
“You’re not crazy.” Michael pushed my hair from my face. “Don’t say that about yourself. But, Zee, you don’t look well.”
“There’s too many people.” Fresh tears collected in my eyes. “So much noise and shoving and I don’t know where anyone is, or who anyone is.”
“You don’t like crowds.”
“I can do crowds, but Mom was always with me. She’s not here.” I wasn’t making much sense now, but the words tumble from my lips. “She held my hand.”
“Okay. I understand.” Michael caught my hand as I reached up to scrub my face. “Come with me.”
“No.” I recoiled when he tried to pull me up. “I can’t go back out there.”
“Zela, trust me.”
I’m not certain what it was. It might have been the gentleness in his voice. It might have been the thumb tenderly stroking the inside of my palm. Or it could have been both that allowed him to bring me to my feet.
Michael led me out of our hiding space. I went rigid the moment the people and noise assaulted my senses.
“Hold on to me,” he said.
I didn’t get a chance to ask why before the crowd blinked out. Michael enfolded me under his arm and his jacket draped over my face. I looked up at him and he smiled.
“Ready?”
It took a minute, but I wrapped my arms around his waist. “I’m ready.”
Michael didn’t rush. He walked out of there calmly while I buried myself in the haven that was beneath his coat. I couldn’t hear much with his arm covering my ear. I could see only a sliver through his coat, and the smell of burned popcorn couldn’t penetrate the sweet, spicy scent that was Michael.
Eventually, my tears slowed. My heart stopped trying to escape through my mouth and my twisting stomach settled.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“You’re welcome.”
I had no idea where he was taking me, but I knew we left Seussland when the music changed. Someone bumped into me and I jerked.
“Sorry,” Michael said. “I’ll be more careful. We’re almost there.”
“Where are we going?” I should have pulled my head out and looked, but at that moment, nothing seemed more unappealing to me than to trade what was out there for what was in here.
“Away from all of these people.”
How can we? We’d get in massive trouble if we left the park without permission.
But I didn’t voice my thoughts. I didn’t care how. I just wanted him to make it happen.
We walked for a little while more, then came to a stop. “Two, please.”
“That’s one hundred and ten dollars.”
I made a noise from the depths of his jacket. “A hundred dollars? For what?”
“For you.”
Cheeks warming, I snapped my mouth shut. What was I supposed to say to that?
My anticipation built as Michael led me on. Peeking through, I saw metal bars.
Are we getting in line for another ride?
“Okay. You can look now if you want.”
I lifted the flap of his jacket and blinked. Looming before me was the Hogwarts Express.
He grabbed my hand when the doors opened. “Come on. You’ll like this.”
Together, we followed a charming man in a red and gold uniform to a compartment toward the end of the train. He closed us in and I knew right away why Michael brought me here. Eight comfortable, plush seats but they were only taken by the two of us. We were alone in the softly lit space. All the noise and people from the park were completely shut out.
I relaxed as the train took off. A scene played on the screen of what outside the true Hogwarts Express would look like.
“We can ride for as long as you want,” he said. “If they kick us out, we’ll just get back in the line.”
A tiny smile formed on my lips. It wobbled for a moment and then disappeared, but still, it was a smile. “Thank you for this. I’ll pay you back.”
He shook his head. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll spend more than that on souvenirs this week.”
We fell quiet. For a moment, all you could hear was Harry Potter’s and Ron Weasley’s voices filling the compartment. I shut them out as I gazed at Michael.
I don’t understand. Why is he doing this for me?
“Why are you being so nice to me?” I asked, finally voicing my thoughts. “You should hate me for forcing you to lose.”
Michael frowned. “How can you ask me that? You know why, Butterfly.”
“Butterfly?”
Michael gave me a strange look that I’m sure matched the one I was giving him.
“Why would you think I hate you?” he asked. “I told you it was my choice to lose and one I was willing to make if it meant you’d forgive me. You’re the first person other than Cole I’ve gotten close to in a while and I... did what I did. All I want is to make things right with my butterfly.”
A flush crept up my neck. “Why are you calling me butterfly?”
“Why are you pretending you don’t know?”
“Why can’t you see that I’m not pretending?”
He cocked his head. “Seriously? You didn’t read my letter?”
“What letter?”
“The one on top of the chocolate wings.”
I looked at him blankly.
“The present that I left in front of your door?”
“Present in front of my...?” I sucked in a breath. “You mean you left those?”
“Yes. The water bottle, shoes, and chocolate wings.”
My mouth formed a tiny “o” as realization dawned. “I got the water bottle.”
“What happened to the other gifts?”
“Adam threw them away.”
His jaw dropped. “He did what?”
“There was no name on them and For All’s been active again. We didn’t know what to think.”
“If you had opened the chocolate, you would have seen my name!”
I giggled. Michael was so outraged I couldn’t help it. “That’s what I said.”
“The last gift I revealed it was me and wrote you a whole letter telling you how I feel.”
“How you feel?” I repeated. My pulse began to quicken after all the work he’d done to bring it down.
“I also explained,” he continued, “that I call you butterfly in my head because sometimes when I watch you run, you’ll put your arms out and flap them like you’re about to take off.”
I blushed hot and fierce. “But I— You— I only do that when I’m alone! Where were you hiding?”
He chuckled—a smooth, deep sound that drowned out the fake adventure pouring through our speakers. “You run at night to avoid me, but sometimes I go out late
if I miss my morning run. I saw you the first time and a few other times since. It’s not just that you pretend you’re flying. You hide who you are behind this cocoon, but beneath it is this strong, smart girl who never gives up. A butterfly... is you.”
“Oh.” I lowered my eyes and silently wished my wig was longer to shield me from his penetrating gaze. “What else did the letter say?”
“You’ll have to fish it out of the garbage to find out.”
“That’s not fair,” I said in between laughing. “It was Adam who threw it away. I voted to keep our suspicious packages.”
“Too bad.” I could practically hear him smirking. “Maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll write you another letter someday.”
Lifting my head, I didn’t think too hard as I replied, “Then, I hope I get lucky.”
Michael rose and the cushion dipped as he sat next to me. He put his arm around me and I was plunged into his spicy, sweet aura once more. “Your chances are good.”
MICHAEL AND I RODE the train back and forth five times. I felt like myself after the second time, but kept riding with him for reasons I didn’t let myself think about. On our fourth ride, Landon blew up my phone asking where I was.
“Tell them to meet us at the Confit Grill,” Michael said. “You must be hungry.”
Actually, I was starving. We left the area for the Hogwarts Express and returned to the fray. Michael didn’t tuck me into his jacket again, but he did take my hand and hold me close as we weaved through the crowd. I should have pulled away, but I found his presence too comforting to give it up. I couldn’t stand it if I freaked out again.
The crowd thinned out as we left Harry Potter land. We turned down a path and amusement rides fell away in favor of food stands and restaurants. I knew he chose this place for me when we stepped inside the Confit Grill and were treated to a quiet, traditional eatery. No screaming, no buffets, and no sticky, soda-stained floors.
“Can we have a booth at the back, please? The rest of our friends are on the way.”
“Of course. Right this way.”
We slid into our booth and just got our hands on the menu when Adam, Melody, Landon, and Cole showed up.
