“Miss Bennet, do you realise that you are consoling me about long ago hurts while you are in such a mournful position? You have a truly generous heart!” He looked at her intently and gently took her hand in his. “It is this reason as well as your intelligence, your lively wit, playful manners, and perfect loveliness that I find myself captivated by you.”
Darcy searched Elizabeth’s face for a sign of encouragement. Her eyes had widened when he first reached for her hand, and she seemed to be in a state of disbelief as he continued his speech. He supposed that she had felt unworthy of his notice. “It may surprise you to hear that I have decided to end my bachelor’s existence. I determined to do so just before arriving at Netherfield and had planned to devote time in the upcoming season to finding a wife. My estate needs heirs, and I wish to end the schemes of my relations once and for all.”
Elizabeth stared blankly at him. Deciding it was best to illustrate just how much he admired her, he brought her knuckle to his lips before continuing his unexpected proposal. “Why should I wait for London when a pleasing alternative is before me? Instead of offering for a titled miss, I find myself needing to be in your presence, to experience your joy for life.”
Once he had begun, he found he did not wish to stop speaking of his feelings. Indeed, they surprised even him, but he meant every word. “I have a very deep affection and regard for you. I have never felt such admiration for another woman before. Please be my wife. I am convinced you are the only one who can be the perfect mistress for my home and sister for my dear Georgiana. Let me care for you and your family. Please be my companion for life.”
Darcy waited with bated breath. He proposed only a marriage of convenience. He admired Elizabeth but would not call it anything more. Still, his heart raced, and he felt the same anticipation one feels before pushing their horse to jump over a fence for the first time. He was part dread, part elation.
Elizabeth threw his hand away, and she turned her head. The pain he felt at her rejection was far more than disappointment. His body viscerally reacted as much as if she had struck him. Why should she refuse him? He had much to offer, and she had nothing that could add to his material comfort!
“You refuse me, madam?” His voice was cold, and he was glad to hear it. If she perceived the unaccountable torment he now felt, his shame would be complete.
“Yes!” she said vehemently and turned towards him. Her face was red with fury. Then, all colour drained. She dropped her eyes. “No.”
“I do not understand your meaning.” Darcy hated the traitorous skip of his heart when she intimated her acceptance. If she refused him, he could find one hundred women to take her place. Why should he thrill at the thought of her reluctant acceptance?
Elizabeth took a deep breath and then met Darcy’s eyes. Her face looked as passive as stone. “I wish to reject you, but I cannot. I accept your offer with many thanks.”
“And do you suppose I would want you this way? What man wishes for an unwilling bride?”
“I understand a man with as much pride as you would feel the blow of my hesitance. However, it would be dishonourable for you to rescind your offer despite the honesty of my feelings. I trust you have too much pride in your name for that. Whatever wound to your ego I have inflicted will soon be soothed. After all, you have only offered a marriage of the merest convenience, and you do have my gratitude.”
Her gratitude! He had never wanted that! “I did offer a marriage out of necessity for both of us. That does not mean I proposed a marriage of separate lives. I will not tolerate a wife who takes lovers.”
The loud crack against his cheek rang in Darcy’s ears only a second before the sting overspread one side of his face. He had never seen her hand move. Still, it was nothing to the reaction he had to her initial rejection.
“How dare you? I may be lower than you, but I am a gentlewoman and a Christian. I know what a woman’s lot is when she marries—even if it is not for love. What do you promise me? Do you think I care at all for your riches and carriages?”
“I offer accommodation for your family!”
“And the price of fidelity is too much? Perhaps if my dowry were more, I would be worth it.”
“Hold your tongue, madam. I do not take kindly to insults thrown at me. I do not mean to take a wife and then forsake her. You were the one who clearly abhorred the notion of marriage to me. What should I assume but that you would take the first opportunity to find comfort in another’s arms?” His own arms itched to swoop her up and kiss away any arguments she had.
“I will not be made a fool of, Mr. Darcy. Marriage to me will mean a financial loss and loss of esteem in the eyes of your family and friends. You may need a wife and believe I am a convenient choice, but you will regret it. I could not take the whispers and insinuations in such a situation”—she paused to wipe a tear from her eye—“knowing as I do that I choose this for my family’s sake and will have lost my dearest father and have a husband with no affection for me. I will not have the gossips say that I first entrapped you, and then you tired of me.” More tears streaked down her cheeks.
The desire to prove his intention of faithfulness nearly overwhelmed Darcy. He hungered to taste Elizabeth’s lips like a starved man craved bread. He needed her in his arms more than he needed his next breath. He shoved a shaky hand in his pocket, determined to overcome his instincts. Withdrawing another handkerchief, he pushed it into her hand. He longed to cup her face in his hands, to remove his gloves and feel her skin against his. He would kiss away each tear and murmur love and faithfulness into her ears.
“I have angered you.” Elizabeth’s voice was a welcome interruption to his secret thoughts.
He had at first been angry at her assumption, but as she began to cry and explained her own insecurity, he felt nothing but forgiveness. If his face appeared upset to her now, it was terror at the direction of his own passions.
“No. You honour me with your honesty.” She did not meet his eyes. He suspected fear and sorrow replaced her earlier boldness. He tilted her face up with his thumb on her chin. For a moment, he was caught in her gaze, nearly drowning in her brown depths. “I do not believe I will ever tire of you.”
Elizabeth’s right brow lifted for half a second, and a ghost of a smile formed on her lips. “I am certain most couples believe that when they marry—even if only for convenience. Few people are stupid enough to wed a person they think will plague them all of their days.”
Darcy stepped closer still. “I know I will never tire of you. I have enjoyed our debates and your witty rejoinders. Your intelligence and eye for observation will make you a worthy companion.”
Her lashes lowered. “I know that is not all men require in their wives. You would need an heir, and I know you do not think of me in that way.”
“Is that what holds you back? You doubt my admiration of your person?” To Darcy’s delight, Elizabeth blushed. Now he could resist temptation no more. His hand cupped one rosy cheek, then the other. She allowed him to angle her head just right. Then, before either of them had a moment to withdraw, his lips met hers.
A deep hunger awoke in Darcy. Instantly, he knew she had never been kissed before. She stilled against him, but when he only increased the pressure, she finally puckered her lips, the lush softness inviting him to teach her more. Pulling back, just enough to see the approval on her face, he kissed her again. He continued with small pecks until he felt her lean forward first, wanting another. The next time their lips touched, he held firm against hers, one hand angling neck to a better position. Hearing her sigh, he trailed kisses across her cheek before reaching her ear.
“Never doubt my passion for you again, my dearest,” he whispered. “I desire you very much and have so much more I want to show you.”
Elizabeth tilted her head to see him, her body fairly humming and tempting him far more than she could realise. “There is more to kissing?”
“So much more.” Against every instinct in his body, he stepped away
from her. He only wanted her to know that he had no qualms about the happiness of their marriage bed. He did not wish to seduce her.
Now that he was at a safe distance from pulling her into his arms and teaching her the joys of intimacy, Darcy realised the flaw in his reckless plan. If she agreed to marry him now, it would be due to a passion-induced haze and one she would likely regret. In the few minutes of their discussion this morning, Elizabeth had been through a gamut of emotions. It was too much to expect her to put aside everything and think clearly.
Darcy stared at Elizabeth, unsure of what to say or do next. She stared back. Finally, after several minutes of silence, she nodded. “Well, I suppose that answers my doubts.”
She began to walk off, and Darcy’s heart sank. He told himself to give her a few days’ time. She had not refused again, so there was hope. After the kiss they shared, he wished more than ever to make Elizabeth his wife.
“Are you coming, Mr. Darcy?” Elizabeth called as she walked down the hill. “I think we ought to talk to my father right away.”
Darcy could not stop the grin which split his face. Immediately turning, he quickly caught up with her. “I think you had better call me William now.”
Elizabeth merely nodded, but Darcy detected a slight blush on her cheeks. It deepened when he wrapped her arm around his.
Chapter Four
Elizabeth’s feet slowed as they neared Longbourn. She did not relish entering the house, which now had a gloomy pall over it. Taking Darcy through the back entrance, as she hoped to avoid Mr. Collins, Elizabeth led her intended to her father’s book room. Mr. Bennet had not been moved from there, as the doctor believed the stairs would be too much for him and her father had objected to being carried.
Inside the chamber sat Jane. She worked on embroidery as Mr. Bennet lay quietly reading.
“Is that you, Lizzy?” Mr. Bennet asked without looking up, his voice strained and rough.
“It is. How did you know?”
“I know all the steps of my family. What is more, I know you have something to tell me which you think will displease me.”
Tears pricked Elizabeth’s eyes. She had not thought her father noticed that much about them. She had always loved him, but perhaps she had been too harsh on him.
“Well, come here, child.”
“Jane, might we have a word with Papa alone?”
At the word “we,” both Jane and Mr. Bennet finally glanced up. The look of astonishment on their faces would have caused Elizabeth to laugh if the occasion were not so sombre.
“Of course,” Jane said as she gathered her things and stood. “It is good to see you again, Mr. Darcy. Do excuse me.”
Quickly leaving the room, Jane shut the door behind her.
“Well, I must confess I am curious about this.” Mr. Bennet chuckled, which led to a coughing fit for several minutes.
Elizabeth brought him a glass of water, her heart lurching.
“Do not fuss so over me,” he said. “Your worrying cannot stop the inevitable.”
“Please do not talk so. Mr. Evans might be wrong; doctors have been wrong before. Might we send for a physician?”
“There is no use in fruitlessly hoping or spending money. Now, your mother tells me Mr. Collins has made you an offer of marriage, and that I must insist you accept it for the sake of her and your sisters. However, as he is not the young man before me, I suppose you have found an alternative solution?”
Elizabeth smiled to see some of her father’s usual cheerfulness come out. He raised a brow at her, his eyes dancing between her and Darcy. “Mr. Darcy has asked for my hand, and I have accepted.”
“Indeed!”
Although said in surprise, Elizabeth perceived her father was not as astonished as he pretended. She supposed it was because Darcy had entered with her, but she wondered at her father’s lack of amazement that she had accepted.
“Are you quite certain that is what you wish, Mr. Darcy? Elizabeth has not tricked you in some way, has she?”
“Papa!”
“Sir!”
Elizabeth and Darcy spoke simultaneously, making Bennet grin. He waved a hand at them. “I am only teasing. I know what your family and acquaintances may say about such a union and wanted to see how you would handle such an argument. I also know your first opinion of Elizabeth was not very high, nor hers of you. It seems you have both altered your feelings since then.”
Again, he raised a brow, and Elizabeth blushed. Only yesterday she was complaining about Mr. Darcy. How mercenary of her to marry him solely for the benefit of her family! Would her father tell Mr. Darcy the truth? She fidgeted in her seat. Fortunately, Darcy saved Elizabeth from embarrassment by speaking.
“Mr. Bennet, I know my demeanour in the neighbourhood has not been the picture of gentility. However, I have come to admire Miss Elizabeth and believe she would be an asset as a wife. It is well that you bring up the fact that my family and friends might disapprove of the match. Your daughter and I have already discussed this.”
Elizabeth noted with chagrin that Mr. Darcy had no qualms about repeatedly stating that no one he knew would appreciate their marriage. Still, she had never displayed cowardice before, and she would not be quelled from helping her family because of ladies like Miss Bingley.
“Indeed? I am surprised a man with your pride would deign to marry a country gentleman’s daughter with no fortune. Your relatives must prefer someone else for you.”
“I assure you their preferences are of no consequence. None of the ladies they have ever suggested are superior to Miss Elizabeth in the most important ways.”
“You are a very young man to be so determined. Are you sure you are ready to thumb your nose at your relations? I do not know that I should give my blessing to a man who uses my daughter only as a means of rebellion. Although I am hardly in the position to refuse you.”
Elizabeth’s eyes grew wide. How was it that even when her father was sick unto death, he found enough energy and breath to tease and provoke? Beside her, Darcy stiffened.
“I did not propose to your daughter out of rebellion. I have run my estate since my father’s death five years ago. In that time, I have thwarted plot after plot from my family. I have recently determined that to end their schemes once and for all, I should take a wife, and Miss Elizabeth is the most eligible candidate I have met.”
Mr. Bennet stroked his chin as he peered at his potential son-in-law. Elizabeth held her breath.
“And you will not regret your decision later? Many men do, you know.”
Elizabeth did not have to wonder at her father’s thoughts. He had married her mother in a fit of self-determination and now regretted it daily. Her parents were fond of each other, but there was no genuine and abiding love. Misunderstanding and lack of respect had grown in its place. Elizabeth had always meant to marry for love to avoid having a similar household. Alas, one could not have everything they wished for.
Unexpectedly, Darcy chuckled. “If I say I am determined, you call me rebellious. If I were to admit to any doubts, you would say I am a coward. The truth is, there is nothing I can say that would convince you I am worthy of Miss Elizabeth’s hand. That is as it should be.” He smiled at Elizabeth before returning his eyes to her father. “As you have said you are not in a position to refuse me and know I can amply provide for your daughter, I assume that this was all done as a means to amuse rather than put me off. Go on, sir; I am not afraid of teasing.”
Mr. Bennet’s brows had raised at the beginning of the young man’s speech before settling in a relaxed position, a grin emerging. His eyes met his daughter’s, communicating his pleasure and surprise. Elizabeth shared her father’s emotions completely. Who knew Mr. Darcy could handle a tease so well? Miss Bingley would be humiliated for him.
“Well, now you have taken all the joy out of it. Teasing is never as much fun when the participant knows the game.”
“Papa!” Elizabeth laughed. “Do not take him seriously now, Mr. Darcy. He is
still attempting to shock.”
“I am not surprised to hear it. I gather the apple does not fall far from the tree.”
“You have been on the receiving end of some of Lizzy’s teases, then? Well, there is nothing more to say, sir. You must know what you are about and still want to take her off my hands. Beware, daughter, for I worry you must be marrying a man of unsound intellect. She does not ramble on about lace, I will give you that, man.”
“No, Miss Elizabeth’s conversation is far livelier than that. There is never a dull moment when she is around.”
Darcy looked at her with genuine admiration, and Elizabeth’s heart skipped a beat. Did he truly enjoy her liveliness? She had believed him to be staid and too refined to partake in any sort of merriment. Perhaps he was seeking a reprieve from such a life. She had never been considered useful to another person before.
“Very well, I will tease no longer. In any case, I tire. Well, Lizzy, I congratulate you and am very pleased that although you refused Mr. Collins, you have found a far more sensible match. Perhaps that will be enough to appease your mother.”
Elizabeth merely shook her head and stood to kiss her father’s cheek. “Thank you, Papa. Shall I send Jane back in?”
“No, I think I will sleep. Go and tell your mother.”
Elizabeth’s smile vanished at the grim prospect. “I think I will wait until after Mr. Darcy leaves.”
“Mr. Darcy is not to be put off by your mother’s effusions, I believe,” Mr. Bennet replied but arched his brow and looked at Darcy with a challenge in his eye.
“Indeed, I will not. I am very pleased that our union will bring Mrs. Bennet joy.” Darcy stood as Elizabeth approached the door.
“Just a moment, Mr. Darcy. I would speak with you about the settlement and arrangements now if you please.”
“Of course, sir.”
“Go on with your news, Lizzy.”
Elizabeth sent a nervous smile to the men and opened the door. Just before she left, she thought she heard her father mutter, “There is little time to waste.” Her heart sank, and her knees wobbled as she left the room.
Mr. Darcy's Grieving Wife Page 3
