Miriam mentally debated whether she should tell Elizabeth about what happened in the hotel room. She decided in the end not to tell her, because that would mean telling her about Daniel, and his death. And the real reason that she was here. And she couldn’t risk that. Especially not now.
So she just smiled politely and moved on to other topics of conversation.
Miriam didn’t see Shivan that day. Her absence was an conspicuous as her presence. Miriam wondered where she was, and what she might be doing. Miriam hoped that Shivan and Pama were not planning anything for her.
That night, Miriam waited until “lights out” for all the other rooms, and then she quietly snuck out of her room and made her way down the stairs and into the main courtyard. The stars were bright in the night sky, and a chill had crept into the air. She hugged herself and made her way across to the main building where all the assemblies and most of the sessions took place. The lights were still on in some rooms upstairs, she could see the faint yellow glow through the curtains.
Something was going on up there, and she resolved that she was going to find out. The front door was closed and locked. Probably for the best, she thought, since that was a good way to get discovered. She looked around for another way. At the corner of the building was a large tree, the branches touching the walls of the building near the window.
“It’s been a while, but oh well,” Miriam said to herself, grabbing on to a low branch of the tree. “Here goes!”
With a pull, she hoisted herself up and onto the branch. She looked for a foothold, then another branch, and climbed up. Higher and higher she climbed, until she had reached the height of the window. She crawled out onto a thick branch and sat there, peering through the small opening in the curtains. The window was open, and voices faintly floated out to her. One of them was unmistakable: it belonged to Shivan.
“So we can be sure that you understand,” Shivan was saying. “This case, whenever it comes to court, must be resolved in our favor. We have it on good authority that they are planning to sue.”
A male voice answered. Miriam could see the man. He looked like he was in his late fifties, with some graying hair. He was lean and tall, well groomed and well spoken.
“You can be assured,” he replied, “The case will be dismissed.”
Chapter 9
Miriam watched in disbelief as the man listened obediently to Shivan’s instructions.
“There are some other matters which will need some attention as well,” Shivan was saying.
“Of course,” he nodded.
And then, a different voice. It was Ntanshi Pama. His figure moved in front of the opening in the curtains, blocking her view. She could only see his back.
“We are glad to see that you understand the important of these cases, judge,” Pama intoned in his deep voice.
“It’s important to 2F, there can be no greater cause,” the judge replied.
Miriam gasped.
“Very well, Judge Williams,” it was Shivan’s voice again. “Good to talk with you, as always.”
“I am at your service.”
Ntanshi Pama moved away from the window. Judge Williams was not standing in the room anymore. He must have left. Miriam felt herself trembling. She sat on the branch for a few minutes, collecting her thoughts. Then she climbed down gingerly and made her way back to her room, where she lay awake in bed, thinking, for most of the night.
Over the next few days, Miriam behaved like the perfect 2F student. She was punctual for every session and dutifully completed all the assigned exercises. She didn’t want to draw any more attention to herself. It seemed to be working. Even Shivan seemed to lose interest in her. She seemed to be preoccupied with some other matters which were perhaps more important than keeping an eye on Miriam. During the breaks in between sessions, Miriam spent the time talking with Elizabeth. She didn’t tell Elizabeth about the conversation she had witnessed with Judge Williams. But it was always at the front of her mind. She was determined to learn more.
She started venturing out at night more often. She discovered that there was a lot of activity that happened after lights out for the regular 2F attendees. The 2F leadership apparently did all their real work after lights out. Meetings were common, as were sessions conducted by Pama himself for his inner circle. Shivan was present at every one of these meetings and sessions. Apparently, she held a very high rank in his organization.
When she had the opportunity, Miriam would take pictures or make videos with her phone. She wondered whether Daniel had similarly gathered evidence and was getting ready to reveal it to the world. Perhaps that was the important thing that he had wanted to tell her. This might be the reason that they killed him.
One particular night, Miriam lingered much longer than she usually would. She had managed to find an unlocked side door to the main building, and had slipped inside. She crept along the dark, empty hallway until she reached the double doors that led to one of the main meeting rooms. Inside, Pama and several others were gathered, seated in a small circle. The group consisted of Pama, Shivan, and several other members of 2F senior leadership. Judge Williams was also present.
Miriam crouched by the double door, pulled her phone out of her pocket, and began recording.
Pama was standing in the center of the circle and vigorously explaining something to the crowd. Every few minutes they would respond in unison with some sort of phrase that sounded like “Amen”. Miriam couldn’t quite make out exactly what it was, but later realized that they were saying “Pama!”
“I tell you now!” Pama was saying with all his energy, “The time is coming. The time is now. The time is at hand! We will prevail!”
“Pama!”
“For those who believe, I offer everlasting happiness, everlasting joy, everlasting bliss!”
“Pama!”
“For those that are the non-believers, they will burn! They will burn and they will gnash their teeth and they will suffer horrendously! But we shall sit in pleasure and witness their agony!”
“Pama!”
“Who is ready for the mind cleanse?”
A woman stood up and walked towards Pama, eyes downcast. She had long blonde hair and must have been in her twenties. She was wearing a long white sleeveless dress.
“Are you ready?” Pama asked her, his tone quiet.
“I am ready to receive, Holy and Divine Pama,” she replied.
“Then present yourself and be cleansed of the rot!”
Without hesitation, she slipped the straps off her shoulders and her dress fell to the floor, leaving her completely naked before the assembled crowd. Pama regarded her body with pleasure, taking his time. Then he stepped closer to her, placed both his hands on either side of her head, and began shrieking in a foreign language. The sound was shrill and disturbing. Miriam wanted to cover her ears, but she had to hold the phone for the recording. She grimaced as she witnessed this spectacle. Eventually, the blonde woman also began to scream, her body convulsing and arms flailing.
After several minutes, Pama finally relented and released her. She collapsed onto the ground while he returned to his seat and wiped the sweat off his forehead with a handkerchief.
“My dear,” he said, when he had regained his breath, “You have gone through the mind cleanse. Now you are pure. You are cleansed of your impurities and sins. You are reborn in the image of the first and the fearless. Rise anew, my child!”
At his prompt, she rose to her feet.
“You may sit,” Pama said, indicating her seat. She obediently took her seat, still completely naked.
Miriam noticed the battery on her phone was starting to get low. 27%. She tried tapping the phone screen to get the battery menu to appear, but it wasn’t working. She switched hands, but as she did so, she lost her balance and grabbed the wooden frame of the door. As her hand hit the frame, it made a noise, loud enough to be heard. She froze.
Pama was talking about the various stages of 2F, and he was quite loud
. Miriam hoped that no one had heard. But Shivan, who was sitting with her back to Miriam, now turned around in her seat and looked at the double doors. Miriam quickly hid from view, her heart thundering her chest. She held her breath, listening intently. Pama was still talking. There didn’t seem to be any pause. She couldn’t hear any footsteps.
Slowly, she looked through the opening in the doors again. Shivan was still in her seat, and had turned her attention back to to Pama. Miriam let out a soft sigh of relief. She continued her recording.
The next day, Elizabeth noticed that Miriam seemed to be a little quiet.
“What’s wrong?” Elizabeth asked. They were taking a walk along their favorite hiking trail under the shade of the trees. “You seem to have something on your mind.”
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Miriam replied. “Just a little tired.”
Elizabeth stopped and touched Miriam’s arm.
“I’ve known you long enough to know that it’s not just nothing. Something is up. If there’s anything I’ve learned during my time with 2F, it’s the importance of family. And we are a family. You can share whatever you are feeling without fear of judgement.”
“That’s just it,” said Miriam with a sigh. “Let me ask you something. How much do you really know about Pama? How much do you trust him?”
She could see Elizabeth tense up as she asked her questions. She immediately realized that it might have been a mistake to bring it up.
“You know what, it’s fine,” she said, waving her hand, “I think I just haven’t been sleeping well lately. I’ll be ok. Let’s finish this round before the next session starts.”
But Elizabeth didn’t move. “It’s alright,” she said softly, “I meant what I said. If there’s something you need to talk about, even if it’s about His Holiness, we can talk about it. I won’t take offense.”
Miriam took a deep breath. “Alright,” she said. “I think that there is more going on in 2F than we are all aware of. There seems to be layers of different stuff happening. And being a participant in the retreat, people like me are only aware of the most surface-level layer. Does that make sense?”
Elizabeth remained quiet as she listened to Miriam. She nodded slightly. And then she said something unexpected.
“I know what you’re saying,” she remarked, “I have felt that too. There is more happening, but I always considered that as advanced studies, where you go when you develop in your spirituality.”
“It’s not that,” Miriam shook her head sadly, “It’s something else, Elizabeth. It’s not spirituality at all. Tell me, do you know exactly what the mind cleanse is?”
“Conceptually. It’s the process we go through to cleanse our mind of impurities. It is a great honor to go through it.”
“How is that cleansing exactly done? How are the impurities removed? Has anyone explained that to you?”
“It’s a very delicate process. It is a sacred ceremony, so they don’t discuss it openly.”
“Do you know what it consists of, exactly?”
“Not exactly, no,” Elizabeth confessed, “I figured that I would learn when the time came. They would reveal it to me at the right time.”
“I have seen it.”
Elizabeth’s eyes became wide with astonishment.
“You couldn’t have! There is no way.”
“I went to the main hall after lights out. I saw Pama and Shivan and the others at their gathering. They performed the mind cleanse on someone. I saw it happen, and how it is done.”
Elizabeth’s mouth dropped open. “You violated lights out rule? That is a punishable offense.”
“Yes, I know, but I didn’t come here to follow the rules. I came here to learn the truth. And it’s not what they’re telling you.”
Elizabeth shook her head, trying to process everything that Miriam had just said.
“If they find out what you did,” she began, but Miriam cut her off.
“Are you going to report me?” she asked.
Elizabeth frowned. “If I do, they will punish you harshly.”
She looked at Miriam for a long moment. Finally, she made a resolution. “No, you are my family. I will not report you. But, what are you trying to accomplish by sneaking around at night after lights out? Why are you doing all this?”
“To learn the truth. 2F is not what they claim to be. And Pama is not a spiritual, divine guru. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but it’s better if you know. I don’t want you to spend your days being lied to.”
Elizabeth nodded. “Yes,” she said slowly, “I’ve had enough of that with my ex-husband to last me a lifetime.”
It was time to attend the next training session, so they hurried back. They both had a sense of urgency and seriousness about the situation now.
That night, Miriam sat on the bed in her room, staring at her phone. She needed a way to contact the outside world. If only her phone had a cell signal. Or a WiFi signal. Or some way to send a message. She earnestly wanted to contact Agent Dawn. She had enough video and photographic evidence on her phone to at least begin an investigation into 2F. But she couldn’t do anything while she was stuck inside the compound. And Elizabeth had explained to her what the 2F punishments involved. Solitary confinement and isolation didn’t sound at all appealing. If she tried to escape the compound and was caught, she would be in a much worse situation, and nobody would even know that she was in trouble. No, she needed a way to contact Agent Dawn. That was the best approach.
“Think,” she said to herself. “If I can’t use electronics, maybe the old fashioned way is better.”
She had an idea. She rummaged through her bag until she found a piece of paper and a pen. Sitting down on the floor, she started writing. She covered both sides of the paper, writing neatly and carefully to make the best use of the limited space. When she had completed her note, she carefully folded it so it was the size of a regular business card. She fished around in her purse for Agent Dawn’s card, which she attached on top of the note with a rubber band. She put this into a small plastic bag and folded it.
“Time to get you out of here,” she said, as she put the little package into her jeans pocket.
Chapter 10
“Talk to me after the session. There is something I have to tell you.”
Miriam nodded in acknowledgement, then sat down for the meditation session. She did not allow any emotion to show on her face, but her heart was beating fast and her anxiety level shooting up. Why, all of a sudden, after all these days, did Shivan was to talk with her? She had been literally ignoring her for all this time, and now, out of the blue, she had something to tell her? Had she discovered Miriam’s nightly escapades? Had she seen her the other night during the mind cleanse but kept quiet about it? Were they going to put her in solitary confinement? Had they somehow figured out that she was taking photos and making videos of their secret after-hours sessions? Was she going to meet the same fate as Daniel in this remote compound in the middle of nowhere, and nobody would ever know what happened to her? These thoughts raced through her mind in quick succession, one after the other, getting more and more intense. She realized that she was sweating and breathing heavily. She took a quick glance around. The students sitting on either side of her had their eyes closed and were focused on the meditation. Their attention was on the lesson and their breathing, they didn’t notice her. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly and silently, trying to calm herself. She kept her eyes open, watching Shivan, who was teaching the class as if everything was completely normal.
“Get a grip,” Miriam told herself, “Focus. Stay calm. You got this.”
Ironically, the meditation exercise actually helped her calm down. Eventually, she closed her eyes and followed along as Shivan gave instruction. By the end of the session, she was feeling relaxed and on an even keel.
The other students gathered their belongings and began to leave. Some stopped briefly to thank Shivan. Miriam sat where she was and continued the breathing exe
rcise. When everyone else had left, she stood and walked up to Shivan.
“You wanted to see me?” she asked meekly, on purpose.
“Yes,” Shivan smiled, “I have some very good news. I wanted to let you know beforehand.”
“Sure,” Miriam nodded, wondering what kind of news would put Shivan in such an apparent good mood.
“His Holiness has decided that he will see you,” Shivan announced, beaming a proud smile at Miriam.
“I— I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” Miriam wasn’t sure how she was supposed to react and was also confused about what this was supposed to mean. She knew that an audience with Pama would be considered an honor among the devotees, but other than what Elizabeth had told her, she wasn’t sure exactly what it entailed.
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