by Odette Stone
As we stood there, it dawned on me that we were in this together. We were having a baby. I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. How had we gotten here?
“You ordered the crib,” he said. “From New York?”
I ran my hand over the tiny mattress. “Yes.”
“Okay, make sure you give me the receipt so that I can pay you back.”
My entire body froze. I looked over at him. He moved back to his project on the floor, the change table. I had ordered the bedroom set from an exclusive baby store called Giggle, in New York.
“For the furniture?”
“Yes.”
“I can pay for it.” Jesus. It wasn’t like I didn’t have the money.
“I provide for you.”
“Yeah, but I can help.”
“I’m your husband. I’m working. I take care of you and our bills.”
I looked over my shoulder at him. He looked up at me, his expression was clear.
“Why should you have to pay for everything?”
“It’s my job.”
My heart started beating at his somewhat old-fashioned view. “You’re serious?”
“Completely.”
It was preposterous that he wanted to pay for everything. The amount of interest I accrued from my investments in one month was more than Jackson made in an entire year.
“Can we talk about this later?”
“We can, but the outcome isn’t going to change.”
“We’re married now. My money is your money.”
“I don’t want your fucking money, Emily. I’ll never touch your money.”
I felt a weird lump in my throat. I almost couldn’t speak. It was the stupidest argument in the world, considering how much money I had, but it still made me want to cry.
Almost every friendship and every relationship in my life was built on the fact that I had so much. That he didn’t want any of it, made me want to cry. No one had ever said that to me before. It also made me want to share all of it with him. For the first time, I was in a relationship without my money. It felt so glorious and free, and it made me love him that much more. I looked down at him, unable to speak. He lifted his eyes up at me.
“Well, I didn’t know that. When I bought this furniture.”
His eyes narrowed. Thinking. “How much exactly did you spend?”
“Well, I think maybe we can implement your new policy starting today, or you can start unscrewing this furniture and put it back in the box.”
His eyebrows went up. “You spent that much?”
I winced. “I didn’t think about it.”
I hadn’t. I had never been on a budget in my entire life. I wasn’t a spendthrift, but I had always had more than enough for whatever I bought. It never dawned on me to limit myself. If I liked something, I bought it. And I had really liked this crib set.
He looked around the room. “Shit.”
The guy was contemplating sending it all back.
“Please. I like this furniture, and by the time you send this back, and the new stuff comes, you might be gone. And who will put it together?”
He gave me a derisive look. “You’re not going to tell me how much you spent, are you?”
“You might begrudge Alien if I do.”
He shook his head, a smile on his face. “Fine. But going forward, I pay for shit.”
I looked down at him. He didn’t love me. He loved another woman. But he was committed to us. Alien and me. Enough to share his earnings. Enough to create a home for us. Enough to spend his time walking Chloe and building baby furniture. His commitment was unwavering.
I walked over to him, leaned down in front of him and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Thank you.”
A big arm came around me and then he hauled me onto his lap. Two hands pushed my hair back as green eyes studied my face.
“What?” I asked, staring up into his face.
“Let’s have a fun day today.”
Chapter 35
The truck flew down the highway with Jackson’s music blasting.
“Are you going to tell me where we are going?” I looked over at Jackson. He was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses.
“Nope.”
“Not even a hint?”
He glanced over at me, a smile on his face. “Not even a hint.”
“Am I going to like it?”
He looked thoughtful. “You’ll love it.”
I smiled, happy that we would spend the day together. My happiness faded when he pulled into a large parking lot of an airstrip, and I read the sign on the building, “Jump School.”
“What is this place?”My heart beat hard.
“We may or may not be going parachuting.” He gave me a wicked smile as he killed the engine.
Fear seized my throat so hard, I almost couldn’t speak. “No.”
“Come on,” he opened his door. “It’s going to be fun.”
I got out of the truck and caught up to him. “I can’t do this.”
He took my hand. “Sure you can.”
“No, I really can’t.”
There was a long list of things that terrified me, but heights almost topped the list. I couldn't stand on a chair without my knees knocking. Don’t even get me started on ladders.
We walked into the building.
“Wait here.”
I watched with nauseating anxiety as he handed some papers to one of the men. The guy nodded and then Jackson walked back towards me.
“Jackson,” my voice pleaded. “I really can’t do this.”
“Relax,” he said with an easy smile. “You’re going to be strapped to me.”
I stood there for a long moment and debated refusing. I looked up at Jackson. He looked so happy, so carefree. How would it feel to resist, to have to wipe that smile off his face, to walk back like a coward to the truck? Things between us were already so tentative. He had planned this. This was his idea of a fun day. I didn’t want to disappoint him. Maybe I could just shut my eyes and somehow get through this.
He stepped forward and cupped my face in his hands. “Do you trust me?”
I nodded, unable to speak, my throat was so dry.
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I just trust you that we’ll be okay.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized that was true. I trusted this man with my life. I may hate every single moment of this experience, but I knew that throughout it, he'd keep me safe.
His smile was huge. “Come on, let’s get out of here. You don’t want to do this.”
The idea of parachuting made me want to pass out but I didn’t want to take that carefree smile off his face. “No. We can do this.”
“You know you’d have to jump out of a plane.”
God help me. “I can do it.”
“You’re cute. Come on. Let’s go for a drive.”
Suddenly I needed to do this. For him. “Jackson, we’re doing this.”
He looked momentarily conflicted. “Really?”
“Really. I want to do this.”
He frowned as if he was weighing the situation in his mind. “Yeah. Okay. Hang on.”
I watched him talk to another guy and then he motioned for me to follow him to another room. He fitted me with a small jumpsuit and a strange harness that went around both my legs and over my shoulders. He also gave me some goggles. I watched as he looked over his gear and then strapped it on. The man he had been talking to came into the room and did a double check of all our harnesses and straps.
Jackson took my hand and led me out to a tiny airstrip. I wanted to pee my pants as I watched the small plane taxi towards us.
Jackson looked over at me. “Last chance to back out.”
I was tempted, but I didn’t want to disappoint him. I shook my head. Jackson held my hand as I climbed up the little ladder into the plane.
Then we took off. The plane was noisy. Jackson and the guy joked and laughed together, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying over the roar of
the engine. For a moment I thought I was going to puke, but somehow I managed not to. The earth below us looked like patches of green, and the horizon seemed huge. Dear God, we were high up. Now we were above the freaking clouds. I thought I was going to hyperventilate every time I thought about jumping out of this plane.
Jackson moved behind me. His legs were on either side of me. My eyes squeezed shut as I felt him tug on my straps. He strapped himself to me. Now when he moved back, I was pulled back. The guy moved beside us and double checked all our straps again.
The guy looked at me and yelled over the wind tunnel. “Keep your arms crossed over your chest.”
I nodded in fear, and then he put my goggles up on my face. Jackson tightened the strap around my head. And then, to my complete horror, the guy opened the door of the plane.
The wind gusted in, catching my breath. It didn’t matter. In a moment I would be dead from a heart attack.
Jackson wrapped his huge arms around me. His face nuzzled my neck. “You ready?”
I shook my head no. He laughed. And then he lifted me up. On our bums, we scooted precariously close to the door. Oh my god. We were about to leap out of a plane. My legs hung out the door, and Jackson held onto the bar above our heads. His legs hung out over the plane on either side of mine. I felt him tilt my head back, so it rested against his shoulder. He reached across me and made sure my arms were crossed over my chest.
“Ready?” I heard him yell.
“No,” I screamed. “We’re going to die.”
He tilted forward, and we were falling.
Oh, my God. We tumbled head over heels. It felt like a rollercoaster dive that didn’t end. And then we stabilized. I was on my stomach and Jackson was on my back. I felt him take my hands and part them, so I was spread eagle. Like a frog. The wind flapped my face. The world looked so beautiful below. Despite the fact that we plunged towards death, it was also surreal and calm at the same time. It seemed like time slowed down for us. And at that moment, my trust of Jackson was absolute.
I heard a flap, and then we flipped to an upright sitting position. I looked above my head as the huge parachute opened above our heads. We instantly slowed down.
“Oh, my God,” I yelled with excitement.
Jackson laughed from behind me. “Hang on. This is where it gets fun.”
He pulled the straps, and we swooped in massive big glides from side to side. I hung there in amazement as the world below us got bigger and bigger.
“Legs forward,” he said. I shot my legs up, and then he landed at a run. He gently lowered me to the ground, and I landed back on Jackson.
His arms wrapped around me. I lay there in a daze, the only thing I could do was laugh.
“You did it.”
“I loved it. I just jumped out of a plane,” I giggled uncontrollably. Adrenaline pumped through my body like a drug.
“Yes, you did.”
He propped me on to my shaking legs. I couldn’t do anything but stand there and tremble while Jackson worked to unhook us. He turned me to face him.
“I’m so proud of you.”
I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. “That was so unreal.”
He worked to take off my harness, but a smile played on his lips. Then he gathered up the chute and together we walked back to the hanger.
“How was it?” The guy who took our gear from us asked.
“Thank you so much. I loved it.”
He and Jackson shook hands.
“Nice seeing you, man.”
We walked back towards the truck. He opened the passenger door for me and gave me a hard kiss. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
He brushed some hair off my face. “For trusting me.”
“I thought we were going to die.”
“I know you did. But you still did it anyway.”
He lifted me up on the seat. I felt inordinately proud of myself.
Later at the fish and chip stand, I looked at Jackson. “I can’t believe I did that.”
He started to laugh. “Neither can I.”
“What do you mean?”
He looked at me for a long moment and then said. “I wasn’t going to take you jumping.”
“What?”
“I was just teasing you. I had to drop off some papers.”
I stared at him dumbfounded. “So that wasn’t our fun day?”
“No. I was just messing with you. But then you were so damn trusting, and I thought what the hell.”
“Jackson!”
“I honestly can’t believe you did that.”
I shook my head, a huge smile on my face. “You're in so much trouble.”
“But you did it.”
“Yeah. I guess I did.”
We grinned at each other.
“It blows my mind that they just let people walk off the street and jump out of their planes.”
He shrugged. “You were a special deal. You got to miss the 8 hours of classes.”
“What?”
“Normally, jumpers have to go to jump school.”
“But why would they do that?”
“They know me.”
“I took Alien skydiving before he was even born.”
He looked amused.
I stared at him across the picnic table. “Do you consider yourself an adrenaline junkie?”
“No, not really.”
“Do you ever get scared?”
He took a sip of his beer. “Of what?”
I shrugged. “On the job. Does anything ever scare you?”
“We control our emotions.”
I tried again. “Maybe you control your fear, but do you ever feel it?”
His smile was easy. “What scares you?”
“Everything.”
“Everything?”
I rested my chin on my hands. “Meeting new people, job interviews, going on dates.”
“Going on dates?”
I lifted my chin. “Yes. I used to date before I met Matt.”
This caught his attention. “Tell me.”
“I was a disaster dater.”
“I doubt that very much. Tell me your worst date.”
“You tell me yours.”
“You first.”
I thought for a moment. “This guy came into our gallery a lot. He seemed like a charming gentleman, so I was pleased when he asked me out. He took me to an art show and held my hand, and he even gave me this beautiful kiss. We went for dinner. Suddenly he looks up, and his face falls.”
“Uh-oh.”
“It was his girlfriend. She walked in with some friends. She was clueless when she came over. She kissed him, and he told her that I was a client. Then he invited her and her friends to join us.”
“No way. Did you bust him?”
I shook my head. “I was so mortified, for both her and myself, I couldn’t. After five minutes, I excused myself to go to the washroom and instead walked out of the restaurant.”
Sympathetic eyes looked at me. “What a dick.”
“That scared me off men for a while. What about you?”
He squinted. “Worst first date?”
“Yeah.”
He grinned. “It’s bad.”
“Do tell.”
“I met her at a bar, and she was hot. So I phoned her and asked her out. Usually, I pick my dates up at their place, but she insisted on meeting me at a bar. Well, when I walked into the bar she was already loaded. Then she picked a fight with the biggest guy in the bar by throwing a drink at him, and when he was understandably pissed, she told him that her boyfriend would hurt him. It took me a few moments to realize she was talking about me. I didn’t want to fight him, so I ended up spending way too much money settling his tab. The date was over before it started. I drove her home, and she puked into her purse. When we pulled up at her house, daddy was waiting for her on the porch.”
“No!”
“She was 15, but I swear she looked like she was at least 22.”
&n
bsp; “Jackson!” I started laughing.
“Her dad was resigned. He knew exactly what his daughter was like.”
“Oh, my God.”
“Do you understand why Alien needs to be a boy?”
Jackson’s phone rang.
Chapter 36
“Hello.”
I watched as Jackson’s face froze while he listened to whomever was talking on the other end.
“Are you for real?”
“Jesus.”
He hung up and looked at me. His eyes looked anguished.
“Jackson, what is it?”
“Chris is dead. He was killed in a motorcycle accident.”
“What?!”
“We have to go.”
The drive back to the base was silent. I looked over at Jackson a million times, but he was a stone man. Completely blank.
“I’m so sorry, Jackson.”
It was like he didn’t even hear me.
He pulled up to our house and looked over at me. “I have to go see Chris’ wife.”
I nodded and got out of the truck.
I was in shock. I went into the house, and Jackson drove off. Ten minutes later, Lauren called me.
“Did you hear?”
“Yes. I can’t believe it.”
She was crying. “Chris has a wife and a toddler.”
“Oh, my God.”
“I guess he went for a motorcycle ride this morning. A drunk driver hit him.”
Tears rolled down my face. “Jackson went over there.”
“Yeah, all Chris’ unit will go over and do whatever they can to help.”
“Lauren, what should I do?”
She sniffed. “Be there for Jackson.”
I spent the rest of the day cleaning, mostly because I had no idea what else to do, and I needed to keep busy. I didn’t hear from Jackson.
I waited until I couldn’t keep my eyes open and then I climbed into bed.
I woke up to the slam of a vehicle door and then a car driving off. The front door slammed open. I listened to Jackson moving around downstairs. Pulling a robe on, I crept down the stairs. He sat on the couch. There was a half-empty bottle of Jim Bean between his legs. He lifted his head and looked at me. His expression was one of defiance and frustration. My husband was extremely angry.
