“Huh, I guess I’m nineteen now,” I commented, looking at the date on my new ID. “Do I look old enough to pass for nineteen?” I asked seriously.
“I think you do,” Ava agreed. “They aged me down a year to nineteen as well, probably because I look so young. And it makes more sense for us to be the same age if we’re pretending to have just gotten married.”
“Married?!” I exclaimed in disbelief.
“Jeez Jake, you’re hurting my feelings,” she scoffed playfully.
“T-That’s not the point,” I retorted. “I’m too…” My voice trailed off as I focused on the files again.
“Too young?” she guessed.
“Well yeah,” I admitted. “I mean, I know I’m pretending to be nineteen, but I’ve just never seriously thought about marriage before.”
“I want to pretend to be married!” Blair pouted.
We both ignored her as Ava continued. “It’s not much different than having a girlfriend, Jake. Really it’s about the same, except you’re supposed to be more serious. More committed.”
Zayden scoffed. “You sound like you’ve had experience being married,” he retorted.
Ava made a face. “Well, no. But I mean, it’s not difficult to imagine. It’s not like something magical happens when you legally become married. You’re basically just signing a piece of paper saying you’re together.”
“But…” I began, my voice trailing off a second time.
“But what?” she wondered.
“I mean, how do I ‘act’ like we’re married?”
“Jake, it’s not any different than having a girlfriend. People don’t act differently when they’re married. If anything, they just act normal, maybe showing even less affection in public than people who are dating, since they spend time doing that kind of stuff in private.”
I started feeling warm again and had to look away. At least now I knew embarrassment was one emotion I was perceiving as a form of warmth.
“Look,” she continued. “It won’t be difficult. When we get there, I’ll just hold onto your arm as we walk in – probably every couple, married or not, will be doing something similar – and once we are inside, we can just act normal. The rings will usually be enough for people to believe we’re married.”
“Rings?” I repeated, glancing at her again. Sure enough, she was holding a simple gold ring.
“It’s not real gold, but it looks real enough,” she said, slipping it onto her finger to illustrate.
I fumbled through my papers to find a gold ring in a small plastic baggy taped to the bottom of one of the pages. I just stared at it, not motioning to take it out and try it on. “How do they even know our ring sizes?” I wondered.
“The first day when those two soldiers took your measurements in the gym,” she said simply. “They weren’t only trying to figure out how much weight you could lift. They were also gathering the information they needed for the size of your clothing, and the rare stuff like this.”
“Then why do we need to go shopping?” I wondered.
Ava rolled her eyes then. “Because they don’t have that type of clothing on hand, and while they could theoretically order stuff for us, it’s just easier to have us try it on. Military sizing is standard, whereas civilian sizes can vary by clothing brand quite a bit. When I was younger, I once tried on a junior’s size three dress that fit perfectly, and then struggled to get into a size five of a different brand.”
Blair’s eyes were wide like she was mentally taking notes of everything Ava was sharing. Zayden was thoroughly checked out, shoveling food in his face.
I sighed, leaning back in my seat as I stared at the gold ring. I knew it was just a piece of jewelry but putting it on my ring finger seemed like a huge deal. I was certain I’d feel as if I had a massive chunk of metal on my finger that garnered everyone’s attention, like there was a sign floating above my head saying, ‘look at this ring.’
“You alright, Jake?” Ava wondered. “Need me to put it on for you?” she added playfully.
I gawked at her, before shaking my head while grabbing the small bag to slip it on. Sure enough, while it didn’t weigh anything to me, it felt like I had a neon sign over my head telling everyone to look.
“When was the last time you noticed someone’s ring?” Ava wondered.
My brow furrowed. “Never?” I answered hesitantly.
“Exactly,” she replied. “So stop stressing about it.”
“R-Right.” I focused on the paperwork then, attempting to ignore the gold band on my finger. It didn’t get any better though, especially knowing that Ava had a gold ring on her finger too. Everyone had finished eating and we were all quietly reading over the files now, but I was feeling hotter and hotter by the second.
This shouldn’t be that big of a deal. I knew I was being stupid for making it a big deal, but I couldn’t stop focusing on it. I finally got up to excuse myself for a moment, leaving my paperwork behind. I just needed a moment away from Ava’s warmth, so I could collect myself.
I ended up running to the other side of the base, only to take my time walking back slowly. I could imagine that Zayden was saying something rude while I was gone about freaking out over nothing, while Ava was probably telling him to shut up as usual.
Or maybe I was wrong. Maybe they were just focused on their own roles, and weren’t worried about me at all.
It was easy to believe I was the center of everyone else’s world, but to them, I was just a side-character in the theatrical play that was their own lives. The fact that no one chased after me was proof of that…not that I wanted anyone to, but still…
Really, I knew that was the problem. I was letting my head get too big, thinking that I was important to everyone and that people cared about what was going on in my life. But the truth was just as Ava said – I never noticed anyone else’s rings, nor did I care what was happening in their lives. It would be much the same in reverse. Strangers didn’t care about me, or that I had just supposedly gotten married recently. It was just a backstory to tell people if they asked, but even if they did make an inquiry, their interest would only be superficial. They would be more interested in sharing what was going on in their own lives, rather than learning all the details of someone else’s.
By the time I made it back, I had collected myself and was able to focus on the documents finally. Sitting next to Ava was less stressful as well, after my initial overreaction of feeling like this was more than pretend, as if I had stumbled into a serious relationship with her without realizing it. Rather, we were just comrades, working together to infiltrate the enemy’s territory. Just partners working together for a common cause.
It didn’t get awkward again until Robert took us shopping.
It was a smaller store, but it specialized in formal attire for both men and women. I came out of the changing room feeling a little awkward in what was about to be my new tux, only for all my thoughts to scatter when Ava came out in a red silk dress. It hugged her tan body perfectly.
I just gawked at her like an idiot.
“Wow, Jake,” she giggled. “That look on your face is probably the best compliment I’ve ever gotten.”
I attempted to collect myself, clearing my throat. “Sorry…it looks nice…”
She twisted around to look at herself in the mirror again, prompting me to avert my eyes when I saw just how well it hugged her butt too.
“Yep, I think this is the one,” Ava continued, spinning back around. “Now I just need to get a comfortable pair of flats. I’ve never really gotten used to heels before, and this isn’t the time to start practicing.”
“R-Right,” I agreed lamely, still averting my eyes.
“You look good too, Jake,” she added. “We should get you a red tie, so you match me."
I only nodded in response, realizing she must have thought I was feeling subconscious about the suit, but that wasn’t it at all. I wasn’t sure how I was going to stay level-headed with her hanging on my arm al
l night wearing that. I just had to focus on why we were there. Surely, the seriousness of the situation would sink in once we arrived.
After we finished our shopping, with Ava getting to pick out some expensive-looking gold jewelry to fit the part, Robert drove us to a discrete garage downtown where he handed Ava the keys to a simple black car with heavily tinted windows that we were meant to take to the wedding reception. I felt like the vehicle was a lot nicer than someone our age would usually own, but I supposed that was the point – this wasn’t just some random party. The marrying couple were both from wealthy families, which meant a lot of high-class people would be there.
Apparently, the license plate was even registered to the fake names we were using, which I found extremely odd. These identities were so real at this point that I began to wonder if we were standing in for actual people who had recently died. Granted, I doubted that was really the case, since that little fact would blow our cover, but I couldn’t help wondering.
Before long, it was just Ava and myself, dressed up in our formal attire heading to this wedding reception as newlyweds. Despite the fact that I had my driver’s license prior to getting involved with the military, it was made pretty clear that Robert intended for Ava to do all the driving. Besides him handing her the keys, he also opened the driver’s door for her, allowing her to hike up her dress to climb in comfortably. The thick silk draped all the way down to her ankles, losing its snug fit just past her hips.
While staring out the window, I fidgeted with the gold ring on my finger most of the way.
I was still really nervous.
My first experience on the battlefield hadn’t been so bad because I’d been focused on Trinity the whole time. Not to mention, it felt safe being surrounded by the team and regular soldiers. Considering it now, I didn’t think the seriousness of the situation ever really hit me, my mind just accepting everything as it was, instead of freaking out. If anything, so much happened so quickly that accepting it was about all I could do. I didn’t have time to fully process what was occurring around me.
And right now, I wasn’t really worried about either of us getting hurt. Instead, I was worried about failing because I sucked at acting.
Ava shifted her weight next to me, prompting me to glance towards her legs, only to immediately look away again, clenching my fists tightly in my lap. The outlines of her toned stomach were visible through the red silk. Unlike Trinity, Ava didn’t really have a six-pack without flexing, which honestly was pretty normal – most people who had them couldn’t show them off without flexing – but the natural curvature and indents of Ava’s stomach were still very defined when relaxed.
And for some reason, I was highly enticed by the color red.
It made me…hungry…
Which I supposed made sense, even if the hunger was more arousal instead of a desire to feed.
I clenched my fists tighter and took a deep breath, my gaze focused on the passing buildings. We were driving on the interstate, currently passing through the middle of another city. I knew we weren’t close yet – we still had another two hours of driving at least.
Ava finally broke the lengthy silence. “Are you alright?” she whispered.
I took another deep breath, refusing to look at her. My tone didn’t match my tension, sounding apathetic and calm. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I reassured her.
She wasn’t convinced. “Jake, you’re my partner on this mission. We need to fully be on the same page. If something’s bothering you, I need to know.”
I really didn’t want to tell her, because it was sort of pathetic in my opinion. I was getting all worked up over nothing. But it really wasn’t ‘nothing.’ I was confident in my physical abilities now, but I had zero confidence when it came to something like this. And I had zero experience being married or pretending to be married. The whole idea felt like an alien world to me, and I wasn’t sure I could pull it off despite Ava’s reassurance that it wasn’t any different than dating.
So I just shrugged and kept my mouth shut.
Because it was stupid, and I felt the weight of my own stupidity.
“Is it because of our cover story?” she asked quietly just after I returned to fidgeting with the gold ring. When I didn’t respond, she spoke up again. “Look, how about we take a different approach? You’ve gone to a school dance, right?”
I finally met her gaze. “Well, once. But yeah.”
“Then just pretend this is a date like that. Pretend you’re taking me to prom, instead of us being married. Doubtful anyone will ask anyway, and if they do, then I’ll make the reference to you being my husband. But as far as you’re concerned, just look at it from the prom angle.”
I thought about that for a moment.
Ava laughed then, garnering my attention. “Would you take me to prom, Jake?” she asked with a grin.
Despite myself, her infectious cheer forced a smile out of me. I decided to tease her back. “Well, I did put a ring on your finger – I suppose it’s the least I could do.”
She laughed again, a genuine unrestrained chuckle.
It was…really adorable, if I was being honest. And her sudden lightheartedness gave me an unexpected flashback to the previous day – the sharp contrast of her crying against my chest in the hospital at the idea of being able to leave everything behind for a short while.
I felt my muscles tense. “You know what?” I began abruptly. “Let’s both do that. Pretend this is prom.” She met my gaze briefly before returning her focus to the road as I continued. “It’s not like we’ll be able to sneak off right away anyway, so let’s just do that. I’m taking you to prom, and although I really suck at dancing, I’ll make sure we get at least one dance in together. Probably a slow dance so I don’t look like a complete idiot.”
She laughed quietly again, I assumed at the idea of me showing off my nonexistent moves. “Okay,” she agreed. “I’ve been to dances before, but I missed out on my senior prom, so that sounds great.”
“Good,” I agreed.
She smiled widely again. “Although, let’s be honest here. Obviously, I’m the one taking you to prom.” She giggled when I rolled my eyes. “Too much for you, Jake? Having a woman lead you around?”
I scoffed, shifting my gaze to the window. “I like older women, thank you,” I retorted without thinking. “Every girl I’ve been interested in or dated has been older – Trinity’s the exception.” When she didn’t respond right away, I continued. “Although, I do feel like it lessens the effect of ‘me taking you to prom’ with you driving.”
Ava cleared her throat, her voice sounding a little strained. “Yeah, well, we should just go with me taking you to prom anyway. I am technically the leader while it’s just the two of us. Anything that happens, good or bad, is going to be on my head.”
“Right,” I agreed, still looking out the window. “I know to follow your lead. I’m just saying that I wish I could do that for you – give you an evening where you didn’t have to worry about all that stuff.”
She didn’t respond right away, prompting me to glance at her. A small smile was just barely touching her lips. She glanced my way when she saw me turn my head. “Well, thanks for the sentiment,” she mused, “but if this was really prom, then I’d probably be taking the lead anyway.”
“Oh really?” I asked, grinning at her playful tone.
“Yep,” she replied, bobbing her head once. “For one, you just admitted to not being able to dance, which means I’d have to do all the work for anything beyond slow dancing. And two, that’s the role I’m used to playing anyway. Besides being the oldest in my family, my last boyfriend – when I was your age actually – was two years younger and couldn’t drive yet.” She laughed. “So I was the one secretly picking him up for dates.” She laughed again.
I was about to ask ‘Why secretly?’ but then abruptly shut my mouth. I suspected the reason why, considering she had disclosed that she had witnessed a previous boyfriend die. Honestly, I was a little sur
prised she would risk something like that happening again, but I didn’t know the full story, and I definitely didn’t want to bring up the negative aspects of her past right now. Especially not when she seemed in such a good mood at the moment teasing me.
“Something wrong?” she wondered.
I shook my head, trying to say something to avoid revealing my train of thoughts. “No, I’m fine. I was just thinking that it sounds like he was a lucky guy.” I then immediately glanced at her, wondering if saying that was a mistake – for all I knew, she might miss her last boyfriend, having the opposite effect I was aiming for.
I relaxed when I saw her smile.
“Wow, Jake. You’re full of compliments today.”
I sighed. “I’m just being honest.”
She giggled. “Well, those are the best kind. It would kind of suck if you were lying to make me feel better.”
“Right,” I agreed. “Good point.”
Her tone unexpectedly shifted. “Thanks,” she said sincerely. She almost sounded sad.
“For what?” I wondered.
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly through her slightly parted lips. “For everything. For being fun, for being trustworthy and sincere. You definitely suck at acting, but I like that about you – that you’re always authentic, never trying to be something you’re not. I feel like I can relax when you’re around.”
I tried not to scoff at that last part, feeling like it was the exact opposite with me, because even now I was not relaxed…but then I realized that wasn’t really true at all. I had only recently been tense ever since we found out about this particular mission, but she had done a lot to help me in the last few days, providing a warmth I didn’t fully understand whenever I felt cold from my depression and other negative emotions. And really, now that I thought about it, not only had she pulled me out of my emotionless state with her warmth, but she had even prevented it from happening several times now.
Feeling like I could relax near her was more accurate than I initially realized. It was easy being in her presence. Because she cared, and more than that, she seemed to feel for me, like she truly got it. Honestly, while I could effortlessly pick her up and carry her around in my arms without tiring, it felt like it was the reverse emotionally. It felt like she had picked me up in her arms several times now, and carried me tirelessly when I was deteriorating from within, selflessly providing me with her presence and attention when I desperately needed it.
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