"Shit!" Vlad curses, looking decades older than his actual age. If I didn't know what he looked like... I could have sworn that no child could do something like this.
Vlad's hand tightens on the knife, and his features stretch over his face in anger. I blink. In no time he's on top of the already dead man, swinging his knife in and out. I take a step back.
He's stabbing and stabbing, blood spattered on his face.
"Vlad!" I call out, but he doesn't answer, digging deeper into the man's flesh.
"Vlad!" I yell, and somehow he snaps out of it. He stands up, throws the knife on the ground and looks at me as if dazed.
There's blood on his face. He lifts his hand, and with one finger he swipes some red liquid and brings it to his mouth, sucking.
My eyes widen at this display.
He's not normal... he can't be normal.
The door opens, and father and the Pakhan come in. They take in the scene before them, and they immediately zero in on Vlad.
"Misha, take your brother out." The Pakhan orders, and a teenage boy comes in to drag Vlad away. Before he can grab him, however, Vlad leans in and whispers something in Misha's ear that has him blench.
Vlad lets himself out, and I'm left with father, and his obvious disappointment.
"What did I tell you, boy?" His eyes blaze with fury.
"I don't want to kill anyone." I say, my voice full of false confidence.
"You don't want to kill anyone?" He asks me, narrowing his eyes. He then opens the door, taking one guard by the collar and making him kneel inside the room.
"You didn't want to kill someone who clearly wronged us. Let's see how you feel about someone who is innocent." He kicks the guard to the floor. He drags me by the hand until I'm in front of the guard, and places a gun in my hand.
"Kill him!" He commands. "Don't embarrass me!" He hisses before closing my fingers over the gun and pointing it towards the guard.
"Kill!" He yells in my ear, but all I can do is shake my head.
I don't want this. I never wanted this.
"Kill, or else, your mother might not sleep well tonight, nor will that thing inside of her." He says, and I can feel my skin crawl. Mother is eight-months pregnant. Surely he wouldn't... he wouldn't kill his own child.
But then I look at him. He would... he would kill anyone.
He still senses my hesitation, so he continues to describe in great detail what he will do to her.
"And when her stomach is wide open, I'll take that thing out..." I can't hear this anymore.
I squeeze my eyes shut and press the trigger. I'm jerked back by the pistol firing, and I see the bullet hit the target.
More blood.
The floor is becoming soaked in red.
"I knew you had it in you, boy."
Do I?
It seems I do...
MOTHER IS IN LABOR. It's been a few hours since she started, and I can hear her screams now and then. I don't know what's happening, but father didn't want to send her to a hospital. Instead, he brought a doctor to care for her at home. I don't know how much he's doing for her, though, because she doesn't seem fine to me.
I'm worried. Not because of mother, since at this point I couldn't care less if anything happened to her, considering how much of a presence she's had in my life. No, I'm worried for my sibling. I'm worried something will happen to him or her... I hope it's a boy. A girl could never survive in this house, not under father's thumb.
I'm attentively listening for any noises when a screech invertebrates through the house. I open the door to my room and dash towards the first floor where mother is resting. The door is closed. I don't go in. Rather, I move closer to the door and I press my ear to it, straining to hear what's happening.
"Push!" Someone says, and mother curses at him.
There're more noises before I hear a wailing sound. The sound of a newborn.
I'm still plastered to the door when I see father come. He scowls at me, but says nothing as he opens the door and heads inside. I follow.
"It's a girl, signor." The doctor turns to face father.
"Useless." I hear him mutter under his breath, and my fists clench at my side. Poor babe...
"It's the devil's mark! Take it away from me!" Mother pushes away at the bundle of cloth sitting on her chest.
"It's cursed! It's the devil!" She yells, and against my better judgement, I step forward and take the baby in my arms.
Father is still in the room, sporting a bored expression, but I can see he's assessing my next move.
I look down and see the sweetest face. She's a little red and dirty, but as she opens her eyes to look at me, I feel something tugging at my heart.
I didn't even know I had one.
It's the first time I've felt this... I can't even name it.
My fingers tighten around her small body, wanting to offer her protection, love... Love?
I almost laugh at the thought. I've never loved anyone, and no one's ever loved me. Do I even know what that is?
But as I look into her deep eyes, I think I understand.
She has a big deep red mark that starts just above her eye and extends into her forehead. This is what mother must have meant when she'd said it was the devil's mark.
But... I suddenly realize.
I look up at mother and see she's holding tightly onto her rosary, saying a prayer—an exorcism most likely. And then father, he just looks at me as if he expects me to slip.
My eyes move once more over the innocent life in my arms, and I realize what I need to do.
I can't let her live through what I did... I know exactly what will come, the abuse she will have to bear at mother's hands, especially because of her birthmark. And father... I don't even want to think of what he could do to her.
I can withstand everything he dishes my way, but if he did that to someone I cared about... to my little sister? And he would.
"She's cursed." I say, repeating mother's words. It takes everything in me to do this, but she's better off without this family.
"She has the mark of the devil. Mother was correct. We should send her away."
"Is that so, boy?" Father leans into the wall, taking a cigarette from his case and lighting it.
"We should send her to a holy place, so they can take out the bad from her." I lift my head and look him dead in the eyes.
"She'll bring us bad luck if she stays." I continue, and mother turns to me, agreeing wholeheartedly.
"Yes! Take her away. The devil... it's the devil trying to tempt us. She's going to bring only bad luck." She cries hysterically.
Father shrugs. "Do what you want. She's not a boy." He throws his cigarette butt on the ground and stubs it with his shoe before turning and leaving.
There are a few maids in the room, and I also spot Amelia. I go to her.
"Where can we send her? Somewhere she'll be taken care of?"
"I... I..." She stammers, "There's a convent. The famiglia has connections there."
"Take her. Take her there." I hand over the baby to her, trying not to look again, knowing that the more I hold her the harder it's going to be to let go.
"Ok." She nods. "But... What about her name?"
"Let the nuns name her." I say and turn my back, leaving the room.
Because if I named her... If I let myself care...
I don't think I could survive.
Chapter Eleven
"THERE YOU GO!" I HELP Claudia out of the car. We'd spent all day shopping since we don't have a lot of things. After the meeting with Marcello, we'd decided to officiate the marriage in three days. That meant that I had three days to get ready for my future. A shiver goes down my body at the thought. Marcello was not who I'd expected him to be. Sure, he's good-looking and handsome and I did dream about kissing him but... It's probably never going to happen, and I will respect his boundaries. There was this sadness that clung to him. I can't put my finger on it, I felt like he'd been holding himself back. From what, I do
n't know. I'm trying not to read too much into it, especially given my slight crush on him.
I'd explained the circumstances to Claudia to the best of my ability, and she'd seemed understanding. At least, I think so. She's been very excited about being outside Sacre Coeur for the first time. And given her sheltered upbringing, I don't know how much she understands about marriage and what it entails. When we'd spoken about the terms of the marriage, I'd asked Marcello to bring in a therapist for Claudia. I don't want what happened with Father Guerra to scar her in the future. And she might benefit from it when adjusting to this new lifestyle too.
We head inside the house, but the moment we step in, I hear a noise. It sounds like a scream... A female screaming.
"Claudia. Go to your room! Now!" She looks at me wide eyed, but does as she's told, running up the stairs.
I take the first thing I see, a lamp, and head towards the source of the noise. What could it be, though? There are so many guards around... When I enter the drawing room, I stop in my tracks, my eyes going wide with shock, my mouth hanging open. That can't be what I'm seeing, can it?
Allegra, my brother's wife, Allegra is naked on her knees. A man is mounting her from behind, pumping his hips in and out of her. There's another man in front of her, and she's putting his member in her mouth, sucking on it. I gasp. What is she doing?
The men grunt, and Allegra moans in a high-pitched voice. She keeps sucking the man, and her eyes wander towards me. She doesn't seem in the least surprised to see me there. In fact, she winks at me. What? The man behind her steps away, and another man, one I hadn't noticed before, replaces him. What is this? This... depravity? This can't be normal.
"There she is, my sister-in-law." She drawls, and everyone's gaze focuses on me. "Join us, will you?" She says, and I instinctively take two steps back, before running up to my room.
How can Enzo allow that in his house? Does he even know? Lord, his son lives here, and he's only five!
As I enter my room, I try to put on a smile, and pretend nothing happened. Claudia doesn't seem to notice how rattled I am. Instead, she's excited about her new dresses that we'd bought, and she tries them on. I attempt to put the scene I'd witnessed out of my mind and focus on my daughter. But Lord, is that what people do in the outside world? I know I'm not very knowledgeable in these things, but surely that's not normal.
It's much later that I find Enzo in his study, immersed in a book. I softly knock and he lifts his head, a smile playing on his lips.
"Lina."
"Enzo... can I talk to you about something?"
"Of course, piccola. What is it?"
"When did you get home?" I start, and he regards me strangely.
"Not too long ago." He looks at his watch. "Maybe half an hour ago, why?"
"I... I don't know how to say this but... I came across your wife today."
"Allegra?" He frowns. "Here?" He seems surprised.
"Yes. She... she was cheating on you." I blurt out. Enzo's expression doesn't change.
"Here?" I nod.
"Damn, I told her to keep it out!" He curses under his breath. He knew?
"You... you know about it?"
"It doesn't matter," he says. "Our marriage isn't a normal one. She's... we're not together." He shakes his head briefly, as if annoyed.
"Who was it this time? Was it one of the guards?" He asks as if this is a common occurrence.
"I don't know," I answer honestly. "But it wasn't just one." I'm almost embarrassed as I say this. Enzo just raises an eyebrow.
"She was with three men... in the living room."
"Fuck! I told her to keep that shit out of my house." He stands out, clearly pissed. "Damn! Claudia or Lucca could have seen her." He smashes his fist on the desk and I keep myself still, though the urge to flinch is there.
"That's what I was worried about too. Luckily only I saw her, but even for my eyes it was..." I trail off.
"Oh, Lina! Of course!" He comes and takes me into his arms. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I'll have words with her so she doesn't do it in here anymore."
"What happened, Enzo? You were so in love with each other." I whisper, the situation confounding me. I'd met Allegra before. She'd come with Enzo to visit me. She'd been the loveliest woman, and I could see how much they loved each other. It just makes little sense.
"Not everything is as it seems, Lina. I couldn't give her what she wanted..."
I shake my head. "It's not right."
"Don't worry about it, piccola." He strokes my hair. "One day, I'll tell you all about it."
"YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL, mamma" Claudia is resting her head on her hands as she looks at me.
"You think so?" I twirl around a little, examining the back of the gown.
We'd picked up this dress when we'd gone shopping. I somehow didn't want to pass up the opportunity of wearing a white dress at my wedding, considering it might be the only one I'll ever have.
The dress is a creamy white with a high neck and short sleeves. The hem reaches my calves. It's not very skintight, but it molds nicely to my body. The sales assistant had suggested I tried some shorter dresses, and some that emphasized my cleavage too much. Yeah, they hadn't looked bad, but I'd been so uncomfortable in them, feeling extremely self-conscious about myself. It must be that I've gotten so used to wearing church-acceptable clothing that I've lost the taste for anything on the more daring side.
I smile a little, pleasantly satisfied with my look.
An intruding thought tells me that maybe Marcello will like it too, but I quickly catch myself. It's better to nip this crush in the bud before it's too late. I mean, who knows, maybe he's actually an awful person.
I sigh.
I don't even know if that would be better or worse. Sure, it would be better because then I could dislike him... or at least not like him. But then it would be worse because we will actually live with him and his family. I sneak a glance at Claudia, and she's admiring her own dress in the mirror. I don't think she's ever worn anything as colorful as that. It's a nice dusty pink, with glitter on the sleeves. Regardless of the circumstances that brought us to this point... maybe it's for the better? Claudia can finally have a normal childhood, and I will make sure she's safe at all times. That makes me a little worried though... us moving to a foreign house, especially after the whole fiasco with Father Guerra.
I shake my head, trying to dispel those thoughts. It's worth it to dwell on that. Surely not everyone is like Father Guerra.
"Are you ready?" She jumps from the bed and nods at me. I take her hand and we leave the room. The ceremony is going to be officiated here, and after that we will leave for Marcello's house. I'd already packed all of our meager belongings.
As we go down the stairs, I can see Enzo deep in conversation with Marcello. There is a significant distance between the two, and it just reminds me of the fact that Marcello can't stand being touched.
It had seemed odd when he'd said that, but who am I to judge. Maybe he has his own demons to grapple with.
Like I know I have....
We are about halfway down the staircase when they both look up. Enzo smiles at us, while Marcello looks almost bored.
His eyes sweep over my body and I get the urge to cover myself up, but I breeze through it. His gaze then settles on Claudia, and his eyes widen for a second.
Claudia tugs her hand free and dashes towards the bottom.
"It's you!" She exclaims, pointing at Marcello.
For a second I'm worried that she's going to touch him, so I go after her. Wait, but how does she even know him?
"Hello, there," Marcello crouches down to be on eye level with her. The corner of his mouth slowly goes up, and I'm stunned. Marcello... He's smiling... at Claudia.
"How do you know each other?" Enzo asks, suspicion dripping from his voice.
"We met briefly. At Sacre Coeur." Marcello straightens himself and gives Claudia a tender look before his face is blank once again. He looks at me and nods. An awkward s
ilence ensues, as we both just look at each other.
"Well, then... the priest is in the drawing room. Let's get this done, shall we?" Enzo interrupts and motions us towards the drawing room.
The ceremony is brief, following which we both sign the marriage certificate. That's it...
It's official.
I turn my head ever so slightly to look at Marcello. There's at least a couple of feet of distance between us. I keep expecting his expression to change, to drop a hint of what he's feeling, like he'd done at the last meeting. But so far, I feel he's even more distant than before.
He has a few shushed words with Enzo, before turning to me.
"You're ready?"
"Yes..." I start, caught a little off guard. "Let me take my bag." I turn towards Claudia. "Go get your backpack."
She nods at me and runs to the room. I'm about to follow when Enzo stops me.
"I've had someone take your luggage to the car." He mentions and comes closer.
"It's all going to be all right, Lina." He tugs a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm sorry it had to be like this, but..." He shakes his head, his voice full of anguish.
"I'll be fine, Enzo. Don't worry about me." I give him a quick hug.
Marcello is standing in the doorway, watching our exchange. I feel a little self-conscious as I pass by him to meet Claudia by the stairs.
"Going?" She asks, and I hold out my hand out for her.
Marcello catches up with us, and we all go towards the car. He gets in the front seat, while me and Claudia get in the back.
There are a couple more cars that are driving ahead and behind us, and I'm guessing they are our protection. Marcello's house is not far, and so we find ourselves there before I've even had time to process everything. One look at Claudia, and I can tell she's just excited to see the new place.
And I'm... I don't know what I am.
We get out of the car and go inside the house. There is staff everywhere.
"Amelia, show Catalina and her daughter where their rooms are." Marcello addresses an older lady before turning left and leaving us there.
I frown.
That's it?
I'm still looking at the spot he's just vacated when Amelia motions for us to follow her.
Morally Blasphemous (Morally Questionable Book 2) Page 11
