by Jim Butcher
He punched the TV's on button and sat down. There was still The XFiles—the TV Guide said it was a repeat of the vampire episode, one of his favorites because in the end, the female gets her just desserts.
It was five seconds after the hour and he expected to hear the familiar whistling, see the opening credits ... but the President of the United States was on television, giving a speech about war and budgets! He grabbed up the TV Guide and stared hard at the listing—nothing about being preempted. And then he glanced at the date. This was last week's TV Guide! Morgana must have taken the new one to look for vampire movies and forgotten to toss the old one again! Deflated, he picked up the remote. Surely with so many channels on cable he could find something that would amuse him. But the buttons on the remote wouldn't work. Not the channels, not the volume.... He shook the thing. He tapped it against the edge of the coffee table. Nothing. His arm dropped in despair and the remote slipped from his grasp, hitting the floor. The door of the battery compartment fell off and a small but crucial-looking plastic piece jumped up in the air at an angle, like an insect, and bounced beneath his chair. There were no batteries inside the compartment! He had a flash of Celine announcing that the batteries to the little digital camera she always carries with her were dead and she didn't feel like going to the store.
"Great!" he said to the air, throwing up his hands. He got up and switched off the TV, too defeated to manually change channels. This was turning into a very bad night. And he knew who was to blame—those three bitches!
Well, they wouldn't get away with it! He'd hunt them down, drag them back here by their dyed roots and give them what-for!
He strode to the closet for his cape. It was gone! Damn! He'd told Morgana to pick it up from the dry cleaner! Would they never listen to him?
Capeless, he raced out of the house and headed to the Vampire Lounge. They would not get away with ruining another night of his cursed eternity!
He hurried past the chic restaurants and cafes. Most of the women and some of the men noticed him, of course. Even after half a millennium, and capeless, he still cut a dashing figure. While he waited for a light to change, a little goth chick with ebony and mahogany hair, all in black, wearing a leather corset over her tiny latex dress, arid sexy stiletto boots that wrapped around her spider-webbed thighs, stood next to him at the curb. He gave her "the eye," that hypnotic stare he'd been famous for even when he'd been a mortal centuries ago. She looked at him and giggled. "Cool hair!" she said, and stepped briskly across the street.
He followed her farther south, past the Humor
Museum—an oxymoron if he'd ever seen one. She turned into the doorway of the Vampire Lounge. He adjusted the pointed collar on his shirt—maybe the evening wouldn't be such a write-off after all!
The cretin at the doorway stopped him with the words, "Five bucks, man."
Istvan felt in his pocket. Damn! He'd left his wallet at home. Normally, he kept some spare cash in the hidden pocket of his cape. "Uh, I seem to be without funds."
"Yeah?" the tattooed goon said. "Well, bro, I guess that's where you'll stay—without!" And he turned his back.
Istvan could see through the large plate-glass window that the joint was jumping. The little gothette stood in the middle of the room, garnering appreciative glances here and there. Suddenly, she turned, saw him at the window looking in like a starving puppy and motioned for him to join her. It was all too inviting.
Istvan touched the bouncer on the shoulder. "You vill admit me!" he said.
Just then, a minivan pulled to the curb. A dozen black-clad kindergoths bussed in from the 'burbs began to disembark, wearing more chain mail and noir leather than Istvan had seen worn throughout the entire Middle Ages. While the muscle began collecting hard cash and stamping bats around the ripped-lace, fingerless gloves that covered hands, Istvan surreptitiously made his way inside.
Music that on the street had been loud bass became ear-splitting on the other side of the door. His acute hearing magnified each note ten times, and the pounding reminded him of a human heart beating beyond its capacity. In the pocket of his cape he kept a pair of earplugs for just such occasions as this, but without that cape. ... He really couldn't bear this, and turned to leave.
"Hey! What's your hurry?"
The warm gloved hand on his cold arm belonged to the goth chick, who was now standing close and smiling up at him. It had been so long since Istvan had experienced a welcoming and guileless smile from a female that he felt disconcerted.
"Come on," she said to him, and grabbed onto his arm, pulling him through the crowds and to the bar at the back of the room. En route he spotted the three bitches, each chatting up a morsel for later. They were all too busy with the business at hand to notice him, although he had no doubt they would be aware of his presence soon, just as he had been aware of theirs.
As they reached the back bar, the music dimmed a bit. Not enough for conversation, but at least the stabbing at his eardrums ceased.
The bar presented another problem. He had no cash, and mesmerizing the quick-moving bartender wouldn't be easy with so many thirsty pseudovampires crowding the brass rail. But as it turned out the girl said, "What are you having, Mr. Nosferatu? My treat."
"Vine," he said, using the accent. "I only drink vine."
"Yeah, me, too," she said, seemingly not noticing either the accent or the reference. "Red, right?"
He nodded and she leaned over the bar, signaled the bartender and ordered, slapping a bill onto the metallic bar surface.
The wine came quickly and she handed him his glass.
Protruding through the glove tips were nails filed to a point and painted black as a Transylvanian night. Well, he was used to that. All three of his women preferred noir nails, for some reason, although from time to time they used crimson polish, "Just to lighten my mood," Sephora had said.
The girl took a sip of wine and looked up at him. "Where you from?"
"Transylvania." It never failed to impress—except this time.
"Yeah, cool," she said, as if he'd said Buffalo.
"I was born in the Carpathian Mountains," he went on, knowing he was trying to claim her interest, wishing he would just let it go, but unable to. "That's where Dracula is from."
"I know," she told him, scanning the room as if searching for someone.
Okay, he thought, that's my best line. Where do I go from here? But before he could think of another bit of bio that would snag her, she turned to him quickly and said, "See that girl over there? The tall one with the long ponytail?"
She pointed in the direction of Celine.
"Yes," he said cautiously, and at that moment Celine turned in their direction. She began waving furiously and he scowled, lifting and moving a hand discreetly as if to brush her away. But she was not waving at him; she was aiming the effusive greeting at the girl, who enthusiastically waved back.
Great, he thought, they know each other, and a gloomy mood descended as Celine made her way toward them.
He figured he'd sunk as low as he could go, the night now being thoroughly lost, when suddenly Morgana and Sephora showed up and he was surrounded on four sides. It can't get much worse than this, he thought, forcing a fanged smile, inhaling the scent of the cheap wine— something from Bavaria, no doubt—and wrinkling his nose in distaste.
"Master," Sephora said in her singsong voice, "we have a birthday surprise for you."
"And here she is!" Morgana gestured at the gothette.
Celine laughed, which always got his radar going, but then she moved to the girl and gently but firmly pushed her toward Istvan. "Her name is Doru. She is Romanian and means 'longing.'"
"I know that," he said. It had been his mother's name. And the name of the one who'd turned him.
He stared at the girl, who seemed to feel anything but longing. Clearly she was not affected by all the attention coming her way. She glanced around the room, waved at a couple of friends, did a few dance movements that mimicked a mime push
ing the air away from her body in slow motion. Maybe she's a hooker, he thought, rented for the night.
As if to confirm that, Morgana said, "She's yours until sunrise."
"Happy birthday, Master," Sephora said, and kissed him on the cheek.
"Bonnefete!" Celine added.
"Is it my birthday?" Istvan said, confused, racking his brain to try to remember the date of his birth, which he had a vague recollection of having been in the fall, not the
spring. Perhaps it was the birth into this undead life, but he remembered it was cold outside and must have been winter. He just could not remember dates. These three were always chiding him for not acknowledging their birthdays—both living and undead—so why should they expect him to remember his own?
Morgana just stood there, arms folded across her ample chest and the hideous crucifixes that didn't affect her but bothered his eyes glaring like minisuns. She nodded at the girl, swinging her head slightly in Istvan's direction as if he were a piece of fruit in the market and Morgana was instructing her to "take that one."
Doru, with a small sigh, acted on cue. She placed her glass of undrunk wine onto the bar, took Istvan's arm and silently led him to the door of the club.
He heard laughter behind him and snapped his head around, but the three were still at the bar, smiling, waving, Sephora blowing him a kiss.
All right, he thought as he and Doru, still holding his arm, moved through the crowded streets, their feet in step though he was a good four heads taller. Maybe for once the three had gotten something right and had thought of him for a change! He glanced down at the girl and she looked up, her eyes twinkling like dark stars, her full black-painted lips a bit hungry-looking but nothing he couldn't deal with. She really is a cute little thing, he thought. What a shame to drain her blood.
As they strolled his thoughts moved along a familiar path and he fantasized about turning her. Maybe this was the one who would obey him. One that would love him
unconditionally, and let him be. Give him peace. Meet his expectations. Maybe Doru, whose blood was from the same country as his own, would be the perfect mate. Maybe he could ditch the three bitches!
When he caught his fantasy grinding toward the ultimate perfect conclusion, Istvan reminded himself harshly that he not only had been down this road before but had suffered failure three times. He had thought the exact same thing each time he'd turned one of his "wives," and look at the results! There was no point thinking this way. Whatever good qualities this girl possessed now would alter after the change. And in truth, the change required an exchange of blood and he certainly wasn't in the mood to give up anything when he had almost nothing in his system tonight, thanks to the Furies!
Better to just drain this girl's blood and be done with it. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, his mother had always said, although they had never owned a horse, either through purchase or gift, so he did not know where she got that saying.
They arrived back at the house and the girl took in the English garden, which Morgana, in her few moments of being industrious, tended. The house needed painting and the porch was awash in spiderwebs but otherwise the structure stood tall in its Victorian splendor. The moment he closed the heavy walnut door he was keenly aware of the incredible mess that the three had left behind. "It's not usually like this," he began, but Doru put a finger to his lips to silence him, meanwhile drawing him toward the red velvet settee.
All right! Istvan thought. These modern women are like that. He would let her lead. It would end the same way regardless and he didn't mind being passive. To a point. His eyeteeth ached in anticipation of piercing flesh, and he licked his dry lips, wanting to wet them on something thick and rich in minerals. He would enjoy a little erotic attention, even if it wouldn't, couldn't lead to what she expected. But it would lead to what he expected. What he deserved. Once they were seated, Doru began unbuttoning his shirt, already open to midchest. She leaned over and pushed the chains aside to kiss his chest, which once had been darkly hairy and masculine but since he'd altered had become pallid like the rest of his reanimated flesh. Not very appealing, but she didn't seem to notice.
Istvan leaned back and closed his eyes, feeling her hands and lips all over him. Yes, she was a delight. Cute. Small. Attractive. He had not fed yet and his blood receptors were fully open, providing acute sensations. He fantasized about how he would take her blood slowly. No, quickly. Maybe a combination of both. He wondered about her family name and was just about to ask when he felt a sharp prick at his throat. Instantly he knew she had bitten him. He felt blood leaving his vein like water dripping from a tap.
Istvan instinctively shoved her hard away from him. She flew across the room and crashed against the wall. Infuriated, she snapped her head up and snarled at him like a wolf; her eyes almost glowed, and her lips were smeared with red that sparkled like jewels. He put a hand to his throat and felt... his own blood! "What in hell do you think you're doing?"
Laughter from the doorway forced his head to turn in that direction.
"Just a joke, Master," Sephora said.
"We wanted to surprise you," Morgana said. "She's from your land."
"She is like us, no? She will be like us," Celine corrected herself. "She is not like us but we will all be like her—"
"No!" Istvan shouted, losing control. "I won't change her."
"Oh, you don't have to bother," Morgana said, striding into the room and helping Doru to her feet. "We've already taken care of that."
"Are you insane!" he shouted. "You made another? You have no right! I make vampires, not you!"
"Made," Morgana said. "We've taken over the job."
"If she is like us now, will she be like us later?" Celine mused in her language confusion.
"She is like us now," Sephora said. Then to Istvan, "We wanted a sister."
"And you should be happy," Morgana added. "She's of your blood."
"My blood?"
"Well, from your line."
"She's related to me?"
Doru, who had been listening silently as the others talked about her, suddenly rose to her feet. "I'm your cousin ten or twelve times removed. I lost count. Hi, cuz!" The girl waved at him, licking her lips.
Istvan put a hand to his head as if to hold his brain in. His eyes fell on the mirror and he saw an empty room. It
was true. They had already turned her. Likely she belonged to all three of them, which meant she would obey them, not Istvan. Now there were four! Against him! How would he survive?
The four bitches Surrounded him. Sephora threw an arm around his shoulders, Morgana placed a palm on his thigh and Celine took his hands in hers. Doru knelt at his feet and looked up at him with dark flashing eyes, eyes that somehow resembled his own. "It won't be so bad," Doru said.
"Not at all," Morgana confirmed. "We can have parties—"
"And have fun and go to clubs—" Sephora added. "And buy chic dresses and makeup—" Celine contributed.
"And go to fancy restaurants and shows—" Sephora said.
"And meet guys—" Morgana said. "And girls, too—" Celine added. "And—"
Istvan tuned them out. He thought for a moment of all the money it would take to add another horse to his stable, one whose mouth he should have looked into, despite Mama's warnings to not do that. If he had, he would have seen that Doru's fangs were not plastic implants but the real deal.
But his thoughts also flitted to cold winter nights when the winds blustered outside the house. When he would be home alone with the four of them, and what that would mean to his sanity. For fleeting moments, he imagined running, hiding, getting as far away as fast as he could. Putting distance between him and the four bitches. Would he never be free? When had eternity turned into hell on earth?
As if reading his thoughts, the young Doru ran a hand up his chest and tilted his face until he was looking into those eyes, bottomless murky pools. She moved close and the others with her. He felt himself tense, as if caught in a huge spiderweb.
"No! Absolutely not!" But before he could do or say more, they each had their sharp incisors in a vein or an artery and Istvan was being drained dry. He was already weak from not feeding, and the little resistance he could muster proved futile. They drank every last drop, leaving a starving, needy shell. It was all he could do to keep his eyes open. But open they were, enough that he could see the sky lightening through a crack in the curtains. A crack that widened when Morgana threw open the drapes.
"Time for bed, my sisters," she, the eldest, said, and the other three giggled and followed her from the room like baby ducklings, leaving Istvan crumpled on the settee. As the brilliant sun scaled the horizon and its rays shot through the window like fiery arrows moving steadily toward him, he heard more laughter in the distance. And words like "boring" and "demanding" and "cramping our style" and when he heard "box of wafers," he knew that they were talking about him.
Oh, how could it have come to this! He had given them eternal life and they gave him nothing but vindictiveness! Some women would pay to have the blood drained out of them, but these bitches just wanted revenge!
And now death by sunlight and starvation. Oh, cruel fate! He deserved much better. But some part of his brain consoled him with the fact that soon it would all be over. His misery. The torment of those . . . those . . . creatures! The true death would free him at last!
Sounds dimmed. Light blazed through the window. His thoughts turned inward, remembering home and his mother and how at last he would be reunited with his family. Or burn eternally in hell. He wasn't sure which, and he wasn't sure which fate was worse because he had never gotten along with his domineering mother. Oh, he could see it now, how he had been set up from childhood so that he was drawn to controlling women. Well, the true death, regardless of where it led him, had to be better than what he'd been enduring. Good-bye, cruel world! Good riddance, evil brides!
But Fate, heartless as she can be, presented herself to him in the physical form of Doru, who appeared before his eyes as if materializing out of a mist. The lovely Doru at that moment seemed as pure and innocent as an angel.
