by Aaron Niz
“Stay right the fuck there,” Tyler calls out breathlessly, running toward me. The flashlight beam bobs erratically in his hand. He’s carrying the baseball bat in his other hand. He hefts it, slowing down as he nears me.
I throw up my hands like a criminal. “Just let me go, dude. I swear I’m not going to the cops.”
“Bullshit.” He shines the light in my eyes again.
“Don’t come any closer,” I warn.
“Or what?”
“I’m asking you as a friend. Leave me alone.”
“You aint my friend. And you’re definitely not a brother. Fucking traitor.” He steps closer. “If you run, if you make a move, so help me God—I’m going to crack your skull in half.” He waves the bat in my direction.
“You going to kill me?”
“Just shut up. I’m going to bring you back to the cabin. You come with me and you fucking shut your mouth.”
“Fine.”
He steps closer again. Raises the bat up like Big Papi getting ready to hit a home run at Fenway Park. “Okay, put your hands behind your head and get down on the ground.”
“No way.”
He lifts the bat higher and steps forward. “Get on the fucking ground!” he yells.
Voices shout back from various places in the woods. Now the other brothers have been alerted. They know something’s going on even if they don’t know exactly where we are yet. How long before they find us?
“Tyler, it’s me. It’s Gabe. I’m not your enemy, you know me.”
“I also know that you’re never going to keep quiet about what happened here.
You think you’re innocent and that we’re the bad guys because we killed those motherfuckers in the clearing. Meanwhile we saved your life.”
“I believe you.”
“No you don’t. Now get on your knees, hands on you head.” I take a deep breath. “Fine. Just lower that baseball bat, you’re scaring me.”
“Too bad.”
“You scared of me or something?” I ask him.
“After the way you curled up in a ball on the floor when I dragged you out of the kitchen cabinet? I don’t think so.” He lowers the bat and trains the flashlight on me.
“Okay. Get down to your knees. Now.”
I drop to one knee.
And then, as if in slow motion, I see it all. See exactly what I need to do right this very instant.
I’ve never been the most athletic guy, and I’ve certainly never been the toughest or strongest. I’m not a fighter and never have been.
So when I decide to explode from this position, to hurl myself at Tyler with everything left in me, I’m shocked by the amount of force and speed that my body possesses. Maybe it’s nothing more than fear and adrenaline mixed together in a potent cocktail.
Even a rodent can be dangerous if backed into a corner.
Tyler’s not expecting it either. Before he can defend himself, I’ve shot in low to the ground smashed into him like a defenseman tackling a receiver on the gridiron, which is ironic since football was always Tyler’s game.
He grunts as his body crashes into the hard, cold ground. His baseball bat and flashlight go careening off in different directions and I hear them land in the surrounding undergrowth.
Tyler shouts something, but his voice is muffled by the contortions of our bodies as we struggle against one another in a vicious and brutal assault. I feel his fists crashing into my face, my jaw and eye.
There’s pain, but it’s distant, secondary to my motivation to survive at any cost.
I’m in a totally different state of mind than what I felt when he beat me up at the cabin.
Back then I was surprised, humiliated and ashamed and felt like I deserved a whipping for being a coward.
This time I’m fighting for my life and I’m determined to do whatever it takes.
I’ve already got the upper hand since I took him by surprise and threw him to the ground. I try to stay on top of him, putting all my weight on him as he throws punches from beneath me. He tries to scramble away but I stay on him, and now I throw a couple of hard shots to his face.
The sounds are heavy and thudding and the impact ripples up my arm and into my shoulders. He grunts each time I make contact.
Suddenly I feel a knee in my groin and the pain shoots through me like a bright burst of electricity. I cry out, and for a moment the agony freezes me. Tyler takes that chance to throw me off him and gain the top position.
“You had to try and be a tough guy, huh?” he says and then throws an elbow that grazes down my cheek. He leans in and starts trying to choke me.
His hands squeeze my throat. The brief second that his hands crush against my windpipe is horrifying, and it feels like my eyes are going to pop out of my skull. I quickly push him off and he tries again, then releases my neck and starts trying to attack my eyes.
His thumb jams me in my left eye and the pain from it is dazzling and blinding.
Tears pour down my cheek.
Another punch lands on my cheek. He’s on top of me and my strength is fading.
I’m going to die.
This is it. It’s all over.
That thought gives me one final burst of energy. As he leans down to attack me yet again, I time an elbow strike to his head. It lands perfectly, and I literally feel his skin giving way. Blood instantly splatters me.
He rolls off, grabbing his skull and squealing. “Shit man, I’m cut!” he says, as if this was just roughhousing that’s gone too far. Now that he’s truly been hurt he wants to call a timeout.
But there won’t be any timeouts called this time.
I tackle him and start pummeling him as he curls into a ball and tries to defend his head. My punches increasingly find the gaps, landing on his face, his chest, stomach and shoulders.
Finally, he tries to fight back. When he opens himself up to attack me, I land three hard punches to his nose and jaw. His arms drop and his body goes completely limp, like a ragdoll.
Standing up, gasping for air, I watch him and he doesn’t move at all.
I think he’s dead. I really might have just murdered him.
I step away, and then I see his chest rise and hear him cough, a sputter. His entire body jerks convulsively and then I hear him suck in a whooping mouthful of air.
Exhaling with relief that I didn’t actually kill him, I start to head out of the clearing. As I’m running I notice a dark cylindrical shape near my feet. I bend down and grasp the baseball bat that went flying when I attacked Tyler. I grab it and then begin running in earnest.
***
After an hour or two, I realize I’m completely lost. The moon is a faded orb in the sky and there’s the sense of impending dawn, but the trees all look the same and I haven’t seen any signs of civilization or life in a long time.
Since my run-in with Tyler I haven’t heard or seen another person, and I allow myself to believe that the brothers have finally given up on capturing me. They’d have to comb the woods for miles and miles in all directions to even stand a chance of finding me, not to mention the fact that most of them would end up lost if they did so.
Any minute now, I’m bound to run across a road or a river or a cabin, a hunter or a hiker. Something. Someone. And I’ll be saved.
What I don’t expect is that I might run into the very people we’d given up for dead. I see two vague figures sitting next to a small fire with a couple of backpacks, and I immediately wave my arms and call out to them. “Help!” The two figures stand up. “Who is that?”
I walk closer, expecting the figures to transform into a pair of older hikers or hunters, maybe with a yellow lab trotting into view. But when I start to recognize them, it’s as though my mind can’t accept what it’s seeing.
Jared and Walden. Two of the brothers who went out on an expedition to get help hours and hours ago.
“Gabe?” Jared says, laughing. “What the hell are you doing out here man?” Walden adjusts his glasses and grins. “Please
don’t tell me you’re lost too.” Despite the shock, I’m so glad to see friendly faces that I nearly burst into tears.
“Guys. Guys.” I drop down next to the fire and warm my nearly frozen hands.
“Dude,” Jared says, clapping me on the back, “have some water. You look fucking terrible.”
I accept the half-empty plastic bottle of water gratefully, drinking three or four large gulps before coughing and sputtering.
“Better?” Jared says.
“Yeah.” I put my face in my hands. “Oh man, I’m relieved to see you guys.”
“What happened?”
I sigh and look at both of them. “First tell me what happened to you guys.” Jared shrugs and Walden laughs. “You’re looking at it. We left the cabin and started off in the direction we thought would get us to the main road. But we decided to keep off the path because we figured that was how Diggler tried to go, and he didn’t make it.”
Jared breaks in. “Of course, we didn’t really figure just how dark it was and how bad our sense of directions are. After awhile we didn’t have a fucking clue where we were.”
Walden grabs a bag of peanuts and takes a few, hands it to Jared. “So we walked and walked and eventually we realized we were just making things worse, possibly getting further away from help. So we stopped and made a fire and decided to wait until daylight.”
Jared nods. “We decided that once the sun comes up it might be easier to find our way out of the wilderness.” He chucks a peanut in his mouth.
“What about Eugene, wasn’t he with you?”
“Eugene didn’t agree with our strategy. He said he was going to try and go back to the cabin and let everyone know what happened to us. I take it he never made it back?”
I shake my head, wondering if he’s still alive right now. What would the brothers do if he came back at this point? Would they just kill him on sight or wait and see how he reacted to the carnage?
“So that’s our story, and unfortunately it’s not a very exciting one,” Walden says.
“What’s yours? Is everyone okay?”
I take a deep breath and shake my head. And then the tears come.
Walden and Jared’s expressions turn concerned and slightly fearful. “Dude. Tell us what happened.”
“I’m not sure I can.”
“It’s going to be okay. Just tell us everything,” Walden says.
Something about the calm firmness in his voice gives me the strength I need to continue. “Okay,” I say, after the initial tears have passed. “But I have to warn you. It’s bad. Very, very bad.”
And then I begin to tell them. At first, the words come slowly to me, but eventually it’s like a confession. They listen raptly and with mounting horror as I describe the events of the past hours.
The indecision, the paranoia. The eventual violence carried out by our fellow brothers. And how they turned on me at the end.
By the time I’m finished, I feel drained once again. Physically and emotionally.
“Holy shit,” is all Jared can say. “Holy shit.”
“And you’re sure they were going to…to hurt you?”
“They would have killed me. I’m positive of that.” Jared whistles through his teeth. “Fuck me.”
“Okay,” Walden says. “Just calm down. We’re safe here. There’s no way they came this far away from the cabin to get you, Gabe. So you can relax now. Me and Jared will make sure nothing else happens. You hear me?”
“Yes. I hear you.”
“Rest.” Jared pats my shoulder. “The sun will be up soon and we’ll get the hell out of these godforsaken woods once and for all.”
“I can’t rest,” I tell him. “We shouldn’t stay here. Even if there’s a chance they might still be searching for me.”
“I’m telling you man, just rest for twenty minutes. You’re fried and your body is clearly exhausted. Take a load off and let Walden and me discuss what to do next.” I sigh as he slides one of the backpacks next to me. “Lay your head on this. Just close your eyes for a couple minutes. Okay?”
“I don’t know.” But I do as he says anyway and try to just close my eyes and let go. At first I keep startling awake in fear, my hands clenched, convinced something horrible is happening. But every time I open my eyes, all I see is Jared and Walden talking, their voices low and calm and soothing.
Somehow I manage to drift into a deep sleep without dreams. As I’m drifting off, I think how amazing it is that I can even shut my eyes after what I’ve been through. But the truth is that at a certain point, the human body can only take so much stress and fear and exertion.
I’m spent. I’m completely and utterly done in.
And so I sleep.
When I waken, it’s light out and for a moment I’m confused and disoriented.
There are three people standing and looking down at me.
I blink up at them, for a moment they’re just shadows and I nearly scream. For that brief second I’m convinced that I see the faces of my nightmares. Hetridge, Tyler and Reyes. Smiling wickedly as a scream makes its way out of my throat.
“Whoa,” Jared says, kneeling. “Chill, Gabe. It’s fine. Eugene’s back.”
“Shit.” I gulp and stand up unsteadily.
Walden and Eugene are watching me carefully. “Is he okay?” Eugene asks.
“I’m fine. I just…got confused. I thought I saw someone who wasn’t here.” They look at me the way you’d look at a relative just released from the loony bin, not really sure if I’m to be trusted.
I try to smile. “I’m fine, seriously. Just tired is all.”
“So like I was saying,” Eugene says, ignoring me and looking at the other two. “I think all I did was make a big circle. But I’m pretty sure I know how to get us to route seven.” He points to the east. “Straight as an arrow that way and I’m nearly positive we’ll hit the highway.”
“How do you know?” I ask.
He glances at me, his face betraying some annoyance. “Because. At one point I saw the radio tower from a distance and I know that’s right off the junction of seven and Main Street.”
“Oh.” I fall silent like a kid who’s been chastised by a parent.
“So, let’s get moving. If I’m right, we’ll hit the road by noon.” We start gathering the supplies, the backpacks, kick the fire out. “Did you tell him any of it?” I ask Jared as we’re about to leave, and Eugene is pissing in some nearby bushes.
Jared exchanges glances with Walden. “Not yet.”
“We just told him that you think it’s dangerous at the cabin, we thought it best not to go into details yet.”
“Yeah,” Jared agrees, and smiles.
I get a strange feeling in my stomach but I’m not sure why. All I know is that I need to get home.
Then I remember. Home is an apartment I share with Tyler. I can’t go back there.
No, I need to go home to my parents’ house. I imagine mom taking care of me like when I was sick as a kid. Bowls of hot chicken noodle soup, mugs of hot chocolate, a little blanket over my legs while I watch movies on TV.
I feel like I haven’t been truly warm in months.
As we walk together, I fall into a kind of uneasy trance.
After awhile the scenery of trees and bushes and the impenetrable sky just becomes a backdrop that never seems to change. It all looks equally familiar.
I give up expecting to hit the main road. Eugene doesn’t know how to get to the main road anymore than the others knew how to find safety.
We’re going to wander out here forever, I decide. And I’ll just walk and walk and let the others lead me.
But after awhile, I get a distinct feeling of déjà vu. I’ve been here before.
“Are you sure this is the right way?” I ask.
Nobody answers. We trudge onward.
Another unknown amount of time passes and the faint yellow sun is higher now in the sky. The wind has died down and the day is clear and fine. My body heats up from the exertion
and I no longer feel as cold.
But the déjà vu persists. The brothers aren’t talking at all. They seem to ignore me when I ask if we might be going the wrong way.
And then everything changes.
One moment it’s just like it was, with all of us plodding forward in a group together towards some unknown destination that Eugene seems confident exists. And the next, I have a horrible, intense feeling of dread come over me.
My stomach’s upset and there’s bile in my throat. I smell death and decay in my nostrils. “Wait a minute,” my voice croaks. “I think—I think I’m going to be sick.” Nobody’s listening.
I’ve been here before. I’ve seen that twisted tree that tilts at that angle, with the branches heavy, almost touching the ground. I’ve seen the large rock formation next to the tree. I remember this spot.
Yet I keep walking and moments later we’ve arrived at the clearing.
The tent is still there. The dead bodies.
“Oh my god,” I shout, and just as I turn to run I’m grabbed from all sides.
Eugene and Jared and Walden grabbing me, keeping me from moving. They pull me to the ground.
I try to fight, scratching, kicking. One arm free, my fist connects with someone’s face. “He hit me!” whoever it is shouts.
“Goddammit, keep him still,” someone else yells.
And then a fire blossom of pain in my skull and my eyes go black.
The world goes dim and there’s a keen buzzing in my ears.
***
When I slowly come to consciousness again, it’s with the dazed stupor that comes after a day of heavy drinking. My thoughts jumble into one another with the pained dullness of a slow motion car wreck.
I’m tied up. My hands…my arms…
Can’t move.
And there are so many people around me. I blink. I try to speak and my mouth tastes of cotton and I can barely breathe. I take a deep breath through my nostrils.
All of them are here. All of the brothers. The one’s still alive anyway.
They’re watching me the way a group of scientists stand around watching a dying lab rat. Discussing me in muted, hushed whispers, sometimes laughing, sometimes disagreeing.
Never speaking to me, never showing any sign that I might have something to say, or that my thoughts might be of importance.
