“I am sorry; you are right, of course,” she breathed. “Yes . . . I shall try to do as you ask.” Their eyes locked for a long moment.
“I will leave you now,” he said as he slowly withdrew his hand from hers.
“William,” she called as he turned to her one last time. “Thank you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Mrs. Pearson quickly entered the cottage, immediately calling to Hannah to boil water and bring some towels. As she approached the bed, she took Lizzy’s hand. “Are you in much pain, dear?”
“It . . . it comes and goes,” she answered. At that moment another contraction bore down on her, and she cried out.
Darcy had immediately followed Mrs. Pearson into the cottage and rushed to the doorway of the bed chamber upon hearing Lizzy’s cries.
As Mrs. Pearson turned to see him there, she demanded that he stop. “Sir, you must not be here! This is woman’s work. You must wait outside!” When he made no attempt to move, she became more adamant. “Sir, unless you are this woman’s husband, I must insist that you leave immediately!” With that, she instructed Hannah to close the door behind him.
He dutifully left the room and heard the closing of the door. As much as he knew he should not be there in the cottage, he could not bring himself to leave. His son or daughter was being born in the next room, and he would not rest until he knew that his child had been safely delivered.
His departure from her room did little to lessen the sounds emanating from Lizzy’s bed chamber. He could hear the reassuring and encouraging voice of Mrs. Pearson instructing Lizzy to breathe and not to bear down yet. As her cries increased in length and volume, he was now somewhat grateful to be on his side of the door. After many hours of pacing, he finally heard the sound that he had been praying for—the sound of a child’s hearty cry.
Inside the bed chamber, an exhausted Elizabeth looked up to see Mrs. Pearson holding a tiny bundle. She automatically reached out to the child, and Mrs. Pearson carefully placed it in her arms. As she moved the soft fabric away from the tiny infant’s face, her heart melted.
“Boy or girl?” she quietly asked.
“It is a healthy little girl,” said Mrs. Pearson. “And she appears to be the exact likeness of you, her eyes especially.”
Indeed, there was no doubt about it. The tiny little girl was already graced with swirls of dark chestnut curls and the same dark eyes as her mother.
Tears filled Elizabeth’s eyes as she gazed upon her daughter. She wondered how much time she had before the child would be taken from her; how long before her heart would break. Afraid to ask, she clung to the little girl and softly wept.
As the full effects of her strenuous afternoon converged upon her, Elizabeth succumbed to sleep. Hannah had been waiting in anticipation for just that occurrence and lifted the child from atop its mother.
Just before she was about to place the baby girl in the cradle, she had a second thought and started towards the door.
“Where are you taking the child?” asked Mrs. Pearson. Without answering her, she continued into the other room where she had no doubt the gentleman still remained.
Their eyes met briefly in understanding, and she gently placed the child into his hands. “It is a girl, sir,” she stated.
Darcy looked down at his daughter. As he gazed upon her dark eyes and dark curly hair, the love he immediately felt for her overwhelmed him. He then turned towards Hannah. “How is Lizzy?” his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper.
“She is sleeping now, but I am told she will be well. She came through the birth with no problems, sir.” Hesitantly she added, “Mrs. Pearson is to notify Mr. Gallagher of the birth immediately upon her return. Mistress will have only a day or two at the most to spend with the child.”
She collected the tiny baby from his arms and returned to the bed chamber.
~*~
As Darcy made his way back to Pemberley, his mind was much engaged. The thrill of holding his child in his arms had not yet left him. He was intoxicated with happiness and pride. He did not care that he was not granted a son. He had neither title to pass down nor entailment to cause him concern. The birth of this child, this beautiful little girl, was his finest hour.
He had wanted to break down the door to Lizzy’s bed chamber and get on his knees to her, to thank her for this wonderful gift she had given him.
How could he just walk away from her now? His mind recaptured the look in Lizzy’s eyes as she had grasped his hand and implored him not to leave her. Knowing that their association would now be terminated was unbearable. He no longer had any excuse to seek her out.
His emotions dictated that he must profess to her his feelings of gratitude and admiration for all she had endured. Yes, he would write her and thank her for providing him with the greatest gift of his life.
~*~
There was much excitement and activity as the news of the birth spread throughout Pemberley. Mr. Gallagher had arranged it so that the child would be brought to the estate in the middle of the night. As soon as Mr. Darcy had informed Mrs. Reynolds of the birth, she had immediately sent for the wet nurse she had hired the month before.
With the child now safely nestled in Anne’s arms, her joy was boundless. She gently traced her fingers over the little girl’s cheek as she slowly rocked her. The child looked so much like her husband, she thought, with his many dark features. Yet there was something different about the eyes. Fitzwilliam had deep brown eyes, but these eyes were almost black as coal. The child was undeniably beautiful. She would love this child as her own.
As Darcy entered the nursery, he smiled at the picture of his wife and daughter in the rocking chair. Anne looked up and greeted him as he kissed her cheek and his daughter’s brow.
“We have yet to discuss a name, Fitzwilliam,” said Anne.
“Tis true. Have you given it any thought?” he answered.
“I admit, I have not thought of girls’ names at all, so convinced was I that it should be a boy. After all, did not my mother assure you of it?” she asked with a slight smile upon her face. “Have you any preferences?”
He remained silent for a moment. “I assumed if it was a girl we would name her after you and my mother,” he said. “Perhaps we could use “Elizabeth” as a middle name. I . . . I believe it was the name of my mother’s aunt. How does Anne Elizabeth sound to you?” he asked, not quite audacious enough to suggest Elizabeth Anne.
“I rather fancy it, Fitzwilliam, but I think it best we not call her Anne. That might prove to be too confusing. We could call her by her middle name perhaps.
Startled for a second, he almost flinched. “I have no objections if you do not. Are you sure that is your desire?”
“Yes, I think that would suit her. We could call her Ellie or perhaps Beth,” replied Anne. “There are several names that are short for Elizabeth.”
“Good, then it is settled. Miss Anne Elizabeth Darcy, welcome to Pemberley,” he said with a gallant bow before his yawning, unimpressed daughter.
As the child began to fidget, the wet nurse was called for. Anne handed her daughter over to be fed, and Darcy helped his wife up from the chair and offered her his arm.
“Shall we have breakfast sent up to the sitting room? he inquired.
“Yes, that will be fine, except I need a moment to refresh, Fitzwilliam. I will join you there shortly.”
As she made her way towards her chambers, her cough could no longer be suppressed. She knew the remission that had subdued the ill effects of her condition was abating. Fitzwilliam was sure that the return of her once again persistent cough was attributed to her recent exertions in preparing the nursery and that it would soon desist. She hoped, rather than believed, it to be true.
God had granted her the time she needed to complete her plan, but she selfishly wanted more. She prayed for more time to be a mother to their child, time for them to be a family.
~*~
Hannah awakened to find the cottage empty. As s
he ran outside to find her mistress, her search was quickly and with much relief truncated as she discovered Elizabeth slowly pacing the path in front of the cottage.
“Miss, you ought not be on your feet so soon!” cried Hannah. “Mrs. Pearson said you should not venture outside the cottage for several days.”
Her words seemed to have little effect upon her mistress, as she gave no indication that she had heard them. Hannah went to her side and gently led her back towards the cottage door. “Please, Miss, come inside and lie down. You need rest to give your body a chance to restore itself.”
Although she complied, she barely comprehended Hannah’s words. Her mind was numb. It was best right now that it remain so.
It was the thirtieth day of May, three days following the birth of her daughter. Even though she had relinquished her child to Mr. Gallagher in the early hours of the preceding morning, Elizabeth could still smell the newborn’s scent on the small bed clothes she had been wrapped in. She could still feel the warmth of the tiny body cuddled closely to hers and the small mouth on her breast as Mrs. Pearson had instructed her to the suckling of her child. To know she would never experience these things again was unbearable. She only wanted to feel nothing.
As she looked around the cottage, her only thought was to flee. She could stay there for another month if she wished, but she had no desire to remain where memories of her child flooded her mind. At that moment she had no idea what she wanted to do. She did not want to stay there, but it was too soon for her to face Jane or her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner. She would not be able to conceal her grief from them.
She went to her dresser and pulled out the letter she had read several times already, the letter that William had handed to Hannah yesterday.
May 29, 1812
Dear Lizzy,
Be not alarmed on receiving this letter, for my only purpose is to express those feelings which I must unburden to you.
Though propriety may disallow it, I must speak of what is in my heart. I am filled with such gratitude that I know my mere words cannot do justice to convey my feelings. Nothing else in my life will ever compare to the joy I now know as I look upon my daughter’s beautiful face. To know that my joy must also be your sorrow brings me pain.
I know at what cost to your happiness you have sacrificed for the good of your family. Your selflessness and goodness have shamed me.
Above all, I wish to tell you of my deepest regret for my words and actions that day I visited you at the cottage. To have made such an improper suggestion was quite unforgiveable, and yet, I beg your forgiveness for it would be hard to know that you are alive in the world and thinking ill of me.
I will always think upon you with great affection and tender regard, for you have truly changed my life in ways you cannot possibly know. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers.
May God bless you and keep you safe.
Yours most gratefully,
William
The tears she shed made the last line impossible to read, but it mattered not, for she now knew the letter by heart.
She thought of Mrs. Worthington. She had offered her help several months ago. Perhaps she could seek refuge there until she was strong enough to face her family. She would write to her this very afternoon.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
“Caroline, I have received wonderful news. Mr. and Mrs. Darcy are the proud parents of a baby girl!” exclaimed an enthusiastic Bingley.
“Are you sure?” asked a surprised Caroline. “Both the child and Mrs. Darcy survived?”
“Yes, of course, I’m sure. I just received a letter from Darcy himself, telling me of the event. He has asked us to attend the christening ceremony next month.”
“Who are to be godparents?” asked Caroline hopefully.
“Well, he did not say, but I am assuming it is to be his sister and Colonel Fitzwilliam. They stood up for them at their wedding. Is it not customary that they be godparents to their first born?”
“And Mrs. Darcy has suffered no ill effects from the birth? You are sure?” inquired a much agitated Caroline.
“I know of none. Darcy did not elaborate in his letter, but I assume all is well. What makes you ask such a thing?” inquired her brother.
“No particular reason, Charles. I am just aware of how fragile Mrs. Darcy’s health has always been.”
Though he would like to believe that Caroline truly had concern for Mrs. Darcy’s wellbeing, he could not help but doubt the sincerity of her words.
“Well, you shall see for yourself when we visit next month,” said Bingley.
“Yes, I am most looking forward to it, Brother. Oh, by the way, Charles, I think I will invite Dr. Adams to dine with us this evening. Will you be at home?”
“I’m afraid I have already made other plans, Caroline. But, please do not change your plans on my account. Louisa and Mr. Hurst can help you entertain him,” replied Bingley.
Caroline already knew that her sister and brother were going out for the evening but made no mention of it. There was definitely something not quite right about this whole situation, and Caroline was determined to get to the bottom of it. Dr. Adams had been quite adamant in his opinion that Anne would not be strong enough to bear a child. He had even intimated that she had previously failed at such an attempt. If she could procure any information regarding the birth from Dr. Adams, perhaps she could use it to her advantage.
“Yes, I think that would work out well, Charles,” she said as she smiled her sweetest smile.
~*~
“I was most . . . delighted . . . to hear of Mrs. Darcy’s safe delivery,” said Caroline as she led Dr. Adams from dinner into the parlour. “I hear that she encountered no difficulties giving birth.”
“I, too, was quite surprised on learning such news,” replied Dr. Adams as he took a seat on the couch. “But as Lady Catherine informed me herself of the birth I had no cause to doubt it.”
As she settled in next to the doctor she allowed for little room between them.
“Did you have cause to doubt it, sir?” she asked as reached for his hand.
“I admit I did find it a rather perplexing verity,” suggested Dr. Adams.
As she held his hand in hers, she slowly brought it to her breast as she whispered, “Dr. Adams, you indeed make it sound quite mysterious.”
Encouraged by such an act, Dr. Adams allowed his arm to encircle her. “I would say indeed it is almost miraculous,” he replied. “But a happy outcome for everyone, I assure you, Miss Bingley.”
The truth was that if Lady Catherine had not personally informed him of the birth, he would not have believed it. Indeed, he had his own theories as to the actual circumstances that had produced an heir to Pemberley. Since he had advised Mr. Darcy regarding the danger to himself should he resume intimacies with his wife due to the consumption and he had also cautioned him of the danger to Anne should she again find herself with child, he found it almost incomprehensible that he would so thoroughly disregard his warnings. No, he was convinced Mr. Darcy had taken his advisements most seriously.
Caroline put her head on his shoulder and sighed, “Oh, you don’t know how happy I am to hear such news, Dr. Adams.”
“Your devotion to your friend is admirable, Miss Bingley. I am sure she is grateful for such a friend as you.”
“You flatter me, Dr. Adams,” said Caroline as she now looked deep into his eyes.
He moved closer and slowly moved his mouth towards hers. Just before their lips were about to meet, she asked, “So, it is your opinion that Mrs. Darcy is now in the best of health?”
Dr. Adams found his usual strict adherence to his Hippocratic Oath somewhat obscured by the amount of wine he had partaken at dinner and the fact that his libido was causing havoc with his better judgment. “Well, I wouldn’t exactly say that,” he replied as he again made his way towards her lips. As they kissed, Dr. Adams was at first tentative, but, as he gauged her reaction, he allowed that she was receptive to his attentio
ns.
Caroline, certain the doctor had knowledge which would help her plight, was prepared to take whatever measures were necessary in order to attain the information she needed. However, the only way she could tolerate Dr. Adams’s lips upon hers was to pretend that those lips belonged to Mr. Darcy. With that thought in mind, she found she was able to bear Dr. Adams’s advances quite tolerably. As they broke from their kiss, she pulled away and asked, “What do you mean by that, sir?”
Not wishing to spend the rest of the evening discussing Mrs. Darcy’s health when there were other things he would much rather be doing, he quickly intimated, “I believe Mrs. Darcy successfully bearing a child in her precarious health has raised many questions in my mind, but perhaps it is best not to speculate on such things.”
“Of course, I understand, Dr. Adams. But are you suggesting you do not believe that all is at it seems?”
Reluctant to let this opportunity of intimacy pass, he had no choice but to appease her. He hastily replied, “Miss Bingley, I promise I will tell you all I know later,” while impatiently pulling her into a deep embrace.
“Do I have your word, sir?” asked Caroline as she resisted his arms.
“You have my word, Madam.”
As she heard his declaration, she willingly succumbed to his embrace, knowing that by evening’s end she would learn everything there was to know. She was almost giddy with anticipation as she tried to imagine what truths she would soon uncover.
Refocusing her mind to the task at hand, Caroline acquiesced to the demanding lips that sought hers, and with thoughts of Mr. Darcy running through her head, she surrendered to the doctor’s attentions. As his hands began to explore, Caroline was in heaven as she again imagined that it was Mr. Darcy’s hands that now swept enticingly over her body.
So engrossed was she in her world of fantasy that she did not notice the point at which hands no longer caressed her nor lips sought her own. As she pulled back to look at Dr. Adams, his eyes were wide with fright. He grabbed his chest as his body slumped forward and fell atop of hers.
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