by Gemma James
That I missed him?
Definitely.
That I still cared about him?
“I regret many things,” I said. “But changing the past isn’t possible, and even if it were, I’m not sure I’d want to.”
“I think you would.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips on mine. The kiss barely lasted a second, but it was enough to knock the air from my lungs.
“Don’t,” I said through thinly veiled anger.
“You’re not the same woman you were a year ago. You’re stronger, more determined.” He narrowed his eyes. “You’re staying for her, aren’t you?”
I shook my head, mouth gaping. Was it true? Did I endure Gage’s rigid rules and brutal hand for Eve? Or was I staying because no one worked my body the way he did? The heat flaring between my legs—heat that had nothing to do with Ian’s brief kiss—gave me my answer. I loved Gage for the way he made me feel; wild and out of control. But I also hated him for the way he made me feel.
Like a caged animal.
Just as Ian was doing now. “I love him.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You can choose to believe what you want.” I shoved him back, surprised by how easily he relented. Compared to Gage, Ian was weak…or less determined to make me bend.
He fell back against the couch, his hand grasping his head. “I’m sorry, Kayla.” Wincing, he cursed under his breath. “This is harder than I thought.” He was about to say more, but my cell went off.
Gage.
“You going to get that?” Ian asked.
“No,” I whispered. “If you need to get something off your chest, do it now.” I pointed at the door. “Because once I walk out of here, I’m not coming back.” My cell blared again.
Ian rose to his feet. “I can’t do this with him calling every fucking thirty seconds.”
His constant mood shifts made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. “Do what?” I stood and faced him, clutching my obnoxious phone like a lifeline. “You’re worrying me.”
He wasn’t acting like himself, and it scared me.
“You know what?” He paused, his attention veering to the ceiling for a moment. “You’re right. It’s too little, too late. If you’re truly happy, then I can accept that. I can leave you be.” He exhaled. “I just…I had to know.”
I moved to place a hand on his arm but thought better of it. Hell, his cryptic-speak was messing with my head. My phone went off again, and I answered on the second ring with a clipped, “Hello?”
“Where are you?” Gage’s question dripped with fury.
“On my way to pick up Eve.”
“Don’t bother. I picked her up early.”
My fingers tightened around the phone. I cast a furtive glance at Ian and noticed the tightness of his features. Afraid he’d see the alarm in my eyes and do something about it—like alert Gage to his presence—I turned my back on him.
“Why did you take her out of school early?”
But I knew the answer before I’d tossed the question out there. He’d done it because maneuvering me was what he did best, and if he wanted me home, getting the upper hand by using Eve would ensure I walked into his trap.
“We need to talk, so get your ass home and maybe I’ll go easy on you.”
8. Surrender
The front door stood between me and my surrender, silently mocking with its facade of normalcy. Beyond that door waited a prison. Waited passion. Waited punishment. Waited him.
Most people would stay on the side where I stood. The safe side. The sane side. Too bad I needed the insanity to feel sane anymore. Needed his soul-crushing possession to feel free. Because it was freeing…until the last wave of rapture crested and the bars of my world clanked into place again.
Folding my reluctant fingers around the handle, I wedged the door open inch by inch. He had my daughter in there, so entering Gage’s domain of fucked-up was a sure thing.
I dawdled in the foyer and hung up my coat, set my purse on the table, fiddled with my wedding ring. The quiet unsettled and that alone sent my feet moving in the direction of the living room, in search of my daughter. Instead, I found Gage on one end of the white sectional, still as stone.
“Where’s Eve?”
“In the dining room coloring. She’s got a snack, one of those juice pouch thingamabobs you buy her, and enough crayons to draw a rainbow masterpiece.” He patted the cushion next to him. “Sit down.”
I took a step forward, my gaze on the kitchen. The dining room lay just beyond, irritatingly out of sight.
“For fuck’s sake, Kayla.” He reached out and planted me on his lap in a way that left no question about his state of mind. I straddled him, and his firm hand on my back brought me closer until my breasts smashed against his chest. His cock throbbed between us, refusing to be ignored.
“Where did you go?”
“The mall.” The lie left my lips in a near mechanical way. “Then I went for a drive. I needed some time to think.”
With a sigh, he dropped his head against the back of the couch. “I was going to tell you.”
“Why didn’t you?”
He slid his palms up my thighs and squeezed. “I knew it would hurt like hell. We’ve been trying for months—”
“Gage…please.” Closing my eyes, I pinched the bridge of my nose, sensing the onset of a headache. I didn’t want to go down this road. Not today—not when my emotions were a mutilated, bloody mess. Dealing with Ian’s cryptic presence and then facing the fact I might never have another child was too much to handle in one day.
“This is why I didn’t tell you,” he said. “I didn’t want to rip that wound open.”
“The truth had to come out eventually.”
Just as all secrets do.
“I know, Kayla. Fuck. Don’t you think I know that? I wanted to give us time…I was hoping…never mind.”
What he didn’t say busted through with clarity. He’d banked on the appearance of two lines to soften the blow when he told me about his child with Katherine.
Katherine, of all people.
My stomach lurched. God, how I hated that woman. I could already imagine the smug curve of her lips. She’d hold this over my head, milk it for all it was worth. She was the mother of his child…and I wasn’t.
But I was his wife. He’d put his ring on my finger. He shared a bed with me every night. He got what he needed every time he took his belt to my ass. Every time he pushed me to my knees, past my limits. Every time he fucked me. Suddenly, I wanted to curl up at his feet and beg him to do as he wished.
I had power.
My mind turned itself inside out mulling over the realization. She had his son, but I had him where it counted—I had him by his obsession, by his heart, and by his balls.
And now I had his mouth opening under mine, allowing me two seconds to claim until he rose up from rock-bottom and remembered who he was. He held me by the nape and took control, plundering my mouth in a way that only Gage could. The taste of him on my tongue pounded the memory of Ian’s chaste kiss to dust.
I completely lost my shit, grinding my slick pussy against the bulge in his pants. He swallowed my moans, let loose one of his own, then abruptly broke free. He glanced down at our bodies, practically interlocked despite our clothing.
“Don’t think this changes anything.” He brought his lips to my ear. “Your hot little cunt won’t tempt me,” he whispered. “No orgasms.”
My head was still spinning from dry-humping him like a horny teen, but at least I was lucid enough to catch what he’d said. To grasp the meaning of it.
“No?” I challenged, moving my hips.
He shook his head. “It’s going to be torture, Kayla.”
My eyes drifted shut. “Why’s that?”
“You’re in big trouble,” he said, palming my breasts, “and your punishment is going to make my cock throb like hell.”
I groaned, knowing that I couldn’t throw his deceit in his face withou
t my conscience lambasting me.
“But we’re getting sidetracked here, aren’t we?” He let his hands drop. “You might not believe it, but I am sorry. You deserved the truth.”
I’d never felt shittier than I did in that moment. This was a rare occasion for Gage. What had gone down in his office earlier today had knocked him off his game, and he was still reeling.
“So she’s not coming back to work for you?”
“No, baby.”
A lengthy pause fell upon us, and I sensed the wheels in his head turning.
“We’ll tell Eve together. But I think it would be better for her to get to know him first. He’s about her age, and for all intent and purposes, he’s her brother.”
“That bitch’s spawn is not Eve’s brother.”
Gage narrowed his eyes. “He’s part of me too. I realize we have a lot to deal with, but don’t take your hatred for Katherine out on my son.”
I pushed off his lap and wandered around the living room, since in a way, it beat pacing. This would change everything. Later it would really hit me. I felt the weight of his keen gaze on me, so I gave him my back and folded myself in the protection of my arms.
But then he had to go and melt my heart by embracing me from behind. By showing me we were in this together. “Baby, you’re strong and compassionate and caring. I know you’ll accept him as your own.”
The way he’d accepted Eve as his own. He didn’t have to voice it. I heard the truth.
“Are you going for custody?”
“I won’t take him from his mother, but I do want to be part of his life.” His arms tightened around me. “I want the three of us to be part of his life.”
“Like one happy family, in between the whips and chains.”
His low laugh vibrated against my neck. “Whips, chains, and nipple clamps. Don’t think I’ve forgotten how you stormed from my office earlier.”
The doorbell rang, fracturing our private bubble.
Eve raced from the kitchen. “Is that Leah?” she asked as Gage let me go. I cast a confused glance in his direction, one bordering on suspicious.
He eyed me in a way that set my teeth on edge. “No, princess. There’s someone I want you to meet.”
The world seemed to freeze as he disappeared into the foyer. When he returned, ushering Katherine and her son into our house, the earth lurched forward again with too much force.
Oh hell no.
I would not let that woman get under my skin in my own home. Rather than avoid her gaze, I met it head-on, refusing to let her haughty expression draw a response from me. I’d expected her nasty disposition, had prepared for it from the moment I learned Gage was her son’s father. All I had to do was remind myself that his pants were still damp from my arousal. I hoped the bitch smelled it, tasted it on her vapid tongue.
Folding my arms, I clenched my teeth as I watched them interact. Eve warmed to her son immediately, which wasn’t surprising because she welcomed everyone. Katherine took a step closer to Gage and opened her mouth, about to spew her venom, but he halted her with a raised hand.
“This isn’t the time or place.”
Just like that, she clamped her lips shut and fumed in silence.
He returned his attention to the kids and spoke to Eve. “You’re going to spend the day with Katherine and Conner.”
His words were a jolt to my system. I lurched forward, hands fisted at my sides, about to shout my disapproval, but Eve’s expectant face cooled my wrath. “She’s not going anywhere with that woman.”
Gage threw me a dark glance. A warning to behave. “We aren’t discussing this right now.”
“But—”
“Not now,” he said in a tone that proved more effective than him raising a hand.
Now I was the one fuming in silence.
“Mommy, can I go?”
Biting my tongue, I nodded.
“But what about game night? Today is Monday,” she said with pride.
Gage bent so he could meet her eyes. “You’re going to have game night with them.”
“Are you and Mommy coming?”
“Not this time, princess. Your mom and I have a date.” He tilted his head. “Do you know what a date is?”
She shook her head, curiosity and dejection coloring her features.
“A date is when two people go out and do something special.”
“Like what?”
Gage glanced at me, his grin hinting at a devious plan brewing in his mind. “I can’t say. We wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise for your mom, would we?”
Katherine glowered at me. If looks could maim, I’d be a pile of shredded skin and bones. Gage’s words cooled my ire some because he’d not only put her in her place with a lift of his authoritative hand, but he’d shown her beyond doubt that she had no place between us.
She left with her son, taking Eve with them, and my spirits plummeted. Gnashing teeth seemed to take over my gut, cutting me to pieces. Knowing that she was walking out the door with my baby girl and watching her do it were two different things.
The resulting disquiet scraped my mind like claws on a chalkboard. I crossed my arms. “You should have asked me before you let that bitch take my daughter.” I didn’t want Eve around her. Hell, I didn’t want him around the bitch.
“I thought she was our daughter.”
“She is.” I dipped my head. “You know you’re the only father she has.”
“And I’ll make decisions for her, same as you.” He lifted my chin. “If I thought Katherine posed a risk to Eve, I’d be the first in line to do something about it.” The firm set of his mouth softened. “This is more about jealousy than anything. I know you well.”
I couldn’t deny it, as she’d been nothing but kind to Eve in the past.
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about your tantrum in my office.” His fingers tightened around my chin. “On your knees, now.”
Strength trickled from my body, escaping through the holes he’d poked in my armor. I dropped and assumed the position. He stood before me, his feet planted with grating confidence shoulder-width apart on the floor.
“Kayla.”
I peered up through the strands falling over my right eye. The ones he brushed away with a touch so soft and gentle, it stole my breath. “Yes, Master?”
The corner of his mouth quirked up, and I knew I’d hit the right button. He was helpless against that title when I gave it to him of my own free will. It was one of the few ways I had of manipulating him.
Tucking my hair behind my ear, he moved even closer. Caging me in. Making my world narrow to the hard floor under my knees, the blazing warmth in my extremities, and the larger-than-life posture of the man who owned me.
“I’m in a merciful mood, so you’re spared from taking a lashing.” He reached into his pocket and dangled a set of nipple clamps at eye level. Upon further inspection, I realized they were the kind he reserved for going out. The kind that made me feel beautiful, despite the agonizing pain they caused.
“However, I think you deserve these. What do you think, Kayla?”
If I disagreed with him, he’d only lash me for it, and my nipples would still end up between his sadistic vises. “Yes, Master. I deserve them.”
“Go into our bedroom and prepare for me. I left the coconut bath products out for you.” He fisted the clamping set. “I expect you on your knees, naked, no later than thirty minutes from now. Do not move from that position.” He pivoted and headed into the kitchen.
As I dragged my feet toward the hall, I spied him opening a bottle of his favorite red. He perched on a bar stool and made himself comfortable as if he intended to stay put for a while. He’d probably sit there for at least an hour, his cock growing thicker, straining against his pants, forming a hard ridge behind his zipper at the thought of me on my knees in the next room.
On my knees waiting for him. Hurting for him. Powerless to do anything other than pass the time in supplication.
I entered
the bedroom and quietly shut the door. Thirty minutes didn’t give me much time to bathe, shave my legs, do something with my hair.
But he’d expect me to look like a damn model anyway. I shook my head, kicking myself for feeling a modicum of surprise. Gage had never made my life easy, and he never would. His talents lay in other areas, like making me insane with want and need when he got me under his powerful body in bed, up against the wall, bent over a table…chained to the St. Andrew’s cross.
Humiliated on my knees with his cock on my tongue.
I sighed as I switched on the faucet to the tub. Despite all that, he made me feel loved. Cherished. Possessed. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to have me, to fight for me, to protect me. He would crash into hell and charm the devil out of his throne if it meant giving me the world. Of course, he’d chain me to it. The world and I…we were both treasured possessions in Gage’s fist.
I shut the faucet off, twisted my hair into a messy up-do, and sank into the blessed hot water. I wanted to lean my head back and close my eyes for a few minutes—just long enough to prepare myself for whatever he had planned. But I couldn’t. Every minute counted. Two minutes to shave the barely-there stubble on my legs. Another minute lathering my steaming skin with the coconut body wash he’d left on the edge of the tub.
Ten more minutes to dry off and spread lotion on every inch of my skin. What little time I had left, I used for hair and makeup, and at the thirty-minute mark, I dropped to my knees in the middle of the bedroom and watched the clock to pass the time. No matter how much I pleaded with him to lay a rug down, he refused. The sadist in him gleefully smiled at my pain.
He appeared in the doorway forty-five minutes later, and my knees ached something fierce as he laid the clamps, along with a butt plug, onto the bed. He disappeared into the walk-in closet and emerged a few minutes later wearing tan slacks paired with a soft navy knit shirt. He’d left three buttons at the neckline open. Damn, I wanted to kiss down his throat and make him moan. Gage’s idea of casual was no less arresting than the business suits he wore to the office.
“What have you learned from this?” he asked as he wandered to where I kneeled.
“To obey you.” The strong, more recent voice in my head rebelled, threatening to throw a verbal punch at his beautiful face.
