On the very next play, Flannagan jumped on a Graham player’s back, but even that did not make him give up the ball. Moyra tried to join Cullen’s team, and that stopped the game for nearly five minutes while one after another tried to get her to leave the field. She looked somewhat disheveled when she finally gave up, and when she looked, Laird Graham was laughing. That made her mad, and she stomped away – heading for the loch.
During the next futeball play, one MacGreagor flipped another up in the air and he somehow managed to land on his feet, which caused the crowd to cheer. He tried to take a bow, but he was soon tackled from behind even though he no longer had the ball. Three plays later, Craig caught the ball and ran down the side until he reached the goal line. Cullen’s team claimed he was out of bounds, and Flannigan’s team claimed he was not – not that anyone actually knew where the boundary line was.
Flannagan normally hiked the ball to the men behind him between his legs, but when it was Cullen’s turn on the other team, he hurled it over his shoulder confusing them all. The man who caught it easily made a touchdown. Everything went downhill from there and before long Flannagan stood face-to-face with Cullen. “‘Tis against the rules!” he shouted.
“What rules?” Cullen yelled back. He wore a woman’s scarf around his head to keep the sweat out of his eyes, but it rarely did a good enough job. “We have but one rule and that is for my lads to get the ball to your side without you killin’ them.”
“The rule that says you cannae grab hold of my shirt!”
Cullen stuck the ball under his arm. “I know of no such rule.”
Eimhir came closer hoping to help settle the argument.” I say...”but Flannagan put his massive hand on Eimhir’s chest and shoved him away.
“Johnathan should not be allowed to play,” Flannagan continued, “he is too small.”
“You only say he is too small because you cannae catch him.”
“We fear hurtin’ him, is what. How many arms and legs have already broken – six...seven?”
Cullen lifted his shirt and wiped sweat off his brow. “You have two more lads than we. Therefore, Johnathan stays.”
“I say he goes,” Flannagan argued. “We have...”
Cullen suddenly put his hand up to silence everyone. When they quieted, each of them could clearly hear the pounding of horse’s hooves in the distance. He turned to watch just in time to see ten of the king’s men enter the glen.
“I dinna hear the whistles,” Cullen whispered to Flannagan.
“The guards play on your team,” Flannagan whispered back.
He quickly looked around only to discover Flannagan was right. It was just one more reason Cullen knew he was not fit to command the clan.
The king’s men were a colorful lot, all wearing steal helmets, leggings, and kilts. Their tunics and long sleeve shirts ranged from forest green, to yellow, to orange and red. Two of them carried Red Lion flags on poles. Unabashedly, the Scottish soldiers walked their horses into the middle of the futeball field and stared down at the clansmen.
Everyone held their breath, for the coming of the king’s men normally meant only one thing – they had come to demand fighters prepare for the next battle with the English.
“By the order of King James II, you are hereby charged to cease playin’ futeball!” The captain of the king’s men had either seen too many battles or he was an elder, for his hair was turning white on the sides.
Cullen swiftly hid the ball behind his back, but it was too late, and when the captain swung down and wiggled his fingers, Cullen begrudgingly handed him the ball. The captain pulled his dagger, slit the ball in half, and let the remnants fall to the ground.
“I dinna like that ball anyway,” Flannagan said.
“Why can we not play?” Cullen asked.
“‘Tis because you neglect your practicin’. The king needs well-practiced longbow men to fight his wars. Be you all warned fairly. If caught again, you shall be pressed into the King’s service.”
“To fight?” Cullen asked.
“Aye, or to sail on one of His Majesty’s ships.” The captain waited for Cullen’s nod of understanding, got back on, turned his horse, and led the soldiers out of the glen.
Most could not believe it, for there had been no call to go to battle and more than one wife hugged her husband. Laird Graham looked especially relieved and Laird Kennedy crossed himself in the Catholic tradition. The futeball players stared after the king’s guard, and when they could hear them no more, Craig ran to get the spare ball.
When he returned, Beathag said, “Fortunate is the lad who is forced to sail on the king’s ship.” His remark was met with laughter, the teams lined up opposite each other, and Cullen got ready to hike the ball. He pretended to hike it between his legs, changed his mind and was about to toss it over his shoulder when Donnan suddenly appeared before him.
“Cullen, did you not hear?”
“Aye,” Cullen said. He handed the ball to his brother and headed to the river to wash his face and cool down. Behind him, the other men moaned, but Donnan was right. There was no way to know if the King’s men would come right back, and then the punishment would be unmerciful.
CULLEN WAS ON HIS WAY back from the river when he heard Annella’s voice. He thought she was with everyone else in the glen. Worried that something might be amiss, he followed the sound. He walked between two cottages and as he neared, he heard a man’s voice as well. Cullen slowed, laid his back against one of the cottages, and then peeked around the corner. Horrified, he sharply pulled back. Annella was in the arms of Tavis Kennedy and he was kissing her.
“We must not,” Cullen heard her say, but then it was quiet again and he could only guess what was happening. His heart sank, he stared at the ground and tried to decide what to do. Should he catch them together, or not let them see him? An angry man would call Tavis out, but Cullen was more hurt than angry. Annella was his...or so he always believed. He could not bear to hear anything more, so he turned around and went the other way. He found a rock to sit on at the edge of the river, and then bowed his head. Just that morning, Fergus Kennedy reminded him that time was short and he vowed to wait no longer to make Annella his wife.
It was already too late.
He had little time to think what to do, for just then he heard the sound of an explosion. Women screamed, men shouted and by the time Cullen ran back into the glen, smoke was rising from the back of the cannon. Niall and Taog looked well pleased with themselves – until they realized they were the only ones.
“What happened?” Cullen asked as he moved to stand next to his brother.
A disgruntled Donnan pointed at the boys. “They shot the cannon.”
Cullen looked toward the end of the glen and saw sheared off trees lying across the road. “How?”
“Tis my fault,” said Fergus Kennedy. “They asked and I told them how to fire it, but I dinna think they would do it.”
“Aye, but the gunpowder and the balls were hidden away,” said Cullen.
“In the cheese cellar,” said Isabell. “I fear most everyone knew where they were.”
Niall’s father had passed, but Taog’s had not, and it was his father who shoved both boys until they stood in front of their laird. “What punishment do you give them?” Taog’s father asked. “And make it harsh as can be.”
Donnan folded his arms and glared at the youths, “You are not to speak to each other for a fortnight, nay not even be seen together. There are chores needs tending and come morning, ask Berry what chores you shall have.”
“My cows need milkin’,” said Eimhir.
“And mine,” Gordan added.
Taog was horrified. “Milkin’ is for lasses!”
“Not now, ‘tis not. My daughters could use a rest from it and dinna forget ‘tis twice a day they need milkin’,” said Gordan.
Donnan pointed toward the village. “Go home and make haste.” Instantly, both boys took off running.
“Well, the harm is d
one. Get the ropes and the horses to pull the trees off the road.” Three men nodded and started toward the pasture to catch the horses.
When Berry finally made it into the glen, Moyra was right behind him.
Laird Graham quickly pulled his daughter aside. “Did he agree?”
“Nay,” Moyra answered.
“Did you not offer him a bribe?”
“I did and still he will not have me.”
He took his sorrowful daughter in his arms. “Fear not, I shall talk him into it.”
It took the better part of the next hour to clear the road and as the time was getting late. “You’ve not seen the last of the Grahams,” Laird Graham announced after he got them mounted and started his party down the road. Moyra Graham left the glen without a husband, her father left without a wife, and Fenella left with a smile on her face.
“I need a wife,” said Berry to Donnan, “afore he comes back.”
Cullen simply walked away. Any other time, he would have looked for Annella, but now, she was the last person he wanted to see. She loved another. He knew that now, but how could he ever let her go? What he needed most was solitude and the only place he could have that was in his bedchamber on the third floor of the castle.
AS DONNAN AND HIS WIFE stood on the steps and watched their guests depart, Isabell said, “Mistress Kennedy shall be grateful for any measure of food we can share with them come winter.”
Donnan was amazed. “And her husband’s pride?”
“She has seen starvation before and means to tell him in every possible way, how he shall feel when the children have naught to eat.”
“She is a wise lass.”
“Indeed, she is.”
“Jamie has been good this whole day through,” she said.
“I am pleased to hear that.”
“He is in the Great Hall, playing with the hourglass.”
Donnan drew in a deep breath. “Apparently, I neglected to say ‘tis not a toy.” He turned on his heels and went inside to rescue it before Jamie broke the glass.
THE NEXT DAY, WITH the threat of a rabid animal still on every mind, Cullen again accompanied Annella to the Glenartair Market. He kissed her cheek, helped her put her chair next to Tavis Kennedy’s table, ignored his rival, and then went off to help Kennedys build new cottages. When he got home, he checked his tree starts, considered where he might build a cottage for her, and thought more about raising sheep. Yet, his heart was not in it. When the lads wanted to play futeball, he had no interest in that either. In fact, he had little interest in anything at all and found himself in the forest, holding out a handful of wheat. It took a while, but the red dear inched closer and closer, until it nibbled at his handful.
That made him feel a little better – but not much.
He decided, and not without an intense emotional struggle, that the honorable thing to do was to set her free of any guilt she would suffer having to reject him. Therefore, when evening came, he again rode to the market to escort her home. She looked tired, so he took her empty basket, helped her mount, and then rode beside her until they could turn into the glen. They chatted about her selling all her cheese for a change, about the feast and even laughed about Flannagan’s sheepdogs. Halfway to the castle, Cullen took hold of her reins and stopped both horses.
“Shall we not walk the rest of the way?”
She nodded, and then let him help her down. He handed her the basket, unbridled both horses and turned them loose to find the pasture they loved. He rolled up the bridles and the reins, held them in one hand, and took Annella’s hand with the other.
“Today,” he began, “I considered where to build our cottage.”
“Did you?” she asked. “And what have you decided?”
He paused for a long moment before he answered. “I decided not to build one.”
“Then we are to live in the castle?”
“Annella, I have loved you for as long as I can remember, but why have I not longed to marry you the way a lad in love should?” She looked away, did not answer and he did not expect her to. “You have not demanded it nor have you given me your pledge.”
“I...” she started.
Cullen dropped the reins, let go of her hand and touched the side of her face. He kissed her and as she always did, she accepted his kiss. “I do love you, but not in the manner I should.”
“What are you sayin’?”
“For us, marriage would be a mistake.”
“But ‘tis expected.”
“Not by us.” He laid her head on his chest one last time and closed his eyes. “I ask that you free me from my pledge.”
Her eyes were wide open and it took time for her to grasp what he was saying. “You have found another?”
“Not yet, but someday I shall. Can you not forgive me?”
When a tear rolled down her cheek, she quickly wiped it away. She welcomed the warmth of his embrace and then pulled back to look him in the eye. “I shall try.”
“Go then and be at peace. In time, you shall also find another to love.”
She reached up, kissed his cheek, and touched his face one last time. With nothing more to be said, Annella collected her basket and walked the rest of the way home.
Behind her, Cullen turned his back so she could not see his distress and walked into the forest.
EACH MORNING, CULLEN rode beside Annella to the market, and then went to help the Kennedys. He was amazed at how much he liked building. When the first cottage was complete, he felt an enormous sense of accomplishment. Unfortunately, it did not keep him from constantly thinking of her, and he often wondered if lying to her was the best decision after all. He could have fought for her – he still could, but she did not seem very upset when he set her free. At least one thing was settled in his mind. He would not herd sheep, he would be a builder and a good one at that.
No news came from any of the clans concerning rabid animals, so after three days Cullen stopped riding with Annella. By then, the whole clan knew they had separated, it was all so very hurtful, and when it was time for her to come home, he went into the castle to keep from seeing her.
Work was a good thing. It kept his mind off of her some of the time, but at home in the evenings, his heart still hurt and he spent more time than was normal in his bedchamber. He tried not to, but he watched out the window for her and although he rarely saw her, he saw no other woman that pleased him either. It would just take time, he assured himself – either that or he was going daft.
A week passed and then two, and still his heart was heavy. Isabell looked at him with sad eyes, Flannagan tried, but Cullen failed to enjoy his attempts at humor. Donnan repeatedly asked if he was well. What could he say? He was not well, but there was nothing his brother could do about it.
IT WAS NEARLY TIME to go to supper when Cullen finished checking on his box of tree starts and first noticed her in the glen. Oddly, Annella was carrying a rock that looked a bit too heavy and when she reached a place near the end of the cottages, she dropped it on the ground. It was not the first rock she carried and he wondered what she was up to. It was silly to completely ignore her, he realized, so he went to find out.
Instead, it was Annella who ignored him. She left her pile of rocks, went to the edge of the glen, picked up another rock, and carried it back.
“What might you be doin’?”
She dropped her rock, put both her hands on her hips, and glared at him. “It seems you shall never build us a cottage, so I must.” She turned and started back toward the edge of the glen.
Truly taken aback, it took him a moment to comprehend what she was talking about. By the time he started after her, she turned to face him and put her hand up to stop him.
“Why have you never asked me what I want?” she asked.
Never had he seen her angry and she was not just angry, she was furious. “I...”
“You thought wrong. I have changed my mind.” She spun back around and looked for a rock, but the ones before her we
re too big, so she started into the trees.
“Wait.”
Again she turned to glare at him. “Have I not waited long enough?”
“Changed your mind about what?”
“I dinna set you free of your pledge and I dinna forgive you.”
“You mean to marry me even though...”
“I mean to tell you a thing or two first.” She took a deep breath before she continued. “Cullen MacGreagor, I want a hearth in the wall, not in the middle of the cottage, a hearth with...” she stepped back when he tried to wrap his arms around her. “Dinna you dare touch me.”
“I shall begin buildin’ the cottage in the mornin’.”
She drew in an exasperated breath. “And?”
“And...” for the life of him, he could not guess what more she wanted him to say. “And what?” He tried to hold her again, but she put both hands on his chest and forced him to back up a step.
“You dinna ever see me.”
“Of course I see you. How can I not...”
“You see your brother, you see Flannagan and you even see Jamie, but you dinna see me. Cullen, what is my mother’s name?”
He had to think about that one. “Ah, ‘tis...”
“But you know my father’s name well enough. You live in a world where only lads matter. You dinna see me, you dinna know what I fear, you dinna ask what I want, and unless you want to kiss me, you know not where I am.”
“‘Tis not true, I always know where you are.”
“Just now, I carried ten rocks to the glen afore you noticed.”
“You are wrong, I saw you carry the first rock and all the rocks after, but I...”
“You thought I dinna love you, but you dinna ask me.”
About that, she was right and it made him hang his head.
“Cullen, I love you...truly love you. Do you truly love me?”
“My heart aches for you.”
Beloved Lies, Book 2 Page 18
