by Faith Blum
Jason left the store, but he wasn’t sure his feet ever really touched the ground. Now all he had to do was figure out how to propose to her.
***
Wednesday night, Jason had a hard time concentrating on anything Claire or anyone else said. After supper, the two of them retired to the parlor as usual and Jason sat next to her—something he didn’t usually do. They talked for a while, but Jason couldn’t stand it anymore.
He licked his lips and cleared his throat after a short pause in the conversation. “Would you care to take a walk?”
Claire nodded her head. “I do, actually. It’s raining outside.”
Jason looked at the window. “It is?”
“Yes, silly. It was when you came here, too.”
“Oh.” He swallowed hard. “I guess we can’t, then.”
“I guess not.”
Jason bounced his right knee. “We’ve been courting for four months now. It might be a little fast, but I think we’re in a good place in our relationship.” He cleared his throat again. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you, Claire.” He slid onto one knee in front of her. “Will you marry me?”
Claire covered her mouth with her hands. “Yes.” She let go of her mouth and grinned. “Yes, I will marry you, Jason.”
Jason stood up and Claire threw her arms around his neck. “I love you, too, Jason.”
Jason grinned. “I suppose we should tell your parents.”
Claire let go of his neck and turned around. “Yes, let’s!” She headed for the door. “Can we go to Grandma Beulah’s tomorrow and tell her?”
Jason chuckled. “That is a good idea. How did the canning go, by the way?”
“Wonderfully. Grandma Beulah loved it!”
“Good. Now, let’s go tell your parents.”
14. Coming to Terms
It wasn’t fair. Jason had found someone to marry within six months even after being gone for two years. Jessa had lived here her whole life, had one beau who ended up being a gambling fool, and now had no one. Ewell hadn’t come back after his first try. She didn’t blame him any.
A week after the engagement, Jessa headed to the Hopkins home. She stood outside the door for a while, her heart pounding and her hands sweating. The door swung open and a young girl jumped.
“You startled me,” she said.
“I’m sorry,” Jessa replied. “I came to see Claire.”
The girl smiled. “Of course. She’s inside.”
Jessa walked inside and looked around the dim house. “Claire?”
“In the kitchen,” a voice called. “Come in.”
She made her way to the kitchen and stopped in the doorway.
“Jessa! How good to see you. Sorry I can’t greet you properly right now.”
A hint of a smile tried to make its way onto Jessa’s face. “You are making bread and...quite literally covered in flour.”
Claire’s clear laugh filled the room. “Yes, I am. I can’t say I’m very clean when I cook.”
Jessa raised an eyebrow. “I see.”
“What did you come here for?”
Jessa sat down. “It can wait.”
“I don’t mind doing it now if you don’t.”
Jessa chewed her lower lip. “I guess not. The letter. I...I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I know I’m difficult, and I don’t seem to know how to stop. I’ve tried to do it on my own, but I can’t. I don’t know what to do.”
Claire punched her dough a couple of times and set it aside. “Why aren’t you asking Jason?”
Jessa shrugged. “Jason and I don’t always get along.”
“So I’ve noticed. What do you want to know?”
“How can I be more like you?”
Claire tilted her head. “In what way?”
“You are so calm and sure of yourself. Why?”
“You may not like my answer.”
“I want to know.”
“God. I used to be a very prideful, selfish little girl. But when I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior, I slowly changed to be who I am today.”
“And how can I make God want to save me?”
“You can’t.”
Jessa’s chest clenched. “What?”
Claire chuckled. “You don’t need to do anything to earn salvation. All you need to do is accept His gift. God offers it freely to anyone who asks.”
“Free? Why would He want to help me for free?”
“God does.”
“Why?”
Claire shrugged. “I don’t know. You’d have to ask Him.”
“If I don’t want to?”
“Then you won’t get an answer. And you won’t have the peace you are looking for.”
Jessa’s eyes widened. “How did you know I wanted peace?”
“Look at yourself. It isn’t that hard to guess.”
Claire brushed her hands together in an attempt to get some of the flour off of them. She failed, so went to the hand pump by the sink and washed them in there. Once her hands were clean, she motioned to Jessa to follow her.
She followed slowly, wondering where Claire would bring her. She led Jessa to the main living area where a tall bookshelf made its presence known. Claire walked directly up to it.
“This book tells us all we need to know about peace, God, and why He offers His free gift of salvation.” Claire turned around and held the book out to Jessa.
She took it and read the spine. “The Holy Bible?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve read the Bible before and it’s never helped me.”
Claire smiled. “Have you ever read it believing it could help you?”
Jessa’s stomach clenched. “No.”
“Do you believe it can now?”
“Maybe a little.”
“Come sit here with me and we can read a few verses together.”
Jessa shuffled over to the settee and sat gingerly on the edge, angled slightly toward Claire. Claire took the Bible from her and flipped through it, quickly finding the passage she wanted. She handed the book back to Jessa and pointed to a spot in the middle of the page. “Verse sixteen.”
“‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’”
“God is holy—perfect, but He still loved us enough to send His perfect Son to die for us. He wants us to be in heaven with Him for all of eternity.” She flipped forward in the Bible and pointed to another verse.
Jessa lifted the Bible closer to read it better. “‘For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.’ Let me guess, we’ve all sinned and don’t deserve to be in heaven with God.”
Claire chuckled. “Very good. Do you believe that you have sinned?”
Jessa wrinkled her nose. “I suppose I have. It would be rather arrogant to say you haven’t.”
“Right. And since you’ve sinned, do you know what you deserve?”
“To be forever alone? To watch good things happen to other people while I never have anything good happen to me?”
Claire bit her lip. “Maybe, but you also can’t live with God eternally, either.” She flipped some pages over to find another passage, this time in Hebrews. “Read verse twenty-two.”
Jessa searched the page for the small numbers. “‘And almost all things are by the law purged with blood; and without shedding of blood is no remission.’ What does it mean by that?”
“It means that without Jesus shedding His blood for our sins, we would have no forgiveness for our sins.”
Jessa’s eyes widened. “So we wouldn’t be able to go to heaven?”
“Correct.”
“But how do we get the forgiveness?”
Claire’s smile broadened. “I’m glad you asked.” She went back closer to the beginning of the Bible this time. “Verse twelve.”
Jessa bit her lower lip as she looked for it. “‘But as many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God,
even to them that believe on His name.’ That’s it? All we have to do is receive Jesus?”
“Yes. In Romans six, God says that the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. No good works can get you into heaven, only acceptance of His gift. Would you like that today?”
Jessa took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes, I would.”
***
Jessa approached Jason’s bedroom door with a little bit of fear and knocked hesitantly.
“Come in,” he called.
Jessa turned the knob and entered his room. He sat at his desk writing hurriedly. “Oh. I didn’t know you were busy.”
He turned with a smile. “Never too busy for you, Jessa. Come in and sit down.”
She walked to his bed and perched on the edge of it. “Are you sure you aren’t too busy? I can wait.”
Jason dusted the ink and blew it off. “This can wait, too, and I’d rather talk to you anyway.”
Jessa wrung her hands. “If you’re sure.”
“I am. What’s on your mind?”
She stared at the rug she had made for him five years earlier. “I...I went to see Claire today.”
“Oh?”
“Yes. I wanted to talk to her about why she’s so different from me. She told me everything. She’s really nice.”
A grin slowly spread on his face. “I agree.”
“And very patient.”
“She has to be.” He winked. “After all, she’s marrying me.”
A giggle came up unbidden and she covered her mouth with her hand. “I’m sorry.”
“I meant it as a joke,” Jason said. “You were supposed to laugh. What did you think of what Claire had to say?”
“I believed every word. And prayed to God for His gift.”
Jason leaned forward. “Truly?”
She nodded.
“Praise the Lord!” He came over and hugged her sideways as he sat next to her. “Oh, Jessa, I am happier than words can express.”
“Me, too. And you know what? My anger at Sidney is almost gone. So is my disappointment in men.”
Jason smiled. “Good. Does this mean you’ve stopped swearing off all men?”
Jessa tilted her head. “I think so, but it still hurts a little, what he did to me. Do you know he asked today if he could come courting again? Or at least to be friends?”
“He did?” Jason scowled. “I should go—”
“No, you shouldn’t. I forgave him. But that was before I asked for God’s forgiveness. Should I go back to his house and tell him we can be friends, but only that?”
“Do you really think you should do that?”
Jessa hesitated. “No.”
“Then I wouldn’t unless you ask Father and he says otherwise.”
She nodded. “Thank you for never giving up on me, Jason.”
He squeezed her tightly to him. “You’re welcome.”
Jessa sighed. “Well, I think I’m going to go apologize to Father and Mother about all the awful things I’ve done the last few months.”
“That could take a while,” Jason teased.
“Very funny.”
Jason stood up and took a bow. “Thank you, m’lady.”
“You’re not welcome, kind sir.”
Jessa left before he could playfully slap her. For the first time in years, she felt giddy again. It was wonderful.
15. Jason and Jessa Talk
The next morning after breakfast, Jason looked across the table at Jessa. Her eyes were no longer tumultuous. Had she really done as she said the night before? How could he know for sure?
“Jason?” Jessa’s voice broke into his thoughts.
“Hm?” Jason replied.
She smirked. “Lost in thought? Let me guess; you were thinking about Claire.”
Jason matched her smirk. “Nope. You.”
“Me?”
He nodded.
“Why me?”
“Because of what you said last night.”
Jessa cocked an eyebrow. “Really? Why?”
Jason glanced at his parents, who were ominously quiet. “Because I...I’m afraid it’s a passing phase of yours.”
Jessa pursed her lips. “Me, too.” She rested her hands on the table. “But I feel different—in a good way. I know the feelings could go away, but I also have the desire to change. I’ve never had that desire before.”
Jason’s breathing came easier. “That is good to hear.”
“What kind of change?” Mr. Poler asked.
Jessa chewed her lip. “I want to be less pushy and selfish. And prideful. That’ll be the hardest one.”
Mrs. Poler’s forehead wrinkled. “I know those are good things to change, but what makes right now so different? Does it have something to do with Jason’s judgmental attitude from a couple years ago?”
Jason grimaced. “Yes. I went about things the wrong way back then and I’m sorry.”
“You’ve been forgiven for a while by us,” Mr. Poler said. “That’s why we welcomed you when you came back.”
“Thank you,” Jason said. “Anyway, before I learned how a Christian should really live, I was disparaging of people who didn’t believe my way, but in some ways I’m glad it happened because I met some people who helped me grow a lot in my faith. And I learned to play guitar, too.”
Mr. Poler chuckled. “Isn’t there a Bible verse about that somewhere? I seem to remember my grandmother quoting it a few times.”
Jason stared into space as he thought hard. “Yes, there is. It’s in Romans. Something like ‘Everything works together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purposes.’”
“That’s the one,” Mr. Poler said.
Mrs. Poler cleared her throat. “Now that you aren’t so judgmental about it, what caused this change in you, Jason, and what is causing Jessamine’s desire to change?”
Jessa nearly bounced out of her chair. “Can I tell?”
Jason smiled. “Go ahead.”
“It all started with a letter Jason and Claire wrote to me about my attitude regarding Sidney and the rather extreme position I took about men after his rejection. That’s also when I learned of his gambling problem.
“I wasn’t very happy with either of them, what they said, or what Sidney had done to necessitate the whole fiasco. I didn’t like what Jason and Claire had to tell me about how I could remedy everything, so I ignored everyone, but especially them.
“Then Sidney tried to talk to me, and I knew I needed to do something more drastic to rid myself of these awful feelings, so I went to talk to Claire.
“Claire was really sweet about it. She talked to me about how God loved us so much He sent Jesus to die for us and how we are all sinners and need to accept Jesus’ gift of salvation to get to heaven. I’d never known getting to heaven was free or that God would help me learn to be more like Jesus. I prayed and asked God for His gift and it has been wonderful!”
Jason smiled. “Well said, Jessa.”
Mr. Poler scratched behind his ear. “Doing more good than bad doesn’t count?”
“No,” Jason said. “We should want to do more good than bad once we accept God’s gift, but it doesn’t help to do it before. Like Jessa said, she wants to change the way she used to be. That would be what the Bible calls working out her salvation.
“I also tried to earn God’s love a little more by being rather strict in various things, including the dance hall, and then holding other people to the same standard. When they failed, I made sure they knew they had done so and if they didn’t listen, I wrote them off as lost to their sin.”
Mrs. Poler stood up. “This is all rather deep, but as long as neither of you get pushy this time, I don’t have a problem with this kind of talk. Once in a while. I told Mrs. Hopkins I would go help her with some of the wedding preparations. Jessa, would you like to come with me?”
Jessa jumped up. “Yes, please.”
They left the room and Jason watched his mother’s retreat with a s
inking heart. Father, he prayed, show her the way. He tensed his legs to stand up, but his father’s words stopped him.
“I’ve been watching you carefully since you got back. You were different before you left, but now you are even more different. Is it all really what Jessa talked about?”
“Yes, it is. The only reason I was able to change anything about myself for so long is because God helped me. With God, all things are possible.”
“I will have to think about this more. I’ve been to church inconsistently throughout my life, but I must not have really paid much attention.”
Jason wrinkled his nose. “Or they didn’t teach properly. I’ve been to a few churches that had false teaching about salvation.”
Mr. Poler started. “There are people who do that?”
“Yes. Some do it intentionally. Others do it without knowing they are wrong.”
“I’ll have to look into it. Do you have a suggested place to start reading in the Bible?”
Jason thought through all of his favorite passages about salvation. He unconsciously pulled on his ear and closed his eyes as the names of the books ran through his mind. “I think the book of John would be a good starting point.”
Mr. Poler stood. “Thank you. I think I’ll go start right now.”
Jason nodded as his father left the room. “God,” he whispered, “You are amazing. Without realizing it, Sidney precipitated events so my whole family would start thinking about God. I’ll have to thank him sometime. Maybe I can use it as a witnessing opportunity, too.” He paused. “That’s actually a good idea. Thank You, God!”
Jason stood hurriedly and headed out the door before remembering all the breakfast dishes. Those needed caring for first. Then he could go visit Sidney.
16. Moving
“Jessa!”
Jessa stopped walking, closed her eyes, gritted her teeth, and turned around as she opened her eyes again. “It’s Miss Poler to you, Mr. DeBois.”
Sidney skidded to a halt in front of her and she took a small step backwards. “Sorry. Miss Poler, I beg of you again, can I please come calling?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Have you talked to my father and Jason?”
