by Colt, Shyla
“Too many, Mom.”
Her mother dropped her gaze. “Perhaps.”
“Are you telling me you had no idea what he did to me and Siah on those weekend cleansing trips? That you didn’t see the hunger or exhaustion as he continued to push us past our breaking points?”
“Ian’s been correct about many things. But he’s not infallible,” her mother said, avoiding an answer.
Because he has an inside tip thanks to lamia. “I guess your silence says everything. How do you suppose he managed to do that, Mom?”
“You’re there for the rituals the same as I am. I didn’t come here to fight with you, Joss.”
“Why did you come?” Joss cocked her hip.
“To tell you it’s okay to let go.”
Joss scrunched her nose. “Let go of what?”
“Everything holding you back. Your words have haunted me. You feel responsible for my well-being. That’s not your job.”
“Mom—”
Her mother held up a hand. “No, hear me out. I’m sorry for being blind to your needs. Life knocked me down and carved my heart out with a blunt object. It was easier to hide after that. I fell into the habit of not seeing. We never switched back to our proper roles after that. Not fully. In that, I’ll admit I dropped the ball. I won’t continue to do so. If I am what tethers you here, allow me to be the one to cut the strings.”
Because it’s so simple? “Mom. We’re talking life and death.”
“You know as well as I do, we all pass through this world one day. I always knew you were intended for greater things. I thought I was helping you achieve that. Hearing that I’ve done otherwise guts me. I see the power struggle between you and Isiah. And no, I don’t buy your supposed relationship for one moment. I won’t be a bargaining tool.” Her mother lifted her chin.
“You expect me to walk away and leave you here to fend for yourself? If you think for one second, I could condemn you to death without batting an eyelash, you don’t know me well at all.”
“I do. That’s why I’m here. I’ve dreamt of your father every night since you delivered his message.”
Joss stood up straight. “What did he say?”
“Things I needed to hear,” her mother said elusively.
“I thought we were done hiding things from each other?”
“There are things that should remain between a husband and wife. Yes, you’re twenty-five, but you’re still our child.” The power behind her mother’s words was a warning to drop it. She knew the tone well from her youth.
“Yes, ma’am,” she replied automatically.
Raising her head, her mother nodded. “What do I need to do to make this right?”
“Mom, I’m not sure you can. We can move past this, but I’ll never forget all of the choices you’ve taken away from me.”
“I don’t accept that.”
“Well, you don’t have a choice.” Just like I didn’t.
“Are you trying to hurt me on purpose?” Her voice warbled.
“No. I’m trying to process. Why can’t you understand that?”
“Because this isn’t like you.” Her mother shook her head.
“Yes, it is. This is me, Mother. Not the perfect daughter who hides everything going on behind your back because she doesn’t want to upset you or rock the boat. I’m fighting for my life.”
“No one here is out to kill you, Joss. That’s the whole point of being here.”
Joss’s eyes welled with tears. “And yet, a life that I have no control over would slay me just the same.”
“I can’t watch you die,” her mother croaked.
“Now you know the burden I’ve carried all these years,” Joss said coldly.
Her mother’s jaw dropped.
“You want honesty, here it is. I’m done watching the world go by while I remain in a holding pattern. I don’t blame you for the things I’ve chosen to do, Mom. I didn’t have the full picture, but they were my choices. So, I can accept that. No one forced me to put you first. This is me informing you that time has passed. I hope you’re right about Ian. I really do. I hope he loves and protects you from anything that comes your way.” Her voice cracked. You are not responsible for the actions of others. She chanted the words, trying to believe them. “But I can no longer take ownership over the fallout that might happen.”
“Do you think I wanted you to?” her mother whispered.
“I don’t know anymore,” Joss admitted weakly.
“I’m going to show you how wrong you are about me.” Her mother lifted her chin. “Wait and see.”
“I really hope you do, Mom. At the moment, I’ve got a shift to get ready to work, and my boss is a real stickler about being on time and setting an example.”
Her mother flinched, knowing her boss was Ian. “Okay.” The hitch in her mother’s voice was painful.
Joss turned away, unable to witness the hurt on her face. I’m allowed to feel the way I feel. Protecting her space emotionally and physically was the first step to real independence. At twenty-five, she’d lived for everyone except herself. And now it might be too little too late.
“I’ll let you finish getting ready.” Her mother’s hollow tone nearly brought her to her knees. Steeling herself against her natural reaction to comfort and fix, she reminded herself it was time to separate herself and stand tall on her own. She followed her mother back to the door. No words were spoken as she left. Locking the door, Joss rested her head against the wooden surface.
“You’re distressed.” The sleep laden voice made her smile.
“Mother-daughter drama. Sleep. You should be resting.”
“I should be tending to my mate. As I am.”
“How are you even awake?”
His laughter echoed in her ears. “I told you, little wolf, I’m old.”
Kazimir’s presence receded, and she moved to shower and dress for the day. He was another issue she didn’t have the brain power or physical strength to deal with.
* * *
The bell above the door jangled violently. The door slammed against the wall. Rachel flinched beside her. The teenaged brunette whimpered in the back of her throat. The color left her round face, and her dark blue eyes threatened to bulge from her skull. The stench of fear rolled off her in thick waves. Isiah was in full beast mode. A vein bulged in the side of his forehead, and his nostrils flared. His eyes were narrowed slits locked onto her face. Dressed from head to toe in black, he looked like a dispatcher of death, come to collect a soul.
“Rach. Why don’t you take your break?”
“O-okay, Joss.” She all but ran to the backroom like the devil himself was on her heels. Maybe he is.
“Can I help you, Isiah?” she asked coolly.
He threw his head back and laughed. “Can you help me?”
“No? You just came here to throw a tantrum? Well, it’s a place of business, so I’d suggest you take your meltdown elsewhere.”
He rushed her, getting just inches from her face. “You’d better watch how you speak to me.”
“I’ve done nothing except speak the truth.”
“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”
She swallowed hard. Does he know about Kaz? “You’ll have to be a bit more specific.”
He snarled, leaning farther into her space. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you?”
She forced herself to remain calm. He lived for the response. “Maybe?”
“Stirring up your mother.”
She laughed, dizzy with relief. “You know, not everything is about you, Stark.”
His eyes widened.
“Mothers and daughters fight.”
He shook his head, his brow furrowed. “Not you two.”
“Oh, believe me, we were long overdue.” The words were as bitter as a fresh batch of salt and vinegar chips.
“If you think upsetting her and sending her running to my father for comfort will thwart me in any way … I know you still care about her. You
wouldn’t abandon her so heartlessly.”
“Might I?” She smirked. “Do you know my character well enough to make that statement?”
“You will not renege on your end of our bargain.” His jaw clenched.
“I never said I was. You come in here like a bull who’s seen a red flag because me my mother and I are on the outs? It doesn’t look good for you.”
He tensed. “I want to remind you of everything you have to lose. I will crush anything that stands in my way.”
“And we’re all well aware of it. I don’t need you constantly lording over me like a movie villain.”
He rocked back on his heels like he’d been physically hit. “You’re different.”
“I’m tired.” She sighed. “Why do you have to hold on so tightly to things until you suffocate them?”
“Ruling isn’t so black and white. You’ll learn that.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his peacoat.
“I disagree. Followers don’t need to be bullied and beaten into submission.”
“You’re too gentle. It holds you back.” He shook his head sadly.
“No, it’s what makes us human.”
“We aren’t human, Joss. Maybe you ought to remember that.” The anger flowed from his body little by little and his face smoothed over as his posture grew relaxed.
“We are partially human. No matter how much we connect to the wolf, Isiah. Maybe you’re the one who’s forgotten that.”
His jaw clenched. “You’re starting to make noticeable waves.”
“If you expect me to lead, my position will be beside you, never cowering beneath you.”
He arched a thick brow. “This is you rising to the occasion.”
“You’ve shown me time and time again, weaknesses are open spots left for others to use against us. Perhaps I’m simply preparing myself for what’s to come.”
His lips curled upward. “You’re learning.” He nodded his approval.
“So you know, there are different ways to do things, too.”
He glanced away before meeting her gaze. She angled her body, and they stood like opponents ready for battle. Neither backed down from the other. Strange energy buzzed to life. She pushed at it, and he did the same. The energy recoiled and threw them in opposite directions. Stunned, she stumbled back. What the hell was that?
“What just happened?”
“I don’t know.” Her birthmark tingled. Pulling up her sweater, she gasped at the white glow of the waning moon.
Isiah yanked up his shirt. “Look.” The waxing moon pulsed a dark black against his skin. Joss gasped. “Light and dark. Yin and yang.” He grinned. “This is proof we belong together.
No.
“It’s more than a romantic notion. It’s the feminine and masculine. The two energies that make up a whole.”
“I’m a wolf. I love the chase, Joss.”
An intense sense of wrongness had her swallowing down bile. Things had changed overnight. Because you’ve met your mate.
The idea of another male too close or intimate was abhorrent. Stepping away, she held out her palms. “Stop.”
He moved forward and paused as he hit resistance. Throwing back his head, he chuckled. “Now we have an interesting development.” His eyes glowed amber, and he hummed. He was a hunter who’d caught her scent.
A growl rumbled in her throat, surprising them both.
“Are you going to show me your claws now, she-wolf?”
“We had a deal, remember?” The words extinguished the visible lust in his gaze.
“So we did. Make sure you’re holding up your end of the bargain.”
“I’m not the one threatening the arrangement right now.” She glanced around at the public place pointedly.
Clearing his throat, he straightened.
She stepped forward. “When are we going to try things my way?” She placed her hands on his shoulders. “Everything doesn’t require conquering.” The energies between them flowed smoothly. He gasped. “This is about balance. One cannot bulldoze the other. It’s about meeting in the middle. Can’t you feel that?”
“When have I ever been good at compromise?” he asked softly.
“New leadership means new rules, and developing your own style. You’re not locked into anything.”
He peered down at her. “Do you honestly believe that?”
“I wouldn’t say if it I didn’t.” She squeezed his shoulders. “Maybe you’re right, and we’re meant to do this together.”
“But not romantically?”
She bit her bottom lip. “Do you really care if that aspect is a part of things?”
The jingle of the front door interrupted his response.
A family of three townspeople smiled at them. Mom, Dad, and the tiny tot were adorable and exactly the interruption she needed.
“Welcome,” Joss said, giving them a responding grin. “Is there anything we can help you find?”
“We’re just here to stock up on some of your delicious apple butter.”
“Excellent. Let me know if I can help you in any way.”
“Will do,” the dad said with a nod of his long golden-haired head. The baby’s tiny golden-brown curls were a combination of his slender blonde mama’s and dad.
“We’ll talk more about this tonight.”
“No. I already have plans. I need to do some research.”
He snickered. “Coming from anyone else, I’d think you were lying. Tomorrow, then. Brunch?”
“Fine.”
“I’ll pick you up around eleven.”
“I’ll be ready.”
He kissed her forehead. “I’m hard on you because I care so much. We need to make this work for us.”
I think you have faith in that. She nodded to keep from setting him off once more. Watching him walk away, she closed her eyes and willed herself to keep it together. It was like holding a ticking time bomb she knew would eventually explode.
Chapter Eight
“I think you’ve been sitting here too long.”
She jumped slightly at the sound of the soft baritone. Glancing up at Kazimir, she smiled.
He held up a wicker basket. “I have brought provisions. Check out what you must, and let us steal away together.”
She looked down at the pile of books she’d been pouring over and groaned. Facts about Blackfoot traditions, sacred spaces, and genealogy swam in her mind. Rubbing her weary eyes, she leaned back. The time during her latest cleanse had done one thing right—it’d opened her mind to new venues, and helped her hone in on her meditation. There wasn’t much else to do when you were given little to no food, not enough water to be fully hydrated, and constantly steamed.
“I really shouldn’t.” Her stomach grumbled. Traitor.
Kazimir smirked. “So resistant to being taken care of. I will continue to blame your less than desirable environment.” He closed the books swiftly, careful to mark each one with a slip of paper. His speed stunned her. She wasn’t in the habit of spending quality time with vampires. If she’d been human, she wouldn’t have been able to track it.
Lifting the heavy tombs with ease, he offered his hand. She took it, still adjusting to his warmth as he helped her stand and steered her toward the checkout desk. This close, she couldn’t resist the opportunity to study him. Casually dressed in a pair of dark denim jeans, a white Henley, and a black jacket with large, silver buttons and shoulders tags, he still commanded attention. Her fingers itched to touch the silken black hair that brushed the nape of his neck. He caught her staring, and she looked away, embarrassed.
“You can look all you want. I am.”
She smiled. He had a way with words.
“You can also touch.”
“You are presumptuous, sir.”
“Merely optimistic, beautiful.”
She chuckled quietly. The gray-haired woman in line turned and smiled at them.
Joss elbow him lightly. “You’re going to get me into trouble.”
�
��Oh, I intend to.”
Anticipation made her spine tingle. His devilish voice promised adventures she’d never dreamed of. Colors were more vibrant, scents more potent, and life held infinite possibilities. Spending time with Kazimir felt like flying. It was an addictive freedom. Moving closer, she let her side rest against him. The physical touch set a glow inside of her chest. They stepped forward together, in sync.
He took her away from the darkness that threatened to surround her with nothing but a few words and his steady presence. She drew from his strength and courage. There was no use hiding her insecurities and fear when he already knew them. It allowed them to connect on a deeper level. Coasting on autopilot, she checked out her books, while her brain worked overtime.
They stepped out into the sunshine, and he pulled her to the side of the small stone building. “Enough.”
She blinked. “What?”
Bending, he pressed his lips to hers. She moaned, allowing his tongue entrance. Her eyes drifted shut, and she focused on his rich flavor and masculine scent. He engulfed her in him without trying. Leaning in, she let him take her weight, trusting him to support her. Their tongues, tangled lazily. They parted, and he sighed as she took in the fresh air.
“If you continue to let your thoughts drift, I may become jealous,” he said softly.
“We can’t have that,” she replied breathlessly.
“This is our time now. Everything else will still be waiting for us.”
“How can you set it aside so easily?”
“I’ve lived long enough to learn the hard way; time is a creature to be respected. He waits for no one and steals things away like a thief. I’ve waited centuries to meet you. I won’t squander a second. Because, like you, it’s too precious to waste.” He kissed her temple. “I thought you’d be able to recommend a place to eat away from prying eyes.”
“There’s a park a few towns over.” She led them to her cream-colored SUV and popped the trunk. He packed her things away, and they got inside. Once she was on the road, he twined their fingers and kissed her hand. Pull away. Don’t let him think this is going to be a normal interaction. She didn’t have the heart to listen to the voice of reason screaming at her. The comfort he provided outweighed everything else.
