“I’ve heard; my mum says something similar. So does my counsellor. I mean, I’ve shifted at least one night of the last two full moons and run with some of the pack at camp. I enjoy camp more lately, which is nice. But, I’m still not sure about the shifting.”
“Well, the full moon is next week is it not? You can go back to camp.”
Lee shook his head and scuffed his shoe on the pavement. “Not this month, Mum says I can’t go because of school.”
Charles saw the reason for Lee’s melancholia. “I see; so the good part of the month, camp, will be absent and the...not so good part, shifting, remains.”
“Something like that, yeah.”
They came to the curb of an intersection. Lee pointed to their right, “Well, I’m that way.”
Charles pointed left. “I’m that way.”
“See you later then.” Lee turned away then paused. “Hey... Thanks for listening.”
Charles shrugged. “Any time, I have been through something similar myself.”
Lee waved and Charles found that he had meant what he said. Despite the smell of wolf and the lingering uncertainty Lee exhibited towards him, he found he liked Lee.
He turned for Mary and Arthur’s, trying to take in the most his surroundings had to offer. But, he found that his senses were fluctuating and his vampire self was receding; his human senses taking over once more.
He sighed as he shoved his hands in his pockets.
Perhaps it was for the best.
Chapter Sixteen
L
ee had a successful March full moon, he had turned two nights out of three for the whole night and partially on the third, and was eagerly looking forward to April. His mother, on seeing how well the last full moon went for him, agreed that he could go to wolf camp that month on the proviso that he continue to think positively about the whole ‘being a wolf thing’. Lee thought her terms were acceptable and he had to stop himself from telling her that he was already a lot happier about being a wolf. He didn’t really want to tell them because there was still that lingering aspect of him that was unsure about who he would be on the other side. The prospect was less frightening these days, but the feeling of apprehension remained.
Lee hadn’t talked to Amber much since last camp, but she sounded excited to see him, which sent a thrill through his whole body and warmed areas that didn’t make him blush so much anymore.
He packed haphazardly, not really paying attention to what went into his bag. He threw in a school textbook, looked back at it and realised it was one he didn’t even use that year. He grumbled as he dug out the right one, but couldn’t help smiling as he thought of Amber and of Wolf Camp.
His mum came up to check his bags and he paid little attention to her as she basically unpacked them and repacked them.
“Did you really think you’d need five pairs of board shorts?” she asked. “I didn’t even know you had five pairs of board shorts. And two pairs of underpants? How on Earth was that going to work? Six shirts, well that’s not so bad. No pants though... That would be a right sight, wouldn’t it? One pair of socks,” she sighed. “Lord, Lee... What have you been doing up here? Are you even listening? Lee?”
“Sorry, what? No... I mean yes... What?” Lee looked at her, realising he’d heard her speaking but not what hadn’t heard what she’d actually said.
She sighed again. “Nothing, nothing, just go and have your breakfast and I’ll finish up here.”
He kissed her cheek. “Thanks, Mum.”
She laughed and shooed him out.
Downstairs, Dwight and Chuck were living up to their family’s reputation, wolfing down large plates of bacon and eggs. Lee could also smell the remnants of hash browns, tomatoes and sausages. He looked around and saw there was still plenty of everything keeping warm on the stove. He grabbed himself a large plate and sat at the table.
“Finally harnessing your wolf?” Dwight asked, laughing splotches of egg back onto his plate.
“Sure, why not?” Lee replied, slightly grossed out by the flying egg.
“He’s not doing too badly,” Chuck said to Dwight.
Dwight, for once, looked straight-faced. “I never said he was.” Then all seriousness was gone. “He’s just so scrawny!”
Chuck hid a laugh behind another mouthful.
“Leave him be. You were plenty scrawny before you regulated.”
Lee looked up. “So, you do get bigger?”
Chuck and Dwight exchanged glances. “Sometimes, yeah,” Chuck answered.
“But, not all the time?”
Chuck obviously hesitated. When he spoke, he used his ‘the news is unfortunate’ voice. “Well, it’s just that most wolves are a little bigger to begin with. I know Ben isn’t, and quite a few of the cubs these days seem to be a little skinnier. But, on the whole, that sort of stuff usually sorts itself out while you regulate.”
“You need to be big and strong to survive the harsh life of a wolf,” Dwight agreed. Chuck hit him playfully as Lee’s face fell.
“So, I’m a failure as a wolf?”
“No, not at all!” Their dad walked into the room. “Boys, what have you been saying to Lee?”
“Nothing, Dad,” Lee said, scooping up some more breakfast. “I just overreacted.”
“It’s all right, Lee.” His mum was there now too. “Everyone gets a little hot-headed around the full moon.” She bustled over to the stove. “Now, only two more plates and then we really have to go.”
****
In the car, Lee’s stomach was doing horrible things. On one hand, he was excited about seeing Amber and shifting and Conall’s home brew. But, on the other, he couldn’t stop thinking about what his brothers said, combined with what Conall had told him last camp. He was distinctly in two minds about being a wolf, and it plagued him. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to bulk up, and become agro and horny all the time. It was bad enough being a teenager without the added complication of the wolf’s animalistic instincts kicking in.
He knew most wolves were in control out of full moon times, but there were also some who weren’t. These were the ones who usually stayed away from humanity, lived permanently at the camps or, even more drastically, alone. He didn’t want that sort of future for himself. He wanted to be able to live among people, but he was frightened he would become one of those who couldn’t. And, he thought, if he was that frightened of it, it must be because that was his fate.
When they got to camp, all worry was pushed to the back of his mind. They’d arrived the day before camp officially began this month and it was a lot more chaotic than usual. People were rushing around, setting up the temporary shelters, building the bonfire, and setting up the mess hall. The wolves who lived at camp, like James and Ethan, were no doubt cleaning up their homes, and Conall was undoubtedly getting the month’s lessons ready – not that he really needed to, it was always the same anyway.
“Wilda! Rolf! Boys!” Lee turned to see Ethan coming over to them, arms outstretched and a huge grin on his face.
“Ethan, lovely to see you!” Lee’s mum moved to hug him.
“Ethan” His dad and brothers all said before shaking his hand.
“Lee, I hear you’re doing all right regulating at the moment.”
“It’s going okay, yeah,” Lee said, shaking Ethan’s hand in turn.
“Lee!” Amber was running up to them now. He felt his family stiffen in that way people do when they know something they’re not supposed to know.
“Lee, why don’t you go and hang out with Amber, I’ll take your bags to your dorm,” his mum said, pushing him in the back.
“Um...okay. Ben won’t be here this month, I don’t think. So, they might have put me somewhere else.” Lee had never been to camp without Ben, so he didn’t know what happened to designated dorms when they weren’t fully occupied. He had of course not thought to ask Ben before he left and there was no mobile reception at camp.
�
��No, no,” his mum answered. “Your dorm is your dorm until after you regulate and decide to get a unit.”
“Oh, okay.” Lee stored this piece of information away. He always wondered when a wolf moved. Of course, he’d seen wolves go from dorms to units or family housing, but he’d never been one hundred percent sure what the deciding factor had been, other than they’d all regulated. Some wolves regulated and didn’t move out of their dorms for years.
“Lee!” Amber called again and he turned to meet her, calling a goodbye to his family.
Amber threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek. Lee couldn’t help laughing at the unexpectedness of it.
“What?” she asked.
“I just...wasn’t expecting such a hello.”
“How do you think I act towards the people I sleep with?”
Lee got stuck on the ‘people’ aspect of it, but thought better of pointing it out for fear she’d think he was suggesting she was a whore or a prostitute or something. He was pretty sure that girls frowned upon that kind of thing.
“I didn’t realise we were...like that.”
“Lee, we slept together... That means something.” Amber looked uncertain.
“Of course it does, I know that. I just didn’t know that...you thought so too.”
Amber smiled at him, warmth radiating from her. “Oh, Lee. You’re so adorable.” She linked her arm through his and they wandered off towards the woods.
“So, how have you been?” he asked, not sure now what to say; their easy friendship of before was so much harder – although it was always hard for Lee – given he practically loved her but had thought she had no feelings for him.
“Not too bad, we’ve spent a lot of time here over the past couple of months. Maisie’s been having some trouble at school with the other kids – being teased and things – so Mum and Dad thought it would be good to spend time around people who knew her, help to get her back to her old, carefree self again.”
“Oh, I had no idea, I’m sorry. How’s she feeling?”
“Better, you know how resilient kids are. She’s pretty much already shaken the whole thing off and forgotten it. I don’t know how she’ll be when we get back though.”
“I’m sure she’ll be fine.” He untangled his arm from hers and put it around her shoulder. It fit snugly behind her neck.
“Have you got taller?”
“I was actually thinking the same thing.” They stepped away from each other and Amber looked him up and down. “There is definitely a subtle difference there.”
“A definite subtle difference?” Lee laughed, pulling her to him.
“Well, you know. It’s not a huge difference, but it’s definitely there.” She giggled and leaned up to kiss him. “Mm... Definitely taller. But, how about stronger?” she cocked her head to one side and lifted her eyebrow in question.
Lee took the hint and picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him hard. She finally pulled away breathless.
“Definitely stronger.”
There was little talking after that. Lee pushed Amber up against a tree as she fumbled with the buttons on his pants and he ran his hand up her thigh. She groaned softly as he kissed her neck and she guided him.
It may not have been slow and sensual, but Lee didn’t see any complaints from Amber as they walked back to camp, holding hands.
“So, that was your plan.” He smiled.
“Not at all!” she affected an air of indignation.
He laughed. “I wouldn’t have minded if it was.”
“Why, Lee. You’ve changed.”
Lee stopped short for a moment and Amber, hand still in his, jerked to a halt too. Lee looked back; of course he’d changed. Two or three months ago, he could barely look at Amber without feeling butterflies and getting tongue-tied. Now, his groin warmed and he felt entirely in control. Surely, it was just being comfortable with her... It wasn’t necessarily the wolf.
“Lee?” Amber looked at him.
“Yeah?” He started walking again.
“It’s not a bad thing. I liked shy Lee, but this new...comfortable Lee is good, too.”
He took a deep breath. Of course that was all it was. He was comfortable with her now. He knew whether she liked him or not and where they stood... At least, enough for camp. He smiled and squeezed her hand.
“You’re right.”
Although there was still a nagging sensation that told him she wasn’t.
Chapter Seventeen
C
harles wandered, lost through the streets. He had no real idea where he was, only that he had holed up in the first town he could find before the sun came up again. He spent about a week at his home after he woke up. He had no real idea how long he had been out, but the bodies of his mother and brothers were putrefying.
There had been sunlight outside when he awoke with a blinding headache and a ravenous thirst. He had smelled his family’s bodies as though his nose was right on top of them. He recoiled, remembering the events of that night. He had hugged himself into a corner and cried. He cried for his brothers, he cried for his mother, he cried for his wife and son, and he cried for himself. How was he to live? What was he to do now? And, what was he now?
Once the wracking sobs had subsided, he looked around him. The first thing to do was to bury his family. It was only right. He heaved himself up off the floor and went outside.
But, it burned. It burned so badly.
Charles pulled himself inside again. He had sat and waited for night, when he finally ventured out once more. He buried his family, made them crosses for headstones, and went back inside once more.
He stayed in the house for three days, wondering what to do and growing weaker. If he could not go out in the sun, how was he to move about? The only time he was safe was at night. Where was he guaranteed to get to within one night? He remembered seeing an old map of his father’s once and rummaged around until he found it. It was not exactly to scale or accurate, but it gave a vague notion as to which was the closest town. He saw one, and remembered it taking him half a day to get there once. He could make that in one night, he was sure of it.
So, that was how he had ended up in a back alley of this town. He could not remember its name but found reasonable shelter at a small inn with the little money his mother had stashed away. He fell into the pattern of sleeping all day and roaming all night. He was filled with an incredible hunger that no food or drink would satiate. He drank copious amounts with very little effect and he could eat what they served him, but it tasted only like a faint remnant of what he remembered food to be like.
This night, he wandered in a part of town that he had not been to before. He passed the occasional drunk, or a couple hidden down an alleyway. He looked around, not knowing what to do about his hunger. His money was fast running out and he did not know how he would get more.
A woman stopped him with a smile and a wave. He followed her into an alley, where she stopped, the shadows obscuring her face even to him.
“Want to buy?” she asked.
Charles had no misconceptions as to what she was selling. He knew his money was low, but a sudden, fierce desire came over him.
He took her in his arms and kissed her. She replied and expertly pulled open his trousers then hitched up her skirt. Charles felt and heard her heart beating. He felt out of control as he grasped her by the back of the head, heedless of his trousers around his ankles, and sunk his teeth into her neck. She let out a soft moan, but he did not stop. He felt her slowly go limp in his arms, until her heartbeat faded away entirely and he let her drop. He wiped his mouth and looked at the blood on his hand. He suddenly felt reviled. His stomach was settled, and his hunger was sated, but he hated himself as he looked down on the dead woman.
Quickly, he rifled through her skirts and found her purse. He took it, knowing she no longer needed it and probably had no one to leave it to but her madam. He pulled his trousers u
p and tied them, his hands shaking.
He made his unsteady way back to his inn and sequestered himself in his room. He sat on the floor, shaking and shedding silent tears.
What had he become?
****
Ellie scuffed along the footpath, not caring that her mum would tell her she was ruining her shoes. She hated fighting with Charlie, but she was so angry with him for asking. She was angry that she felt drawn to him. She was angry that Mike kept his distance. She was angry with magic because it was the root of all her problems. She wished it would just go away and let her live her life.
She was supposed to go to Melissa’s to hang out with the girls for a while, but when she looked up she found herself in the little woodland park on the outskirts of town. She looked around, wondering what had brought her here. She knew nature calmed her, it was intrinsic to being a witch.
She looked at the time on her phone. She guessed she probably had a few minutes to sit down and relax before Melissa and the others would start to miss her.
She chose the biggest tree and sat against it. She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth on the back of her eyelids.
“What are you doing?”
She opened her eyes and looked around. She couldn’t see anyone but she was sure she heard someone. She shook her head and tried to relax once more.
“I asked, what are you doing?”
She looked around and found herself face to face with a small black ferret.
“Oh, gods!” she gasped in surprise.
“No, not quite,” it replied, bobbing its head.
“How are you talking to me?” she asked. She knew some witches could talk to animals, but try as she might, it had never been her forte.
“One might ask, how you are hearing me?”
“I...um... Isn’t that the same thing?”
“Not at all. Me talking and you hearing are completely different.” He (as Ellie was sure it was a he) flicked his tail. “I talk to a lot of people and some people talk to me, but not many hear me.”
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