“It’s a start.” He smiled down at her.
She smiled back, and there it was again, that connection. The attraction. Did he feel it too? And if he did, did he realize how impossible it all was?
Or the best solution ever.
She broke the connection reluctantly. It wasn’t that she disliked happy endings. She loved them. Seeing a family go home with a healthy baby was her constant goal, but it didn’t always end up that way. And in her heart she owed it to Jenn to make this right, but was that what she was doing? Or could she be making things wrong out of her own sense of justice?
“Was Valerie over here?”
It wasn’t a casual question, but how could she answer it? She’d been sworn to secrecy by a grieving woman struggling with the roller coaster of infertility treatments that hadn’t gone well so far. For whatever reason, probably because Gina wasn’t available, she’d become a much-needed shoulder that afternoon. “She stopped by and we had coffee. Well, I had coffee. She had water.”
He sent the girls off to the living room. Chloe had finished her carrots. She set her plate near the sink and skipped off to join her sisters. “Did Valerie seem all right?” he asked softly.
She hesitated purposely. She’d promised to keep Valerie’s medical issues to herself, but he was clearly asking for a reason. “No. She’s struggling, but I can’t say more than that, all right?”
His face shadowed. He stared out the window. The dusk-to-dawn light bathed the graveled driveway in pale yellow light. Beyond that, Kyle’s truck sat parked outside the barn, well past time for him to have normally gone home.
Renzo looked from his brother’s truck, back to her. “They’re both in a rough place,” he admitted. “I don’t know why. Kyle isn’t exactly a talker. But I’ve watched several deputies go through broken marriages.”
He thought their marriage was in trouble, a reasonable assumption on his part, and she couldn’t confirm or deny it. That made her feel like a liar.
“I don’t know how to help. I don’t know if there’s any way an outsider can help,” he admitted.
Kyle stepped out of the barn just then. He didn’t look their way. He barely looked up. Chin down, he moved to his truck, as if the last place he wanted to go was home. He got into the truck, started the engine and headed toward the road.
Renzo watched him go, then turned and folded his arms. “But I know what has to be done here to help my parents through this rough time. They need the girls loved and the ranch running smoothly, but once my leave is up, how can I help with all of that while I’m working?” He put up a hand. “You don’t have to answer. It’s a rhetorical question. I know I can’t. No one person could. It will crush my mother if we lose the girls, and it will crush my father if we lose the ranch. I don’t want to make either choice, but Kyle’s head isn’t in the game and once I’m back to work, there won’t be time to dig him out of trouble. What then?”
Her mother bustled through the side porch door just then. Sarah seized the interruption to save herself from tackling a question with no answers. “Temperature’s dropping,” Lindsay said as she came into the kitchen. She spotted the pies on the counter and didn’t hide her surprise. “Sarah, you outdid yourself, those pies are marvelous. I’m impressed.”
“I had some expert advice,” she told her mother with a glance toward Renzo. “The initial pie was an utter failure. Then reenforcements stepped in and helped me see the error of my ways.”
“And we helped!” Kristi slid into the room on sock-clad feet. “See how slippery this floor is? I love it!”
“It’s a great sliding floor,” noted Lindsay. She smiled down at Kristi and palmed her head. “Thank you for helping with the pies. And who broke up all that stuffing bread?” she asked.
“Us.” Kristi leaned into Lindsay’s touch as if she belonged there. The sweetness of the moment gripped Sarah.
Then Kristi stepped away and faced Renzo. “We’re going to see Grandpa tomorrow, aren’t we? We always go see him on special days.”
“And other days,” he reminded her, but he nodded. “First thing in the morning. We can’t stay long. Miss Mortie says he gets tired real quick these days.” He shifted his attention back to Sarah. “Carol Mortimer oversees a lot of in-home patient care in Golden Grove. Mr. Drew was part of her caseload before he was moved to assisted living two years ago.”
“And now he’s in skilled care?” She understood the importance of those terms. The girls’ grandfather was failing. How would they handle losing him on top of everything else?
“We’ll be so good,” Kristi promised.
Renzo looked skeptical as she hurried off to tell the others. “She means well, but she’s making promises she can’t keep,” he noted. “Naomi gets emotional when she visits her grandfather, and Chloe never wants to leave. His growing weakness bothers her. For a tough cookie, she’s got a caregiver’s heart.”
“Another similarity between Chloe and Sarah,” Lindsay noted. “Funny how things pass down, isn’t it?”
“The intricacies of DNA amaze me,” Sarah replied. “More so now that I’ve met my nieces.”
“I need to clean up.” Renzo crossed the room. He still looked tired, but not defeated. Square-shouldered, he seemed determined to balance what couldn’t be balanced and she understood the dilemma. How would she choreograph work, the girls’ schedules, a nanny, a new place to live with room enough for the triplets, and the fact that her parents were across the Sound on an island? Lovely to visit, but not exactly conducive to emergency help if needed. And if she was awarded custody, could she take the girls back to Seattle and not visit their sick grandfather? Of course not. Heart heavy, she bit her lip.
Lindsay looped an arm around Sarah’s shoulders. “Your conundrum is twofold,” she told her in a soft voice. “Saving preemies means constantly monitoring every tiny detail that might throw you a curve,” she continued. “It’s an amazing feat, but life isn’t like that, my love.” She leaned her head against Sarah’s briefly. “Life is full of twists and turns we can’t anticipate, and sometimes we just have to take the ride and see where they lead. There’s no way to plan for every possible outcome. That’s why it’s good to keep the Serenity Prayer close at hand.”
The prayer talked about acceptance and courage and wisdom. Three important aspects of life. “I try to remind myself of that, but you know I don’t like giving up control.”
“I expect that’s part of what’s fueling your reaction, honey,” her mother said softly. “You’ve got three identical girls in the other room, but that’s in looks only. Think of how each of them would react to any given situation, and you can see the problem you’re facing. Maybe it’s time to let go and let God,” Lindsay advised. “Highly intelligent people often think they’ve got complete control over their destiny. They don’t. Sometimes the smarter you are, the tougher that is to accept.”
Sarah’s visit with Valerie exemplified that. As an accomplished corporate executive for one of the Washington fruit conglomerates, the well-educated woman was stymied by what should be easy—the ability to conceive and carry a child. Her education had landed her a great job, but nature had thwarted her on a very basic level. “You make a great point.”
Lindsay squeezed her shoulder lightly. “I generally do. You and your dad love being in charge. It’s not always possible in real life and that’s hard to accept. Not only for you, but for our detective friend, too.”
Renzo’s life had been flipped upside down in multiple ways the day she arrived.
And yet he hadn’t fallen apart. He’d soldiered on, not only dealing with the situation, but inviting her into their home. Their lives. How many people would do that willingly?
Pretty much no one she knew, and she wondered what that said about her. She’d always purposely insulated herself from drama. Maybe from life. Was that because she dealt with life-and-death decisions daily at the
NICU? Or was it self-protection?
“I’m going to read the girls a story.” Lindsay moved toward the broad family room, but on the way she stopped to smell the pies. Then she looked back at Sarah. “If nothing else, you two made a great team today.”
“They’re just pies, Mom.”
“Everything begins somewhere, darling.” She winked. “Why not here? Why not now?”
She knew the reasons why not, but when Renzo came down the stairs a few minutes later, her resolve thinned.
He noted Lindsay and the girls, then crossed to Sarah’s side. “I’m going to get everything chopped up for the stuffing. Then we’ll put it together when we get back from the nursing home tomorrow. Do you want to come, Sarah?” he asked. “Jenn’s dad knows about you. I don’t know how much he’ll remember from our conversation, but I stopped by the other day and brought him up to speed.”
“Should I?” She turned and leaned her back against the countertop while he set celery and onion and apples next to the cutting board. “I don’t want to upset him.”
He directed his full attention to her and held her gaze.
Instant trouble, because she wanted to go on gazing up at him. Watching the pale points of light in his sky blue eyes brighten with sincerity. When Renzo Calloway locked eyes with her, she never had to wonder if his attention was wandering. It wasn’t. The guy focused 100 percent on her, and that simple fact spiked her pulse.
“Your presence wouldn’t upset him. What the agency did was upsetting,” he stressed. “Separating you and Jenn without giving either family a chance to take you both was a horrible decision, but Lanny was a victim, too. And it honestly might give him comfort to meet you,” he added. “He doted on Jenn. She meant the world to him.” His voice deepened. “He was older when they adopted Jenn, and he was there at everything she did, before and after his wife died. Jenn was his world, and when he got sick, she was there for him, too. I think his illness was part of why she decided to start a family.”
“Decided?” Sarah frowned. They’d never talked about why the girls had no father of record.
“The girls were planned,” he told her, and she lifted her brows in surprise. “Jenn was smart but not always patient, and she got tired of waiting for Mr. Right. She said she’d dealt with far too many Mr. Wrongs and she wanted to have a family, so why not be a single mom?” He frowned as he worked on the celery. “She was making decent money as a PA in Wenatchee. No one expected triplets. And no one dreamed what might happen, but here we are. When she found out she was carrying three babies, she drew up her will. Jenn liked being prepared.”
Something else they had in common.
“Things went bad at week thirty-three. By week thirty-four they had to deliver the girls.” He’d picked up the knife to begin chopping, then didn’t. He sighed and set the knife aside. “But then Jenn didn’t make it.”
“Eclampsia.”
Grim, he nodded. “Yes. Then she was gone.”
“And she’d listed your family as guardians for the girls.”
He nodded. “She understood her father’s prognosis, so she asked us about guardianship before she’d had the will done. We said yes.”
Her older sister had dotted her i’s and crossed her t’s to ensure her children’s future, so what right did Sarah have to mess that all up? She’d come to Golden Grove thinking she had every right. Now she wasn’t so sure. “She was thorough.”
“Always. And she loved medicine. Funny how that worked out, isn’t it? That you both went into medicine?” He picked up the knife again and began slicing the celery into long, thin spears. “Not all siblings are alike.”
Was he thinking of himself and Kyle?
She withdrew another knife from the drawer. “I’ll do the apples, okay? Onions make me cry.”
“Deal.” He handed the big peach-toned apple to her.
Her hand closed over the apple. And over his hand.
He looked down at their joined hands. Then he drew his eyes up to hers slowly, as if wondering. His eyes asked a question. A question she longed to answer with a chorus of yeses.
She swallowed hard.
He noticed. And then he smiled.
Oh, that smile!
It didn’t tempt her, it pulled her in, full force, like a storm wind racing across the Sound.
“Renzo! You would love this cartoon so much. It’s got a whole bunch of kids making popcorn for Thanksgiving and they don’t even have one little bit of turkey!” Naomi’s lilting voice brought her to her senses. She pulled back, accepted the apple, then waved it at him. “Do not flirt with me,” she said in a scolding whisper. “Flirting is unacceptable under our terms and conditions.”
“Sarah.” He waited until she glanced up. “We have no terms and conditions. We’re making this up as we go.” He sent her a quick glance of genuine regret. “We also have no clue what the coming months are going to bring, but I’m sure of two things. You have to get back to saving lives in Seattle, and I’ve got to make sure everything stays solid here, with three children’s futures that lie in the balance. In thirty-eight years I’ve never let my parents down. There’s no way I can break that streak now. If things were different—”
“But they’re not,” she told him firmly. “We need to put the girls first. I thought I knew what that meant when I came here. Now I’m second-guessing myself. And we’re surrounded by uncertainties.” His father and the girls’ grandfather were both in dire straits, so how could she tip the score to her advantage and live with herself?
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; they shall walk, and not faint. The beautiful quote from Isaiah had guided her through grueling years of med school and training. She’d had to learn patience and humility to face the rigors of the NICU. “Whatever this is—” she waved a hand between them, and refused to get caught up in his little smile “—we can’t let it get in the way, Renzo.”
“I know.” His smile faded, and she hated that he agreed with her. “For now, let’s just do the best we can for the holidays. The chance to give the girls the true spirit of Christmas over the next few weeks, like my mom would do if she were here. Deal?”
She took a deep breath, then shoulder-bumped him lightly. “Deal.”
Chapter Nine
Renzo took a picture of the girls and sent it to his mother on Thanksgiving morning. On our way to visit Lanny. Then back home to prepare the feast!
Wonderful! she texted back. Renzo, thank you so much for taking charge of all this. I know you hate taking time off. Don’t think I don’t appreciate the sacrifice you’re making.
All good, he texted her, but her words gave him food for thought. It was true, he didn’t like taking time off.
Was he a workaholic?
Kind of.
He enjoyed his days off, but he’d been known to take overtime shifts weekly to fill the department’s needs.
His mother cautioned him about it regularly.
He laughed it off because he loved his work. He was born to be a protector, watching out for others. It suited him. And he’d done his share of dating, but he’d never been really tempted to be more than casual.
Until now. Didn’t it figure that Sarah Brown would be the one, and at the worst possible time?
He parked the SUV in the small parking lot and hit the unlock button. The girls spilled out as Sarah parked two spots down. She’d chosen to drive separately. She used holiday preparations as an excuse, but he sensed her nervousness about meeting Jenn’s adoptive father. Having her own car gave her the option to leave whenever she wanted.
The girls hurried up the sidewalk, carrying construction paper cards while he held a beautiful bouquet of flowers Sarah had ordered for the nursing facility.
Thoughtful.
Kind.
Beautiful.
She drew her scarf around her neck and came closer to him. “It smells like snow.” She was picking a safe topic to chat about. He played along, glancing toward the clouds.
“It won’t stick yet, but it’s definitely in the air.” She’d fallen into step with him, but when he reached for the door, she hesitated. He paused and looked down. “You okay?”
“I don’t want to upset him.”
“You won’t.”
“You can’t know that.” She drew her eyebrows together.
He conceded with a slight shrug. “All he ever wanted was the best for his daughter. Losing his wife was rough, but then losing Jenn hit him hard. I think discovering that the girls have a biological relative actually pleased him. He tires easy, so we won’t stay long.”
She preceded him into the lobby. The girls had surrounded a wheelchair-bound man in a bright, cozy room on their right. Several elderly patients were in the solarium-style sitting area. A couple were playing checkers. Two others were watching the Thanksgiving Day parade on TV, but having the girls descend tended to disrupt any gathering.
The old women exclaimed over them. The men paused their game and laughed at the noisy threesome. Only one aged man scowled at the noisy interruption. He stood up, slapped his newspaper against his leg and shuffled off with his walker, muttering.
Renzo moved forward to make sure the girls didn’t totally overwhelm Lanny. Kristi giggled and stepped to one side.
So did Naomi.
And then Lanny spotted Sarah.
His eyes went wide. His breath caught. He stared, then tried to reach out, but his wasting muscles refused to obey. “My dear.” He whispered the words in a voice that dripped emotion. “You’re Sarah?”
She crossed the last few feet and knelt alongside his chair. “Yes.”
He lay his hands atop hers. His eyes closed briefly, and for a moment Renzo wondered if Sarah had been right in hesitating. Maybe seeing her was too much for Jenn’s dad.
Then he opened his eyes.
Finding Her Christmas Family Page 9
