by Darren Shan
“So, what, you plan to sacrifice everyone who isn’t white? Let the zombies eat them all?”
“Yeah,” he says calmly.
“You’re crazy,” I tell him again. “There won’t be enough of you left to win the war with the undead. You’ll be destroyed.”
“No,” he says. “There are enough of us. You’ve seen our troops here, and there are lots more in other cities and bases around the country. We’re a genuine force, growing all the time as more and more survivors–our kind of survivors–throw their support behind us. This used to be our world, and it always should have been. We’re taking it back.”
“No,” I say. “What you’re doing is turning it into a hellhole.”
“Hell for anyone we don’t like,” Dad smirks. “Heaven for those who are worthy of Heaven.”
“You’re scum,” I whisper, and look away. It pains me that this man is my father. I wish I could rid my body of every last gene that he passed on to me.
“Watch your bloody language,” Dad growls. “I’m your father. I’m due some respect.”
“Not when you behave like this, you don’t.”
Dad clenches his hands angrily. Then he sighs and lets them relax. “I was so hurt when you betrayed me,” he says, returning to what is obviously a sore point. “All the love and care I showered on you, and that was how you repaid me.”
“What about all the times you hit me?” I snap. “The times you used Mum and me as punching bags?”
“It’s a hard world,” he shrugs. “I was trying to toughen you up.”
I laugh sickly. “Well, it worked. Here I am, Dad, an undead killer. I hope you’re proud of me.”
“I am actually,” he says. “Lord Wood told me what you’ve been through. Most people would have crumbled long ago, given what you’ve had to deal with. I regret nothing about the way I brought you up. You’re a warrior, and a lot of that is down to how I raised you.”
“Yeah, well, be careful what you create. If I treated you coldly, it’s your own fault for not teaching me to be more loving.”
“There might be truth in that,” Dad says thoughtfully. “I always adored you, but maybe I should have been more open about my feelings, told you more often that you meant the world to me, that I was only ever cruel because I wanted to be kind, because I feared losing you if you weren’t strong enough to make your own way in the world.”
I shift uneasily on the bench. This is what I always hated most about Dad, the way he could appear reasonable and vulnerable. If he’d been an unfeeling monster all the time, I could have simply loathed him. But right now I feel like I’m in the wrong, even though he’s the racist supremacist.
“How’d you get out?” I ask, trying to steer him on to a different topic.
“It was difficult,” he says, wincing at the memories. “I fought and killed, ran and struggled. I knew I had to get clear of London quickly. I realized the zombies didn’t like the sun. Once night fell, the city would go to hell. I darted home, picked up a few things that I needed, then hit the road on foot.”
“What about Mum?” I ask. “Was she one of the things you needed?”
Dad glares at me, then again acts as if I hadn’t asked about her.
“I made it to the suburbs and holed up before sunset. A lot of people banded together, but I figured that would make them more of a target, so I kept to myself. The screams that first night…” He shudders. “I wanted to creep out and let the bastards kill me, just to escape the screams. I still hear them when I dream. Sometimes when I’m awake too.”
His expression goes distant and there’s a short silence. Despite everything, I feel sorry for him and part of me wishes I could have been there with him to help share the pain.
“I kept walking the next day,” he continues. “I didn’t have a plan. It was total chaos. Nobody knew if we could repel the zombies. We thought it might be the end of the world. I spent a few weeks wandering the countryside, keeping to open fields by day, locking myself into small buildings at night.
“Finally I joined one of the settlements that were springing up, a walled town. By sheer luck it was one of the first Klan-friendly towns. Smarter people than me had seen the opportunity immediately and set up a few whites-only towns where we could gather, recruit and grow strong.”
“Sounds like you had a right jolly time.”
He nods slowly. “I loved it and I won’t pretend otherwise. It was hard, and we went through all kinds of trials, but I saw the seeds of a new society being sown. I came to see the downfall of the old society as something that had to happen. We couldn’t have thinned our ranks the way we needed to if not for the zombies. In a weird way, like I said before, they’ve been a blessing.”
I moan with horror. “You’re unbelievable.”
“Just being honest,” he says. “I always played my cards straight. You knew where you stood with me from day one.”
“Yeah,” I mutter. “And I’ve cursed myself more times than you can imagine for not crawling away from you on day two.”
Dad laughs heartily. “That’s my girl. Always with a quick, cutting comeback. I’ve missed that about you, B. That and a lot of other things.”
“Well, lap it up while you can,” I say sullenly. “You won’t have me for long.”
“What are you talking about?” he frowns.
“Dan-Dan will make short work of me.”
“Lord Wood?” Dad shakes his head. “He’s given me his word that he’ll let you live if you cooperate with us. I know there’s been bad blood between the two of you, but if you join us and work to help us grow even stronger than we already are, he’ll put that behind him and let you be.”
“Bullshit,” I snort. “He’s a child-killing sicko who has it in for me. My days are numbered, and yours will be too if you get in his way.”
“No,” Dad says. “You’ve got him wrong. He’ll leave you alone if you treat him with the respect he deserves. This can be a new start for us. We can be a family again, carry on where we left off, make things right.”
“You’re off your head,” I huff.
“I’m your father,” he thunders. “Watch your tongue.”
“Or what?” I throw back at him.
He starts to get to his feet, hand swinging wide to slap me, old habits kicking in. Then he remembers what I am and stops, crestfallen.
“What’s wrong, Daddy dearest?” I simper. “Oh, that’s right, you can’t beat me up anymore, can you? Unless you want to go get a plank to hammer me over the head with.”
“Don’t say such things,” he croaks, sitting again, looking on the verge of tears.
“Why not?” I shout. “You never gave a damn about me really. You only wanted me around so that you could turn me into a mini version of yourself. You want to start over? You care about family? My arse! You don’t know what that means. What happened to Mum? You haven’t mentioned her. If you’re such a big family man, that’s the first thing you would have told me. Go on, Dad, let me have it. Did you look for her? Did she even cross your mind?”
“Of course she did,” he yells. “The flat was the first place I went after you left me in the lurch. I shouldn’t have gone back. It made more sense to keep running. But I had to search for her. She was my wife. I loved her.”
“And?” I whisper when he doesn’t continue, fearing the worst, sure he’s going to tell me he couldn’t find her or that she was dead when he got there. Instead he shocks me.
“She’s here,” he mumbles.
“What?” I’m not sure I heard him right.
“She’s here,” he says again, “in a room a few corridors farther along.”
“Mum’s here?” I gasp, leaping to my feet, staring at him with eyes almost as wide as Owl Man’s. “Why didn’t you bring her to see me?”
“It’s not that simple,” he says, looking away shiftily.
“Why not?” I growl. Dad sighs and doesn’t answer. “Come on, tell me—why not?” I roar.
He looks up at
me angrily, then spits on the floor and says petulantly, “Because she’s a bloody zombie.”
THREE
For a long time I’m too numb to say anything. When I can speak again, I tell Dad I want to see her. He says he doesn’t think that’s a good idea. I tell him I don’t care what he thinks, that if he doesn’t take me to her, I won’t say another word. I’ll just sit here in silence until they starve me or kill me. When he realizes I’m serious, he says he’ll ask for permission, but he can’t promise anything.
I sit in a cold rage when Dad leaves, head whirring. I’m not sure how to react. My chat with Dad has left me bewildered. Part of me is glad he’s alive, but another part wishes he had died rather than joined the KKK.
He’s a hate-mongering, nasty piece of work, there’s no getting away from that. But he’s still my father. He risked his life (again) to save me today. He’s eager to reconnect. He wants the best for me. How can I truly hate someone who loves me so much?
I get to my feet and march round the room, one lap after another, trying to distract myself by keeping active. I’m sorry now that I didn’t agree to let them free my hands. My arms feel like dead weights behind my back.
Finally the door opens again. But it’s not Dad who steps in this time. It’s Dan-Dan. His loyal crony Coley is with him. The grinning guard in the stylish sunglasses nods at me in a friendly manner, then points a Taser at me.
“If you move, I’ll fry you,” Coley says.
“Yeah, yeah,” I yawn, focusing on the organ grinder rather than the monkey.
“Have you missed me, little one?” Dan-Dan smirks.
“Like crazy,” I sneer. “Come over here, nice and close, so I can kiss you.”
“I think not,” he chuckles, then raises an eyebrow. “I hear you’d like to see your mother.” I glower at him silently. “Well?” he sings when I don’t respond. “Do you want to see her or not?”
“Yeah,” I mumble.
“I’m the one who decides whether she can have visitors,” he says.
“So don’t let me see her,” I sniff. “Like I give a damn.”
“Oh, but I think you do,” he says. “What caring daughter wouldn’t? I’m not a heartless beast, Becky. I don’t want to stand in the way of a touching reunion. But you’ll have to do something for me first.”
“What?” I snap.
Dan-Dan smiles beatifically. “Ask politely.”
I scowl at him. “That’s all? You don’t want me to kill someone or dance on hot coals or tell you all my secrets?”
“Of course not. I simply want you to ask nicely, like a good girl.”
I don’t want to give him the satisfaction. I want to tell him to get stuffed. But I’ll gain nothing if I do that. This is one of those rare occasions where I have to bite my tongue and be diplomatic. That doesn’t come naturally to me, but I can do it when I need to. I think.
“Please let me see my mum,” I growl, the words like nails in my throat.
Dan-Dan glances at Coley. “What do you think?”
“Pathetic,” Coley jeers.
“I agree.” Dan-Dan looks at me again. “You can be sweeter than that, I’m sure.”
I mutter something foul under my breath, then force a sickly smile. “Please let me go and see my mother.”
“That sounded almost human,” he laughs. “But try it again, with more feeling.”
“Please–”
“Lord Wood,” he murmurs.
“Please, Lord Wood,” I say through gritted teeth, “I’d like to visit my mother. Will you let me?”
“Good,” he nods. “I could make you beg, but that’s enough for now. Of course you can visit her. I’ll lead you to her straightaway. See? I can be the most helpful man in the world if you cooperate with me.”
“Thank you,” I croak.
Dan-Dan steps out into the corridor and I follow, Coley just behind me, prodding me with the tip of the Taser. Dan-Dan guides me through a couple of similar corridors, then we come to a door much like the one to my room. Dad is standing outside. He smiles when he sees me.
“I told you she’d respond positively,” he says.
“You did indeed, Todd,” Dan-Dan booms. “I stand corrected, and I’m glad to be wrong in this instance. Open the door and let us pass.”
There’s a key in the lock. Dad turns it and pushes the door open. Dan-Dan enters the room, makes me a wait a moment, then beckons me in. Dad comes too. And Coley, of course.
There’s a steel bed in the middle of the room. Mum is lying spread-eagled on it. Her feet and hands are chained, holding her in place like a pinned insect. She’s naked. There’s a sheet lying on the floor to her left. Dan-Dan tuts, picks it up and covers her with it. “Sorry you had to see that,” he whispers, but by the glint in his eyes I’m sure he’s secretly ecstatic. He might even have come in here in advance and yanked it off her.
I stare at my mother with horror. She’s in good condition. They must keep her fed. Her eyes are brighter than most reviveds’ and her hair hasn’t lost too much of its sheen. There are moss-encrusted scratches down her right arm, and I saw more across her thighs before Dan-Dan covered them. But the bones sticking out of her fingers and toes have been filed down, as have the fangs in her mouth.
“Mum?” I moan, stepping forward into view, hoping against hope that she’ll recognize me and react.
The zombie stares at me, seeing me as one of her own, but only of her own species. She loses interest when she realizes my brain is of no use to her. Instead she focuses on the humans and snarls, straining against the chains, trying to break free.
“When was she last fed?” Dan-Dan asks.
“A few days ago,” Dad says quietly.
“Shall we top her up?” he beams.
“I don’t think we need to right now,” Dad says miserably.
“It would be cruel not to,” Dan-Dan says. “She’s hungry, poor thing. We must treat our guests with all the kindness that we can.”
Dan-Dan nods at Coley. He passes the Taser to Dan-Dan before fetching a bucket from a corner of the room. I catch the scent of fresh brains. Dan-Dan must have had them delivered ahead of our meeting. Coley pulls on heavy-duty gloves and a mask, then picks up a scrap of brain. He leans over my mother’s face and drops the sliver of brain into her mouth, like a bird feeding its chick. She makes a mewling sound and swallows eagerly. Coley drops in more of the gray chunks and she chews mechanically, her features relaxing. She doesn’t struggle to break free anymore. When she’s had enough, Coley steps back and returns the bucket to its corner. He doesn’t remove the gloves or mask.
“How long must we wait?” Dan-Dan asks.
“Less than a minute,” Coley says.
A few seconds later Mum vomits on herself. Most zombies need to stick a finger down their throat to do that. Lacking the use of her hands, Mum must have developed a slicker method of ridding her stomach of waste matter. She goes on vomiting until it’s all been forced up. Then she lies back, smiling softly, sated, covered in her own puke.
Coley hauls across another bucket, this one filled with water. He gets a brush and scrubs her down. The sheet is speckled with vomit. He removes it, balls it up and leaves her lying there, naked again.
“Have you no other sheet to cover her with?” Dan-Dan asks, feigning surprise.
“Not at the moment, my lord,” Coley says, removing his mask and pushing up his sunglasses to wink at me.
“What a pity,” Dan-Dan sighs. He strolls round the bed, studying her. “She was a good-looking woman, wasn’t she?”
I don’t say anything. Neither does Dad. He’s staring at the floor, cheeks red, torn between shame and anger. He knows Dan-Dan is using Mum to hurt me. He doesn’t like it. But there’s nothing he can do. He’s chosen his masters, so he has to bend to their whims.
“How did she end up here?” I ask Dad.
“She’d been turned when I got to the flat,” he says. “She’d eaten the brain of one of our neighbors, so she was docile. I tie
d her up before I left. I figured, if I didn’t, she’d wander off and I’d never be able to find her.”
“Why didn’t you just bash her bloody head open and finish her off?”
He stares at me. “She’s my wife.”
“Was,” I correct him. “She’s a zombie now.”
“So are you,” he notes. “We might be able to cure her, the way you were cured.”
“Impossible,” I snap. “I revitalized because of the vaccine I was given when I was a child. You can’t give her that now—it wouldn’t do anything for her.”
“I know,” he says. “It’s been explained to me. But they might develop another vaccine, one that can restore the thought processes of those who’ve been infected.”
“No way,” I snort. “There’s no hope for a revived like her. It’s cruel, keeping her enslaved like this, where the likes of these disgusting creeps can perv over her.”
“Moi?” Dan-Dan squeals, feigning shock.
“I don’t see it that way,” Dad says. “I returned to the flat when I came back to London. I told my superiors about her and they helped me transport her here.”
“Owl Man’s work,” Dan-Dan says. “I didn’t know about her or your father. He kept them a secret from me.”
“Then he knew that you were here?” I ask Dad.
He nods. “We didn’t talk much. He’s a busy man. But he’d seen me around and he was the one who approved Daisy’s transfer.”
Daisy. I’d almost forgotten Mum’s name.
“I’d like to stay here with her,” I tell them.
“No,” Dan-Dan says.
“Why not?” Dad frowns. “They’d be company for each other. Maybe Daisy will start recollecting things if they spend more time together.”
Dan-Dan cocks his head. “Are you challenging me, Todd?”
Dad flushes. “No, my lord, of course not. I was just expressing an opinion. I’m sorry if I offended you.”
“You didn’t,” Dan-Dan smiles. “But, in answer to your question, we can’t leave your daughter here because I fear she would attack your wife. I’m right, aren’t I, Becky? You’d chew through to her brain, to set her shackled soul free, wouldn’t you?”
