Without You

by Kelly Elliott

  “I thought I was ready to…to…” Her voice cracked. She closed her eyes and slowly opened them. “I thought I was ready to sleep with Zack. I mean, I like him. I really do. Well, we…”

  I grabbed her hand and held it in mine. It was harder than hell to sit here and listen to my sister talk about having sex with someone.

  “We had sex. It wasn’t great or life-changing, and it was not at all like how Lex talks about her first time with you.”

  She smiled slightly as I grinned back at her. My heart was already breaking for her.

  “I thought I wanted it, Will. I thought this might be the final thing that would connect Zack and me…and make me forget about—” A sob escaped her mouth. “Make me forget about Luke.” She began crying but quickly regained her composure.

  My heart was pounding so hard in my chest. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to beat the hell out of Zack for touching my sister or fight Luke for pushing her away like this.

  “When someone started knocking on the door, I quickly jumped up and put on a robe. I wasn’t even thinking that it could be Luke. He hasn’t even looked my way since…”

  I tilted my head. “Since when?”

  She swallowed hard. “Since spring break.” She shook her head as if trying to erase a bad memory. “I opened the door, and he was standing there. He asked to talk to me, and I said it wasn’t a good time, but he…he just wouldn’t take no for an answer. Then, he pushed his way in and saw Zack in my bed. He turned and looked at me, and the look in his eyes…” She dropped her head, and tears began falling. “He looked devastated, broken. He didn’t say a word. He just stared at me, and then he left.”

  “Libby, shit. You and Luke need to sit down and talk.” I wiped her tears away.

  She nodded her head. “In that very moment, I knew I had made a mistake. I knew Luke and I pushing each other away was the cause of all of this.”

  She looked into my eyes. Her eyes were so sad.

  “But he’s slept with other people, Will. He’s been with Abigail this whole year, and he comes in and makes me feel like I’m the bad person.”

  “Libby, sweetheart, Luke hasn’t been with Abigail in months. I don’t even remember the last time Luke went to a party.”

  Her mouth dropped open. Then, she turned her head and stared out the window. “But…Abigail told me…I thought…”

  “Libby, listen, it’s not your fault, okay? You can’t feel guilty. You and Zack are dating. Luke had plenty of chances to tell you how he felt about you. If he wasn’t so afraid of his feelings for you, y’all would have talked it through and stopped playing this cat-and-mouse game.”

  She quickly looked back at me and shook her head. “No, it’s my fault. This is all my fault.”

  I didn’t know why she was saying that. “Libby, Luke has never given you any real reason to think he has feelings for you. This is not your fault.”

  She quickly wiped away her tears. “Where is he? I need to talk to him.”

  I pushed my hand through my hair and stood up. “He, um…he’s gone.”

  She jumped up. “Gone? What do you mean, gone?”

  “He came home, and he was really upset. He said he was heading home. He took his last final earlier today, and…well, he left.”

  Her hands came up to her mouth, and she began crying again.

  I pulled her to me. “Shh…it’s okay, Libby. Let’s just get you all packed up and out of here, and we’ll be home in a few days. You and Luke can talk then.”

  She nodded her head. “Let me splash some cold water on my face, and we can start taking some stuff to your truck. I’m all packed up, except for a few things.”

  I watched my sister slowly make her way to her bathroom. I let out a sigh and sent Lex a text message.

  Me: With Libby. Packing up her stuff. She’s moving into the house. She’s a mess. She and Luke need to have their damn heads smashed together.

  Lex: I know! This summer will be different. Things will get better. I can feel it in my bones!

  Me: I hope you’re right. Talk to ya later, baby.

  Lex: Okay. I love you! Hey, don’t forget that Grace and I are going to a party here. It’s the last party of the year, and we want to say good-bye to a few friends.

  Me: Right. Just be careful.

  Lex: Always! I’ll text you or call you later.

  Libby smiled. “That’s the last of it. My dorm is cleared out. I guess I get first pick of the other rooms!”

  I laughed. “You and Lauren are bunking up, right?”

  She nodded her head. “Yep. I can’t wait. Grace is going to be pissed ’cause I’m picking the room with the balcony!”

  I laughed and sat down on the sofa.

  Libby fell into a chair and let out a sigh. She looked at me and said, “Thank you.”

  I smiled. “Libby, I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. You’re my sister, my life. You and Lex will always be first and foremost in my mind.”

  She went to say something when the front door opened. I looked over and saw Luke walking in.

  He didn’t even bother to look at us. “I fucking forgot my laptop and everything else in my rush earlier. I made it all the way to Austin and had to turn around, and—” He stopped talking when Libby stood up.

  “Luke,” she whispered.

  He stopped walking and looked at her. “What are you doing here?”

  She swallowed hard. “Will helped me move all my stuff in, and I…well, I want to talk to you.”

  For one brief second, it seemed like Luke was relieved.

  Then, he frowned. “We don’t have anything to talk about, Libby.”

  “I think we do, and if—”

  Luke shook his head. “Listen, it was wrong of me to stop by there. It was a mistake. I know you’re happy with Zack, and—”

  Libby took a few steps toward Luke. “If you’ll just let me—”

  Luke held up his hand. “No, Libby. I’m happy for you that you found someone.” He quickly made his way upstairs.

  Libby stood there. I was just about to tell her to go after him when she bolted up the stairs.

  I got up, made my way to the kitchen, and grabbed a root beer. Not two minutes later, Luke was coming down the stairs. He looked at me, and the sadness in his eyes surprised me. I figured Libby had gone up there to talk to him, but here he was, leaving.

  “Luke…dude, where are you going?”

  He stopped and looked at me. “Home. I have no idea after that.” He opened the front door and left.

  I stood there, stunned. I wanted to run upstairs and ask Libby what had happened, but my phone rang. I looked down to see Grace was calling me.

  “Hello?” All I could hear was commotion. “Hello? Grace! Can you hear me?”

  “Will!” she screamed.

  I dropped the root beer and held on to the counter. Something happened. Lex is hurt. Oh God, please let her be okay.

  “Grace…”

  The front door flew open, and Luke looked at me.

  “Get in my fucking truck now. Libby!” Luke yelled out.

  Libby came running down the stairs. “I just got a text from Grace. Something about Lex being taken away in an ambulance?”

  Luke grabbed her and said, “Go get in my truck. We’re going to Austin.”

  I stood there, still on the phone with Grace. All I could hear was Grace’s muffled voice.

  “Grace! Tell me what the fuck is going on.”

  Grace was crying. “I found her, Will. I found her, but he was hitting her. I screamed, and…oh God, Will. Blake was about to…he had Alex. Oh God! He was trying to…when we walked into the room, he was hitting her while she was trying to fight him off. I think he might have given her something. Will…I’m so sorry I didn’t keep an eye on her. We’re on the way to Brackenridge Hospital.”

  “I’m on my way.” I ran out the door and jumped into Luke’s truck.

  He took off like a bolt of lightning. The only things I could hear were Libby crying in t
he backseat and Lex’s voice repeating over and over in my head.

  I love you, Will.

  A Few Hours Earlier

  Chrissie walked up and handed me a bottle of Bud Light. “I’m going to miss you, Alex!” she yelled over the music.

  Chrissie and I had been lab partners in chemistry class. She was a sweet girl, but she was hell-bent on getting into some sorority. She still was crushing on Blake pretty hard as well.

  “I’m going to miss you, too!” I yelled back.

  We were at Chrissie’s brother’s house. The party was mostly frat guys and sorority girls, but Chrissie had begged Grace and me to come since we wouldn’t be back next year.

  I took a drink of the beer and looked around. Grace was talking to some guy who was attempting to make a move on her. She gave him that smile of hers, and I swore he was eating out of the palm of her hand.

  “So, are you excited about A&M next year?” Chrissie asked.

  I took another drink of my beer. I smiled and nodded my head. “I’m really excited. The fact that I get to be with Will just makes it all the more sweeter.”

  Chrissie’s smile faded for a brief second as she looked around, and then she looked back at me. We talked for a bit more about our plans for this summer. I took another sip of beer, and then some guy ran smack into me, causing me to drop the bottle.

  “Shit,” I mumbled.

  “Damn it!” Chrissie said.

  We both bent down and started to clean it up.

  I stood up and felt a little dizzy. I put my hand up to my head. “Shit, I must have stood up too fast.”

  Chrissie smiled slightly at me. “Let me go throw this away. I’ll be right back.”

  I nodded as I glanced back over to Grace. She was still talking to the same guy. She looked my way and winked at me. I giggled and shook my head.

  “So, do you want another beer, Alex?”

  I turned back to look at Chrissie. I was beginning to feel dizzy and a little groggy.

  “Um…no. I guess I drank more than I thought.” I placed my hand to my head. “I’m not feeling very well. I feel a bit dizzy.”

  Chrissie looked around and grabbed my arm. “Let me show you to the bathroom.”

  She pulled me so fast and hard that I almost tripped twice while trying to keep up with her. I looked back to see Grace, but every time my head moved, I got dizzier. Chrissie stopped, and I looked up to see Blake standing there.

  “Blake?” I asked.

  He smiled and looked at Chrissie. I glanced back at her, but the room started spinning.

  “I gave it to her. Now, will you put in a good word for me?” Chrissie asked Blake.

  I looked at Blake as he smiled. The room was spinning faster.

  “I don’t feel right. What’s going on?”

  Blake smiled at me as he picked me up. “Let me take you somewhere private, angel.”

  I attempted to look for Grace, but I began to feel nauseous. “Blake, I think I’m going to be sick.”

  “I’ll make you feel better, angel. Just hold on.”

  I closed my eyes to try to stop the spinning of the room. When I opened my eyes, Chrissie was following us up the stairs.

  “The second bedroom on the right. Blake, are you sure about this? She only had a couple of—”

  Blake stopped and turned to Chrissie. “She belongs to me. Get the hell out of here, Chrissie, if you want me to put in a good word for you with that sorority.”

  She belongs to me? What?

  “Wait…put me down, Blake.”

  Oh God. I feel like I’m going to be sick.

  “Chrissie, please get Grace. I’m not feeling well.”

  Chrissie looked at Blake and then at me.

  “Chrissie, walk away if you want to be in the sorority,” Blake said with anger in his voice.

  I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and it turned my stomach even more.

  Will…

  I shouldn’t have come to this party.

  Will…

  Blake turned, walked through the door, and then shut it. He gently lay me down on the bed and looked at me. I tried to stand up, but I was so dizzy and felt so sick.

  “What? Wh-why am I…I feel sick.”

  Blake began taking his pants off.

  My heartbeat picked up. I swallowed hard and put my hand to my stomach. “Why? What are you doing? I want to leave. I need—”

  I leaned over when I felt like I was going to throw up.

  I feel so tired. I just need to leave.

  “Alex…”

  I closed my eyes in an attempt to gain some control of the situation.

  Will, I need you.

  I took in a few deep breaths. I felt so groggy. What is wrong with me?

  “Alex…”

  Blake’s voice pulled me back into the moment. I turned and looked at him. He wasn’t wearing any pants.

  “No. God, please no. Blake, don’t do this. I don’t want this.”

  “Just calm down, Alex. The drug will set in soon, and you won’t remember a thing, angel.”

  I shook my head and then moaned. The room was still spinning. I pushed myself further away from him as he smiled.

  “That’s it, baby. Let’s get those shorts off now, shall we?”

  I began kicking my legs the best I could. They felt so heavy though.

  I can’t breathe. I need air.

  Will!

  I began crying as I whispered, “Please don’t do this, Blake.”

  He pushed my legs down and held them as he began to unbutton my shorts.

  I closed my eyes.

  Will!

  Oh God, Will, I need you…please.

  I began thinking about the last time Will and I had been together. I was his and only his. Our love was a perfect, untouched love.

  I snapped my eyes open. I was not going to let this happen. I relaxed, which caused Blake to relax his grip on my legs. Blake was saying something about waiting too long to have me.

  I said, “Let me…let me take my own…shorts off.” I could barely talk.

  “That’s what I’m talking about, angel.”

  My head was beginning to hurt more. I lifted my leg and gathered all my strength. Then, I kicked him as hard as I could.

  Blake let out a loud moan and then yelled, “You fucking bitch!”

  I attempted to quickly move and run away, but I was so dizzy and felt so insanely sick.

  Blake grabbed me and threw me back on the bed. The moment his hand came across my face, I let out a scream.

  I closed my eyes. This is not happening to me.

  Will…

  I love you. Our love is forever.

  I opened my eyes again and looked into Blake’s eyes. They were filled with anger.

  “Why the fuck are you not passing the fuck out, you bitch?”

  I was going to fight him with everything I had left in my body. I began hitting him as hard as I could.

  I took a deep breath and screamed out, “Grace!”

  “Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” Blake ripped my shorts open and stuck his hand down my panties.

  I began slapping him, but I felt my energy slowly slipping away.

  “Alex, fucking stop fighting me, you bitch.”

  I was feeling groggier.

  I can’t stop fighting. I won’t stop fighting.

  I won’t let him do this to us, Will.

  I began pushing Blake away from me. His fingers were inside me, and I felt like I wanted to puke. When I pushed him with all my might, he pulled his hand out. Then, I saw Blake balling up his fist, and I braced myself for what was about to happen.

  The bedroom door flew open as Grace screamed out my name.

  I turned to look at her. “Grace…help…me,” I slurred.

  Then, everything went black.

  “Will, slow the hell down, man,” Luke said as he and Libby attempted to keep up with me.

  I walked into the emergency room and frantically looked around. I didn’t see Grace. “Whe
re’s Grace?”

  Luke walked up to the nurses’ station. “Excuse me, ma’am? My cousin, Alex Mathews, was brought in a little bit ago.”

  She looked at a chart and back up at Luke. She glanced over to Libby and me. “Are you all family?”

  Luke nodded his head. “I’m her cousin.”

  She nodded her head. “Your name?”

  “Luke Johnson.”

  “Mr. Johnson, you can go back there. Your sister, Grace, should be there. I believe the doctor will be talking to her shortly.”

  I stepped forward. “What about me?”

  The nurse looked at me with sympathetic eyes. “You are?”

  “Her fiancé, Will Hayes.”

  Libby gasped, and Luke turned and looked at me.

  “Mr. Hayes, I can’t allow you to go back there yet. Give me just a few minutes. Mr. Johnson, please follow me.”

  Luke said, “Fuck, if I had known, I would have had you—”

  I slowly shook my head. “Go. Just find out how she is.”

  I watched as Luke followed the nurse through the double doors. My legs felt like they were going to give out.

  “Will, let’s go sit down, okay?” Libby guided me over to the waiting room. She pulled out her phone. “Colt is almost here. He can’t get a hold of his parents or Mom or Dad. They all went to some ranch in west Texas. They must not have a signal out there. Jeff and Ari are on their way.”

  I nodded my head. “What in the fuck happened, Libby? Grace could hardly talk on the phone.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know. Grace was in a state of panic when she called. She kept saying it was all her fault. I don’t know, Will.”

  We sat in silence until Luke cleared his throat. He was about to start talking when Colt, Lauren, and Taylor ran up. Meagan had sent a text saying she was on her way from Baylor.

  “Where’s Alex? What’s going on?” Colt looked around to each of us.

  Luke put his hand on Colt’s shoulder. “She’s okay, Colt. Take a deep breath, dude, and sit down. I was just with Grace, and the doctor came to talk to us.”

  Colt sat down, and Lauren sat next to him. I couldn’t help but notice that Colt reached for Lauren’s hand when Luke started talking. She held it and wiped a tear away with her other hand.

  “They were at a party. Someone must have given Alex something to drink with Rohypnol in it.”