by KT Strange
Of all my wolves, Finn was the best at talking about his feelings, and sussing out what was going on in my head too. Filling my lungs with a deep breath, I swallowed hard and tried to put into words what was bothering me.
Because it was hard to put it into words. I didn’t want to be like my sister, shackled into a marriage and having no choices of her own. Not that I thought the werewolves were controlling. My guys weren’t like that, mostly. Eli might’ve been a bossy asshole, but he seemed to reserve it for moments when he really needed to throw his weight around. He’d never tried to demand anything of me unless it was something the band needed, and even then our interests were usually aligned. Hell, I couldn’t remember the last time one of us had even tried to use a command on one another, thrusting the weight of our magical selves into our words to force the other person to react, or do whatever it was we wanted them to do.
Finn’s fingers were warm on mine as he squeezed my hand.
“Whatever it is you’re thinking, sweetheart? Whatever it is that’s got you scared, you can tell me,” he promised, his eyes earnest in his handsome face. I knew he was right, too.
Be brave, idiot. This guy? This guy loves you.
“I guess, when a witch gets married, I’m used to it being, well—” I swallowed the nerves down, the anger down. Because, deep inside, I was still mad at my family, mad at what had been expected of me with Creston, how my sister had tried to pressure me into marrying him. How his older brother had implied if I’d stuck around, I’d be wed and bred by now, popping out another baby in the Hailward line. “I just don’t want my life to only be about having kids and being a mom. I mean, it’s not that being a mom is bad, not at all, but I feel like I’ve never been allowed to live, not really, and it’s only been in the last three years of my life that I got out and was free.” Being tied back down was terrifying. The thought felt like a prison sentence.
Finn watched me and gave a slow nod.
“So, you think, if we have pups, kids, if you have ours, that’s it? You’re barefoot and pregnant, and that’s the end of it?” He grimaced at the idea. I nodded, hard.
“I want to work in the music industry. This is what I love, Finn, this is what I always wanted. Finally, I am living my life for me, not according to what my parents want or what’s best for our family name.” My words rushed out of me, the old fears, the feeling of being chained to a life I’d never asked for rising up inside of me. It felt like purging poison, one that I’d been ignoring for a long time. Finn’s eyes were soft and he leaned in, kissing me slow. His lips were warm when he pulled away and he sighed.
“There’s nothing, not us, not starting a family, that’s going to get in the way of you being you.” He looked to the side and smiled wistfully. “With the five of us we can handle any litter of pups anyway. Half the reason we mate as a group like this it to make sure our mama wolves don’t get overwhelmed. Raising little shifters isn’t easy, and you need at least a few extra hands around to keep an eye on them.”
“Litter,” I choked on the word. “Okay, definitely not. That’s not happening. You might be a werewolf, but I’m still a human, and last I checked, humans usually produce only one egg at a time. Twins do not run in my family, so yeah, no, even if baby buggies are in the future, it’s definitely going to be just one.”
Finn laughed and bounced me on his knee again, a smirk on his face.
“So you agree, a baby might be nice.”
My eyes went wide.
“Maybe. In like, ten years. When I’ve done what I wanna do so I can focus on being a mom without feeling like I’m neglecting my kid.” I poked him in the chest. “Besides, I have to look after you guys right now, and you’re a handful as it is. I’m not throwing kids into the mix, not yet.”
Finn huffed out a breath.
“We’re not that bad,” he insisted, leaning in to nuzzle the side of my neck. A rough scrape of his stubble on my skin had me shivering. “But I’m thinking I should show you just what a handful I am.”
“Finn,” I hissed, but he was already working his hands up my shirt again, and with a tug of his fists in the fabric, three of the buttons popped, exposing my skin to the night air and the warmth from the fire.
“Huh,” he said, hand cupping my breast, pulling the soft lace of my bra down, “seems like you’re the one that’s the handful.”
The fire warmed my cheeks as I shivered in his lap, and he bent his head to the slope of my chest, chasing all thoughts of family planning, and other stressful conversational topics, away.
Twenty
Charlie
Nothing makes you feel like a bigger idiot than watching your best-friend and pack-mate make love to your girl under the moonlight, especially when you know you could have that too if you’d just calm the fuck down and start talking.
It wasn’t in my nature to be this irrational, but I’d been having nightmares for days, seeing Darcy getting ripped to shreds by hunters after the rest of us were dead, gone, and unable to protect her. Sleeping didn’t bring me any peace, and the cut on my face from our last run-in still throbbed every so often. The only solution was to take myself off into the forest and try to get some solitude.
To try and find some answers to our problems. We were fucked if we ran. We were fucked if we made a stand. There was no good outcome for what was left of Phoenix pack, or our mate. The sense of doom was dragging me down.
So there I was, having pissed off my entire pack, and the girl I was in love with, watching from the edge of the trees as she rocked in Finn's lap. The moonlight flooded down over the bare skin of her back, her curling hair wild over her shoulders. She wasn't quite naked, not entirely. Her jeans were on the gravel, Finn's own pants down around his ankles, and the flannel of his shirt that she wore slipping down her arms hid the swell of her ass as it fluttered down over his knees.
I knew what he was doing though, her feet curled over his calves, her back arching as he thrust up into her in a slow, steady rocking motion that had her gasps breaking through the clear night air. He lifted one of her hands to his mouth, kissing gently in the center of her palm. His gaze was stuck on her, his lips moving along the inside of her arm. The noises she was making kept rising in pitch every time he'd give an especially hard jerk of his hips.
"Touch yourself for me doll," he encouraged her, guiding her hand down between them. Never in my life had I ever wanted to be anyone but myself except in that moment. I'd help her slip her fingers over the soft skin of her pussy. I'd help her find her clit, use her own fingers to stroke her there until her mouth dropped open and she begged me to stop or let her come. She'd squeeze tight around my cock—fuck. I was so hard in my jeans.
Finn's blond head dipped, disappearing in front of her and her broken cry split the night. He had to be mouthing at her breasts, taking her pebbled nipples between his teeth. My fingers bit into the rough bark of the pine tree next to me as I contained a soft growl. My instincts demanded I push him away, take her for myself, bury my teeth in her neck and fuck her until she only moaned my name. Instincts were a foolish thing, and never took into account how one wolf was more deserving of a shared mate than another, though.
"Finn! Please," she sobbed, tugging at his hair. He kissed her, soothing her, his hands wrapping around her hips and holding her up off of him. The muscles in his arms flexed and he growled, fucking up into her harder until she was shuddering through a hard orgasm that had her crying out into his mouth.
And there I stood, in the shadows, like a fucking idiot. With one last loud growl, Finn pulled her in tight, his hands running up and down her back. She shivered in his lap, legs still squeezing his hips. His lips moved, and I looked away. I didn't want to see him tell her he loved her. It could've, should've been me, or at least, I could be waiting in the cabin for them both, take Darcy into my arms to soothe her chilled body, roll her under me and make love to her, the scent of our pack all over her skin.
Finn lifted Darcy up, setting her on unsteady legs, and
pulled the flannel shirt around her shoulders, giving her a slow kiss as he stood. She tipped her head up to meet him, standing on her toes.
I closed my eyes and let them have their moment, only opening them when the porch creaked and they disappeared into the cabin. Her boots and jeans were still by the fire, which had died down to the embers. Stepping past it, I grabbed her shoes off the ground before the dew soaked them.
The door opened, and I looked up.
Darcy stood there, silhouetted by light from inside the cabin, and I had to remind myself to breathe. She broke my heart every time we fought, the hurt in her eyes, and I was ready to lay down and stop. I needed to stop. It was time to tell her, everything. Maybe she'd understand what was going on in my head and help me find a way back from it.
"Hey," she said, coming to the edge of the porch. Her legs were distracting, the curves of them, and Finn's shirt was barely buttoned up her front.
"You forgot some things."
A wry smile crossed her lips and she gazed at the ground.
"Well..."
"Don't feel bad," I said, wanting to stop her from making excuses. She never had to make excuses for being with one of us. Especially not to me.
"Thanks," she whispered, stepping down off the edge of the porch onto the thick grass. A few paces took me right to her, a simple hand-span or two between us. "You okay, Charlie?" The worry was etched in the lines between her eyes when her brow furrowed. "I know it's been—uh it's been kinda rough these last few days."
"Nothing new, really. I should be used to it by now,” I said. A stray curl was flicking over the curve of her cheek. Pushing it behind her ear, I let my fingers linger there, my thumb stroking along the line of her jaw.
"I hate seeing you hurt, Charlie," her voice was husky, and when she glanced up at me, there were tears clinging to her lower lashes. "It feels like we're falling to pieces."
"I'm not going to let that happen," I insisted. "Nothing is going to happen to us."
"Well, when you keep threatening to bail, it feels like it's the end," her voice wavered. "I know I've done it to you guys. I know I ran, but you have to know, I'm never going to do that again. Not now especially, since seeing you walk away? It breaks my heart every time."
Shit. Well, that wasn't anything I didn't know. We were in deep, the intensity of a pack that was slowly connecting with its mate winding us together, and me pulling away? It was going to drive her crazy. I needed to make it better.
"I promise that stops now. Is Finn waiting on you?" The door to the cabin was closed, the lights glowing in the windows. He'd be sleepy, waiting for our mate to bed down with him in the middle of the mattresses. I know I would be if I were him.
"He'll keep, I think he knew you were out here when we were..." Her cheeks bloomed with color, the prettiest thing I'd seen in awhile. "Can I have my jeans? It's cold." I passed them to her and she pulled them up her legs, tucking her toes into her boots with a sigh. "Let's poke up the fire. Ace and Cash should be back soon with Frank."
A few logs and some more kindling brought the flames back to life, and we sat with our backs to the forest, watching the fire lick at the air. The moon would set over the cabin soon, and she wanted to watch it.
Darcy sighed, making herself comfortable on a stump right next to mine. Her hand reached out, and I took it, our fingers entwining. With her head tucked on my shoulder, we sat in the quiet.
"I don't know where to start," I admitted after a long minute of thinking on how to be upfront about the worst parts of my memories.
"Well, you could begin on this hangup you have about running, which like, I gotta admit it was pretty funny to watch you say you didn't want to run as you were walking away from us."
"Funny ha-ha?"
"Funny I-wanted-to-punch-you."
"Probably deserved it."
"No, Charlie." She turned to smile at me, and tilted her head up, kissing me. My eyes closed and I sighed, leaning into it. Warmth from a new source other than the fire spread through my body. My arm snuck around her waist and tugged her in close. Her fingers traced over my cheek, threading through my hair so she could cup the back of my neck.
We broke apart, only so I could kiss her temple, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair, and the crisp layer of her powers that seemed to grow stronger on her every day.
"The only thing you deserve right now is a bit of love," she said. "I think you're deficient in vitamin L."
I laughed.
"Wow," I said. "That's cheeseball even for you." She gave my shoulder a small shove, but a grin played on her lips.
"Whatever, dickbag, it made you laugh."
"Yeah, yeah, it's still terrible." I hugged her tight into my side, lacing my fingers with hers again.
"See this is nice. This, you not fighting and being an idiot? It's so great. We could always have this if you unbent and told me what was wrong." Her cold nose poked into the side of my neck and I flinched.
"You're chilled."
"Well add more logs on the fire, then." She pressed her cold nose against my collarbone where the 'v' of my shirt draped over it.
"Alright, alright, Elsa." I got to my feet and went to the wood pile. When I glanced over my shoulder, Darcy was glaring at me.
"I am not a Disney princess," she said. A chuckle rolled out of my chest as I grabbed another log. It was heavy and thick, and really should have been cut down, but the other wood was too wet. I hauled it over to the fire and put it down near the edge, so the flames could slowly consume it.
"I thought Elsa was a queen."
Darcy's eyebrows hiked up.
"I never knew you were a Disney fan," she commented.
"Maybe a little." I sat back down beside her and she snuggled into my side. "Guess I'm a sucker for a happy ending."
She smiled, her eyelashes dusting her cheeks.
"Yeah? Maybe that's what you should ask for, for Christmas."
"Oh yeah? You think Santa is going to bring me a happy ending? That's kinda... yeah, I'm not sure I'm into that," I said, watching her lips press together as her eyes went wide.
"That is not what I meant." She gave me another shove, this one with more push. I caught her hand and tugged her close.
"I know. But yeah, no, no happy endings from a big, chubby bearded elf. Not one of my kinks." I watched the fire as it slowly began to devour the large log, flames climbing up the side of it. The warmth sank into my bones, and Darcy relaxed against me.
"You're really good at avoiding the tough conversations." She poked me in the chest with one finger and then sighed. "I guess I am too. What's been weighing on your mind?"
I let my eyes shut. Starting at the beginning would be good.
"I—” A loud crack-pop cut me off. Heat flared up in front of me.
"Charlie," Darcy's voice panicked and my eyes flickered open. The log flared up, spearing flames into the sky. I dragged Darcy back, off the stumps we were sitting on and we landed in the grass beyond the circle of gravel. I was breathing hard, the sudden heat startling me.
"Shit, that log just half-exploded." I sat up. The log was split in half, burning merrily now that the flames had died back down. Embers floated in the air, winking and dying out. Darcy got to her knees, brushing dirt and grass off of her.
"It got me," she said, holding her hand out. A small burn mark marred the back of her hand, where a hot ember had landed and instantly blistered her skin.
"Does it hurt?"
"Stings a little but I'm okay." She got to her feet and wrinkled her nose. "Feels like we keep getting interrupted. Maybe we should douse the fire and go insi—”
Crack-FOOM!
Fire erupted from the pit, thirty feet in the air, a solid column of it. Darcy toppled forward as a wave of heat fell over us, shoving us both to the ground hard. It was so hot it grabbed the air right from my lungs. I wrapped an arm around her and rolled her over, underneath me. The roar of flames didn't die down like before, and in an instant I had grabbed Darcy up against me
, and was half-carrying, half-dragging her to the creek.
We splashed into it, the air all around us turned baking-hot as trees behind us kept exploding into pillars of fire. I tripped into the cold water, on hidden rocks in the dark, and went down, taking Darcy with me. Frigid liquid hit me like a punch to the gut, and I clung to her tight.
Darcy made a shrill, hysterical noise and lifted one shaking hand out of the water. I blinked creek-water out of my eyes and stared as the fire leapt through the air, lighting up along the edge of the porch roof.
I didn't have time to open my mouth to cry out as the entire cabin roof went up in flame.
Twenty-One
Finn
You never want your last living memory to be making love to your girl out under the stars. No, as nice as that’d be, you want the last one to be you holding her close, curled around her with your pack-mates nearby. So as I was drowsing, eyes closed, the sounds of Eli moving around the front of the cabin, I tried to stay awake until Darcy came back in and the rest of the guys came home.
The flash of light and heat coming from the main living area of the cabin, and Eli’s yell, ruined all those plans. I stumbled to my feet, I ran to the door, eyes wide at the sight in front of me.
“Finn!” The boiler that had been warming our cabin had fire sputtering from the joins in it’s chimney pipe, and flaring out the grate. Smoke was filling the room. In three paces, Eli had crossed the room to me, grabbing me by the arm. Without another word, he dragged me to the door. His fingers grazed the handle when it blew inward, hot air knocking us both back. My head hit the ground, sparks flying in my vision that had nothing to do with the fire, and I rolled over, nausea rising in my throat. My body stiffened and I vomited hard, pain exploding in my head. My twin’s arms wrapped around my waist and he hauled me up like a rag-doll. My throat closed and I coughed, gasping for air as smoke billowed around us.
