I shrug. “My mom loves sixties music. Used to have that shit blaring all over the house when I was little.”
She gives me a little giggle. “Let’s go home, superstar. I have a reward for your most excellent play.”
“Yessss,” I blurt out. Yes to every single thing she wants to give me. And yes to her. “Here’s to my most excellent play.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Sue-Ann
A month ago, I couldn’t have dreamed up the turmoil currently swirling inside my brain. And I have only Milo Adamski and his need to help anyone and everyone to blame.
Prior to taking on my sexy-as-hell intern, my life was simple. I worked at Sue-Ann’s, I spent one night a week with Jules, I spent most Sundays with my folks, and I eschewed dating in favor of building my business.
And the only time that bothered me was in my lonely bed at night.
I’ve never been the kind of girl who needed a man by my side to feel whole. I’m the kind of girl who values my independence and career more than much else. But now my hard-won freedom feels more like chains.
I still love what I do—my customers and buying new items for the boutique. But the part where I have a serious relationship with a man almost a decade younger than me? That’s something I still think about a bit too much.
But the thought of letting him go hurts more than it should. How do you let go of a man who makes you feel like you could conquer the world? Who actually admires and appreciates the qualities that other men have found annoying? He’s been inside me—physically and emotionally—and I’m never going to be the same.
As I glance around the boutique, I see Max everywhere I look. The way his muscles bunched up whenever he emptied the recycle. The way that cocky smirk would split his face and he’d flex whenever he walked by the full-length mirror outside the dressing rooms. The way his compelling blue eyes would follow me as I polished the glass cases or rearranged the t-shirts on the front table. The easy way he sought things out to do that are helpful without being asked.
And now I can’t help but see him in a different light. He’s not the man I thought he was when the bell above the door jingled and he waltzed in here. He’s more than chiseled muscles and thick, spiky hair and azure eyes. He’s kind and smart and soft. He loves hard and deep, whether it’s his mom or his siblings or even Meatball.
Could he ever love me like that?
And I misjudged him.
I was wrong.
And as guilt seeps in, I realize that I’m crazy in love with a man I still don’t know if I can have in the way I truly want, or if it’s even possible.
I let out a sigh and tinker with some bangles on a revolving rack. Gold with gold. Silver with silver. Ever since I’ve been a boutique owner, organization has become an obsession from my canned goods to the bills in my wallet. Keeping things tidy and looking stellar soothes me and right now, I can use an anxiety buster.
Just as I’m considering opening up a new shipment of denim, my phone lights up with about a hundred notifications. It pings and pings like a high-pitched symphony, every social media app I have catching fire. My heart sings because the last time that happened, the local television station, WDIO, did a brief story about Sue-Ann’s and how it’s rated number one amongst the local high school girls for formal dresses.
With the holiday season fast approaching, dollar signs blink in front of my eyes, and I grab my phone and start scrolling.
And my heart sinks.
My stomach plummets to my ballet flats.
Those dollar signs turn to stars as I inhale a ragged breath.
CARIBOU PLAYER AND HOMETOWN HERO, MAX MONROE, INVOLVED IN SEX TAPE SCANDAL
Oh, my fucking God! Someone taped us in the alley outside Grandma’s! Or outside the falls at Stonehurst! I picture my business going up in flames along with my hard-earned reputation as a good girl even as my heart shatters into a million pieces. I picture my mom and her look of horror. How could this happen? I’m not the kind of woman who gives head outside in the open air. My cheeks flush with a heat so blazing I have to sit down.
Because I’ve been acting out of character ever since Max Monroe first grinned that cocky smirk at me.
I click on the link which takes me to the webpage of the local gossip rag, courtesy of Jessie Glynn. I click and I click, but I don’t really learn anything more than the basics. My name isn’t mentioned.
Yet.
Heart throbbing, my eyes scan the web. I have to see this tape. My fingers furiously type until Google screams for mercy and I scroll until I see something that might be it. Nope. As I exhale a ragged breath, I hit the video tab. Sure enough, there it is.
For a second, I just stare with the phone trembling in my hands. Then with my heart in my throat, I click on the link and shut my eyes. Moans and rapid breathing meet my ears and I cringe. The video is shaky and grainy, but I’d recognize every plane of that body anywhere.
“You’re so damn beautiful, babe,” Max says on a groan. “So perfect. I love seeing you like this.”
I suck in a breath.
I wait for my lust-filled voice to answer him.
But it doesn’t.
I open one eye a sliver.
And I put my head between my legs.
A woman dangles on the edge of the bed with her legs open as Max pounds into her.
And it’s not me.
He called her babe. He used the exact same words he used on you, Sue-Ann. You’re not special. You never were.
You were duped because you’re just a fuck to him.
And that… that’s even worse than if I’d been his co-star in this damn tape.
Because instead of my business and my reputation in tatters, it’s my heart.
I try to calm my racing pulse and my rapid pants before I hyperventilate and pass out. No one ever wants to see the man she cares about balls deep in a random chick on the internet. The vision of Max having sex with someone else—saying those things to someone else can never be unseen and unheard. As I inhale for precious moments and count to ten, the bell jingles.
My head snaps up. I just can’t right now. There’s no way I can service a customer professionally in my current state. Before I know it, the newcomer has her arms wrapped around me as the first tear falls and I break apart.
“It’s okay, sweetie. I’m here. And if anyone knows how this feels, it’s me. Remember that damn billboard courtesy of Jessie and Heather? It’s going to be all right, I promise. This could all just be a misunderstanding.”
Between heaving breaths and sobs, I stammer out, “H-how i-is Max f-fucking a-another woman ever going to be okay?”
She clucks her tongue. “I’m not sure. But all I know is that jumping the gun is never wise. You have to talk to him and hear his side of the story. Remember when everyone and their uncle thought Adam was doping? Complicated things are rarely as they seem. And this seems really complicated. Like who is she and how did this tape get out?”
I hang on to my best friend for dear life as the waves of emotion take me out of the game. I can’t speak again, so I just point to the front door. Jules walks over and flips the sign to CLOSED and then comes back and envelops me in her support again. We rock and cry together until I run out of tears.
Once I calm down enough so I can get some words out, I say, “Did you watch it?”
“Only long enough to realize you weren’t starring in it like I thought when I first saw those headlines. Because if you had been, I would have been on the phone to my lawyer so fast with a cease and desist and a lawsuit, Jessie’s head would have been spinning like a magician’s plate.”
I tamp down a sniffle and grab a Kleenex from the counter behind me to dab at my eyes. “I hate her.”
“In her defense, it’s all over Duluth. Every single media outlet picked it up. I think she had to go with it just like everybody else. Unfortunately, the Caribou are news up here. Good and bad. It’s tough for them to catch a break with the press. I’m worried about what this will do to Max�
��s chances of getting picked up for another season. And he’s been playing so well lately, I thought it was a sure thing that he’d get signed to a multi-year deal.”
Jules walks over to the tea and coffee bar and pulls down the tin with organic chamomile. If she thinks that’s going to work, she can guess again. Only a bottle of wine and a Xanax could calm me down in this moment. I feel like a woman drowning and instead of a life ring, my rescuers toss me an anvil.
The moment Julia pours the hot water over the leaves, my phone rings. When I glance down, I see the cocky grin that I used to love so much, his Caribou hat covering his spiky hair. My mind drifts back to that day—the day of the Amazing Race when I shot his contact pic for my iPhone.
Running together.
Touching.
Connecting.
Trusting.
A team.
Until he went and blew everything sky-high for some cheap pussy.
And he sees you as cheap pussy too. Just another notch on his stick. He’s probably laughing his ass off at you right now and he called to rub it in.
I send his call to voicemail because I’m in no condition to talk to him right now. I wish I hadn’t watched him with her. Like if I hadn’t, maybe everything wouldn’t have to fall apart. And now… if I hear his voice, I’ll become a human puddle again and he’ll know how much he hurt me.
And he can’t ever know that I love him.
Scratch that—loved him.
I made a colossal mistake opening my heart to a man who didn’t fit me this time and no way in hell am I ever doing it again. I’m going to become a spinster with Catrick.
And if I get lonely, I’ll just get more cats.
Julia walks over and hands me the steaming mug of tea. I hold it in my hands and blow on it. I can’t even think about ingesting something right now because my stomach has twisted itself into a tight knot that I can’t even begin to unwind.
I caught feelings for the guy who isn’t relationship material. And no matter how many times I try to squeeze the square peg into the round hole, it’s never going to fit.
Julia’s forehead creases into a series of lines. “Are you okay, Sue-Ann? You look really pale. I don’t want to leave you here alone.”
I shake my head. “No way. I know Charlie is teething. But I really appreciate you coming by and keeping me together. At least for the moment.”
Jules leans in for one more hug. “Where else would I be? When my best friend needs me, I’m there. You’d do the same for me. In fact, you have. Many times. We’re going to get through this.”
“I guess I thought once I hit thirty there was some shit I’d never have to deal with again. Like the police breaking up a kegger at the Wilson farm while we disburse into the corn, screaming and falling. My face breaking out right before senior photos. The wrong guy asking me to homecoming in college. And sex tapes.”
“Yeah, that’s like a rash thing you do in the heat of the moment before you understand the repercussions. Once that shit gets widely distributed on the internet, it never dies, and it can’t be permanently deleted. I still wonder how it got out.”
She offers me her hand, trying to look like everything is normal when it’s anything but. “Me too, but I’m sure he’ll tell me once I get it together enough not to cry in front of him.”
Jules slides her soft palm into mine and I hang on for dear life. “Maybe you should cry in front of him. He should know how much this hurt you. He shouldn’t get off scot-free here. Hear him out, Sue-Ann, but don’t let the man off the hook.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Max
I slam the phone down as a stream of curses split the air. She didn’t pick up. She’s not answering the phone, her voicemails, her IMs, nothing. I’ve gone over my messages line by line and word by word hundreds of times, trying to figure out if I said anything that would cause her to cut me off at the knees. And I almost call the store. But I put that off, no matter how hard I want to explain. She’s telling me in no uncertain terms that she’s not ready to talk to me, so I have to respect that and allow her that space. But it drives me nuts to think that she’s hating my guts when that’s not it at all.
Sure, there was a sex tape. And it got out. But it’s not what she thinks.
I don’t deserve all the negative emotions she feels toward me right now.
Maybe you do.
I push that pesky thought to the side and dial Blaine instead. Maybe he’ll read me the riot act, but maybe he’ll give me some advice without riding my ass too hard. When someone has screwed up, they’re usually maddest at themselves, so they don’t need anyone else’s anger and judgment making them feel even more wretched.
“I just saw my friend’s cock on the internet. I might never recover.”
“You shower next to me almost every day, dipshit.”
“Yeah, but I’m not looking, you know?”
“Then why were you looking today?”
“Because your sex tape is like a bad car accident, dude. Invite a clown—expect a circus. I just couldn’t look away and now I can’t unsee that shit. Like my eyes still hurt. Have you heard from Maddy yet? She had to have done this, although I wonder why she’d want millions of people to see her pussy.”
“Nah, I’d be surprised if she called me, but I’d bet my Caribou contract you’re right. She promised me all the copies were destroyed. I should have watched her do it. I won’t make that mistake again.”
“What mistake?”
“Trusting a motherfucking woman with anything important.” The words are a distasteful lie I force from my lips. I’m cracked in half. Destroyed. If Sue-Ann called me right now, I’d fall back into her waiting arms and thank my lucky stars I’m allowed a second chance.
But that’s not going to happen because she won’t even talk to me long enough to tell me to fuck right off.
A pause. “Don’t talk like that, dude. You’d trust your mom. You’d trust Meg. You’d trust Cora. You sure as hell would trust Meatball. With your life. I even think you’d trust Sue-Ann. I think you might even love her.”
Nah, I can’t love Sue-Ann, can I? And even if I did, would it matter?
“Maybe not after today.”
“Why? Did she let you have it? If she did, she had every right to. She’s a prominent businessperson in this city and being with you embarrassed her. She’s going to have to explain to people about your hairy ass and your stubby dick. She’s going to have to explain why a woman who’s ancient history decided she needed her fifteen minutes and she’d do anything to get it. Even if it wasn’t your fault, this whole incident reeks of disrespect.”
“Stubby in your dreams.” I sink into a chair and try to calm my roiling stomach. “I think she’s overreacting. If I cheated and had sex with Maddy since I met Sue-Ann, I could see it. If I’d been the one who released it, I could see it. That tape is years in the past along with the woman in it. Everybody’s got a history and you can’t always keep all the skeletons in the closet. Sometimes the door opens and the bones fall out.”
“You need to pull your head out of your own ass. Maybe the age difference between you two is an issue. When a woman is looking at a man to have a long-term relationship with, the first thing she considers is if she’ll be safe with him. If he’ll have her back when the torpedoes are sailing in. Seems to me you’re causing problems for Sue-Ann instead of helping her overcome them when all she’s doing is making your life better. You can’t say the same.”
I jiggle my leg because the nervous energy feels like just too much to bear. “What about having my back? This was my incoming fire. And she didn’t even stop to take a breath before she sold me out!”
A long pause. “How do you know she’s planning on selling you out? You haven’t even talked to her yet. Once you calm down, I think you’ll be able to see her side.”
“What side? She won’t even face me like an adult. She’s got all modes of communication to me cut off.”
“Give her a day or two and then g
o over there in person. Take it like a man. And if she wants to beat the shit out of you, let her. Then when you both calm down, talk it out.”
“How are you making sense about this when you’ve never even had a long-term girlfriend?”
“Common sense. You should try it sometime. I gotta go hit the gym. Let me know how it goes.”
I bite my lower lip until it stings. “Later, bro.”
*****
I give Sue precisely three days to cool down while the team completes a two-game road trip. Once I get off the plane, I don’t even stop at my house but ask Matt to stay with Meatball until this difficult conversation is over.
When I glide my Dodge to the curb, I’m relieved to see Sue’s car in the drive. It’s Sunday, so she should be home, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if she wanted to spend the day with her family instead of being alone.
I get out and trot up the sidewalk to the front door, pausing for a second and summoning my courage. With a deep breath, I stab the doorbell and wait. If she looks out and sees it’s me, she could very well refuse to answer.
When it swings open, I exhale. Despite the pulled back hair and dark circles, she still looks gorgeous. My eyes drink her in. I fist my hands to keep from reaching out to her.
Touching her.
Kissing her.
Her expression is a mask of granite. Impenetrable. And I wonder if I’m going to be able to leave here without getting an ice pick jammed into my heart.
“Can I come in?” I ask.
She gestures me inside and I trail after her into the kitchen.
She leans against the fridge. “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Water?”
“Um… I’d ask for something stronger, but it’s not even noon.”
My attempt at humor falls flat between us, and she doesn’t even crack a smile. Instead, she opens the fridge and withdraws two bottles of water. Handing me one, she twists hers open and sits down at one of the island stools. I stay standing across from her because she’s made it clear she wants a barrier between us.
And it’s more than physical. I’ve been inside this woman’s body, but I also thought I’d pierced her soul.
Gamed (Minnesota Caribou Book 4) Page 15
