I beam with pride. I hope I had a little something to do with my sister’s self-esteem. “I’m just glad you know your own worth, that’s all. Don’t ever lose that, no matter how many times life beats you down.”
My mom clucks her tongue and pours me another glass of milk. I’ve been moping lately. About my career. About Sue-Ann. When I feel like I want to die, the only thing that can make it better is Mom, which is why I dragged my ass over here tonight. “You sound like a man who knows what he’s talking about.”
I roll my eyes, but I end up staring at Matt’s lazy ass. He’s the only one not eating. “Is someone going to get the door? Or are we just going to let the Jehovah Witnesses stand out there in the cold with Bible verses freezing on their lips?”
With a grunt of protest, Matt finally gets his lazy ass off the couch and stomps to the rusty metal door. When I got my NHL contract, I offered to buy Mom a townhouse, but she flat-out refused. She said I could do that someday when my career was more established and stable. For now, she was just fine in the family home, thank you very much. And with what’s been going on lately, I appreciate her wisdom. It’s bad enough that I might lose my condo, I can’t even imagine having to worry about her losing her house too.
When Matt swings the door open, I choke on my tater tot. Picking up my milk, I take a swig, so I don’t pass out. My eyes widen into saucers as I cough up a lung.
“Sue-Ann!” Meg yells, abandoning her hotdish and bounding toward the door with those gazelle-like legs of hers. “You made it!”
Mom shuffles after her, untying her apron strings and throwing the faded green cloth over the recliner. “Welcome, Sue-Ann, come on in, honey. We were just having supper. Are you hungry? I made plenty. Well, look at you. You’re so tiny. You could use some stick to your ribs food.”
Sue-Ann hovers around the door, not really in but not really out. She clutches a pink cellophane-wrapped basket of something to her chest and her eyes finally find mine. I drink her in, feeling a little bit of my pain fade away just at the sight of her silky hair and knowing eyes.
She’s close.
Too close.
Not nearly close enough.
And I’ve missed her. So fucking hard.
“Um… I should go. I totally didn’t mean to disrupt your meal. I just… I just wanted to bring this.” Her voice is low, careful. My hopes soar higher than they should. High enough that I’m afraid of what might happen to them if she leaves. She shoves the basket toward my mom, but Meg intercepts it and peers inside.
“Damn, are these homemade?” she asks, picking at the ribbon at the top. “Cool.”
Mom leans in and hugs Sue-Ann inside. “Aw, honey, I insist. I made a double batch to feed these growing boys. I hope you like tater tot hotdish.”
“Who doesn’t,” Sue-Ann answers, a small smile on her gorgeous face. “I think you lose your Minnesotan card if you don’t.”
Mom grabs the basket from Meg and brings it to the kitchen, setting it down on the worn counter. On her way by, she smacks me in the back of my head. “We have company, Maxwell. Where are your manners?”
My fork clatters to the table, but my declarations of how great it is to see her die a slow death in my tight throat. “Hi.”
Meg slides back into her seat and kicks me in my shin. “Don’t mind my brothers, Sue-Ann. I promise they’re both smarter than they look.”
Sue slips onto the metal chair next to me and the moment her ass hits the worn vinyl that used to be a floral pattern, that traitorous bitch Meatball makes a euphoric noise and sidles up next to her. Right before Sue arrived, she’d been laying on top of my feet, hoping for a few morsels of potato. But now that Sue’s here, I’m chopped liver.
After dishing up Sue-Ann a plate of food and setting it in front of her, Mom goes back and digs into the basket she brought. “My, my. These are fudge chocolate chip, Max’s favorite.”
“I know,” Sue says in a voice barely above a whisper. “And there are some homemade dog biscuits in there for Meatball too. Totally organic and dog safe. I like to bake to relieve stress.”
And I’m the cause of that stress. As I sit here like the biggest nincompoop in the history of Minnesota, I fall in love with her all over again. I don’t deserve fudge chip cookies from scratch. I don’t even merit her presence in this trailer, which I’m pretty sure has something to do with my overbearing sister. And I want to tell her how I feel. Like my life will amount to nothing if she’s not in it. But I’ve never been good with words even when I’m alone with a woman, and now we have an audience.
I should have fought harder for us.
I should have bared my soul.
But you’re here anyway and it’s more than I deserve.
Matt snags a handful of cookies from the basket and chews. “Shit, these are good. You’re welcome here anytime, Sue-Ann.”
“Watch your language, Matthew,” Mom chides. “There are ladies present.”
He snorts a laugh and heads back to his throne on the sofa. “Really? I only see two.”
“You’re an asshat,” Meg says, scooping up another bite of hotdish. “If I wasn’t eating, I’d smack you again.”
“So how have you been?” I ask, regarding Sue-Ann like I might a fragile piece of glass. I don’t want to make the one wrong move that could break her.
She stares at her plate. “Good.”
Something loosens in my chest. I suppose I deserve the one-word answer. Mom finally sits down and helps herself to some food, but she doesn’t eat it, she just looks back and forth between me and Sue-Ann.
I push my chair back. “Do you want to go outside?”
She nods and gets up too. “Sure.”
Once we grab our coats and head out there, I walk around to the back to the old tree swing. I brush off the dirt and leaves before I offer Sue-Ann a seat. I try to see the rusty trailer, the dead grass, and the old sedan in the dirt driveway through her eyes. But despite the ramshackle appearance, love lives here, and it always has. So much love.
I flick my wrist. “Well, this is home.”
She glances at the mature tree above us. “I think it’s beautiful. A structure doesn’t make a family. I know lonely, miserable people who live in palaces. You know, Max, it’s not where you come from, it’s where you’re headed that matters.”
I sit next to her but make sure our thighs aren’t touching even though I want a physical connection more than anything. “I don’t think I know where I’m headed anymore. Sometimes I wonder if I deliberately sabotage myself because bad shit keeps happening to me. I’m not sure why.”
Her head falls back to the wood and I can’t help it, I snake my arm around the back so I can cradle it. Maybe there’s hope because she doesn’t shy away from my touch like I thought she might.
Instead, she leans into my space and I inhale her essence. “I think I know why.”
As my fingers trail along her shoulder, I glance at her. “Why?”
“Because you’re waiting for other people to believe in you before you believe in yourself. The only opinion that matters is your own.” She reaches over and taps my heart. “Other people’s opinions are none of your business. But for the record, I believe in you.”
I place a deliberate kiss on the top of her head as something in my chest splits open at her words. At the way she’s looking at me. At the emotion lacing her tone. “I love you, Sue-Ann. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you until right now. I’m sorry you had to come here today. I should have stayed at your house that day. I should have fought for you. For us. Will you forgive me for being a lunkhead? I can’t promise that I won’t ever be ignorant or immature again, but I do promise that I’ll always try to be the best version of myself for you.”
She twines her fingers with mine. “No, Max. You need to always strive to be the best version of yourself for you. Promise?”
I nod and put my fingertip underneath her chin so I can meet her gaze. “I’m not sure what I ever did to deserve you. Maybe I don’t. But I p
romise I’ll keep growing until I do. I want to be your partner in this life, Sue-Ann. I want to be the father of your children.”
“I love you too, Max.” The way she looks at me—the way she admits what’s in her heart sends a charge through me and I’m able to take my first full breath since this shitstorm descended down on me.
And for the first time in my life, I become a true believer.
In myself.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Sue-Ann
Holding the bottles of Bud Light tightly in my hands, I make my way from my kitchen to my living room where Max is watching the Twins on cable.
Ever since that day on the tree swing at his mom’s house, we’ve been spending all our time together when he’s not on the road. His play has been stellar, and only Adam and Jason are above him in the Caribou point stats. Max is one of the main reasons the Caribou are playoff-bound this spring. I’m so proud of him, it flows out of me every time I attend a game or watch him on TV. And I’m really starting to get the hang of things, enough so I don’t embarrass Max in front of his teammates.
Once I hit the doorway, I stutter to a stop behind the couch. Max has his pants undone and his underwear down, his cock already growing to an impossible length. Because… baseball?
“Max. What in the hell are you doing?” I ask, setting the bottles down onto coasters. “Are you playing strip poker with yourself? Is there some medical issue I should know about?”
He gestures with the remote. “It works for Catrick, so I wondered if it would work for me. Thought I’d give it a try and test my hypothesis.”
I sink into the couch beside him, staring, unable to stop from licking my lips as my own body whirs to life. “What works for Catrick?”
He waggles his eyebrows. “Exposing his crotch. When he exposes his crotch and does that slow blink you love, you rub it.”
My lips twitch and as much as I try, I can’t suppress the giggles that bubble up. Catrick does love to lay on his back with his legs hanging open. It’s how he’s always asked for tummy rubs. But this? Where does he come up with this stuff? Everything about this man amuses me and lights a fire deep within, every cell firing and pulsing until my stomach knots and flips over. I never know what he’s going to do next.
I crawl my fingertips along the upholstery but stop a few inches from his naked thigh, watching as his dick twitches. “But you’re just exposing your crotch. I’ll need the slow blink too just to see if that inspires me to… rub it.”
He flutters those impossibly long eyelashes that it should be a sin for men to possess and then waits with eyes the color of a twilight sky, a hopeful look lining his expression. “So, will you?”
I hitch in a breath, a little mesmerized by this whole thing with that feeling I get when I look at him, all sinew and hard lines. That breathlessness that makes my skin prickly as wicked thoughts pop into my head about what I want to do to him. The air stills and then fills with anticipation. “Will I what?”
He twines his fingers through mine and then trails them closer. “Rub it?”
The second I make the already pre-ordained decision, I fall forward onto him and our mouths collide, his tongue passing the seam of my lips to explore mine as my hand grips his inner thigh. Max moans into my mouth, a gritty sound that triggers something primal inside me that only he can coax out.
“What if I want more than rubbing?” I croak out.
“Resisting you is futile, Sue-Ann. You can have whatever the fuck you want, babe. Just take it.”
At his words, my pulse riots and surges through my veins like a tidal wave, threatening to overflow it all. God, this man. It’s like I want to crawl inside him and never leave. When I stroke up and down his steely length, he makes a breathless sound.
“Sue…” My name falls from his lips like a prayer and a curse. It sounds like virtue and sin at the same time.
With each caress of my fingertips, passion swirls in his azure gaze and every muscle pulls taut. He’s losing control under my hand, and I want him to lose it. I want every thought outside of me to fade away.
“Why do you do this to me, Max? My, God. I can’t even,” I manage to spit out, my eyes meeting his.
“You’re everything to me, Sue-Ann. You’re my sunny mornings and my starlit nights and my lazy afternoons,” he murmurs, the rough pads of his fingers caressing my jawline as I continue to worship his cock. The words don’t fall from his lips, but I hear them in my mind. And then I hear them for real. I’ll never tire of hearing them. “Do you realize what a big fucking deal it is how much I love you?”
Heat rushes through me like a blazing inferno eating up cheap plywood for fuel, sending my thoughts exploding into orbit.
“I love you too,” I answer. And I mean it. I really, really do. I have fallen crazy, completely, in love with this wicked and perfectly imperfect man who seemed so wrong for me but has just ended up being so damn right.
Our lips put an exclamation point on it with a searing kiss. “One more thing.”
I gaze up at him. “What?”
“I had another test done just to be on the safe side. I’m clean and you’re clean and we can do it this time without a condom, if you’re okay with that.” He brushes the hair from my eyes, and I can see the raw emotion in his gaze. “It will be my first time without one ever. Like I’ve been waiting all this time for you to be my first bareback rider.”
I chew on my lower lip. “So I get one of your firsts? I’m all for it. I wish I could be one of your firsts.”
He plants a gentle kiss on my lips. “I am your first. Your first epic love and your last. And that’s way more important than anything sexual.”
Swallowing down a lump of emotion, I run my fingers down his jawline. “Aw, I love that, Monroe. You’re learning to have a way with words.”
I can’t wait to experience what it will feel like to have nothing between the two of us physically or emotionally. I feel so free, like I’m right where I was always meant to be.
“I can’t wait, babe. Just the thought of it. God, I feel like I might embarrass myself.” He grips my waist and slides me on top of him in one deft stroke until I’m fully seated and we’re connected in the most intimate way possible. “Shit. Shit. This is too good like this. You’re so wet and tight. Don’t do that thing you do or I’m not going to last.”
“What?” I say, but a smirk busts out and I do that little wiggle with my pubic bone where I grind my clit with the most perfect pressure. “You mean this?”
“I’m trying to pleasure my woman and make her happy.” He tries to hold me still. “But she is being a bad, bad girl. She might need a spanking.”
I lean forward and capture his lips with mine. “But I’m your bad girl now. And I’m actually okay with that.”
His thumb skates over an erect nipple. “You mean you’re okay with being even naughtier?”
I reach between us and play with my swollen clit until he groans. “More than okay.”
“I’m going to corrupt you. Starting right now.” He gives my ass a playful swat but that actually turns me on even more and I sigh into the sting.
“Spank me again,” I whisper, my greedy fingers moving to explore his sculpted chest before trailing lower over the defined grooves of his abs. Max gazes up at me, excitement flickering in his eyes and gritty pleasure-dipped moans falling from his lips as he swats me again, harder this time.
As I continue my caresses, he strums my clit until I keen. The tornado of sensation inside me twirls at a hundred miles per hour, and I can’t hold back another second. It crashes over me in a perfect storm, and I break apart, panting and wondering if I’ll ever be able to put myself back together again. The orgasm surges over me again and then peaks, dousing me in pleasure.
Max groans low in his throat as he feels me pulsing around him. “Dammit, Sue-Ann. Can’t last when you do that.”
I lean down and press my lips to his neck as his measured thrusts become wild and then he empties himself deep ins
ide me. We stay like that for a long time—vulnerable—connected.
Still panting little huffs of breath, he threads his fingers through my hair. “That was fucking amazing.”
I might have words, but they’re lodged in the depths of my throat, so all I do is hold him. We stay like that, snuggled up on the couch until I feel myself dozing off, the baseball game a low hum in the background.
Max’s phone buzzes and when he glances at it, he says, “It’s my agent. Okay if I take it?”
I nod. “Of course.”
He trails off into the kitchen to grab a couple more beers since ours are flatter than a brunch pancake, and I hear some mumbling that I can’t quite make out.
After a few minutes, he hands me a cold bottle and I put it to my lips for a sip. “So? Good news, I hope?”
Max breaks out into a celly, using his beer as a prop. I stare at his lickable abs, totally distracted, gearing up for round two. “Hell, yeah! Three years. Seven figures. And it’s all because of you, Sue-Ann.” He grabs me with his free hand and twirls me buck naked and laughing. “You’re my mojo. I’m officially a major player on the home team. I need you in the stands cheering me on. You can’t die.”
Did he just say that I can’t die? I slap the back of my hand to my forehead. “Then try not to fuck me to death. But I am older.”
He leans over and yanks me to my feet. “The life span of women is seven years more than men. Exactly the amount of years older that you are. See? This is working out exactly as it should.”
I press a kiss to his smiling lips. “I’m proud of you, Max.”
“Now I’m as successful as my business-owning girlfriend.” He wipes at his forehead and sighs. “Thank God that worry is gone. What would I do if you put my balls in a vice because you make more money than me? How would you see me if I lost my NHL career and I had to work as a Walmart greeter?”
“I would still see you as one of the most caring undercover sweethearts I’ve ever met,” I admit on a sigh, twining my arms around him and pressing my bare chest to his. “But I also see you as a hockey player. The Caribou have millions of adoring fans all over the world, and I know you could have any girl you want. Now you’re the next big thing with the fancy contract to prove it. I still don’t understand why you picked me.”
Gamed (Minnesota Caribou Book 4) Page 17
