by A'zayler
Never in all his years of knowing her, had Goody ever given him the cold shoulder or blatantly disrespected his feelings, and to be honest, it hurt. Bad.
“Goody, please.” Kayson got down on one knee. “Please, give me another chance. I’m sorry, baby. I made a mistake.”
“Yeah, you did, but it’s cool. We straight.”
The coldness in her tone broke his heart. It had been a long time since he’d cried, but he’d be damned if his eyes weren’t watering right then. Real life watering, and it wasn’t the liquor. The emotions spilling from him at that moment was full blown internal.
“Paradise.”
Goody held her hand up in his face to stop him. “Don’t. Just go. I’ve heard enough.”
Kayson looked at her for a long time before finally standing to his feet. “Can I have a hug?”
Goody paused but then walked into his grasp. A foreign feeling invaded his insides. A feeling that he’d been dying to feel, one he’d been starved for, reappeared and made everything in him feel at ease again. He needed that damn girl way more than he’d known.
“Paradise, I can’t lose you again.”
“Again? There is no again, Kayson. I used to love you, and still do in certain ways, but as far as being in love with you or having a real relationship, that’s over.”
Kayson’s chest tightened as his throat constricted. There were those tears again, but this time they came full force. His arms tightened around her as he held on for dear life. Their hug lasted a few more minutes before she began to pull away. In a hurry, Kayson snatched her back to him.
“No, not yet.”
“Kayson, yes, now. I have to go.” She pulled away again.
This time, he let her go. His eyes found hers, but she gave a flat smile before looking away. Kayson’s heart broke more and more as he watched her hoist the bag over her shoulder and grab her phone and keys.
“So, you love this dude?”
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“I can’t watch you be with another man.”
“Don’t.” She shrugged as if she didn’t care one way or the other.
That was the nail in his coffin, but he kept his head high. He’d embarrassed himself enough for one day. His best bet at that point was to gather his bearings and salvage whatever self-respect and dignity he had left. One heavy foot in front of the other, Kayson walked to her front door and let himself out. They were over, like really over, and no matter how real it looked and sounded, he couldn’t make himself believe it. Not then, not ever.
Chapter 4
It Never Fades Away
Soft music and laughter were the perfect ambiance for Jerrico and his thoughts. It was nearing dinner time, and his restaurant was filled with customers dining and enjoying each other. People from all walks of life were crowded into his building, smiling, eating, and conversing with those who meant the most to them. Times like that made him happy with his career.
Cooking was one thing but making people feel good was another. It was an unexplainable feeling that he never tried to convey because it was his. Nobody would understand. His passion for food and happiness ran deep. The only thing that compared to that was being in love. He’d felt that with Summer, and he was starting to feel it for Paradise.
He had no plans of telling her that any time soon, but his love for her was on the rise. It hadn’t been long, and she hadn’t voluntarily given him anything to love, but the parts of her that he’d practically pried from her grip was an over the moon experience, and he wanted to continue feeling it. All of her, even the messy parts appealed to all of him.
Though on most days she liked to fight it off or pretend it didn’t exist, Jerrico knew better. Like he’d told her from the beginning, he didn’t mind chasing her as long as she was worth it. She was. Jerrico saw past all the guards she’d thrown up to protect herself from being hurt again, and he was just the man to break them down.
He’d always been tough and his mother’s most headstrong son. Paradise was just another mountain to climb. The moment he reached the top, he’d raise his arms in victory. She was just that real to him.
“Our girl is here.” Heather walked up to Jerrico and handed him the long-stemmed yellow rose. “Don’t let me down.”
“It’s not me. It’ll be all her. I promise.”
Heather’s smile wavered, and she patted his arm. “Positive thoughts only.”
Jerrico nodded while raising the flower to his nose. “I got this.”
“Yeah, you do. I’ll go grab her.” Heather pushed him back into the kitchen. “You go make sure you’re ready.”
Jerrico turned and walked back into his kitchen. He checked on all his staff, informing them of his plans before taking the stairs to the terrace entrance of his restaurant. The yellow rose petals lining the floor with the floating yellow candles added a beautiful touch to the already immaculate scenery of his terrace. The floor normally held twenty to thirty people, but tonight it would be just him and his baby.
The large harp in the corner along with the short, brown-skinned beauty who normally served tables was set and ready to provide their music for the evening. London was in school studying music, so the moment she heard him and Heather planning, she volunteered her services. Jerrico had been blown away by her talent. The way she sang and played her instrument with so much passion and precision reminded him of himself when he was in his kitchen.
“Thank you again. You look beautiful.” Jerrico approved the fitted lavender sundress that London was wearing with silver sandals.
“I’m honored. Everything is here. I made sure of it.”
Jerrico eyed the mini grill with all the foods he planned to prepare for Goody along with the small gift boxes decorating one side of their table. Everything looked good, so he could stop stressing. With one last task, he rushed to the full mirror built into the brick on his wall and checked his reflection. The dark gray tailored pants, light pink dress shirt, and magenta, gray, and white striped tie illuminated the darkness of his skin, giving his normal expensive appearance.
To top off his attire, he wore a gray new era cap on his head. It didn’t necessarily go with his outfit, but he knew Goody liked them, so he’d put it on just for her. The fresh pair of all white Jordans on his feet was another move made just for her. He preferred loafers, but he also preferred giving his girl what she liked.
“She’s going to love it. I do! The style is a nice touch.” London reassured him as he’d done her.
Jerrico spun around and took another deep breath when he heard Heather and Paradise laughing. After quickly running his hands over his face and pants, he was ready. He took a step toward the door that they would be coming through momentarily and stuck one hand in his pocket while holding the single rose in the other. They were getting closer… closer… Her laugh, he heard it then felt it.
“Hey, gorgeous.” Jerrico smiled at her when she stepped out onto the terrace.
The two-piece set she had on had easily outdone his attire. The pink shorts hugged her small thighs while the off the shoulder top covered most of her torso, leaving just a sliver of her stomach showing. The caramel colored skin glistened with some sort of glitter while the simple jewelry on her neck, wrists, and ankles completed her look.
Back was the black hair, straight with a long part in the middle. Her bright, white smile shined in his face the moment she looked at the spread he’d put together for her.
“Jerrico.” She sighed while standing in the same spot with her mouth ajar.
Behind them, London began to play and sing softly. Goody’s face lit up even more at the sound. When her hand came up and grabbed her chest, Jerrico walked to her and eased up behind her. His arms circled her waist while his lips then his chin came to her shoulder. Her body shivered before sinking back into his chest.
“What’s all of this for?”
“Because you’re special, and I wanted to take you on a date, but I had to work.”
“Jerrico, oh my g
od, I can’t even think of what to say. Everything looks so beautiful.”
Jerrico handed her the rose before pulling her over to the chair he had set for her. Heather disappeared from the door, and London’s voice mellowed out a little more. Paradise watched her with a smile as Jerrico moved things around, preparing his hands to serve her the things he’d made.
“I hope you’re hungry.”
“Yeah, I hope you are too.” She smiled mischievously. “Not for food, though.”
Jerrico blushed when she winked at him while licking her lips. Paradise looked over at London and shrugged with a comical expression on her face.
“I’m going to give your boss some good sex for this, so after we eat, go ahead and leave, sweetheart.”
London’s song paused from her laughter, but her thumbs up gave Goody the green light.
Goody rubbed the brim of Jerrico’s cap. “I like your clothes.”
“I knew you would.” Jerrico leaned over to set the food down.
Paradise grabbed both of his arms, slowing down his movement. “I can’t believe you did this for me.” Her eyes locked with his.
“There’s more.”
“How?” She looked around as if he’d already topped off. “How can there possibly be more?”
“Just wait.”
“No, I’m impatient. I can’t. I’m having a hard enough time staying off you. You think I can wait for a surprise too? You have way too much faith in me.”
He laughed first, and she joined afterward. “You can do it. I trust you.”
Goody paused at the tone of his voice. Her eyes shifted some before she pulled at his arm. “Sit down, let’s talk.”
“Let me get your food ready.”
“I’ll eat in a minute. I just want to talk right now.”
His nerves almost got the best of him because it sounded like something was about to mess up his night. His uncertainty made him stall a little longer, but once he was set, he took a seat in front of her and pulled her chair to him so that she was seated between his legs.
Her long, colorful nails looked good against the material of his pants as she calmly rubbed up and down his legs.
“What’s on your mind?” Jerrico urged.
“You said you trust me. I don’t know if you should because I’m raggedy as hell right now. I might not be trustworthy.” She laughed, but it wasn’t a funny laugh. More of a laugh to keep from crying type thing.
Jerrico frowned. “Why not?”
The long, uncomfortable silence between them made him feel restless. He could hardly sit still. The way she sat back and pulled herself out of his grasp did nothing to ease his already shaky nerves.
“I really don’t want to tell you this because all of this is so nice.” Paradise looked around the terrace with a wavering smile. “And I really like it, but…”
Jerrico’s stomach flipped while she sat casually playing with the fabric of his pants.
“But what?” he questioned urgently. It was taking her far too long to answer, and he was getting worse by the minute.
“Kayson was at my house again with my brother when I got home today.” She looked right at him.
Jerrico didn’t say anything because his mind had gone in ten million directions the moment he heard the man’s name. He could handle a lot of stuff, but if she sat in his face and admitted to sleeping with her ex-husband, it was over. They would be over.
“I didn’t want him there,” she hurried to say. “And I chumped my brother out for having him there.” Paradise grabbed his hands. “Jerrico, look at me, babe.”
Jerrico raised his eyes to her while the thumping in his chest heightened.
“I asked him over and over to leave, and he wouldn’t. He laid on my bed and fell asleep while I showered and got ready to come here.”
“He saw you naked?” Jerrico sat up so that he was closer to her. “I mean, shit,” Jerrico sat back again and scratched his head. “Of course, he did, he’s your husband. He’s seen you like that a million times.” Jerrico’s posture changed again as he sat up in a hurry. “I just feel like… he shouldn’t now. You’re not his anymore.”
Jerrico stumbled over his words as he tried to relay the fact that Paradise was now his woman; he should be the only man on the planet with the privilege of seeing her naked, especially when it was her ex-husband with the looking eyes.
“No, hell no, he didn’t. I closed the door and locked it. I didn’t come out until I was dressed.” She pushed her hair out of her face. “He was asleep, anyway.”
All of a sudden, London and her music was irritating him, so he turned and got rid of her.
“London, can you give us a minute, sweetheart?”
“Of course.” She moved from her harp and walked off the terrace.
Jerrico and Paradise both paused for a minute. Neither of them were sure where to pick back up.
“I’m just trying to figure out why he felt comfortable enough to go into your room, let alone fall asleep in your bed.” Jerrico stuck one leg out in front of him. “That just doesn’t make any sense to me.”
“He wouldn’t leave. I yelled and practically begged for him to go, but he was stuck on begging to get me back.” Paradise scratched her head with a confused expression on her face. “I guess he thought he could bully me into being with him again. I don’t know, Jerrico. Honestly, I think his problem is that he’s never been without me. From high school until now, he’s always had free range with me. Now, that you’re here and that’s no longer the case, I guess he can’t take it. He refuses to believe it. It’s like the idea of not having me is unreal to him.”
“Well?” Jerrico urged.
“He can’t have me and never will again.” Paradise scooted to the end of her chair and grabbed the side of his face. “I don’t want him anymore. I love you.” She swallowed hard while looking at him with glossy eyes. “I’m so scared, though, Jerrico. Like, really scared. You have no idea.”
“Scared of what?” Both of his hands found the sides of her body. He could finally breathe again. “Scared of me?”
“Not that.” She shook her head. “Scared of being in love with you. What if you do me how he did?”
“I wouldn’t dare.”
She pressed her forehead to his. “I’m sure he thought the same thing at one point.”
“I’m not him, Paradise.”
She sat quietly, just holding her head against his, eyes closed with labored breathing. Jerrico tried to stay away from her as long as he could, but he couldn’t and picked her up, so she was straddling his lap. She felt better like that. He could hold and feel her.
“I don’t want to feel that kind of pain ever again. I’m torn. I want to feel and enjoy the love you give, but if it comes with that kind of hurt, I don’t want it.” Her head adamantly shook. “I can’t take it from you.” She inhaled deeply and wrapped her arms around his neck. “I barely made it past him, but you… with you, I feel different. You make me think and love differently than he did, and because of that, I’m sure I won’t make it if you do the same thing.”
Jerrico hugged her tighter. “I don’t know how to make you believe me, but I won’t do that. On Sofia, I wouldn’t do that.”
Goody snickered a little. “Don’t be putting nothing on your mama.”
Jerrico smiled. “I need to make you believe me. You know how much I love my girl. I wouldn’t lie on her life like that.”
“You’re the best person I’ve ever been in love with.”
Hearing her continue to profess her feelings and love for him made Jerrico feel lucky. He’d thought her conversation was going to be the furthest thing from what she was saying then. Just the mention of her ex’s name had triggered dormant pain lying beneath his toughest surfaces as well. Also having experienced damaging relationships in his past, he automatically assumed the worst. Thankfully, that hadn’t been her intention.
“What do you want to do, Paradise?” Jerrico pulled back so that he could see her face. “Te
ll me.”
She shrugged lazily. “I can’t decide.”
“You want me to decide for you?”
She nodded.
“You know what I’m going to pick, right?”
A small smile appeared when she nodded again.
“You have my word on Sofia’s life that I won’t make you feel the way he did.”
She played with his tie without making eye contact.
“You believe me?”
“Not really,” she flatly said.
“What? Why? Haven’t I proven to be a man of my word already?”
Goody moved around his lap a little and rubbed his shoulders while nodding her head. “Yes, but I still don’t really put anything past you.” She cleared her throat. “None of y’all.”
“Damn.” Jerrico felt insulted. “Y’all? You grouping me with the rest of the men?”
“Didn’t you tell me you broke Summer’s heart?”
What the hell? Jerrico hated that his words were coming back to bite him.
“Yes, I said that, but it’s different. I didn’t cheat on her.”
“Correct, but you’re also the same person who told me that cheating isn’t the only way to break a person’s heart. You told me that.” She touched his chest with her pointer finger for emphasis. “Meaning, you’d break mine too, depending on the circumstances. I’m not falling for words any longer.”
Even with him hating the direction of their conversation with everything in him, Jerrico had to own his words.
“I’ll just have to show you with my actions then.”
“I guess so.”
Jerrico stood and placed Goody on her feet. “So, does that mean you’re still giving me a chance?”
“Yes, you deserve one.”
He didn’t smile right away, but when she looked at him and gave him one of her own, he reciprocated. He wagged his pointer finger in her face.
“You’re trouble.”
“I am.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”
