by Tania Joyce
“Troy?” The whispered name managed to slip past her lips, her throat too dry to make more of an audible sound. “Troy Smith?”
“Yes. It’s me.” He smiled. “What on earth are you doing here?”
“I come out here all the time for some R and R. But what are you doing here?” Jessica took another step back from him. Her heartbeat pounded and her head rattled like a roller-coaster.
“I started working here a few weeks ago.”
“What?” Jessica gasped. She tried to move but her body was not responding. Troy, of all people, stood before her. Why him? Why?
“I’ve gotta go.” Jessica dug down deep inside, pulling on all her inner strength to move. She grabbed her gear, pushed past him and headed to the barn.
“Wait. Do you want to catch up for a beer? For old time’s sake?”
“Old times. Old times. You’ve got to be kidding, right?” Jessica tried to breathe normally. In. Out. In. Out. But her head was wheeling out of control.
“Jess?”
She could feel him watching her storm off. It made her quicken her pace.
The wind was picking up and storm clouds were starting to build in the west. She raced back to her cabin, packed her bags, threw them in her car and sped off, leaving a trail of dust behind her.
Halfway home, Jessica’s hands shook as she searched on her phone for Max’s number and hit the call button. “Max, code red, code red. Please don’t ask any questions right now. Just please meet me at my house in an hour. I need to talk to you now more than ever. Shit. Shit. Shit,” Jessica hollered down the Bluetooth phone connection. She raced toward the city, trying to beat the storm that looked like it was about to unleash its force upon the earth. Her body was still trembling. Her brain still trying to process who she’d just seen.
“Jess? What’s happened? Is it Nate?”
“Worse than Nate. Please come over?”
“Jessica?” Max’s voice was full of worry. “You’re freaking me out. I’m on my way. See you soon.”
* * *
At her house, Jessica’s shaky hands managed to pour a full-bodied red wine into an oversized glass. With her fingers wrapped firmly around the glass, she nestled down onto the couch and watched the unsettled harbor waters in the distance. Wind rattled the windows and tossed trees viciously about as the late afternoon turned dark and gloomy. Rain began to splash down. She stared out the window at the drops as they picked up intensity and covered the ground.
So many questions bombarded her mind. Why? How? Troy was working at Gumtrees. What the …?
How could a few days unravel her perfect world? First Nate. Now Troy. Jessica never cried—not in years. Not even when her loveless marriage to Graeme ended. She excelled in her professional life because she kept her feelings under control. She was always so organized and meticulous in detail, but right now she felt like everything was falling apart.
Sex screwed up everything.
She was on her second glass when Max arrived.
Max threw her handbag and car keys on the granite benchtop in the kitchen. “What’s happened?”
“You’d better grab a drink and sit down for this one. It’s a real doozy.”
“You betcha. I need it after a weekend of playing soccer mom and chauffeur.” She poured a red, placed the bottle on the coffee table in front of them and, tucking her feet beneath her, joined Jessica on the couch. “Now, this has nothing to do with Nate?”
“No.” Jessica drew the scent of the wine into every cell of her body in an attempt to find an inner calm. “Max, I have something to tell you that only a few people on the face of this planet know.”
“Okay, now I’m intrigued.” Max wriggled and sank further into the soft leather.
“I was out at Gumtrees and ran into someone from my past.” She shook her head, still in disbelief. “It’s like he’s back from the dead. My old high school boyfriend … Troy Smith.”
“Yeah, so?” Max’s eyes looked vacant, then she gasped. “Oh, did you sleep with him too?”
“No.” Jessica shot Maxine a horrified look. “Well yes—a very long time ago. Max, why did he have to come back after all this time? Why?” She snuffled and wiped a tear away from her cheek with the back of her hand.
“What’s so wrong about running into an old ex? Are you still crazy about him after all this time?”
“No. It’s so much more than that, Max. Troy … Troy is Conner’s father.”
Chapter 5
“What the fuck?” Max spluttered, choking on a mouthful of her drink.
“Oh, I wish I was joking, but I’m not.” Jessica looked vacantly off into the distance as she sipped on her drink. “Troy is Conner’s father. I haven’t seen him since high school in Cessnock. When he finished school, he wanted to travel overseas for a few months before going to university. The night before he left we didn’t have a condom. I fell pregnant with Conner.”
Jessica remembered the evening all too well, as though it were only yesterday. It was November, humid and still. Everyone had been complaining throughout the day, begging it to storm to relieve the heat that hung in the air. She’d been at Troy’s for dinner and he was driving her home when they stopped at the park on the edge of town. Their favorite spot to make out had been underneath the protective curtain of the branches of a weeping willow tree that overlooked the old rusty playground. Of all nights not to have protection.
Max gasped in shock. It seemed her friend was lost for words for the first time in her life.
Jessica’s jaw tensed as she fought back tears. She’d been repressing this information for so long, she was finding it hard put the words right. “My parents were mortified. Being strict Catholics, abortion wasn’t an option. They were so ashamed of me that they shipped me off to my aunt’s in Melbourne so no one would know that their bright-eyed little girl had got knocked up.”
Her mother cried for hours and her father wanted to hunt Troy down, castrate him, toss him in jail and throw away the key. Jessica wished he had—at least then she would’ve known where he was for the past twenty years.
“Dad transferred to Melbourne with the police force. I know they moved to avoid humiliation around town. Mom refused to let me be a teenage dropout and waste my life. She helped look after Conner while I finished high school and university. I’ll be forever grateful to her as it got me to where I am today. Plus they love Conner to bits,” Jessica said in their defense.
“Does Troy know?” Max asked.
Jessica hand trembled as she took a sip of her wine. “Yes. Though, it took me nearly three years to find him. When he left, he was supposed to only go on a holiday, but I got a postcard from him saying he was staying in the US and our relationship was over. Dumped by postcard. Who does that? That’s like breaking up with someone via text message these days, isn’t it? When I tried to contact his mom to get his details, she’d moved to God only knows where.
“Conner was three by the time I tracked Troy down through an old school friend. When I rang the ranch where Troy was working, a woman answered. She was rude. ‘She didn’t want me to call anymore. She was his new girlfriend, they were engaged and he wanted nothing to do with me. I didn’t believe it at first, so I tried several more times and left message after message. I sent him letters, photos and details of Conner. When I heard nothing in return, eventually I had to give up.” Jessica felt the hurt wash over her as if the words were fresh in her ears. She had locked all this pain away for so long. One sighting of Troy had opened up old wounds.
Jessica shuddered as a loud bolt of lightning and thunder rumbled across the darkened sky. It added to the somber mood in the air.
“Geez, Jess, I never suspected that Graeme wasn’t Conner’s dad.” Max shook her head. Disbelief written all over her face.
“Graeme loved Conner from day one.” Jessica smiled, remembering back to university and what seemed a lifetime ago. Those first few years with Conner were tough. Her life was filled with nothing but him and study. She rar
ely went to parties or out with friends. Seeing Graeme on the bus and studying together was her only form of social life.
Conner needed a father and Graeme was kind, loving and had a decent family. “He was all I could ever want for Conner—a father who was going to be there for him. We married after university and moved back here for work when Conner was five. I made new friends and a new life. No one needed to know the finer details.”
“How dare you keep a secret like this from me?” Max playfully punched Jessica in the arm.
“I’m so sorry I’ve never told you.” Jessica let out a huge sigh of relief. Finally her best friend knew. “It’s been one of the biggest hurdles to overcome and my motivation in establishing my career. I wanted to ensure people saw me as the best in my field—not the silly teenage girl who got pregnant.
“For years I have been heading out to Gumtrees. Troy’s the last person I would have expected to turn up. And now he’s working there?”
“What?” Max’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. “Oh! This just gets better. Your past has more twists in it than a French braid. What did you say to him?”
“Nothing. I flipped out. I ran off. Literally.” Jessica had played out so many scenarios in her head on what she’d do and say if she ever saw him again. None of them came to fruition.
“I’ve never known you to walk away from anything.” Max’s eyes were full of concern as she looked at Jessica. “I think you need to talk to Troy. You’ve finally found him after all these years.”
Jessica closed her eyes and bit down hard upon her lip. “I know. The thought of talking to him after all this time is just scaring the hell out of me. What do I say to someone who abandoned not only me but his son as well? I need to sort this mess out in my head, and then I suppose I’ll have to arrange to go and see him.”
Jessica looked down at her hands in her lap and twisted the throw rug that lay across her legs into knots. “Conner has his eyes, Max. Every day of his life I looked into them and saw Troy. And now he’s back.”
“Maybe he has a good explanation or excuse. I’ve heard a lot of them in my court cases.” Max’s eyes widened with intrigue and she jovially hit one of Jessica’s throw cushions. “He might have come up with something new.”
Jessica tried not to roll her eyes at Max’s optimistic outlook on everything.
Max leaned over to the coffee table, grabbed the bottle of wine and refilled their glasses as the setting sun broke through the clearing storm clouds. Mist swirled across the icy harbor waters in the distance as the cold winter’s night started to set in. Max finally knowing her secret felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from Jessica’s shoulders. She inhaled deeply and took a long, soothing sip of her wine. Her phone vibrated on the coffee table. She picked it up and read the text message. It was from Nate.
When can I see you again? Dinner?
“Crap.” Jessica’s shoulders sank and she rubbed her forehead with her hand. She couldn’t deal with him as well right now.
“What is it?” Max reached out and touched Jessica’s leg.
Just when Jessica got her head above the water, something dragged her back down under. She’d never been like this … all emotional, not knowing what to do.
“It’s Nate. He wants to see me again.”
“And?” Max grinned widely.
“I can’t see him again. He’s my client.”
“Mr ComeFuckMe just sent you a text to see him and you’re turning him down?”
“Don’t call him that.” Jessica couldn’t help but smile at the vision of Nate in her mind. “But yes. I have to.”
Max looked disappointed. “Well then, what are you going to do about Troy?”
“I don’t know. Conner knows Graeme isn’t his dad. We’ve always been honest with him. Conner’s strong-willed and has never suffered any identity issues. Well, not that I know of.”
Max took Jessica’s hand and squeezed it tightly. “Conner is a grown man. He might want to meet Troy, knowing he’s around. Plus, after all this time, Jess, don’t you want to know where Troy’s been and what happened?”
Chapter 6
Breathing deeply, Jessica tried to calm the uneasiness brewing in the pit of her stomach as she headed in to meet with Nate and his team. Surely she’d be able to find a quiet moment during a break or something to apologize to him. Then she’d be able to carry on with business as if nothing had happened. Holding her shoulders back, she said hello to everyone present and took her seat at the head of the table. Nate slid into the chair next to her. Jessica tried with all her might to refrain from looking at him and focus her attention on the other people in the room. Lin with news on sourcing international artists to perform as part of the entertainment; Matt with his round of new designs. And then there were her promotional schedules to present. But all the while she could feel the magnetic pull of Nate’s eyes. She needed more distance away from him—feet, not inches. His smell and his presence made it hard not to fantasize. And even harder not to think about how good he looked in his charcoal suit, or how his sky-colored shirt made his eyes look even bluer. Oh, how she would like to tear off every layer of his clothing …
“Jessica?” The sound of her name pulled her from her inappropriate thoughts.
“I’m sorry, what was the question?” She dropped her pen and looked around.
“I’d like to hear those new ideas of yours you mentioned last week,” Nate said as he flipped through his documentation. “But first, can we take a quick ten-minute tea break? Those pastries Zoe brought in look delicious.”
“Sure. That sounds good.” Yes, tea was what she needed. Strong tea.
She finished writing down some notes from the meeting while the staff made drinks, grabbed some food and drifted to the far end of the room to stretch their legs.
Jessica stood to make her way over to the bench. “Would you like anything, Nate?”
“Tea, would be lovely. The stronger the better.”
That’d be right! Yet another thing they had in common.
Jessica grabbed two bright orange Kick-logoed cups and searched through the tea box for her favorite flavor. She placed the bags in the mugs, poured in boiling water and waited for them to brew.
“I like mine white, one sugar,” Nate whispered in her ear as he came up and stood behind her. Jessica jumped at his close proximity. His warm breath made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end and goosebumps shoot down her arm. He was so close—barely an inch away from brushing up against her hip. She found it difficult to concentrate and her hands trembled as she scooped in the sugar and stirred in some milk.
“I apologize for not having any loose leaf tea today, but we’ve unfortunately run out. I’ll send Zoe to the shops later.”
“I’ll forgive you just this once.” He winked.
“Oh no, the tag fell off,” she fretted as she fished around in his cup with a spoon trying to dish out the tea bag.
She looked up at Nate and saw concern drawn across his face.
“Is there something wrong?” she asked.
“No. It’s nothing. Just a silly old superstition.” He shrugged. “When the tag falls off, it’s supposed to mean that you will lose something major within the next week.”
“Well, as long it’s not your business, I have nothing to fear.” She tried to make light of his comment, but damn it, he’d planted a seed. Now she was going to worry endlessly about what could possibly happen over the next seven days.
“Well, you can rest easy. I’m not going anywhere,” said Nate.
“Good.” She took a sip of her tea. “Are you generally superstitious?”
“My grandmother was. She was convinced one’s whole life could be determined by making a pot of tea and by tasseography, the reading of the leaves in the bottom of the cup.”
He sounded so genuine that Jessica wondered whether the man before her was sane or not, as she placed her empty cup on the tray. Everyone had their own quirks, well, this was obviously
Nate’s.
“So do you believe in them?” she asked.
“I’m trying not to.” He smiled as he drained his cup.
“Here, let me take that for you.”
As she reached for his cup, her fingers softly swept over his, sending a sizzling sensation up her arm and down her spine. Her eyes turned sharply toward his. She tried to open her mouth to speak, but words failed her. His stance straightened as he quickly pulled his hand away, turned and went back to the table.
Jessica faced the bench to make herself another drink. Her head was reeling. Nate was making her lose her mind. I can’t work like this. I can’t think straight around him.So much for pretending nothing had happened. It was clearly not working. She would have to talk to Alex about swapping accounts before she did something else she’d regret. Surely Alex would understand.
* * *
“Jess, are you up for lunch?” Nate asked as the meeting concluded. He needed the chance to apologize for his behavior the other night. Was she just going to ignore what happened?
“Sorry, I have a client meeting with Audi.”
“No we don’t,” Darren interjected. “It’s not until tomorrow.”
Nate hid his smile as he saw Jessica flare her eyes in Darren’s direction. “Lunch it is then.”
“Right.” She hesitated, looking anxious. “Well then, I’ll just be a moment and grab my handbag.”
Nate stood with his hands in his pockets while he waited for her in the reception area. What was taking her so long?
Sleeping with Jessica had been at the forefront of his mind ever since it happened. In a moment of madness, he’d thought his simple plan to sleep with her would make all these crazy feelings disappear. But he hadn’t been prepared for her to respond to him the way she did. It was like nothing he had ever experienced before. It made his mind spin like a roulette wheel. Bet on black—he’d put the incident out of his mind and act like the consummate gentleman. Bet on red—he’d strip her down and do it again. He jumped between the two every split second, unable to decide where to place his bet.
