“Spill it, lady,” I say, not letting her off the hook.
“In my defense, I didn’t know you had a thing for tattoos or I totally would have told you earlier,” she says, the words now coming out at a rapid pace. “And I didn’t even know until a few months ago. Isn’t it interesting that he has this whole bad-boy vibe under his neatly pressed business suits?”
It is, and it’s something that I’ve wanted to ask him. And it’s not like it’s just a few tattoos that he might have got on a whim on his 18th birthday. These are works of art across his back and arm. But instead of showing them off, he many times hides them.
I wonder what else he’s hiding? How many layers are there to Ben Jameson? I want to know them all.
“So is it official between you two?” Scarlett asks.
I shake my head. “No. And it probably won’t be”
“Why!” Tori yells, likely waking up Evan and the entire neighborhood. “What is wrong with him? He is absolutely fucking perfect!”
“If he is so perfect why didn’t you date him?” Annabelle asks, teasing in her voice.
“Because… oh, you know why. Kalum and his magical tongue had me under a spell. But we aren’t talking about me.”
I sigh, knowing she is right. He is perfect. Good job. Good looking. A hint of a bad boy. Smart. Funny. What else could a girl want?
Nothing. A girl could want nothing else. But a guy like Ben would absolutely want someone more than a woman who can’t promise a forever.
“It’s not him. It’s me.” I say honestly.
“Bullshit,” Tori says, taking a healthy drink of her wine.
“What she said,” Scarlett adds before going to check on a now crying Evan.
“Why would you say that?” Annabelle asks, always the good cop to Tori’s bad.
“Because I’m not in the space to have a relationship. My work is too much. I don’t have room right now for anything serious. And Ben knows this. We’re just… keeping it casual.”
They all give me a look at that says they don’t believe me, but none of them press the issue, which I’m grateful for.
Or at least I thought.
“But seriously, you aren’t falling for him in the slightest?” Tori presses.
I want to play it off and be cool, but apparently I can’t. That’s the power he already has over me.
“I didn’t say that. How could a woman not?”
When we had our raincheck steak dinner date this week, he showed up at my apartment with my favorite candy. All because I quickly mentioned during our texting conversation that day that I had a craving for the peanut butter chocolate goodness that is Reeses Pieces.
It’s the little things that are making me swoon. He’s sweet. And handsome. And if I’m not careful, I could fall head over heels for him.
“When are you two going to see each other again?” Annabelle asks.
“We are actually going to spend the day together tomorrow,” I say, a smile I’m sure taking over my face by the thought of spending all day with Ben.
“When you see him, can you do me a favor?” Tori asks.
“Sure?”
“Can you find out his middle name for me? The asshole won’t tell me.”
Chapter 11
Ben
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“It was my idea. Of course I want to do this.”
“I know… it’s just… I didn’t know if this was one of those things that you are doing because you think I’ll like it. Which I will. But if you won’t like it then I won’t like it.”
I pull Amanda into me, placing a kiss on her lips to shut her up. I mean, I would have kissed her anyway, but this was as good of a reason as any.
I pull away, leaving her a bit breathless. “I would not have suggested this if I wouldn’t have liked it. Honestly, I would be here by myself if you weren’t with me. So quit stalling and let’s do this.”
She goes up on her tiptoes, giving me one more quick kiss. “Alright. Let’s go get us some fall things.”
In the summer, I’m no stranger to a farmer’s market. But in the fall, wild horses couldn’t keep me away from a good fall festival. Food, beverages, home decor, as well as homemade snacks… put all those together and you pretty much have a perfect Saturday. I realize that by saying that I sound like the most basic white girl ever, but I’m confident enough in my masculinity to admit that I’m down for some fall fun.
Other men are too, they just won’t admit it. I know this because each year when I bring a new candle to the office, at least three of my male coworkers try to nonchalantly smell it.
I’m sure that over the years when I’ve come alone, people have probably questioned my sexuality, or wondered why a man in his 30s would be wandering around a fall festival alone. I couldn’t care less. Life is too short to not do what makes you happy.
And right now, my happy is buying my weight in chocolate covered pretzels while Amanda sniffs candles.
“What do you think of this one?” she asks, holding one to my nose that has the perfect mix of apple and spice.
“If you don’t buy that, I will,” I say, trying out one for myself that has smells like I’m at a campfire.
“I was thinking of putting this in the living room. I already feel relaxed just thinking about it.”
And just like that, I’m picturing the two of us cuddled on the couch, that candle lit and Amanda laying in my arms. What would start as a quiet evening would soon escalate to a hot as fuck makeout session, which then would lead to me doing all of the things to her I’ve been dying to do for weeks now.
Kalum couldn’t believe that Amanda and I hadn’t slept together yet. I told him that not everyone was him and Tori, and it would happen when it was supposed to.
But now that we’ve waited, I’m beginning to wonder when that right time will be.
At first, I was just being a gentleman. I didn’t want her to think all I was after was sex. But as the dates have piled up, the touches have become more deliberate and the kissing is more heated, I don’t know how much longer I can wait.
I’m hoping that after a day at the festival, followed by dinner tonight, that it will end with dessert at my place. Or hers. Right now I really don’t care. I want to say my need for Amanda is because I haven’t had sex in so long, but it’s not that. It’s Amanda.
“So when did you become such a lover of fall festivals?” she asks, grabbing for my hand as we walk away from the candle vendor toward the apple cider.
“My mom used to bring me all the time when I was a kid. She said it was something she didn’t have growing up, or that I didn’t have in my early years, and she wanted to make up for it.”
“I thought you grew up in Naperville?” she asks.
“I did. Mostly. My mom grew up in the city and moved to Naperville with my dad when I was about 5. Did you live in the city your whole life?”
She nods as we move up a bit in line. “I did. My dad wanted to move me to the suburbs, but we could never afford it. He actually still lives in the same apartment I grew up in. It might not have been the safest neighborhood, but it was familiar. We knew who we could trust. He also knew that when he was at work he had three bodyguards on standby.”
I laugh, thinking of younger versions of Kalum, Maverick and Jaxson ready to beat up the first guy to get in Amanda’s way. Though I’m pretty sure, even then, she could have taken them.
As soon as we grab our apple ciders, a gust of cold wind hits us, nearly knocking us over. It’s then that I look at the sky and realize that it is getting very dark, very quick.
It was NOT supposed to rain today.
“We better make a run for it,” Amanda says, adjusting our hands and our bags, pulling me in a sprint back to my car.
I didn’t realize how far away we parked, but I don’t think it would have mattered. About 20 yards into our run, the skies open and rain soaks us in an instant. We stop, look at each other, and laugh before making our way back
to my car, looking like wet rats by the time we get there.
I hurry to unlock the car and we both pile in, only then truly taking in our appearance. Her mascara is running down her face and her hair is matted to her head. My clothes are sticking to every inch of me and I’m pretty sure there is a puddle in my shoe.
And all we can do is laugh.
“I didn’t think it was supposed to rain,” she says, holding her hands in front of the vents to try and warm them up.
“It wasn’t. I checked 10 times. Which now ruins the plans I had for the rest of the day.”
She turns to me, tucking a leg underneath while grabbing for my hand. “What did you have in mind?”
I brush a strand of wet hair behind her ear, letting my hand trace down the side of her face. “I wanted to take you to a nice dinner, but I’m thinking of other plans right now.”
“So… now what do you have in mind?” she asks, leaning into my touch.
“How about we go back to my place and light one of these candles?”
She giggles before turning and taking my hand, placing a kiss on the inside of my wrist.
“I think that’s the best idea you’ve had today.”
Chapter 12
Amanda
Thank God I shaved my legs.
That’s the only thing I could think of as Ben drove us to his house, which is just outside the city. I know I should be trying to focus on other things -- like remembering if I know what to do if the night goes where I think it’s going -- but for some reason, that’s the only thought that runs through my head.
By the time we pull into his driveway, the nerves I didn’t let myself feel over the last 30 minutes are now in full force. I know that he’s a good kisser and that we click very well in that department. But what if he likes things I don’t? Or that I’m too aggressive? Not aggressive enough? What if he starts sucking on my toes? Not that there’s anything wrong with that… but… that’s a hard pass for me.
“Hey, you OK?” he asks. The car is shut off and I’m pretty sure I look like a deer in headlights as my mind is going in 22 different directions.
“Yeah! Yeah… Totally... I’m fine. Just… well, I…”
He leans over and places a gentle kiss on my lips, calming my nerves.
“Hey. Whatever happens tonight happens. We do whatever you are comfortable with.”
I let out a breath, feeling silly. It’s not like I’m a virgin. I might not have the experience of most, but I can hang. It’s just been… a damn long time.
The rain has stopped, so I take my time getting out of the car and following him to his door. This isn’t the first time I’ve been to his house, but each time I’m here, I feel like this is a house that’s not supposed to be one for a single man in his 30s. No, this is a house for a family.
As soon as I take off my shoes and socks, both still soaked from the impromptu storm, I feel him behind me, his arms snaking around my waist, bringing me against his hard chest as he places a kiss on my ear. The place he knows drives me absolutely insane.
“I thought we were only doing what I wanted?” I ask playfully, my body already feeling the effects of his touch.
“We are,” he says, nibbling and sucking gently on my lobe. “But you’ve never not wanted this, so I figured this was a safe play.”
I turn around, linking my hands behind his neck, bringing him in so I can kiss him properly. I love kissing this man. Ben is the perfect mix of hard and soft, sweet and aggressive. And with one swoop of his tongue against my lips, parting mine to give me complete control of my mouth, every doubt I had in the car melts away.
Like a switch flicks on for both of us, our kiss turns intense. Hands are now roaming under our shirts, both of us desperate to feel each other’s skin. We still might be cold from the rain, but our bodies are hot to the touch.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen your room,” I say, breaking our kiss just enough to tell him what I want. Hoping he understands what I need.
He doesn’t say anything, instead scooping me up under my legs, carrying me up his stairs to his master bedroom.
“Put me down,” I say giggling, though I really don’t want him to. “I’m going to break you.”
He tosses me down on the bed, quickly putting himself on top of me, placing a hard kiss on my already swollen lips.
“You will not break me,” he says, now scattering kisses across my neck. “There’s more to me under the button downs Amanda.”
And in case I forgot it, he quickly reminds me that a whole different Ben exists underneath his clothes. He sits on his knees, unbuttoning his shirt, and I don’t know what I want to look at first. I’m drawn to his sculpted stomach… his cut abs that not many would think exist under his clothes. Then I remember the tattoos that adorn his arms. The deliberate ink that I’ve been dying to explore.
But before I can get lost in the sight that is a nearly naked Ben, his hands move to my stomach, bringing my sweater over my head, exposing the lace bra that I wore in hopes that he would get to see it tonight.
“Fuck Amanda,” his voice is gravelly as he says my name, his mouth quickly finding the curves of my breasts as he begins kissing and sucking my nipples through the fabric of my bra.
The sensation is one I’ve never felt before. The fabric pressing against me underneath his mouth is making me crazy. My hips are grinding against his growing erection and holy fuck… I might not be able to see it yet but I now know without a shadow of a doubt that Ben Jameson is more than well endowed.
He’s fucking huge.
I don’t know when he does it, but somehow my bra is now off and he’s unzipping my jeans. I’m now laying naked in front of this man, but instead of feeling exposed, I feel wanted. Desired. The look in his eyes right now letting me know that in no uncertain terms that he wants me.
“Am I going to be the only one naked?” I ask, a flirtatious tone coming through in my voice that I didn’t know existed.
“No. But not yet. I need to do something else first.”
His hands graze down my stomach before finding my center. I’m already soaked for him, my body having a reaction to his touches that I’ve never had before. He inserts a finger in me, immediately finding a spot I didn’t know existed.
“Ah!”
He continues to work my inside with his finger, building my orgasm slowly and methodically. I can feel it brewing inside me, but it’s not enough. I need more.
I bring my hands to my chest, playing with my nipples. Though I did it to heighten my pleasure, by the look in his eyes, this is doing more for Ben than it is for me. And it’s doing a hell of a lot for me.
“Ben… I’m close… More… please more.”
“You like to beg Amanda? Tell me what you want. Tell me how you want me to make you come.” Ben’s words have a tone to them that is fucking sexy. Demanding. Raw.
He was right. There is more to this man than appearances give.
“Two… two fingers… I need more…”
“You want me to fuck you with two fingers?” His question is rhetorical as he adds another digit, making my hips buck from the bed. Holy fuck this man knows how to use his hands.
Though I don’t ask for it, Ben increases the speed and it’s... everything. I’m right on the cusp, about to dive over the hill but I can’t… I’m so close.
“Ben… please… I need to come.”
Answering my plea, he positions himself so his face is now between my legs, and that does it. One lick at my center has me exploding. The orgasm seems never-ending as Ben continues to suck on my pussy, slowing his fingers as he brings me down from the most intense orgasm of my life.
Breathless and spent, I look at Ben as he now lays next to me, licking his fingers one by one.
Holy shit that was fucking hot.
“That was amazing,” I say. Though I don’t think the words do what we just did justice.
“No… you are amazing. And you taste…” he places the last of his fingers in his mout
h, slowly sucking off my release. “Even better.”
Oh my. Not only is Ben Jameson hiding tattoos... he’s also hiding a sexual freak.
And I’m not going to lie. I fucking love it.
Chapter 13
Ben
I didn’t know it was physically possible to wake up with a smile on your face. But here I am, my eyes not even open, and I’m already having the best morning in recent memory.
And it’s all because of the best night… maybe ever.
If I had to go through a seven-month dry spell for it to end the way it did last night with Amanda, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
Holy hell that was the most incredible sexual experience of my life.
Actually, it was the most incredible night of my life. Period.
I have always hated sex with a partner for the first time. It’s not that I didn’t want to do it, but I have always found it awkward. You don’t know what works for each other. You don't know which way they are going to go. I’ve always made sure my partner is satisfied, but sometimes it takes work. And I don’t mind the work, but yeah… most relationships don’t last long enough to find out what you or your partner truly likes.
But last night with Amanda was the opposite of work. It was pleasure in its purest form. The way our bodies came together was a religious experience. Though I’m pretty sure the things we said to each other would put us on a direct train to Hell.
Just the thought of it has my dick growing hard again. But as I reach for Amanda, hoping for maybe a repeat morning performance, I realize her side of the bed is empty.
My eyes are now wide open and yes, I’m alone in my bed.
Did she leave? I know she’s made it clear that she’s not ready for a relationship, but I didn’t think she would be the type of person to ghost me after our first night together. Not after what we shared. Because she’d have to be dead to not feel what we shared last night.
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