When I look at Tori she’s looking at me like I’ve grown a second head.
“What?”
“That’s what you’re getting your girlfriend on your first Christmas together? I’m ashamed of you Benjamin Albert. It’s like I taught you nothing.”
“First of all, wrong again on the middle name. Second, what’s the matter with those? They are things that she would love and appreciate. I thought I was doing good!”
The look Tori gives me tells me that she doesn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth. And neither do I. Honestly? I’m ashamed of my lack of creativity. I’m the King of Christmas. I’m always the guy you want to draw your name in Secret Santa exchanges because I’m that good. Tickets for a show and a puzzle? That is weak, especially on my standards.
I thought about booking us a vacation where I can see my girl in a bikini during the day and a fancy dress at night. But then she told me that vacation requests had to be put in months in advance, so I tossed out that idea.
She has often made mention of how much she enjoyed her spa day that she went on last year with Tori, Scarlett, and Annabelle. But that’s not Christmas. That’s something I’d get her when I knew she was having a rough week.
Every idea sounded worse than the last, and I know it’s because what I really want to get her would be a sure-fire bet that I’m single by New Years.
“You know your ideas are shit. So what gives? Don’t tell me you’re thinking about breaking up with her. I swear to God if you say those words I will punch you in your dick.”
“Oh God no. Not at all,” though she’s wrong, my dick still shrivels up to hide. Just in case. “I just… well… can I ask you something?”
Tori finishes up her purchase and we make our way out of the store, finding a few seats at the nearby food court.
“You know you can talk to me about anything. I make you come shopping with me and you have to carry my bags. The least I can do is play therapist.”
“When did you know that Kalum was the one?”
Most of the time, Tori would come back at me with some smartass comment about how she knew the second her husband went down on her, or some perverted shit like that. And even though this woman is cruder than most men… she’s always a great reader of people. And right now she knows that I need my friend.
“I knew the day I met you.”
I figured that might be her answer, but I let her continue. “When I realized that Annabelle and Scarlett were trying to set us up, my first thought was about Kalum and what he would think. We were trying to keep it on the down low, but I didn’t want him to think I was seeing other guys. My second thought was that I didn’t want to be out with you. Well, not in that way. I didn’t want to be with anyone besides him. Because he was it for me.”
Did I have that moment with Amanda? It might not have been as pronounced as Tori and Kalum’s, but there were many small moments that I knew I was done for other women. How she reacted when that girl hit on me at the bar on Halloween. How much I missed her when she was gone for that month -- the longest month of my life. The relief that flooded through me when she came back from that assignment unscathed.
Yeah. She was it for me.
But just as sure as I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with her, there’s a loud voice in my head saying that this is too soon. That she needs more time. And plus, proposing marriage on Christmas is cliche as fuck. And if anything… I am not cliche.
“Thanks Tori. I appreciate this.” I stand up and grab our bags. “Now, are you ready to help me shop?”
She smiles, grabbing her purse and hooking her arm through mine. “Absolutely. What are we getting your girl? Please don’t tell me it’s an engagement ring because as much as I love you both, it’s too soon, you know that right?”
I smile down at my best friend and thank that unknown turn of events for bringing her into my life.
“Come on. You know I’m not that predictable. But I have an idea. And I need your help.”
Chapter 30
Amanda
Christmas for me has always been a quiet day. I’d wake up in the morning, go to my dad’s for gifts and an early dinner before heading home for a quiet night. Hell, when I first became a cop I’d always volunteer for the night shift so the guys with families didn’t have to worry about reporting for duty.
But today? This Christmas is unlike any Christmas I’ve ever had.
It began last night with the now annual Christmas Eve get together at Scarlett and Maverick’s. The adults had a very inappropriate White Elephant gift exchange while we showered Grant and Evan with more fitting presents.
This morning I woke up to Ben’s face between my legs, which I must say, is the best Christmas present ever. That was until a few hours later when he gifted me a simple necklace with intricately placed diamonds and a puzzle that was a recreation of a photo of my dad and me.
I felt a little silly only getting him an antique chess set, but considering I was thanked with shower sex, I think our first Christmas was a success.
Today wasn’t just a big day because it was our first Christmas together -- today we were both meeting each other’s families. Tori told us we were crazy. We then reminded her of how Kalum met her parents and she shut up real quick.
Meeting my dad was easy. Well, that is after he got over the initial shock. I wish I could have captured his face when I walked in with Ben -- donning a Christmas sweater vest, dress shirt and khakis. No way did my dad ever picture me with a guy who looked straight out of a Hallmark movie.
But in no time at all, the two were best friends. After a few presents and lunch, I had to pry Ben away from a deep conversation the two were having about the Cubs and the White Sox.
“Well that went well,” Ben says as he pulls away from my dad’s building, heading toward Naperville. “I’m pretty sure your dad loves me.”
“I’m pretty sure you’re the first Cubs fan he’s ever liked.”
“He might have shit taste in baseball teams, but he’s a good guy. And he raised a beautiful, smart woman who I happen to love very much.”
“Oh stop with the lines, Jameson. We are passed the part of you needing to try and woo me.”
“Never baby. Never.”
We sit in comfortable silence for most of the near hour drive out of the city, Christmas carols playing over the radio keeping us entertained. The traffic is light considering the holiday, and the snow hasn’t fallen in a few days, leaving the roads clear. Before I know it, I’m seeing signs for Naperville exits, which makes my entire body go stiff.
“What are you nervous about? They are going to love you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Actually, I do. They already do. Mom says every time I come over how happy I look, which is all they want for me. So, therefore they already like you.”
His words should comfort me, but they don’t. As a cop, I never like going into a situation not knowing what to expect. The few boyfriends I’ve had over the years never made it to the “meet the parents” level. Hell, they never reached the level where I put in their last names in my cell phone.
But here I am, holding a bottle of wine and a bag of presents as I prepare to meet my boyfriend’s parents on Christmas.
I might vomit.
Four hours later, I still might vomit. But it’s not from the nerves or the unknown. It’s from the insane amount of food Cathleen and Frank Jameson have fed me tonight.
I’m so glad I wore leggings today.
“Who wants pie?” Cathleen asks, clearing away the last of the dinner plates from the table.
“Mom, can you give us five minutes to digest what we just ate? Why did you cook for the entire neighborhood?”
“Probably because your mother wanted to impress Amanda, and that meant cooking a feast for the ages.”
I laugh out of embarrassment. “Mrs. Jameson, you didn’t have to do that. I’m not much of a cook and will eat pretty much anything. But thank you. It w
as all delicious.”
“Amanda, what did I tell you about calling me Mrs. Jameson? It’s Cathleen. Now you two go relax in the living room while I finish cleaning up.”
“Nonsense,” Frank stands up, taking the plates from Cathleen’s hands and places a kiss on her cheek. “You cooked and Amanda is our guest. Ben and I will clean up. You ladies go relax.”
Cathleen returns the kiss and it might be the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. You can tell their love is still going strong after years together. It’s inspiring. And I don’t know if it’s the holiday or my confirmed feelings toward Ben, but it makes me think about the future. About an older Ben kissing me after Christmas dinner, our children home with the loves of their lives.
Thoughts like that should freak me out. Marriage? Kids? Growing old with someone? I never thought I would want any of that. But in just a few short months, Ben has opened my mind to all of those possibilities.
What would our kids look like? Would they take after me and have my blonde hair? Or would they look like the little boy staring back at me from the picture on the wall -- the boy who has to be a younger Ben.
“He was about 2-years-old then, and that… that is his brother Aiden. I’m guessing Ben has told you about him?” I nod as Cathleen looks at the picture of her two sons, a sadness in her eyes. “We were still living in the city. While I don’t regret for a second about leaving that neighborhood, I do miss certain parts about it.”
“I grew up in the city and I know sometimes it wasn’t the safest place, but I can’t imagine growing up anywhere else.”
I don’t know if I’m supposed to continue this conversation or not, but I couldn’t if I wanted to, because I can’t stop staring at this picture. The boy with Ben, Aiden, has a face I know I’ve seen before. I know Ben said his brother was 12 years older than he was, which would make this boy 14 at the time of the picture. I feel like I’ve seen an older version of him somewhere, but hell if I can put my finger on it.
“I grew up in the same neighborhood when I had Aiden, and then Ben,” Cathleen says as we walk to the living room, each taking a seat on the couch. “Before I met Frank, living on the wrong side of the tracks never scared me. And even when I had Aiden, I did my best, but I knew there was a good chance he could get wrapped up with the wrong people. Which he did.”
She takes a breath and it’s almost like she gets lost in her memory.
“I blamed myself for a long time, that him getting into trouble was because I refused to move when he was younger. That was until I met Frank… he helped me realize that I did the best I could. Yeah, maybe I should have made his father stay away and not be a bad influence, but I knew he’d be around no matter what I said. And yes, I could have moved. But to a different neighborhood to another shitty apartment and a different brand of violence? At least I was dealing with the devil I knew.”
I nodded, knowing that’s exactly how my father felt. “My dad battled the same demons. He always wanted me in a better part of town. And when I asked him why he couldn’t move, he’d always try and lighten the mood by saying that we could, but I couldn’t have Mr. Abruzzi’s pizza anymore, and that was enough to keep me quiet.”
“Did you say Mr. Abruzzi’s pizza?” I nod, confused by her question. “I would give my right arm for a slice of his pizza. I haven’t had it in about 25 years.”
Now it’s my turn to be confused. “You’ve had Mr. Abruzzi’s pizza? On 63rd Street?”
“Absolutely I have. Remember when I said I missed the little things? Mr. Abruzzi’s pizza was one of them. Do you know the place?”
“Yeah… I grew up in the building next to it.”
“Well, I’ll be damned… what a small world. I was across the street. How crazy is that!”
“How crazy is what?” Ben asks, he and Frank coming back into the living room after finishing the dishes.
“Did you know that you and Amanda could have possibly known each other as kids if we hadn’t moved? Our buildings were right across the street from each other!”
I don’t know what else they say. Right now it all sounds like the teacher from the Peanuts.
I know Cathleen was confiding in me and giving me some background on Ben and his family. And I appreciate it. As the woman who is meeting her boyfriend’s parents for the first time, I should be over the moon that she felt comfortable enough to share all of that with me.
But right now I’m not in girlfriend mode. I’m in cop mode. Because I think I now know why Aiden looked so familiar.
I think he’s part of the reason I’m a detective.
Chapter 31
Ben
“I don’t know how yesterday could have been more of a success.”
“Mmmm hmmm. Less talky. More sleepy.”
I chuckle as I bring a half-sleeping Amanda into my arms. We got home late from my parents house and we immediately passed out, the events of the day finally catching up to us.
It might have been a long day, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a better Christmas. And that’s including the one when I got a car. Meeting her dad went awesome. My parents are in love with her.
But not as in love with her as I am.
The slight snores coming from Amanda mean she’s not waking up anytime soon, so I slip my arm from under her head and make sure she’s situated before I go to take care of my morning business.
Almost two hours later, Sleeping Beauty finally stumbles from the bedroom, looking like she could have slept another two hours if she wanted to.
“Everything OK?”
She nods, walking straight to the coffee maker, pouring herself a cup before sitting next to me on the couch.
“What is it?” Her silence is concerning. Amanda isn’t necessarily a morning person, but she’s usually not mute.
“Nothing. I’m fine.”
If there is one thing I’ve learned from being a boyfriend and having Tori as my best friend, is that the words “nothing” and “fine” definitely mean the absolute opposite.
I turn to face her, only to see her staring straight through her cup of coffee. “Baby. Talk to me. What’s the matter? Did something happen yesterday? I thought we had a good day.”
She looks up at me, and I thought until right then I knew every one of Amanda’s looks. I knew her hungry look. I knew her horny look. Hell, I even knew her I’m-about-to-start-my-period look, which I also knew was the don’t-fuck-with-me look.
But this one? This one is new. It’s like she’s lost.
She lets out a sigh, realizing that I’m not going to drop it. “Why didn’t you ever tell me that we grew up in the same neighborhood?”
OK... out of all the things I thought she might say, that was the last thing I expected.
“What? That’s what has you all moody today?”
She shoots me a look, and this is one I’m familiar with. This is the I’m-in-deep-shit look.
“I’m not moody. I’m simply asking a question. Did you know or realize that we grew up literally across the street from each other?”
I don’t answer right away, because though I don’t know why this is even a conversation, she is apparently very concerned about it. And I don’t want to get another deep-shit-look. Usually, two of those in a row mean soon comes the you-aren’t-getting-any-tonight look.
“I knew that I had grown up likely around the same neighborhood as you and the guys, but no, I did not know that we were literally neighbors for the first few years of our lives. Like I told you, I was in Naperville by the time I started school, and even before then, I have barely any memories of my life before we moved. I definitely didn’t remember a beautiful blonde girl.”
“Don’t try to be smooth. It won’t work.”
But the slight smile on her face says otherwise.
“Honestly baby, I had a feeling, but I had no clue. I hadn’t talked to Kalum, Jaxson or Maverick about it. I really didn’t think it was a big deal.”
“It’s not… it just… it took me off guard. I�
��m sorry I overreacted about it.”
I place a kiss on her head and bring her into my arms.
“How crazy is it though that we were that close to each other all those years ago?” she says, finally relaxing into my hold.
“Right? We could have been childhood sweethearts.”
For some reason that makes her laugh. “Ben. I love you. I really do. But I very much doubt that a little boy in khakis and playing chess would have fit in with our crowd.”
“True. I probably would have had to fight for your attention with Aiden. He would have been my bad boy older brother that all the girls would have had crushes on.”
I don’t know what makes her go still in my arms, but just when I thought we were turning a corner, she’s now back to the tense woman who came out of my bedroom an hour ago.
“Did I say something wrong?”
“No. Not at all… why did Aiden stay behind when you moved to Naperville?”
“He wanted to stay with his dad. From what my mom told me, he was already acting out and getting into trouble. She wanted to help him, but at the same time, he was 17 when we moved. She knew he would have left the second he turned 18.”
We sit in silence for a few seconds, and I think the conversation is over before she asks me a question I never thought she would.
“What did he do?”
“You mean you don’t know?” I thought for sure she would have looked into his file by now.
“No. I drew the line. I wanted cop Amanda and girlfriend Amanda to be separate. So I… I figured you’d tell me when you were ready. But now… after seeing pictures of him yesterday, I guess I’m curious.”
“He… he and his father got wrapped up with the mob. They got involved in a money laundering case. He still won’t tell me what his involvement was, but I know that he and a bunch of other guys went down for it.”
Amanda doesn’t say anything, and I honestly think that she’s fallen back asleep. But then I look down, and her eyes are so wide I question when was the last time she blinked.
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