by N. C. Reed
Silent tears were streaming down her face now as she listened, still and quiet.
“So yes,” he finished. “I loved you with all I had. You were the only person I have ever done that with. You were the first, and you will be the last. I can't do it again. Go through it again. I won't.”
“I am so sorry,” she finally said softly. “I am so very, very sorry Parno. If I had one wish I would take it all back and make it like it never happened. I swear it. I hope that one day you can forgive me.”
“I already have,” he told her, careful to keep his voice cool. He wasn't offering her any false hope. “I can't carry that around with me. It would cripple me. I made a mistake, that's all. But I'll learn from it, and be stronger for it, one day. So, don't let it weigh you down. Let it go and forget it. I forgive you, completely and without reservation.”
She wanted to go to him but realized from his body language that he wouldn't accept her. Not anymore.
“What do we do now?” she asked instead.
“You go home in the morning,” Parno said at once. “Go back to the Palace and being Memmnon's doctor and I guess teaching or whatever you choose to do. What you do is up to you. You get to choose.”
“And you?” she asked.
“I don't get a choice,” he replied. “I have to stay here and try to find a way to win an unwinnable war.”
“That's not what I meant, Parno,” her voice was strained.
“That's all there is now, Doctor,” he refused to use her name. Deep down he felt like he was being childish in some way but he couldn't help it. He wasn't going to open himself up to her again. He couldn't.
“So, that's it then,” she nodded, getting slowly to her feet. “I make one mistake and we're done.”
“It was my mistake, not yours,” he told her gently. “Go home. Build a life you can enjoy and be happy with. I... I’ll try and make sure you get the chance to do that,” he stood as well. “I wish you a safe journey home. I hope your travels go easier than the trip up did.”
“Don't just stand there like nothing is happening,” she told him. “I came here pouring my heart out to you and asking your forgiveness. And this is all you can give me?”
“I told you I forgive you,” Parno tried to sound reasonable. “I don't know what else to say. I don't know what you want me to say. I don't know much of anything anymore,” he admitted suddenly. “I can't do this. I can't be so confused. I have too much riding on me. Too many decisions to make. I need a clear head to do it. It's better this way.”
“Does the serving girl give you a clear head?” she couldn't help herself.
“Good evening, Doctor,” Parno settled for saying rather than sniping back at her. “Captain Sprigs will show you to your tent. Harrel!”
“I know the way,” Stephanie told him.
“And it's dark in the middle of an army camp,” Parno nodded as Sprigs appeared.
“Sir?”
“Have someone show the lady to her quarters please,” Parno said politely. “Good bye, Doctor. I wish you well.”
She didn't say anything else as she left, though she did stop and look back at him once from the door. He was already back to looking over the paperwork spread across his desk. She stood there for a minute, knowing that he was aware she was looking at him, but he never looked up.
“Milady?” Sprigs reminded her he was there and she stepped outside. A young trooper wearing the Regiment's colors was waiting and followed at a discreet distance as she walked in silence back to her tent.
Sprigs watched her go before entering the tent once more.
“Milord, your supper is ready in your tent,” Harrel Sprigs announced softly.
“Is she still there?” Parno asked, knowing already the answer.
“She has not left since she returned,” Sprigs nodded. “I took the liberty of posting two members of the Regiment on guard. Just... in case. A similar guard is set on Lady Willows and Miss Stephanie as well, by her escort.”
“Okay,” Parno sighed. “Is there any reason I can't retire for the evening?” he asked.
“None that has been brought to my attention, milord,” Sprigs replied.
“Then I suppose I'm going to go eat and then try to rest,” Parno told him. “Tomorrow has to be better, right?”
“I'm sure today will look differently tomorrow, sir,” Sprigs settled for saying.
“You could have just agreed with me,” Parno muttered. Sprigs smiled into the growing dark but said nothing else. He looked at the four men following the Prince and laid a finger alongside his nose then shook his head. The Sergeant in charge of the detail nodded and began posting his men around the Prince.
Sprigs decided he would work out and then get some rest himself. Being Prince Parno's assistant could be truly exhausting at times.
-
“Hello, my Prince,” Jaelle said softly as Parno stepped inside his large wall tent. The interior was lit with several candles and there was a sweet-smelling fragrance in the air that he thought he knew but couldn't recognize.
“Jaelle,” he smiled. “How was your day?”
“I should be asking you that,” she said as she helped him out of his jacket. “You have had a very hard day if I am not mistaken. And I have been part of that which made it such a hard day,” she said apologetically. “Please do not be angry with me.”
“I doubt I could ever be angry with you,” Parno admitted with a silent laugh, then kissed her forehead. She hugged him close, just holding him for a moment.
“Jaelle, why would Tinker suddenly tell me he can't do anything for me when I told him what you had said?” Parno asked. She pulled away from him at that, looking up slightly into his eyes.
“What did you ask him?”
“I was just looking for advice,” Parno shrugged. “Your sudden insistence that you be allowed to stay with me even knowing it was so dangerous, and that I wanted you to go back, it confused me. He knows you better than I do so I figured I would ask him what to do.”
“What did he say?” her head tilted slightly to one side as she continued to look at him.
“When I told him what you said he just got up and said he couldn't help, though he wished he could, and that was that. He left me sitting there and went inside.”
“I see,” Jaelle nodded. “He has simply allowed me to make my own choice in this matter,” she told him. “Had he ordered me to return I would have been almost honor bound to do so. Did you ask him to do that?”
“No,” Parno shook his head. “I didn't think it would be fair to him or to you. I wasn't trying to get someone else to do it for me, just... I was just trying to understand.”
“Some things cannot be understood, my lovely Prince,” Jaelle whispered. “You must not try. And surely there is some way Jaelle can comfort you after such a difficult day,” she kissed him softly. When Parno didn't immediately respond she looked up at him, curious.
“Is it because of her?”
“Huh?” Parno was caught by complete surprise at that.
“Is it because of her presence that you do not wish me to be here?” Jaelle asked.
“You mean because of Stephanie?”
“Is that her name?” she asked. It dawned on Parno he'd never told Jaelle either of their names.
“Yes, that is her name, and no, her presence doesn't influence anything between you and I,” he shook his head.
“Then stop brooding my Prince, and allow Jaelle to care for you,” she insisted. “It is little enough that I can do for you. Allow me to do it.”
“Why do you keep saying that?” he asked. “That it's little enough that you can do?”
“Because it is all that I have,” she said, her voice happy despite the conversation. “What I have I give you freely.”
Parno was confused to say the least. What had he done to deserve something like this? To have such a gentle, beautiful woman taking such good care of him? Never had anyone been so intimately kind to him, whether as a child or a t
een or a young adult. Plenty of women had shared his bed, but it had never been more than a tryst to them and normally he was too drunk to care.
This was completely different and it confused him even as he was grateful for it and even aroused by it.
Even as he had that thought he suddenly realized that Jaelle had managed to strip him of his clothes while he stood there, and he was now naked.
“I have a bath prepared for you,” her voice was husky.
“I don't have a... tub...” his voice trailed off as he saw a small tub in one corner of the large tent. Small yes, but a bathing tub nonetheless.
“How did you get that here?” he asked.
“A smile and thank you will often suffice where orders will not,” she replied. “The water is only warm now rather than hot, but it is warm,” she pushed him gently in that direction. “Allow Jaelle to care for you tonight,” she almost cooed. “Tomorrow and the worry it brings will be here soon enough.”
-
“I want to inspect their hospitals tomorrow,” Stephanie said as she and Edema prepared for bed. “While I am here I want to look and see if things are in good order. That will at least have made this trip productive.”
“Very well,” Edema nodded. “It would doubtless be a help for them to have your input.”
“We should still be able to leave by mid-day or so, assuming I find no glaring problems,” Stephanie continued as she brushed her long hair.
“That sounds fine.”
-
“Good evening, General.”
Wilson didn't start this time but his heart missed about three beats as he finished pouring his drink.
“Snort?” he asked the man in the shadows.
“No, thank you,” was the humored reply. “I wanted to tell you that tomorrow might be a very good day for you to attack,” 'Smith' said.
“Tomorrow?” Wilson was stunned. “Do you realize how much time and effort go into preparing an attack of that scale?”
“I do, and I'm not saying you have to. Just that tomorrow might be a good day. At the very least a large demonstration to rattle your enemy. They will very likely be confused and disoriented tomorrow. Say... after lunch, perhaps?”
“What have you done?” Wilson wanted to know.
“Nothing as yet,” he could see the shadow's arms raised in a gesture of innocence. “But something could happen tomorrow. It was just a friendly warning. You know, I think I will have that drink.”
“Of course,” Wilson turned to his small bar and set up another glass. “So, what is it you think will happen tomorrow? I've already passed orders for one of my infantry divisions to move out on an exercise in the morning.” he asked as he poured. Replacing the stopper, he turned to offer the drink to his visitor only to find that he was gone.
“Should have known,” Wilson sighed. “Tomorrow, huh?”
CHAPTER NINE
-
Parno awoke long before sunrise, or even before the bugles began blaring for the Army to rise. A gentle and reassuring presence on his left arm made him smile as he remembered the previous evening. Jaelle had pampered him for much of the evening before 'ensuring' he could sleep. Even in the flickering light of the last burning candles he could see a contented smile on her beautiful face and knew his own probably had matched it.
She had to go. Today. She could not stay any longer because if he allowed her to stay again he wouldn't be able to send her away. He was already smitten with her and he was smart enough to know it. Keeping her here would distract him as well as make her a target if she wasn't already.
He would send her back to the Inn today. After lunch maybe, when things had settled down. Certainly, before supper.
Decision made, he carefully disentangled himself from her and rose. He bathed himself quickly and then dressed for the day. By the time he had finished, bugles were sounding around the camp, rousing soldiers for another day in Army life.
“Good morning, my Prince,” Jaelle's soft arms encircled him suddenly as he finished preparing his uniform.
“Morning,” he turned in her embrace to kiss her. “Sleep well?”
“Very,” she almost purred against his chest. “You must go, I take it?”
“You take it correctly,” Parno actually chuckled. “I must go. I will see you later.”
“Yes,” she nodded. “Have a pleasant morning.”
-
“Morning Captain,” Parno said softly. Jeffrey Winters almost jumped in surprise but managed to stop at the last minute.
“Good morning, milord,” he said instead.
“How is your company?” he asked.
“They would rather be here, of course, but they do their duty splendidly,” Winters replied honestly.
“Still numbering what now, about sixty?” Parno asked.
“Sixty-five, including me, yes sir.
“Have a good second?” Parno asked. “One who could manage a small independent command?”
“Lieutenant Spader, sir,” Winters said at once. “He's young but was with us at the Gap and fought very well. Commended twice for bravery in action.”
“Sounds like just the man,” Parno nodded. “When you reach the palace, I want you to split your command and send one half under Spader's command with Lady Willows. They will become her personal escort and she is to go nowhere without them. Remind him that his job is not to protect her house nor household, but her, and I will hold him responsible for her safety. Understand?”
“Yes milord,” Winters nodded. “Milord, that will leave us very weak if Lady Stephanie wanted to do something such as this again,” he pointed out.
“She didn't want to make this trip,” Parno informed him. “I suspect she will not leave the palace much anymore save for checking on the schools she has started. But, if you see that you can't handle her schedule without help, send a courier and I will send you more help. Spader can send to Cove Canton for help if he finds himself shorthanded. I will include that in dispatches next time.”
“It will be done, milord,” Winters promised.
“Thanks. Please pass my appreciation to your command as well.”
-
“We will be leaving shortly,” Edema met Parno at his command tent, already prepared. “Stephanie wants to visit the hospitals to inspect them before she leaves. I thought that was a good idea.”
“A very good idea,” Parno nodded. “I wish I had thought of it. That's what I mean by distracted,” he added. “My thoughts are addled and I overlook the simplest things like that.”
“We will be gone before long,” Edema promised with a smile.
“Tinker runs an inn near here,” Parno thought to tell her. “A friend of his is running a... a...”
“I've heard the word 'brothel' before, Parno,” Edema laughed at his discomfiture.
“Well, anyway, the place is a functioning inn as well. If you're late enough getting away then you could stop there for lunch before going. The food is decidedly better than ours,” he chuckled.
“I may just do that,” Edema nodded thoughtfully. “What are you going to do about your serving girl, dear boy?” 'Serving girl' wasn't meant as an insult this time.
“She has to go back,” Parno sighed. “Tinker was notoriously close lipped about her when I appealed to him for help yesterday, but... she can't stay. No matter how much she wants to, she can't.”
“My poor, precious, darling boy,” Edema touched his cheek softly. “I promise you Parno, it will not always be this way.”
“From your lips to God's ear,” Parno smiled, catching her hand in both of his and kissing it lightly. “I'm not mad at you,” he told her out of the blue. “Don't go home thinking I am. Regardless of how things turned out, you meant it well for me and that's what I care about. You are the only person in this Kingdom that cares about what is good for me. Outside this army, anyway,” he added. And Jaelle, he didn't add.
“She cares for you too, Parno,” Edema shook her head. “I know that the damage is l
ikely permanent, but remember that she loves you desperately. That desperation was what led to all this. She has cried herself to sleep every night I have spent at her side. I have heard her praying when she thought I was asleep, and she prays most of all for your safety and then that you will forgive her and take her back. I'm not trying to influence you,” she held up a hand to forestall his comment. “I'm simply giving you information, as I did long ago.” She paused.
“Only it wasn't so long ago, really. Was it?” It was more of a statement than a question as she remembered when she had been one of Parno's 'spies'.
“No, it wasn't,” he agreed. “A lot has passed since then and much has changed. But I still love you as I would have loved her,” he kissed Edema's forehead and hugged her gently. “You are the only mother I have even known, Edema Willows. Take the love of a son with you as you travel.”
“You ridiculous boy,” Edema hastily wiped a tear away. “You’ll make me look a fright.”
“You're the most beautiful woman here or anywhere,” Parno smiled at her own discomfiture. “It was wonderful to see you, even under these circumstances.”
“You look fit and healthy,” Edema nodded. “I could not ask for more than that. Do not risk yourself so much, dear child.”
“I'm not allowed to,” Parno laughed.
“Good-bye my boy. Be safe and be well,” she kissed his cheek.
“You too.”
-
Parno's morning was usually spent reading reports that had no true bearing on anything to do with the actual fighting of the war. True, worry over supply, troop dispositions, gear allocations and all the rest were important, but there were a great many things that he just didn't think demanded his level of attention.
