by Blue, Jayne
“No,” Colt said right away. “Nothing like that, man. You’re right. We’re back to square one with it. That’s all.”
“Where do we stand on the criminal charges?” Kellan asked.
“Bailey’s filing his motion to suppress,” I said. “He thinks it’ll be a no brainer for the judge. He’s a hell of a lot more worried about the custody hearing for Toby. He thinks he can make the drug charges go away in one shot. He told me to be ready for more of a fight on Toby.”
“And you’ll give it to them,” Colt said. “You know you’ve got the club to back you one hundred percent.”
“I appreciate that,” I said. “And I hope that’s true where Tara’s concerned. She’s mine, Colt. You need to know that. I’m in this way too deep to turn my back on her.”
“What are you asking?” Colt said, his eyes narrowing.
“Joker ... just hold on, before you …”
“No,” I said. “I’m not gonna hold on. We offered Amy our protection against a sitting prez. I was at this table. I went against one oath to do what was right. I wrote your name down, Colt. And I did the same thing when it was Mallory. And for Nicole.”
Kellan was fuming. I knew he’d think I crossed a line invoking the circumstances surrounding Colt being voted in. I didn’t care.
“Tara’s done nothing to deserve our suspicion,” I said. “She came clean about her old man when she realized there might be an issue. If she was trying to protect him, why the hell would she do that?”
“Maybe so you wouldn’t find out first,” Tate said.
“We’re not talking about some random chick I hooked up with,” I said. “Tara’s different. She matters to me.”
“Joker …” Colt said.
I held a hand up. I knew what I was doing. I knew exactly what I was asking.
“Put it to a vote,” I said. Colt dropped his chin.
“Joker, man ... don’t put us in this position,” Kellan said.
“I’m asking for a table vote,” I said. “Tara Kimball is mine. It’s real. I made a promise to her and I’m asking for the club’s now too. I want to give her friend-of-the-club status. She’s earned it from me and from all of you. Does she have club protection or not?”
The door to the storeroom opened and Brax walked back in.
“The guys are all here,” Brax said. He clicked the speaker button on his phone and put it on the table.
Acid burned through my veins. I wanted to stop time. I wanted to punch the wall.
No.
“Can you say again what you just told me?” Brax said. He looked around the table. “It’s Vinny, my phone guy.”
“Hey, Colt, you there?” Vinny asked.
“Table’s full, Vinny. Go ahead,” Colt said, leaning forward to make sure Vinny could hear.
“The girl’s phone is hot,” he said.
“What do you mean hot?” Kellan asked.
“It’s pretty sophisticated. I pretty much only see this with cartel shit or maybe the feds. But there’s tracking software on it. It’s hidden. So either she didn’t want you to find it or whoever put it on there didn’t want her to know it was there.”
“GPS just?” Colt asked.
“One-way recording too,” Vinny said. “I mean, it’s not just the software on it. It’s the phone itself.”
I buried my face in my hands.
“Explain it to me like I’m five,” Colt said.
“Okay,” Vinny said. “Everywhere the phone is, whoever’s on the other end of this app can see it.”
“Like Liberty Bridge,” Kellan muttered.
“And it’s a wire,” Vinny continued. “Can either be a one-way listening device but also a recording device. All remote operated.”
“You’re sure?” I asked.
“Yeah,” Vinny said. “In fact, you guys mind if I hang on to this one for a while? I’d like to really dig deep and see how much I can do with it.”
“Sure, Vinny,” Brax said. “Thanks, man. I owe you.”
“Always,” Vinny answered. Brax said goodbye and he clicked off.
“Son of a bitch,” I said, kicking a chair over.
“Hey, man,” Colt said. “Don’t lose it yet. Maybe she didn’t know. Hell, she probably didn’t. Makes no sense why she’d just turn the thing over to you so easily.”
I nodded. I couldn’t see straight. I could barely breathe. The next few minutes were all a blur.
Colt didn’t have to put my request to a vote. There was no way in hell any of the men at this table would offer Tara their protection now.
“And Joker,” Colt said. “It kills me to have to say this. But you know you’ve got no choice.”
No.
“You gotta end it,” he said. “Whether she deserves it or not, Tara Kimball is radioactive to the club.”
I couldn’t meet his eyes. I didn’t have to. I knew my president had just given me a direct order. And every man at this table would make sure I complied.
Chapter Eighteen
Tara
“There’s no mistake,” Joker said. His voice bitter, flat. He stood still as stone, facing the water.
When he called and ask to meet me here down at the docks, I knew something had gone horribly, terribly wrong. When I tried to put a hand on his shoulder, he stiffened and my heart cracked just a little.
“You’re saying my phone was tampered with?” I said.
“You’re saying you didn’t know?” he asked.
That little crack in my heart split wide as a canyon.
“No,” I said, trying not to shout. We were in Parade Park, one of the most upscale sections of the waterfront now. Shops and restaurants lined the boardwalk. It was open, crowded, impersonal. I didn’t want to make a scene.
“No,” I said again. “If I’d known there was anything weird about my phone, why would I have even let you take it? Maybe your guy is wrong.”
“He’s not wrong,” Joker said. “I wish to God he were.”
“Joker, this is crazy. You think this was my dad?” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew they were true.
“The stuff on this phone,” he said. “It was sophisticated. Expensive. Spy shit. Of course it came from your dad. It’s how the cops knew where we were the night they planted that dope on me.”
My head spun. “I can’t ... this is all …”
I turned to him. “Joker, you know I had nothing to do with this. I would never try to hurt you. I love you. And I love Toby. You think I would do anything that would jeopardize your custody?”
Joke dropped his head. “No.”
He looked up. A shudder went through him. He grabbed me by the upper arms and pulled me toward him.
“No,” he said again, his voice breaking.
Just that one simple word and the dead look in his eyes told me all I needed to know.
“But it doesn’t matter,” I said. “Does it? That’s why you wanted to meet me out here. You’re dumping me anyway.”
“Tara …”
I pulled out of his grasp. “The club. They think I’m bad for you because of my dad.”
“It’s complicated,” he said.
“No, it’s simple.”
“Tara, I love you. That hasn’t changed. But shit is going to get worse for the club before it gets better. I don’t know how bad it’s going to get ... but bad. I don’t want you getting hurt by that. I care about you too damn much. And you need to know this is killing me.”
My head spun. The ground no longer felt solid beneath my feet.
“Joker, I can handle it. I won’t get hurt,” I said.
“I won’t take that chance. And right now, with things being how they are, I can’t ... there won’t ... the club …”
A single tear fell from my eye. I put a hand up to stop him. “Save it. I get it. Was it unanimous? Was it your vote too?”
“What?” His eyes went wide. “No. Dammit, no. I don’t want this. I hate everything about it. You’re the only thing that makes a
ny damn sense in my life right now. But I have to keep you out of the way of this.”
A chill went through me as my heart finally broke in two.
“How long?” I asked.
Joker’s jaw twitched. It gave me all the answer I needed.
I took a step back, feeling as if I’d just taken a blow to the gut. I had.
“Tell me what to do?” I asked.
“Just ... be safe. The best way I can protect you is by staying away from you.”
I didn’t know what to say. What to think. I started nodding then shook my head.
“What about Toby? How are you planning to stay away from me? I see him every day, Joker.”
He looked out at the water. His silence was loud as thunder.
“Oh,” I said. “God, Joker. Does he know? How can you just uproot him again? Especially with the court hearing coming up.”
“It’ll be easier this way,” he said.
“Easier.” I held back a bitter laugh. “Easier for who exactly?”
He stood with his fists clenched so tightly it wouldn’t have surprised me if he drew blood.
I wanted to hate him for hurting me. I wanted to be strong enough to just smile and walk away. I’d only really known this man for a few months. Hardly enough time to forget the habits of my old life.
I could pretend. Maybe I could convince myself I’d never even met Joker Smith. Maybe it would be easy if I tried.
But as he stood in front of me, trying to turn his heart to granite, I felt as if mine had been ripped out. There was no going back. There was no pretending. For either of us.
“I love you,” he said. “And I wish I didn’t. But you have to know that what I’m doing ... it’s because I love you so damn much.”
“Save it,” I said. “All of it. I can’t hear anymore.”
It was cold there on the waterfront. I’d only worn a blouse over jeans. Stupid. I should have brought at least a sweater.
Joke saw me shiver. He came to me. “Let me take you home.”
I looked back at his bike. God. The thought of climbing back onto it and having to wrap my arms around his waist. And to know it might be the last time …
“No.” I stepped away. “It’s better if I walk.”
“I’m not letting you walk.”
“Then I’ll call a cab! What was your plan anyway? Why bring me out here?”
As soon as I asked the question, I knew the answer. If my phone was bugged, why wouldn’t my house be? Why wouldn’t he assume someone was watching me right now?
I looked over my shoulder.
“What if it’s not my father?” I asked. Even as I did, I knew it had to be. The device Joker described would surely have been something my father had access to. And I could easily work out the scenario when he’d done it. He was at my house for dinner once a week. It was usually on the table. I didn’t hide it.
He lied. They all did. My father. Joker. And I was sick to death of all of them.
“Goodbye,” I said.
“Tara …”
“Go back to your club, Joker,” I said. “Go back to your life.”
He opened his mouth as if he meant to say something else. I knew in my heart what it was. You are my life.
I left the last pieces of my heart at his feet as I turned and left him standing at the water’s edge.
* * *
I couldn’t get out of the cab. I sat in the backseat. The driver had already pulled into my driveway.
“Lady, you okay?” he asked me.
I blinked hard. I would not start crying. If I did, I knew I’d never stop.
“Sorry,” I said. I fished in my wallet and handed him a twenty. It had only been a ten-dollar cab ride over.
“Just keep it,” I said. Now that I’d committed to leaving that backseat, I wanted to run.
That single, awful cab ride felt like the line of demarcation in my life. Before Joker broke my heart, and after.
“Thanks,” the driver called back. I adjusted my purse strap and walked up to my front porch. The house was dark and quiet. I fumbled with the keys and went inside.
I pressed the back of my head against the door after I closed it. I was tired. Exhausted. It would have been easy to just curl up into a ball and sleep the rest of the week. But tomorrow I had to go back to work. He wanted a clean break, but it wouldn’t work like that, I knew. He couldn’t very well pull Toby from the daycare without having some other arrangement. Amy Reddick was back in school herself. Mrs. Loomis, his last nanny, was still recovering from her hip replacement.
So I’d see Joker again at least tomorrow. Unless he sent someone else. Would Toby know? Would he ask me what happened? Hell if I knew what I could even say.
Then there was my father. In the wake of the pain I felt at Joker dumping me, I barely had a chance to feel the anger toward my dad.
I felt it now. It bubbled up and raised the hair on the back of my neck. It came on so violently, I threw my keys across the living room.
That’s when I saw the pair of eyes glinting at me from the couch.
“Shit!” Adrenaline coursed through me. I turned and fumbled for the door.
He was too quick. A hand slammed against the door above my head. His hot breath was in my ear.
I had no weapon. He pressed me against the door, threatening to crush my chest.
“Calm down,” he said, his voice raspy, his breath foul.
I tried to kick backward but he was prepared for that. He shoved a knee between my legs.
“I just wanna talk,” he said. “We can do this easy or hard.”
“You broke into my house! I think you left easy a while back, asshole!”
He laughed. He caught my wrists and pinned them against my lower back. He turned me and shoved me forward so I staggered then fell onto the couch in a heap. I whirled around, ready to fight. I came face to face with the barrel of his gun.
“Sit tight,” he said. “I’m in a good mood so far. Let’s not change that.”
“Who the hell are you?”
He was scruffy. Bald with spots of silver where the hair tried to grow, I think. It was hard to tell with only the moonlight from the window. He wore a black leather jacket and jeans. He sat on the coffee table in front of me, keeping that gun trained right at my chest.
“Tara,” he said. “You’ve been a busy girl. A wildcat, really.”
With sickening dread, I realized the tracker on my phone was probably just the beginning. They ... whoever they were ... had probably also bugged my house. Were they listening? How long? A wave of nausea went through me. Wildcat. Joker had called me that two nights ago during our lovemaking.
“I’m a friend of your pop’s,” he said.
I already knew the truth. Joker was right. Dad was somehow behind all of the crap that had been happening to me. I also knew what I could expect him to say. He was doing it for me. He didn’t trust Joker. He needed a way to protect me.
It was all bullshit though as this asshole kept his gun leveled at my heart.
“You bugged my phone,” I said.
“Your dad arranged for that,” he said.
“You’re a cop?” I asked.
He laughed.
No. Not a cop. Was he someone out for revenge? Had my father put this guy behind bars at some point? But then why would he be working with him?
“You’re clever,” he said. “Maybe a little too clever. You should have come to your old man instead of handing your phone over to the Wolves. Not smart, Tara.”
“What the hell is it you want?”
“It’s what your dad wants, honey. He’s got a debt to pay and you’re part of that.”
It was then I noticed the tattoo on his neck. I couldn’t see all of it, but I could make out one great wing. A bird of prey.
“You’re with the Hawks,” I said.
He smiled. “Right. Clever.”
“What the hell is my dad doing mixed up with you? He spent his life putting assholes like you away.”
The guy let out a sigh. “Look, you can work all this out with daddy dearest. But he owes me. And he owes me big.”
It all started to fall into place. Money. A gambling debt?
“You’re right, your dad put a lot of big bad dudes away over the years. But you think he did all that alone? There’s always a price to pay. Now it’s my time to collect.”
“How the hell do I fit into all of that?”
“Your boy, wildcat,” he said.
“Joker.”
“That’s right. You spread your legs, we listen in. Very interesting stuff. But you went ahead and turned your phone over. Not cool.”
“What the hell are you even talking about? I didn’t know my phone was bugged. If you were planning to use me as some go-between or spy, you didn’t think this through.”
His face dropped just a little.
“Listen,” he said. “I’ll make this simple. You’re going to help your pops deliver the goods on the Great Wolves. I don’t care how long you need to stay on your back or your knees to get it ... but you’re going back to that club and you’re going to plant that bug we gave you. You understand?”
I was losing my mind. This was the Twilight Zone.
Just then, thunder rained down. I jumped as someone pounded on my front door.
“Twomey, open this goddamn door!” It was my father’s voice.
Twomey smiled. He slowly rose and went to the front door.
“Dad, what the hell is going on?” I asked.
“It’s fine,” he said to Twomey. “I got this, okay? This isn’t what we agreed on.”
Agreed on. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to run.
Then my father saw the gun.
“You son of a bitch,” he shouted. “You bring that shit into my daughter’s house?”
He moved so quickly my eyes barely registered it. He lunged at Twomey. Twomey raised the gun. I didn’t even have time to scream. My dad caught Twomey by the wrist; he kicked out and spun Twomey sideways. The gun dropped to the floor and my father kicked it away. He pushed Twomey up against the wall.
