“You can trust me. But you can’t treat me like an adult one minute and the next try to take it back. I haven’t done anything wrong.” My voice rose in anger. “And how is kissing the boy I like a betrayal?”
He gaped at me, and my mother did the same.
“You can’t be serious about that boy. He barely graduated.” My father turned to my mother. “Wasn’t he expelled?”
“No. He wasn’t.” I took a deep breath. “He’s made mistakes. But then again, so have I. And he’s so much more than anyone gives him credit for.”
They stared at me, and it wasn’t with belief. But I didn’t need them to believe me just now.
I did need them to respect my decision though. Because watching Roman walk away, one thing had become alarmingly clear. I wanted him. I wanted him in my life.
I might have a lot of confusing emotions to work through, but this was not one of them.
I wanted to feel alive, passionate, understood...cherished. And he gave me that. He made me feel like I was the center of the world. His world.
Right now, I needed that more than I needed air to breathe. Definitely far more than I required my parents’ acceptance.
“I don’t need your approval,” I said as gently as I was able. “I’m legally an adult, and I’ll be moving out soon enough.
They looked stricken, as if they hadn’t realized I’d been aging right in front of their eyes all this time.
I took a step forward and reached for my father’s hand. “But I’d like your blessing. Or, if that’s asking for too much right now…” I glanced from him to my mother. “At the very least I’m asking for you to trust my judgment and respect my decisions just like you’ve been doing for many years now.” I wet my lips. “I think that’s the thing about trust, isn’t it? You can’t just trust someone when it pleases you. You either trust in them or you don’t.”
There was a long silence after that, and my father’s brows drew down as he considered this. “And you...trust this boy?”
I nodded right away. “I do.”
My father glanced at my mother, and she returned his stare. They both looked slightly stunned and more than a little confused by today’s turn of events. And much as I wanted to chase after Roman and tell him to ignore my father’s comments, much as I wanted to tell him everything I was feeling right now, the sight of my confused parents had me pushing those thoughts to the side.
“I think it’s time we had a talk,” I said gently, feeling for all the world like I was the parental figure right now rather than the other way around. I placed one hand on my father’s arm, and with the other, I took my mother’s hand in mine as I steered them toward the living room where we could be comfortable for a long overdue conversation.
“I thought my cancer was back,” I told them once we’d settled into the living room.
My mom gasped. “What? When?”
“A few weeks ago. I went to the doctor while you were out of town.”
“What made you think it was back?” my dad asked.
I told them about the anemia and the test the doctor had ordered. “Thankfully, I got good news, but I’d been worried about my results for a long time. The point is, neither of you were there for me. You were off doing your own thing. I know that’s my fault because I didn’t tell you about it. I didn’t want to interrupt your lives. But Roman was there for me, even when he didn’t know how scared I’d been. And he’s continued to be there for me.”
“How could you keep something like this from us?” my dad asked. He looked stricken. My mother too.
Guilt reared up inside me. They would have stayed home if they’d known. They would have been by my side. I knew that. But telling them would have made it that much more real. Their worry would have fed my own.
I sighed. “I thought I had it handled on my own. I can see now that I was wrong about that.”
“And you’re sure you’re okay?” My mom blinked like she was struggling to process the news that I’d gone to the doctor and hadn’t told them anything about it.
“I’m fine.”
“Please don’t shut us out like that again,” my mom said, her voice soft with emotion.
I nodded, and in that moment I decided. “I won’t.”
My mom drew me into a hug and patted my back. But my head was still spinning, racing with what I’d figured out.
I might have made those rules and built those walls when I was a kid, but I wasn’t a child anymore. And those walls?
They were coming down.
Twelve
Willow
* * *
Flynn looked distinctly uncomfortable a couple hours later as he gave me a lift to the party. He wasn’t working tonight, but he’d offered a ride, and I’d taken him up on it.
“You okay?” he asked when we pulled out of the driveway.
I shot him a rueful smile. “How much did you hear?”
He winced. “Enough. I swear I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I just...couldn’t help but overhear. I’m sorry.” He must have come home while we were having the tail end of our conversation.
I laughed softly. “It’s okay, Flynn. It’s your house too. You have nothing to apologize for.”
He shifted. “Yeah, well, you and your parents have been so great about giving me a place to stay. I just wish there was something I could do to help.”
I thought that over as we drew closer to the Bernsteins’ house. “I feel good about that talk,” I finally said.
“Yeah?” He glanced over at me with arched brows.
I nodded. “I think it was way overdue.”
His hands shifted on the wheel again. “You know, Willow...I’m supposed to be driving out East to see my family—”
“I remember,” I said. His mom and brothers were living in New Jersey, and he’d been planning for weeks now to go out there and visit.
“I can put off the trip,” he said. My chest tightened when he glanced over with a surprisingly vulnerable look. “You know, if you want.”
My lips trembled when I smiled. He must have heard me telling my parents that I’ve been lonely being home alone so often. But Flynn staying had helped and having my job with the Princess Troupe had given me friends, of a sort.
And now Roman was in my life, and he’d made me feel like I truly had a place where I belong.
“Thank you, but I’m okay,” I said.
And I meant it. My parents were already talking about cutting back on their travels, and I was determined that this new me who expressed herself and talked about her feelings—she wouldn’t be an aberration. She was who I wanted to be from here on out.
I might not have been able to control emotions or the people around me, but that was okay. I would be okay.
“Well, I know for a fact that Isla won’t let you be too lonely,” he said. His lips twitched upward at the corners as he spoke of his girlfriend.
I wondered if he knew he did that.
He glanced over at me. “She’s bound and determined to get you to hang out with her while I’m gone.”
I let out a choked laugh. “I’ll consider myself warned.”
He grinned over at me. “And something tells me you won’t have much need for her company.” He arched a brow. “Care to tell me what’s going on with you and Roman?”
I opened my mouth and shut it. The mention of Roman brought back the nagging fear I’d been fighting. I hated the look in his eyes when he’d walked away.
My dad had spoken out of anger and concern. I knew that. But would Roman?
I winced at the memory of what my dad had said. Being compared to his father was the worst thing my father could say, but Roman had to know that there was no truth there.
Right?
“Well?” Flynn said.
“I like him.” The words came out before I could stop them, but they felt right. “I like Roman.”
Flynn chuckled beside me. “Well, that’s good because it’s pretty clear he likes you too.”
I gl
anced over at him with a smile, my cheeks warm with embarrassment that we were talking about my love life.
But the fact that I had a love life?
Maybe. Hopefully. Possibly.
That was pretty incredible.
“Look, I’m sorry I got a little overprotective earlier,” Flynn said. “Isla gave me hell after you guys left.”
His wince made me laugh. “I can imagine,” I said.
“It’s not that I don’t like Roman,” he said quickly. “I do. I just worry because he’s more…”
“Experienced?” I offered.
He nodded. “Exactly.”
I murmured my understanding. Roman and I were different in so many ways, and experience with the opposite sex was just one of them. Maybe that should have concerned me, but it didn’t. He might have kissed other girls before, but I knew for a fact that whatever was happening between us was just as new for him as it was for me.
New...and fragile.
“What’s with the frown?” Flynn asked. Amusement laced his voice, and when I glanced over, he arched his brows. “What? You think I haven’t learned a thing or two about you since we’d been living together?”
I felt a smile tugging at my lips at his clear pride at having cracked through some of my barriers.
It was a reminder that I was done with the walls. Terrifying as it might be, it was time to live without fear...or die trying. The gallows humor made me laugh, and when Flynn arched his brows again, I took a deep breath and laid it out there.
All that had happened, the way my dad had driven Roman off and had made it sound like he wasn’t worthy.
“Roman won’t care about that,” Flynn said. He said it with such assurance that I wanted to believe him, but I also realized that few people saw past Roman’s devil-may-care grin and his sexy charisma.
“Huh.”
The noise had Flynn looking over in surprise, but I didn’t feel like explaining my new revelation.
Roman had just as many walls up as I did. His were just more inviting. The thought made me smile as I looked out the window at the scenery flashing by.
“I think maybe he and I have more in common than anyone would imagine,” I said.
“I can understand that,” Flynn said slowly. “Sometimes the similarities aren’t all that obvious. And sometimes…” He shrugged as he turned onto the Bernstein’s street. “Sometimes maybe it’s the differences that help us to find what we need. What we’re missing.” He glanced over. “You know?”
I nodded. “I do.”
Flynn gave me a parting little pep talk about how everything would work out just fine as soon as I had a chance to talk to Roman.
I nodded. I believed him. “Wish me luck,” I said.
“Good luck!”
I waved as he drove off and headed toward the back entrance where Callie and Savannah were already getting ready for tonight’s party. Callie looked cute as a button in the Snow White costume and Savannah managed to make her cheap polyester Cinderella outfit look chic. That was the power of being a tall, hot blonde with legs to spare, I supposed.
“There she is,” Callie sang when I walked in. “We were starting to think maybe you were going to play hooky on us.”
I frowned as I set my bag down and reached for my Rapunzel dress. “Why would I do that?”
“Well, for one, you’ve been hanging out with Mr. Bad Boy himself,” Callie teased.
Savannah rolled her eyes with a laugh at Callie’s antics.
“He’s not bad,” I said. Even to my own ears, my voice was stiff. It wasn't all that long ago that Callie had been crushing on Roman. And I’d been opposed. Granted, I’d barely known him then, but I’d made the same assumptions everyone else had, and the reminder wasn’t exactly welcome.
“Relax, Willow, I’m kidding,” Callie said, pausing next to me to bump my hip with hers. “You know I think Roman is the best. Now that I’ve moved on from my silly infatuation, we’ve actually been becoming friends, and I couldn’t be happier that you two are hitting it off.”
I felt a small smile forming at the words of encouragement, but then Savannah was standing in front of me with a concerned scowl. “Do I need to have a talk with him?”
I blinked. “Pardon?”
She waved the fairy godmother wand she was holding—Mrs. Messner would be playing that role, as usual when we had a Cinderella in the mix. She held the wand up now like a weapon. “Callie might be all Team Roman, but I’ve heard the stories about him.” She narrowed her eyes. “He’s a player, Willow—”
“He just hadn’t found the right girl until now,” Callie protested.
I pointed toward Callie. “What she said.”
Savannah’s lips twitched with amusement and she dropped the wand. “Fine.” And then, she added in a grudging tone, “I’ll admit, it’s nice to see you coming out of your shell a bit.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that, so I shrugged. “I’m trying.”
That earned me two wide-eyed stares before Mrs. Messner burst into the room looking as harried as ever. “Oh Willow, thank goodness you arrived. I was beginning to think I was going to have to call Isla in on her night off.”
I looked at the time on my phone in confusion. “I’m not even late.”
She waved a hand as she breezed past me. “Yes, yes. But these girls were convinced that boy you’re seeing would be a bad influence—”
“Savannah thought he would be a bad influence,” Callie interjected. She gave Savannah a playful shove. “See? I told you there’s nothing to worry about. He’s not a bad influence. If anything, he’s good for her. She needs to relax and enjoy herself more. You said so yourself.”
Savannah came back with some retort and Callie laughed, but I was too focused on Mrs. Messner to really listen. “What do you mean he’d be a bad influence?” I asked.
Savannah answered when Mrs. Messner got distracted by a phone call from her son who was off at college. “Roman was supposed to work catering tonight, but some new guy is here instead.”
“So we figured he was bailing on work and convinced you to take the night off too,” Callie said. She pointed to Savannah. “Actually, she’s the only one who thought that, but Mrs. Messner overheard.”
Savannah gave an unapologetic shrug. “How am I supposed to know how a Willow-in-love would act? We’ve never even seen her in-like before.”
“I’m not…” I gave my head a shake. I wasn’t sure how to describe my newfound feelings for Roman, but now was definitely not the time to figure it out.
Also, I had no idea where they were getting all this info about me and Roman, but I made a mental note to tell Flynn and Isla to zip it from here on out.
But soon enough I came back to the pertinent facts here, and my stomach dipped ominously as it registered. “Roman’s not working tonight?”
Callie shook her head.
“But why? Did this new guy say?”
“He didn’t know,” Savannah said. “I asked.”
Callie was watching me closely. Too closely. “You okay, Willow?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I just…” But again, I didn’t finish. I was too busy calling Roman. I couldn’t tell if it was paranoia or premonition that had dread pooling in my belly, but panic was starting to claw at my chest at the thought that he was not okay.
That we were not okay.
I bit my lip, the memory of that sad look in his eyes clear as day in my mind as I got his voicemail.
“He’s not answering,” I said.
I looked up to see that Savannah, Callie, and even Mrs. Messner had stopped what they were doing to watch me with varying degrees of fascination.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing,” Callie said quickly.
Mrs. Messner’s brows arched and her eyes were wide with surprise and affection. “We’ve just never seen you so…”
“Human,” Savannah supplied.
I frowned.
“She didn’t mean it like that,” Callie said quickl
y, coming to stand by my side. “But first you’d been crying, and now you’re clearly trying not to freak out—”
“Too late,” I interrupted, my voice high and tight. “I think I already am.”
“Will you tell us what’s going on?” Savannah asked.
A decade of protecting myself and hiding my emotions away and out of sight warred with the need for help. For understanding. I bit my lip and then spit it out quickly. “I really like Roman. I think he really likes me. But my parents came home and caught us together, and I’m afraid that the things he heard them say…” I took a deep breath. “I’m worried about him.”
“Oh, honey.” Callie rushed me with a hug. “Finally!”
Savannah gave me a rueful smile over Callie’s shoulder. “She’s been waiting years for you to partake in girl talk.”
I choked on a sound that was part laugh and part moan.
“Isn’t this sweet?” Mrs. Messner clasped her hands to her mouth, looking on like a proud mama. “I just love seeing my troupe take care of each other.” Her gaze met mine. “If you need to take off to take care of yourself, you do that, you hear?”
I nodded, already trying to figure out where he might be and how I could get a hold of him if he wasn’t answering the phone.
Callie pulled back and started texting.
“Are you texting Roman?”
She nodded. “And the guys from the band.”
I bit my lip. That was a good idea. I was probably overreacting, but I couldn’t shake this fear that my dad’s words had pushed him away. That he’d taken them to heart and believed that hogwash about him not being good enough.
Worse, I was terrified that I’d messed up by not speaking up right then and there. I should have had his back. I should have—
“He’s at work,” Callie said. “Dylan says he’s at the restaurant tonight.”
I blinked in surprise, and Savannah threw her hands up with a grin. “See? Crisis averted. He just had to work.”
“Yes, but he opted to be there instead of here. With me.” I looked from one friend to the other. “Should I be worried? Am I reading too much into it?”
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