The Dedalus Book of Roman Decadence: Emperors of Debauchery

by Geoffrey Farrington

  Yet it was said of the Greeks conquered by Rome that ,the captives captivated the captors' and it is true that the Romans learned to value and revere the varied treasures of antiquity that their empire inherited. Imperial Rome may have started as a bandits' cave, yet it became a shrine and a symbol as its inhabitants followed their destiny: making roads, cities, defences and laws; creating and administrating an orderly world in which the legacy of civilization might be preserved.

  Contrary to what is often believed, the Roman empire did not collapse as a result of moral decay, but as a consequence of internal disunity and military strife, which made it finally vulnerable to the many barbarian enemies on its frontiers. It should be borne in mind that in spite of the grand scale immorality, degeneracy, cruelty, extravagance and vice contained in these pages, the empire not only endured but remained supreme for centuries after. And that when the western empire finally fell in the fifth century, Europe was plunged into a dark age which was to last a thousand years.

  Ovid

  43 Bc AD 17?

  Augustan Poet

  Publius Ovidius Naso was the writer of numerous works, largely of an irreverent and erotic nature. He incurred the displeasure of the emperor Augustus, whose attempts at moral reform Ovid's works blatantly flouted. He was finally exiled around AD 8 for obscure reasons (other than Augustus' general disapproval) to Tomi (modern Constanza) in Romania, where he remained in misery until he died, in spite of numerous letters and poems sent to Rome pleading for imperial clemency. The following poem is from `The Amores'.

  OVID

  From The Amores

  111,3

  Suetonius

  Born AD 69/70

  Imperial Biographer

  Gaius Suetonius Tranquillus held a number of offices involving imperial records and correspondence at the court of the emperor Hadrian, until he was eventually dismissed for some affront given to the empress Sabina. It is to the inestimable benefit of historians that he did not waste the opportunity for research amongst the imperial archives that his position afforded him. His surviving book `The Twelve Caesars' is an invaluable series of biographies from Julius Caesar to Domitian. He takes particular delight in recounting all manner of salacious gossip. If Tacitus is the greatest of Roman historians, then Suetonius is certainly the most entertaining.

  This brief extract from the life of Tiberius describes that emperor's secluded existence in old age upon the Island of Capri. It is probably untrue, the retreat of eminent people from the public gaze always then, as now, likely to give rise to the most outlandish fabrications, but it nevertheless makes fascinating reading.

  SUETONIUS

  from The Twelve Caesars

  Tiberius, 43f.

  When he retired to Capri, Tiberius planned a private den of vice for himself, a place of forbidden pleasures, in which a huge collection (gathered from all over the place) of girls and of really lecherous men, skilled in unusual practices, would perform sexual acts three-at-a-time - he called them his `sex-groupies' - so that the sight of them might excite his own flagging passions. Bedrooms on all sides were furnished with highly erotic pictures and statues, and were provided with pornographic books from Elephantis in Egypt, in case anyone missed the point about what they were supposed to do. In the woods and clearings all over the island he had Groves of Lust, where little boys and girls, dressed as Pan or as nymphs stood in front of caves or grottoes, so that the island was now openly and commonly called the `Caprineum' - `the home of the randy old goat.'

  In fact, his wickedness was even more flagrant - so much so, that one can scarcely allude to it, let alone believe it! He trained young boys - whom he called his `little fishes' - to swim between his legs and lick him and nibble him to get him going. And he let babies who hadn't yet been weaned suck his genitals like a teat - he had become such a horny old devil! There was a painting by Parrasius (in which Atalanta was giving Meleager a blow job), which had been left to him on the condition that if he didn't like the subject matter he could have ten thousand sesterces instead. Not only did he prefer it, but he put it up in his bedroom. They do say that while sacrificing once, one of the altarboys (who had waved the incense) took his fancy. He could hardly wait for the service to end before rushing him (and also his brother, who had sounded the ritual trumpet) outside and ravishing the pair of them. When they complained about this wicked assault, he had their legs broken.

  Tiberius, 62

  The place of execution is still shown at Capri where the condemned were thrown head-first into the sea after a long and exquisite torture. A band of sailors waited for them below and smashed the bodies with pikes and oars, in case any life remained in them. He thought up this one, among other forms of torture - he'd trick men into getting loaded by drinking large quantities of strong wine, whereupon he would suddenly tie up their private parts so that they would be tortured simultaneously by the tightness of the twine and by the urine. If death had not stopped him, and if Thrasyllus* (deliberately, it is said) had not, through the hope of a longer life, got him to put off certain acts, then very probably many more would have been killed, and he would not even have spared his surviving younger relatives. For he had his suspicions of Gaius Caligula, and he detested Tiberius as a child born of adultery. This is the absolute truth - he used to call King Priam of Troy happy `because he outlived all of his relations.'

  Suetonius

  Life of Caligula

  Gaius Caligula, grand-nephew and successor to Tiberius, is one of the most notorious figures in history. He was the youngest of the sons of the hero Germanicus, whose premature death in Antioch plunged the Roman world into grief. Following this his mother and two brothers were imprisoned and executed by Tiberius, whose suspicions against them were inflamed by Sejanus, Tiberius' corrupt and ambitious Guards commander. Sejanus himself was finally revealed to be plotting against Tiberius, and was executed before he moved to destroy Caligula. After this fearful and turbulent early life, Caligula became emperor with all the love and sympathy of the Roman people, who hailed his accession as the dawn of a golden age. His true character, however, irrevocably tainted by his upbringing, soon revealed itself with the acquisition of absolute power.

  The translation is an abridged version of the first English translation by Philemon Holland in 1606, revised by Steve Gove.

  Gaius Caesar was born on the day next preceding the kalends of September, when his father and Gaius Fonteius Capito were consuls. The place of his nativity, by the disagreement of writers, remains uncertain. I myself find among the records, that Antium was the place of his birth.

  He got his surname Caligula by occasion of a jest which arose in the camp, because he was brought up there in the habit of an ordinary and common soldier among the rest. Most of all was it shown how far he was able to bear with them through their love and favour by means of his upbringing alongside them, when after the death of Augustus, he alone, through his very sight and presence, quieted them when they were in an uproar and at the very point of furious outrage. For they would not cease to mutiny, until they perceived that he was about to be sent away for danger of the sedition and appointed to the next city adjoining. Then and not before, turning to repentance, they held back his coach, and so by prayer averted the displeasure that was toward them.

  He accompanied his father also in the expedition into Syria; from whence being returned, he abode first with his mother, and after she was banished and sent away, he remained with his great-grandmother Livia Augusta; she whom, deceased, he praised in a funeral oration at the Rostra, when he was as yet but a very youth; and then he removed to his grandmother Antonia. From her, in his twentieth year, he was sent for by Tiberius, and upon the same day he did put on his virile gown and withal cut the first down of his beard, without any solemn ceremony, such as his brothers before him had at their coming of age. Here, notwithstanding he was tempted by all the deceitful schemes that those men seeking to draw and force him to quarrels could devise, yet never gave he any opportunity to th
em, having quite erased from his memory the fall and calamity of his mother, brothers and near friends, as if nothing had befallen to any of them; passing over all those abuses which he had himself endured with incredible dissimulation, being in addition so obedient and dutiful in the service of his grandfather and those about him, that of him it was said and not without good cause: `A better servant and a worse master there never was.'

  Howbeit, his own cruel disposition and villainous nature he could not even then bridle and hold in, but was most willing to be present at all castigations and punishments of those delivered over to execution; and also would he haunt taverns and brothel-houses, and the company of women suspected of adultery, going about from place to place disguised under a wig of false hair, and in a woman's garment; indeed, and most studiously gave his mind to learn the artificial feat of dancing and singing upon the stage. And Tiberius was well content to turn his gaze away and to suffer all these things, if perhaps thereby his fierce and savage nature might have been mollified and become tractable. Which the old man had foreseen well enough long before, insomuch as many times he gave out and said openly, that Gaius lived to the destruction of him and them all; likewise, that he cherished and brought up a very serpent for the people of Rome, and another Phaethon to the whole world.

  Not long after he took to wife Junia Claudilla, the daughter of Marcus Silanus, a most noble gentleman. And then he was nominated to succeed as augur in the place of his brother Drusus, and before his investiture therein was advanced to the dignity of priest, a noble testimony of his piety and promise; since, the royal line and imperial court being barren of all other candidates, Sejanus also being suspected and soon afterward overthrown, he should thus by small degrees arise to the hope of succession in the empire. This hope to confirm, after his wife Junia was dead in childbirth, he solicited into filthy wantonness Ennia, the wife of Naevius Macro, then captain of the guard and praetorian cohorts, having also promised her marriage, if he ever attained to the empire; and for assurance hereof he bound his promise with an oath and a letter written by his own hand. Once insinuated by her means into the inward acquaintance of Macro, he attempted the life of Tiberius with poison, as some believe; and whilst he was still living, but labouring for life, commanded his ring to be plucked from his finger - but perceiving that Tiberius attempted to hold fast to it, he forced a pillow over his mouth, and so stifled and strangled him with his own hands; and when his servant made an outcry at this cruel and horrible act, he immediately ordered him to be crucified. And certainly this has the sound of truth, since some authors write that he himself afterwards professed, if not the deed of murder, at least his intention one day to do it. For he made his boast continually, in reporting his own piety, that to avenge the death of his mother and brothers he entered Tiberius' bedchamber with a dagger whilst he lay asleep; and yet from pity thought a second time, flung the weapon from him and went away again. Nor did Tiberius, although he had intelligence of his intent, dare make any inquisition of the matter or proceed to revenge.

  Thus having obtained the empire, he gave to the people of Rome, or indeed to all mankind, their hearts' desire; being of all princes that ever were the most wished for by the peoples of the provinces and by the soldiers, because most of them had known him as a child; and favoured by all the people of Rome, in remembrance of his father Germanicus and in compassion for that ruined and extinct household. Therefore as he went from Misenum, albeit he was clad in mourning weeds and reverently attended the body of Tiberius, he was accompanied among the altars, the sacrifices and the burning torches by a great and joyful throng, who besides other lucky and fortunate names called him their star, their chick, their babe, and their nursling.

  No sooner was he entered into the city of Rome than immediately the senate and the multitude in the Curia had annulled the will of Tiberius, who in his testament had adjoined unto Gaius as his heir another of his nephews under age; and he was permitted alone to have full and absolute power; and at that there was such universal joy, that before three months had expired, there were according to report above 160,000 beasts slain for sacrifice.

  After this, when within some few days he passed over by water but to the nearest islands of Campania, vows were made for his safe return; and there was no man who did let slip the least occasion offered, to testify what pensive care he took as touching his health and safety. And so soon as he had once fallen sick, they all kept watch at night about the palace; and there was no want of men vowing to fight to the last for his life as he lay sick, and indeed devoting their very lives to him if he recovered, professing no less in written bills set up in public places. To this surpassing love of his own citizens and countrymen was adjoined the notable favour also of foreign states. For Artabanus, king of the Parthians, professing always his hatred and contempt of Tiberius, sought of his own accord to Gaius for peace and friendship: indeed, he came in person to a conference with one of his legates who had been consul, and, passing over Euphrates, paid homage to the eagles and other military ensigns of the Romans, and likewise the images of the Caesars.

  He also enkindled and set more on fire the affections of men with all manner of acts. When he had with many tears praised Tiberius in funeral oration before the body of the people, and performed most honourably his obsequies, he hastened at once to Pandataria and Pontiae, in foul and tempestuous weather, to bring from thence the ashes of his mother and brother, so that his piety and kindness might the more be seen. And having come to their relics, he very devoutly bestowed them in pitchers with his own hands. And with no less show of pageantry, he sailed with them first to Ostia, with streamers pitched fore and aft in a galley guided by two ranks of oars, and thence to Rome up the Tiber; and accompanied by the most worshipful gentlemen of Rome he conveyed them within two frames devised for the purpose into the mausoleum at noon-day, when the greatest number of people were assembled there. Likewise, in memorial of them he ordained yearly dirges and sacrifices to be performed with pious devotion to their spirits by the whole city. And more, he instituted in honour of his mother solemn games within the circus and also a sacred chariot, in which her image, made to her full living size, should be carried in ceremony. But in remembrance of his father he called the month September Germanicus.

  These ceremonial duties done, by virtue of one sole act of the senate, he heaped upon his grandmother Antonia the sum of those honours Livia Augusta had received in her whole time. His uncle Claudius, a knight of Rome until that time and no better, he took to be his colleague in the consulship. His brother Tiberius he adopted the very day that he put on his virile gown, and styled him prince of the youth. As touching his sisters, he caused in all oaths this clause to be annexed: `Neither shall I prize myself more dear than I do Gaius and his sisters.' In the same way, he ordained that, in the moving and propounding of matters by the consuls to the senators, they should begin in this form: `That which may be to the good and happy estate of Gaius Caesar and his sisters.' In the similar vein of popularity, he restored all who had been condemned, confined, and exiled, indeed he let them all go free, pardoning whatever crimes or accusations still remained from aforetime. So that no informer or witness should afterwards need to fear, he brought together into the forum all the books and registers pertaining to the causes of his mother and brothers; where, making declaration to the gods that he had neither read nor in any way tampered with them, he burned them. A certain pamphlet presented unto him concerning his life and safety he would not receive, but stood firm that he had done nothing for any person to bear malice towards him; and saying that he had no ears open for informers and tale-bearers.

  He expelled forth from Rome the spintriae, inventors of monstrous forms in perpetrating filthy lust, being hardly and with much ado entreated not to drown them in the deep sea. The writings of Titus Labienus, Cordus Cremu- tius, and Cassius Severus, which had been called in and abolished by divers acts of the senate, he suffered to be sought out again, to be in the possession of men and generally to be rea
d, seeing that it stood above all to his duty, to have all actions and deeds delivered to posterity. The history of the empire he published, which by Augustus had been begun diligently, but which was discontinued by Tiberius. To the magistrates he granted free jurisdiction and that there might be no appealing to himself. The gentry and knighthood of Rome he reviewed with severity and great preciseness, yet not without some moderation of his hand. From those in whom was found any foul reproach or ignominy, he openly took their horses; as for those who were culpable in smaller matters, he only passed over their names in reading the roll. To the end that the judges might be eased of their labour, to the four former seats of judgement he added a fifth. He attempted likewise to establish again the ancient manner of elections and to restore to the people their free voices.

  The legacies due by the last will and testament of Tiberius (although it was abolished), and also that of Livia Augusta, which Tiberius had suppressed, he caused faithfully and without fraud to be tendered and fully paid. The tax upon all bargains and sales he remitted throughout Italy. The losses that many a man had sustained by fire he supplied; and to those princes whose kingdoms he restored, he adjoined also the fruit and profits of their rents, customs and imposts growing to the Crown in the time between; as to one Antiochus Commagenus who had been confiscate and fined a hundred million sesterces. And that he might the more be considered a favourer of all good examples, he gave to a woman, by nature a libertine, 800,000 sesterces, because she concealed under the most grievous tortures, and would not reveal on pain of death, a wicked act committed by her patron. For such acts, among other honours done him, it was decreed that upon a certain day every year a shield of gold should be brought for him into the Capitol by the colleges of the priests, and that they be accompanied by the senate, and by the children of the nobles both boys and girls, who should sing the praises of his virtues in sweetly tuned verses. Moreover a decree was passed, that the day on which his rule began should be called Parilia, implying thereby as it were a second foundation of the city.