I hurried my pace and planted myself right in front of her so she was forced to stop or run right into me. My mind was trying to piece together everything she’d said, trying to make it fit with my version of our history, but there was something missing. Something she wasn’t telling me, and something I couldn’t see.
Frustration had me reaching out to cup her shoulders, dipping my knees a bit so I had a better view of her face. “Did I…hurt you?”
The answer was plain as day in her eyes.
Yes. I had.
I’d never meant to, but I had. And that knowledge just about gutted me.
I saw the moment she tried to shutter her response. “Of course not,” she mumbled, her gaze dropping to my chin.
I hated that lie. I hated that she wasn’t looking at me. I hated that I’d unintentionally hurt this girl. And above all, I hated that I had no idea what I’d done. “What did I do, Edie?”
She was quiet for too long.
“I can’t apologize for something I’m not even aware of.”
Her silence was branching into stubborn territory. Not surprising given the girl in question, but still annoying.
“Look, I don’t know what I did or what I said that hurt you…but I know I never meant to.”
She narrowed her gaze on my chin like she was trying to work out a riddle there.
She wasn’t going to listen to reason. Nothing I said was going to get through that stubbornness, and no amount of logic or reason was going to make her understand what I was trying to say.
Screw it. Desperation had me acting before I thought it through. Tugging her closer, I crushed my lips to hers.
Sparks flew. Corny as that sounded, I now understood the phrase. Electricity shot through that kiss and made me feel like this was my first kiss, my first date, my first…everything.
She froze at first but then she unraveled just like I did, and we both exploded into action. Her arms came around my neck as I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her closer. She met my kisses and for a brief, perfect moment, the rest of the world faded away as our breath mingled and our lips clung.
This was how it was supposed to be between us. Our chemistry had always been there, but without a kiss to set off the spark, the attraction had turned to anger and unease.
Now, as her body pressed against me and her lips molded beneath mine as though we’d been made to fit together…
It all clicked. The world as I knew it shifted, and my life as I knew it finally fell into its proper place. Right here. With Edie.
We were two pieces of the same puzzle. The perfect fit. Physically, yes, but in every other way, too. When I was with Edie, I was with the one person who seemed to understand me and see past the surface. I was with the one person who challenged me and made me feel alive and—
She pushed me away from her so abruptly, I went stumbling back. “What’s… Edie, are you okay?”
She pressed a hand to her lips as she took two steps backwards. Tears were in her eyes as she regarded me. I didn’t know what she saw that made her run, but one second she was standing there and I was trying to figure out what to say to put her at ease, and the next second all I saw was her back as she sprinted back to school.
For the second time in my life, I felt the wind rush out of my lungs as the burn of rejection left an acrid taste in my mouth.
She’d rejected me.
Again.
It felt like the ground opened up beneath me as the world shifted again. But this time, nothing felt right. My stomach dropped and my heart…well my heart seemed to shrivel up, all that hope and elation from a moment ago fleeing so quickly it left me winded.
I stared at the spot where she’d been and cursed myself. This was my fault. No one else’s. She’d told me over and over again that she didn’t like me; she’d never claimed she did.
My ego just couldn’t believe it.
Believe it now, moron?
I was an idiot for not listening to her. I was so full of myself that I couldn’t face the fact that these feelings I had for her were one-sided.
I was so sure she was blinded by her stubbornness, but it was me…
I was the one who couldn’t see what was right in front of my face.
I was the idiot who thought she felt it too, and now I’d gone and done what I’d sworn I would never do.
I’d let Edie break my heart.
Again.
Chapter 5
Edie
“You look good, Edie. Stop fidgeting.” Julia was home from college for the weekend and had put herself in charge of choosing my outfit for the dance.
Because that had worked out so well for me the last time.
I moved from side to side, watching the way the pale pink sheath dress moved along with me. This was so not my normal style. I didn’t do cutesy and pink. I wasn’t sweet and romantic—heck, I couldn’t even have a first kiss without freaking out and making things weird.
The memory of that night reared up before I could stop it and I had to bite my lip to keep from gasping at the surge of shame and humiliation and pain.
It was the second time in my life that I ran away and I hated myself for it.
I hated myself even more for not addressing it after the fact. A whole week went by and rather than deal with the fallout, I’d taken the cowardly way out and just ignored the whole situation.
Easy enough to do since Dane was acting like it never happened. He’d gone back to how things used to be between us. All smirks and quips and absolutely no sign of the kind, thoughtful guy I’d been getting glimpses of these past few weeks.
Which was good.
It was fine.
It was…well, it was what it was.
Life was officially back to normal. Or it would be once this stupid dance was over and the paper was handed in.
Our group project would be done, and there would be no reason to spend any more time with Dane.
“If you keep gnawing on your lips like that, I’m going to smack you,” my younger sister Haylee said mildly. Ever the sweetheart, she smiled at my reflection in the mirror even as she threatened violence.
I stopped biting my lip and went back to eyeing my reflection. This dress Julia had picked screamed easygoing and relaxed, and neither of those words could be used to describe me. Ever. “This dress is a lie.”
“Clothes don’t lie,” Julia said, already moving to the vanity in her old bedroom and sifting through the makeup she’d left behind.
Haylee—whose dress this was, FYI—sat on the bed behind me, watching the action. “I think you look pretty.”
“Thanks, Haylee.”
“I can’t believe you don’t have a date.” Julia sounded disgusted even though I’d already explained the situation.
Haylee sighed sadly. “I can’t believe you managed to turn one of the most romantic nights of the year into a school assignment.”
Julia flopped down on the bed next to Haylee and crossed her arms. “And I can’t believe you finally kissed Dane Foster and then ran away without a word!”
I dropped my head with a groan as Haylee added, “I can’t believe that either.”
I reached for the earrings that Haylee had insisted I wear. “Are you guys ganging up on me now?” I glanced at them in the mirror. “If so, I’m out of here.”
“No!” Julia said, sitting up.
“No, no we’re definitely not,” Haylee said.
Both of my sisters were way more excited about this dance than I was. I knew that their excitement had more to do with the story I’d told them about Dane and that kiss than with their love of playing dress-up with me.
Although, any time I gave them the chance to dress me, my girlie-girl sisters got way too into it. But tonight they were treating this dance like it was a ball and I was Cinderella.
They were in for a disappointment.
Dane might very well have been Prince Charming, but I was no Cinderella.
Cinderella never behaved so badly. I r
ubbed a hand over my eyes until Haylee told me to stop or risk ruining the eye makeup she’d just finished applying.
It was hard to care too much about makeup or even this dress when the rest of the night loomed ahead of me like a nightmare.
How was I going to face him tonight? I’d managed to avoid any serious conversations with him at school—which wasn’t all that hard since he seemed to be avoiding me, too. But at some point, I would have to explain. Maybe even apologize.
Yeah, I should definitely apologize.
I still couldn’t believe I’d run away.
In my defense, I’d panicked. I mean, obviously. That was not reason at work when I’d gone scampering off like a scared little mouse.
I just hadn’t known what to make of that kiss.
I mean, I knew how I’d felt.
Like the world as I’d known it had just ended. Like the planets and the stars of my own personal solar system had gone up in a dazzling display of lights, and what remained…
Well, that was the scary part, wasn’t it?
I had no idea what this new world looked like. And that was terrifying.
For years, I’d told myself that I was over Dane Foster. He’d hurt me. He didn’t like me. It was a mistake.
And now?
I met my own gaze in the reflection and struggled to hold it.
Now I was scared.
But the thing was, I didn’t do scared. That wasn’t me. Or, at least—it wasn’t my normal M.O. Which I guess was why I panicked. I couldn’t get my brain to work, and words had failed me, and…I’d just needed some space.
The problem was—now I had too much space. He’d been ignoring me at school, flirting with every girl but me right in front of my face. Maybe it was on purpose, or maybe I was being too sensitive.
He’d always been a flirt, I’d just never watched him flirt after he’d kissed me, that was all. It was only natural that watching him move on to someone new so quickly would make me…uncomfortable.
Okay, fine. Jealous.
There. I could admit I was jealous.
It didn’t mean anything.
It couldn’t mean anything, because if there had been a moment when we could have gotten over our past and moved forward with whatever this was—I’d ruined it.
I’d ruined everything by running, and I wasn’t sure how to make it right. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure I wanted to make it right. Dane had hurt me once, and as much as I might want to believe that I was different, that he was different, that the way he felt had changed…
I eyed myself and let out a huff.
I wanted to believe all that but I couldn’t. I didn’t do fairy tales. I wasn’t a romantic, and I didn’t really believe that people could change. Not inherently, at least. In looks, yes, but personalities? Temperaments?
I didn’t think so.
“So is Dane going solo, too?” Haylee asked.
“Yes,” I said, exasperation clear in my voice. I didn’t know why this was so hard for her to fathom. “Dane and me and the rest of the group, we’re all going alone. Together.”
My sisters exchanged a look. They’d been exchanging a lot of looks tonight so I let it slide. I got it. They were worried about me. I hadn’t been acting like myself ever since the kiss, and I knew it.
It had messed with my head and affected every area of my life.
Even school work, which was just craziness. I never let anything interfere with schoolwork. But this week, I totally had. Dane and I should have met at least once more to touch base on the group project, but we hadn’t. We’d been so busy avoiding each other, we’d managed to avoid the heck out of the assignment.
It was fine, though. I’d checked everyone’s results earlier today and we’d proven our point with the other four. Zach and Anna were almost a perfect match after a few weeks of fake dating, so we’d fooled the app into thinking they were actually into each other. And Rex and Jessica’s results still said they should be with each other, which was never going to happen. It didn’t sound like they’d found love matches with their blind dates, either, but I was still pretty certain that our point had been made. They were actively dating other people and the stupid app still got it wrong.
As for my results—I hadn’t looked. I hadn’t needed to. It had only ever given me one name, and I knew nothing had changed.
Had Dane’s changed? I scowled at the mirror. He never had said who he’d gotten, but he’d have to tell us all tonight.
Not that I cared. He’d moved on and that was probably for the best. Even if I apologized, the moment was over. He’d probably already lost whatever interest he’d had once he realized how difficult I was. I never had been and never would be easy. I couldn’t be chill if my life depended on it…
Or my love life, as the case may be.
But, all angsting and self-hatred aside, I really did regret dropping the ball on the group project. Guilt over the way I’d mentally checked out of our assignment had me fidgeting with the clutch Julia handed me. Not the same glittery one from junior high, thank goodness. This one was basic and black—way more my style.
“So?” Julia asked as she leaned against the vanity next to me. She’d turned to lean her back against the furniture which meant she was facing me head on and was basically right in my face.
There was no avoiding her.
“Are you going to man up and apologize?”
I didn’t answer right away and now Haylee was standing on my other side.
“I think Dane at least deserves an explanation.”
I bit my lip. “What am I supposed to say? That I freaked out because I used to have a crush on him and he’d hurt my feelings?”
My sisters looked at each other again and Julia spoke next. “Sure, you could say that. Or you could try something a little more honest.”
I stared at her blankly.
Haylee sighed on my other side. “She means, you could tell him that you’ve never stopped having a crush on him and you’re afraid of getting hurt.”
I frowned over at Haylee. “I don’t—” I couldn’t finish. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him or that kiss for days. I might not have had a lot of experience but I did know that one didn’t obsess over a guy for days on end if it meant nothing.
That kiss had definitely meant something.
“Okay, maybe I do now, because he kissed me—”
Julia groaned, her head falling back in exaggerated impatience.
“What?”
Haylee took my hands in hers and then my little sister leveled me with a look that could only be described as patronizing. “Edie. Sweetheart. We love you, but it’s time to face the fact that you never got over your feelings for Dane.”
I scowled at my sister and tugged my hands out of hers. “That’s not true. At the junior high dance, I—”
“You got hurt, yes, we get that.” Julia rolled her eyes and patted her mouth as she gave a fake yawn. “That’s old news. What we’re trying to tell you is, you never let that go.”
“Hate and love aren’t all that far apart, you know,” Haylee added, as if she in all her fourteen-year-old infinite wisdom had just figured that out. “We think it’s time you admit to yourself and Dane, that you were into him in junior high and you’ve been crushing on him ever since.”
I stared at her with my lips parted, ready to protest. But the words wouldn’t quite come. I hadn’t spent the last few years pining over Dane Foster…
Had I?
I blinked once. Twice. “Wait. You honestly think I’ve been in love with Dane Foster since the eighth grade?”
They exchanged another look and I was just about ready to knock their heads together if they did it one more time.
I crossed my arms with a huff before moving away from them. They stayed where they were but I felt their gazes following me, waiting for me to speak.
I whipped around. “What is it? What do you want me to say?”
They exchanged rueful smiles and some exasperated
sighs as they headed toward the door. “You know, for someone so smart, you can be kind of dumb,” Haylee said as she left the room.
Never one to be outdone, Julia paused in the doorway with a sad little smile. “And for someone so strong, you can be such a coward.”
I picked up a pillow and went to throw it at Julia but it only hit the door as she shut it behind her with a loud laugh.
I grabbed the clutch and shoved the things I needed inside.
Fine. They wanted me to be smart and brave? I could do that. I was doing it. I was going to this dance, where I would see Dane.
I wasn’t avoiding anything.
A little while later, I was actively not avoiding Dane—but I couldn’t say the same for him. I knew he’d seen me when I’d walked in, but he never left the group of girls who were surrounding him.
I glared at him from across the room. We were supposed to be here alone, dang it.
Alone and together.
I was standing here alone, ready to be together. So who’s the coward now, Julia?
I spotted Rex and Jessica walking in and waved them over. Zach and Anna weren’t far behind them and they spotted me right away. Apparently their arrivals were what Dane was waiting for because he, too, headed over to where I stood by the refreshments.
I plastered a big smile on my face as all five of them reached me at once. “Hey, guys, so glad you could—” My words faltered and got lost somewhere in my throat as my gaze caught sight of their hands.
Jessica and Rex were holding hands, their fingers intertwined. Those hands that didn’t let go of one another when they came to a stop.
These were couple hands.
“Why…What…?” I looked over to Dane and saw him scowling at their hands as well.
No, actually, he was looking at Zach’s hand, which was…on Anna’s waist. He was holding her against his side like she was his prize teddy bear.
“What the…?” I started.
I looked over at Dane again and saw him glaring at each one of them in turn. “Does anyone want to tell us what’s going on here?”
He sounded like a drill sergeant. Or a teacher. It was kind of hot.
I tore my gaze away and focused on the others, all of whom were looking around guiltily.
The Match Makers: Love Quiz #3 Page 7
