His arm brushed against Grace as she reached out to touch Evangeline and a shiver of longing shot through him. Being around the woman was pure torture when he knew he could not have her. Inhaling a deep breath, he looked out at the pews grateful that the ceremony would soon conclude.
Less than a day. He had mere hours before he’d depart for America, leaving Grace behind once more. It was for the best. He would continue on as he had before, and she would as well. All he need do is make it through this day.
Did she share his thoughts?
Unable to stop himself, he peaked over at her. Her gaze locked with his—sadness and longing, filling the depths of her eyes. He longed to go to her. To pull her against his chest, cradle her in his arms… Bloody hell, the woman stirred his very soul.
What cruel trick had him falling in love with her all over again? The woman who’d broken him—shattered him so completely that he’d spent his life alone. And now, even knowing he could not have her, here he stood longing for her all over again.
“Receive the light of Christ.” the vicar said. His voice breaking through Lewis’s thoughts.
Lewis stepped forward and lit Evangeline’s candle from the Easter candle the vicar had indicated.
The vicar smiled before he continued. “Parent’s and godparents, this light…”
Lewis’s mind trailed back to Grace. He wondered at what kept her in England. It were not as if she had to make a living, or remain to care for someone else. Her children were grown with families of their own and even her friends had wed and moved on. Why did the woman insist on remaining?
The ceremony had reached its conclusion, everyone bursting into song. Lewis joined in, singing the hymn. After, everyone returned to Goldstone Castle for a luncheon celebration. Amelia had invited many from the local area to join in the merriment which resulted in a crush of guests. Everyone from local doctors and merchants to nearby lords and ladies crowded the castle’s ballroom where an expansive lunch had been laid out.
Lewis was grateful for the many people in attendance for it allowed him a distraction. Even Lord and Lady Luvington had made the trip from London to Scotland, arriving early this morning. After having an awkward lunch, filled with stollen glances at Grace and sadness in his heart, he escaped to share a drink with the men.
Now the hour had grown late and all of the guests had assembled for the ball. Lewis stood near the refreshment table with Lord and Lady Luvington as Amelia and Richard took to the dance floor.
“What a beautiful way to end such a joyous day,” Lady Luvington beamed as she watched Richard leading Amelia about the floor. “I do so love dancing.”
Lord Luvington patted his wife hand where it rested at the crook of his elbow. “The moment guests are welcomed to join in, I will sweep you onto the dance floor.”
Lady Luvington smiled up at her husband then turned to Lewis. “Do you enjoy dancing, Mr. Duffield?”
“On occasion.” Lewis said. Though this night wasn’t one of those times. He was positively dreading the dance he would soon share with Grace. Not because he did not wish to have her in his arms, but because he would have to set her free afterward. Their dance would signify the end for them—there final good bye.
The quartet neared the end of the first song and he peered around the crowded space searching for Grace. She was strolling toward him, a weak grin shaping her lips. Breathing became difficult as he watched her draw closer. Adjusting his cravat, he turned his attention back to Lord and Lady Luvington. “If you will excuse me.”
“Of course.” Lady Luvington boomed her head and Lord Luvington smiled as he nodded.
Lewis approached Grace, meeting her near the dance floor and offered his arm. As the quartet struck the first cords of a waltz, he led her out onto the polished floor. For long moments, he simply held her as they moved through the steps of the dance. His heart pounded so hard he feared it might burst from his chest as he pulled her close.
Beside them, Amelia and Richard danced, but Lewis paid them no attention. His focus was locked on Grace—on absorbing all he could of her before being forced to relinquish her. He inhaled her light floral scent and relished the heat radiating between them. A final moment of sweet torture. When their set ended he would depart the dance floor, never to be so close to her again.
Their eyes meet, hers soft and warm, but also filled with emotions—longing, mischief, sadness—gazing into them still his breath. “Grace,” he whispered unable to speak with more force.
She notched her chin, bringing her lips closer to his. “Yes.”
He pressed his lips into a tight flat line and shook his head. As much as he wished it wasn’t so, there wasn’t anything he could say—nothing that would fix what was broken between them.
She sighed, he gaze never leaving his. “Come to me tonight. One last time. A chance to say our goodbye’s.”
Dare he indulge himself again? Would he be able to walk away? More importantly, would it be fair to either of them? His throat tightened as he turned it over on his mind.
She sucked in her lower lip, her gaze burning into his. “No commitments, no questions, only closure.”
Temptation tightened his loins, his blood heating as he searched the depths of her eyes. He was paralyzed, unable to move or speak for fear of making the wrong choice. He did not wish to cause either of them further pain. Nor did he believe himself capable of finding closure where she was concerned.
The quartet struck the final cords of the song and Grace slipped from his arms. “Tonight,” she said before strolling away, disappearing into the crush of the ballroom.
Chapter 8
Unwilling to waste another moment, Grace feigned a headache and retreated to her room. She wanted to savor the night, to spend every minute she could with Lewis. She’d been confident he would note her absence and follow close behind her, but that had been two hours past.
She fidgeted with her wrapper as she paced the length of her room. She’d caught him stealing glances at her on several occasions before she excused herself. Surely by now, he’d figured out that she’d left the ball. Her heart sank for there was only one conclusion to be drawn. He wasn’t coming.
Grace paced over to the bed and sank onto it, her chest aching. She’d not have the chance to make love to him again. Never again would she feel his heart beating against hers, or feel his hands trailing over her flesh. Her trait tighter, a lone tear forming at the corner of one eye.
Jasmine nudged her, the cats large heat bumping into hers. Grace rested her hand on Jasmines back and buried her face on the tigers soft fur. At least she had her pet to comfort her. Not that she deserved any comfort. This whole mess was of her own making. She should not have allowed herself to hope, to dream.
Accepting her fate, she stroked her hand down Jasmine’s back. “Weeping will not get me anywhere.”
The cat angled its head then licked Grace’s cheek as though it understood.
Grace could not help the fragile grin that formed on her lips. She gave the beast one final pat, then stood and moved to the wardrobe. Reaching in, she retrieved her nightdress. In preparation for Lewis, she was naked beneath her wrapper. Now she required proper attire and a good nights rest.
As she unfastened her wrapper and knock came at the door. She dropped the nightdress, letting nit pool on the floor as she raced to open the door. Her breath caught, heart racing as she flung it open to find Lewis on the other side.
He stepped into the room, the door clicking shut behind him.
Before either could do anything else, Grace released her wrapper. It slid down her body, leaving her bare before him. She didn’t want to talk—not now—she only wished to loose herself in him. To relish the time she had and show him how much she loved him. To steal one last memory to keep her for the rest of her days.
After a long moment, he closed in on her, one hand on the small of her back the other caressing her jaw, lifting her chin. And then his lips were on hers, all consuming. A tread of pleasure wen
t through her as their tongues meet, gliding and teasing against each other.
She pulled the shirttails from his trousers and skimmed her hands along his sides desperate to feel him.
Lewis stepped back enough to pull the shirt over his head. Her mouth went dry as she greedily took him in, all muscle, tight and corded. She trailed her gaze over him, pausing at the fall of his trousers as he worked to free the buttons.
She stepped forward, then dropped to her knees to kiss his lean, muscled torso as she slid his trousers and smalls down the length of his sculpted thighs. Trailing her hands back up his heated skin, she stared up at him relishing the passion in his gaze. She wanted to give him everything. To sear the memory of their lovemaking into his soul.
She took his hardened length into hand, stroking her palm and fingers over the silken flesh. Her blood ignited, desire swimming through her veins as she brought her lips to his cock.
A deep guttural moan ripped from him as she lapped, kissed, and sucked until he reached for her, pulling her back to her feet.
“Grace,” he sighed, through clenched teeth before backing her against the wall and capturing her lips with his. He trailed his hand down her side, across her belly, then lower to find the curls between her legs. She trembled with anticipation as he kissed her, deep and lush.
His fingers teased her opening as she arched against him. Then he parted her, slipping a finger into her passage and she bucked against him desperation swamping her. He locked one arm around her waist and lowered her to the bed, trailing kisses down the column of her neck.
Pleasure curled through her, pooling in a dozen places as he took one breast into his mouth, teasing and sucking as she writhed beneath him. Moving lower he licked and sucked a trail down her belly, leaving a searing path in his wake before pushing her thighs apart.
After what seemed like forever and only an instant, he lifted his head.
She sighed his name, ready for anything he wished to give her as she tangled her fingers in his thick hair. His fingers moved again, teased until she opened further, then he lowered his mouth kissing her where she most needed to be touched. Her hips bucked up of their own accord as he continued to warship her. She moaned and clutched his hair, desperation driving her until her release exploded sending her into a pit of ecstasy.
Lewis gathered her against him, pressing their bodies so tightly together that there was no space for anything else and captured her lips. She trilled her hands across his shoulders and down his arms guiding. He rolled onto her, her legs wrapping around his hips and thrust into her depths.
Pleasure rocked through her, building more with each thrust. He kissed and caressed her sensitive flesh as his cock slid in and out of her in long, slow strokes. Unable to bare it anymore, she began rocking her hips, increasing their motion as the need for release built ever stronger.
He rolled until she was seated onto of him, then held her hips firmly as she rode out her pleasure moaning his name over and over as she took what she wanted from him. Her muscles throbbed and tightened as she screamed in ecstasy. His release filled her as she rode out the final waves of pleasure.
Grace collapsed, snuggling against Lewis’s chest relishing the intimacy of his naked skin pressed to hers as she struggled to regain her composure. He stroked his hand over her hair, her back, and dropped kisses on the top of her head as she slowly returned to the moment.
Reality crept back in as he rolled onto his side and gathered her beside him, wrapping her tight in his arms. This was farewell. Tomorrow he would be gone. Tomorrow… No. She’d not think of it now. Tonight, she would soak him him, relish their time together. Tonight she’d allow nothing but the moment she was in to consume her.
She stroked her fingertips against the skin of his chest and angled her head to look up at him. “Lewis.”
He gazed at her, his green eyes warm and tender. “Yes.”
“Stay with me tonight?” She asked, her heart beating against his.
He nodded then tucked her head under his chin. “Sleep well, darling.”
Grace woke to bright streaks of sunlight streaming into her room. “Lewis.” She patted the mattress beside her, reaching for him. Her heart sank at the empty space she found. She turned her head in a slow arc to peek at the empty space beside her. He had left—gone back to his life in America, and she remained behind. Nothing more than a memory.
Perhaps it wasn’t too late. Maybe he’d not yet departed. She jumped from her bed, heart racing as she flung open the wardrobe to retrieve a day gown. She tugged it on, then raced over to the window to peer down at the drive and she struggled with her laces. Her pulse increased at the sight of everyone gathered below saying their good byes to Lewis.
Desperation tightened it grip on her and she marched to the door, flung it open and then slammed it closed again to crumble back against it. What was she thinking? She could not chase after him. Her place was in England. His in America. They’d already said all there was to say. Already made their choices. She dropped her head into her hands and allowed the tears to flow.
Grace could not say for certain how long she’d stayed like that—her face married in her hands and back against the door—but she’d cried herself dry by the time someone rapped against the wooden pain pulling her back to the present. “Who is it.”
“Amelia.” Her friends familiar voice called out.
“And Eliza along with Sarah. Do let us in.”
Grace pulled in a deep breath, her eyes fluttering closed for a heartbeat before she stood and welcomed them in.
Amelia pulled Grace into a warm embrace. “I’m so sorry.”
Grace hugged her back then pulled away.
“We are here for you.” Sarah said, as she laid a hand on Grace’s shoulder.
Eliza gave her a sympathetic grin.
Grace stooped to pick Jasmine up then settled in a chair with the cat on her lap. “You needn’t fret over me. I’ll be fine in a day or so.” She didn’t even believe herself, but all the same she had to try.
“Nonsense. You have always been there for us and now we intend to repay the kindness.” Sarah said.
“None of you owe me a thing,” Grace said. “Besides there is nothing anyone can do.”
Amelia sat beside Grace. “Tell us what happened and let us see for ourselves if there is anything we can do.”
“At the least talking it out may make you feel a spot better.” Eliza said.
Grace could not imagine that baring her soul to anyone would do anything other than make her more miserable. All the same, these women where her dearest friends. She could trust them with her life and she well knew it.
“He’s gone,” Amelia said, her voice low, nearly a whisper.
Grace swallowed, “I know.”
“Did he refuse you?” Sarah asked.
Eliza paced to the window and peered out. “I’ll wring his neck myself.”
“There’s no need.” Grace shook her head. “We refused each other.”
“What?” Amelia’s eyes widened. “Why would you do that?”
Grace took a moment to sort out her jumbled thoughts. She closed her eyes and drew in a steadying breath as she stroked Jasmine’s neck. “He refuses to leave America. His life is there and mine is in England. Its the same as it was all those years ago.”
Sarah propped her hip on the vanity and turned a studying gaze on Grace. “What keeps you from leaving England?”
“I’m a duchess, I have responsibilities.”
“To who?” Sarah narrowed her eyes slightly.
Grace said the first things that came to her mind. “My daughters, you ladies, and my home.”
“Forgive me, but that in nonsense.” Amelia grabbed Grace’s hand. “We are all settled, married, and happy. Why shouldn’t you have that as well?”
Grace looked to Eliza. “Most of you are.”
Eliza placed a hand on her chest. “Do not use me for an excuse. I could find a new position or relocate with you. Either would please
me.”
Grace glanced at each woman in turn. There words circling through her mind. She could not deny that they were right and hope along with realization bloomed in her chest. Lewis belonged with her. She loved him and he loved her. This foolishness over where they lived had to end and she’d be the one to stop it. “Eliza, help me change into my riding habit. I’m going after him.”
Chapter 9
Grace had raced neck or nothing across the Scottish landscape in a desperate drive to catch Lewis along the road. He departed Goldstone Castle about thirty minutes before she did, however, horses were always faster than carriages. She should have been able to catch up to him. And yet, she hadn’t.
“Where is he,” she muttered to herself, her gaze darting about the shipyard. He had to be here somewhere. She trotted along a row of carriages, her muscles tightened in anticipation as dread turned her stomach. Surely she would have crossed paths with his carriage as it returned to the castle if he’d already sailed.
Searching, she continued along the row, her gaze flickering from one conveyance to the next. “Come on,” she said as she passed one carriage after the next. Her heart soared when her gaze lit on the familiar crest. She pulled rein and slid from her mount.
“Lewis. Lewis,” she called as she raced toward the black lacquered coach. Her heart racing, she drew closer. “Lewis, I must speak to you.”
The coachman rounded the carriage, his face drawn, and she stopped cold in her tracks. “I’m sorry, Your Grace. He has already boarded.”
She turned toward the ships, all lined up in a neat row along the docks. “Which one?”
“You cannot storm the ship, Your Grace. It isn’t safe.”
She narrowed her gaze on the coachman. “Which one,” She demanded.
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