by Rana Drake
"Why?" I demanded to know. "What is so different about me?"
Jake didn't say anything. Finally, he turned the question around. "Why did you trust me?"
I laughed bitterly. "Because I had to."
"Well, maybe I have to trust you, too. That's what love does to people, that's why I have always rejected it. It makes you lose control. I don't like losing control."
"But you're doing it anyway," I pointed out.
"For you."
I nodded, staring at the floor. "I told my Mom I would come see her tomorrow. I don't want that to be a lie. It would kill her if I didn't show up."
"Then I guess we know what's happening tomorrow," Jake agreed.
Why did this feel so painful?
"Will I ever see you again?" I wanted to know if anything that we had shared was even a little bit salvageable.
Jake shook his head. "No."
"Why not?" I asked, feeling whiny. I wanted to have my way. I wanted my gorgeous, dominant captor, but I wanted my independence and my family and my life back, too. Why couldn't I have both?
"You know why, Collin. It's too risky. I'm not an honest man," he reminded me. "I'm not someone you can take home to your suburban parents. You fucking know that."
"Yeah," I said quietly.
"You've changed me a lot," he admitted. "I never in a million fucking years thought that I would be sitting here in my own home with someone I brought home from the club. I never thought that I would bring someone here, and then not want them to go. I never thought I would find someone who I didn't think was disposable, replaceable. But you aren't. And I don't know if I really like that or not. It's going to be different without you."
I was shocked to hear him say these things to me. He wasn't supposed to be a man that felt anything except for the sensations that would make him cum.
I stayed silent.
"I'll have a suitcase packed for you with everything you'll need, and I'll send you off with all the money you could possible need as well," he stated matter of factly, as if he were negotiating a business deal. "That'll be that."
Jake's driver put the suitcase in the trunk of the car, and shut the door to the backseat where I was sitting. I was to be dropped off in the center of town, and I could do what I wanted from there. My plan was to call a cab and have them take me to see my parents. I was planning to tell them that I fell in love with an exchange student at school who had to go back to his home country when his student visa had expired, and invited me to go with him. I had done it without thinking, and, I would tell them, the relationship didn't work out, as most young ones don't, and I had come home.
I would tell them I was too embarrassed to call them from my trip abroad. Maybe I would tell them he had gotten me into drugs, but now my head was on straight and I was sorry. They would be disappointed, but they would forgive me. It was the best story I could come up with. It would have to do. I just wanted everything to go back to normal. I wanted to forget about Jake as quickly as I could.
I wanted to forget all of it as quickly as I could. It was difficult getting into that car, knowing that the only man that had ever given me pleasure was going to be left behind forever, but I had done it. So had he.
I had looked back as the car pulled away from the secluded house. I had remembered what it felt like when he had carried me, when I was too bruised and broken to walk by myself. As the house disappeared from view, I turned to face the front. I wished that Jake and I had crossed path under different circumstances. I wish that he wasn’t heavily tied into the criminal circles that was. I wished we could just be alone in the world, with nothing and nobody else to ask questions. I wished that I hadn't become broken in order to experience the pleasure and love that I had felt with him, even though, it was worth it in the end. I wished that everything was different, but it wasn't going to be no matter how much I wished for it.
It was time to go back.
25
Jake
The best way for me to forget things that I don't like to think about is to immerse myself in work. I have been known as a workaholic by some people, but what those people don't know is that whenever I turn into one, it's always meant as a distraction. And it always works. When I exhaust my body and mind, there is no room for thoughts. The shitty things that I don't want to think about just fall away, fade into the background.
Except this time. No matter how much time I spent at the club, and no matter how many missions I went on to make crooked people straighten up, I couldn't forget Collin. And I was becoming less and less motivated to try. It had been nearly a month since he had gone on his way.
When I explained everything to Hunter, he wasn't thrilled about it, but for some reason, he understood the whole thing all too well. I guess since he had fallen in love, he had been changed a little too. He had told me that it's inevitable that when you start to feel that way for someone, you just don't prioritize the same things anymore.
That was for damn sure. My whole way of thinking felt different. Which is why I had scheduled an in person meeting with him. I had to tell him the whole truth, so that he could begin making arrangements for my replacement.
I couldn't go on at the club.
When I knocked on the door of Hunter's office at the club, the one that he was hardly ever even in anymore, now that he did most of his business from home- where his own sub resided.
"Come on in, Jake," he said.
I pushed the door open and found him leaning back in his chair, looking more relaxed than he usually does.
I took a seat on the leather chair in front of his desk.
"I think I might know why you're here, but I want to hear it from you first," he said, his eyes smiling a bit.
Hunter always pretended to know what was going on, even if he didn't actually know. Only this time, he likely did.
"I'm going to resign. From the club. Permanently." I just decided to come right out with it.
I don't know what I expected out of him, but he just nodded. "As I suspected," he said.
I raised my eyebrows. "How the hell did you know that? I've been putting in double the hours I normally do for the past month. You could at least pretend to be surprised by the turn of events."
Hunter laughed. "You've been putting in the hours, yes. But you've also been extremely distracted. And you've been acting like to asshole to everyone. I figured you weren't exactly fulfilled anymore."
I sighed.
"This is about that kid, isn't it? Collin, was that his name?"
It pissed me off that Hunter was this good sometimes. No point in denying the truth, though.
"Yeah."
"Are you going after him?" Hunter asked.
I shook my head. "Of course not. He's gone. I let him go. But I don't want anyone else if I can't have him, and I just don't want to be a part of all this anymore. It just…it doesn't do it for me after him. It was always about the power and the money for me in here, and I have plenty of money. Enough to retire on. Having all these slaves to have fun with was great for a while, but after him, I'm not even interested. I'm just sick of it. Sorry."
Hunter smiled. "Don't apologize to me. Of course, we'll still be friends, and of course it will be difficult to find a replacement for you. I don't think I could ever find anyone that ran this place with the iron fist you did, but I'll make do. But I think you should go after him. Go find him. He probably feels the same way you do."
I gave Hunter a skeptical look, but he just pushed a resignation contract forward for me to sign. "Do what you know is right," he said, as I picked up the pen and signed my name, ending my stint with the organization.
It was nearly midnight, and the restaurant that Collin's father owned was closed. I was sitting at the edge of the parking lot, parked next to Collin's car, and I was waiting. It shouldn't be long before he came out.
After two weeks of moping at home, unable to find anything to do with myself, I had finally taken Hunter's advice. I decided to find Collin, and at least
give him and us a chance. Now it would all be up to Collin, and his reaction at finding me here. I had tried my best to mentally prepare myself for his rejection, but I knew that if it really happened that way I would be crushed. Still, I kept it around as a possibility, and even a likely one. He was young, he had his whole life, and he had probably been in therapy since he was with me. For all I knew, he was working hard every day to forget about everything that had happened to him since the kidnapping, and he likely resents me by now.
But I had to at least try.
I had used the private investigators employed by the club to find out what he was up to, and it wasn't hard at all to find out where Collin was spending his time these days. I already knew his hometown from the basic pick-up information that had been gathered before he was grabbed. It turned out that his father owned a restaurant there, and Collin was working there, probably until the new semester started at college.
I had decided to simply wait for him after he closed up. If he was angered by my arrival, then I would assure him he would never have to see me again. I wasn't sure what I would do then, but I hoped it wouldn't come to that.
I was in a rented car, and wearing clothing that I would normally not be caught dead in - jeans and a hoodie. I looked poor - and for good reason. I had no idea what he had told his parents, or local law enforcement. I didn't want trouble. I trusted Collin when I released him, but that didn't mean that anyone had believed whatever story he fed them.
I watched in my rearview mirror as the door to the restaurant opened and Collin emerged. He made his way across the parking lot, passing underneath the single streetlight that was close to the building, and then descending into the darkness where his and my car were parked. I stepped out of the driver's seat, and I saw him come to a halt, surprised at the sudden movement in the still night.
Even though there were no parking lot lights where I was, the full moon's brightness was plenty to illuminate my face. I saw him squint, then pick up his pace, hurrying toward me.
"Jake." One word on his lips and my knees went weak.
"It's me," I said. "I'll go if you want me to, please don't be alarmed, I just want to talk-"
I was cut off when he threw himself into my arms, his lips pressing against mine in a feverish kiss. I kissed him back, hungrily.
"I missed you," he said, kissing me, not letting go. "I missed you so badly. I thought I'd never see you again."
I held him tight in the quiet of the abandoned parking lot.
"I missed you, too. Are we safe here?"
"Yeah," Collin said. "Nobody knows who you are here, don't worry."
"I can't be without you," I professed. "I love you and I need you."
"I love you too," Collin looked into my eyes. "I wish you could take me away from here, but the club-"
"I quit the fucking club, Collin. That's no more. It's history. I'm out,"
Collin kissed me again. "You quit…for me?"
"And for me. I don't want anything but you. I don't want that shit anymore."
"Then let's get out of here. I want to leave. I don't belong in this town anymore. Everyone here treats me like some damaged and fragile child, and I don't enjoy it at all. I'm ready to move on."
"What about college?" I asked.
"It doesn't start again for another few weeks. It's not that far from your place, you know. If you could give me a ride or something…"
I hugged him. "So you'll come home with me?"
Collin nodded.
"Maybe tell your family first this time," I kidded him, my heart feeling lighter than it ever had before.
Collin responded by opening the back seat of his car and pulling me inside, on top of him.
"Fuck me, right here," he pleading, undoing his pants and pulling them off.
He was so small that he fit in the backseat easily. I had to arrange myself so that I'd fit, but I managed to pull my cock out and sink into him, holding my sub and kissing him as the car rocked on its wheels to the rhythm of our fucking.
Also by Rana Drake
